CYNRIC observed Valentine as he told him they should not meet for a while. He saw the hurt flash across his face first, which Cynric had expected. Then he saw confusion, followed by a flicker of relief. But now, Valentine looked frustrated, even angry and deeply sad. Cynric could understand the first reaction, and maybe even the second and third. But the rest of it? He was at a complete loss.
This was especially confusing because Valentine only showed this reaction after Cynric told him that he and Wulfric had made up.
“Are you… not happy that my brother and I reconciled?” he asked, his voice hesitant and unsure.
“No, no, of course not!” Valentine quickly said. “I’m just…” He paused and then let out a bitter laugh. “Let’s just say I feel useless.”
Now Cynric was more than confused. “Why?”
“Because all it took was one serious conversation with your brother, and you can already smile so softly in a way I have never seen you.” A sad smile crossed his lips. “And it makes me feel that all the years I have spent by your side, I never managed to truly reach you.”
Valentine’s face fell, the brief sad smile vanishing. He would not meet Cynric’s eyes, staring at some point on the floor instead. The energy seemed to drain out of him, his whole body going still in a way that spoke of defeat. It was the posture of someone who had tried very hard for a very long time, and had just realized all his effort might not have been enough.
A jolt of panic shot through him at the sight. This was wrong. Valentine should be proud, with his chin always held high. Valentine should be full of easy confidence, with a quick smile and always ready with a clever remark. This defeated man on the screen was a stranger, and the sight made his chest feel tight with a sudden, fierce need to fix it. He could not stand to see Valentine like this.
“You know it’s not like that,” Cynric said, his voice urgent as he leaned closer to the screen. “My relationship with Wulf is just… complicated. I never believed I would ever be able to untangle the mess between us. I’m just relieved that we finally did. But that has nothing to do with you.”
He saw the immediate effect of his words. Valentine’s expression seemed to shut down completely. The last bit of openness in his eyes closed off, replaced by a hollow look that was far more unsettling than anger. Valentine’s gaze dropped away from the screen, and his shoulders slumped just a little more. Cynric felt a cold knot form in his stomach. He had meant to reassure him, but he had only made it worse.
“Yes, I’m not even relevant enough to be part of the conversation,” Valentine said in a flat and quiet voice.
“I told you it’s not like that!” Cynric said, his voice rising almost to a shout as he desperately wanted the other man to believe him.
But instead of reacting, Valentine continued to wear that blank expression. “I understand.”
Cynric’s heart started to beat loudly in his chest from nervousness. In his panicked state, he blurted out, “Stop assuming things when I didn’t even say anything of the things you’re thinking right now. Do you even know why I ask not to meet for a month? Because I need that time to figure out my own feelings… for you.”
The moment he finished speaking, he felt a hot flush spread across his face. No, why in the world had he just said that? He glared at Valentine. This was all his fault. Why did he have to look so defeated and heartbroken? Now he had gone and revealed his reason for not meeting him for a month.
Valentine, on the other side of the screen, did not notice the glare because his mind was stuck on the part where Cynric said he was trying to figure out his feelings for him. He was completely frozen, unsure if he had heard correctly. He wanted so badly for it to be true. So, he raised his hand and slapped himself.
Seeing that, Cynric gasped. “What are you doing?”
Valentine felt the sharp sting on his cheek, the skin throbbing from the force of his own slap. The pain was real, which meant that this moment was real. Cynric had actually said he wanted to figure out his feelings for him. The meaning of that sank in slowly. This was a monumental shift. It’s the biggest step Cynric had ever taken in their entire relationship.
He stared at Cynric, his voice barely above a whisper. “Are you really going to think about our relationship?”
When Cynric saw the way Valentine’s eyes were slowly starting to brighten, a reluctant softness touched his own expression. He knew he couldn’t take back what he had already said. “Yes. But do not get your hopes up. Like I said, I’m just going to think about it.” Dıscover more novels at NoveI-Fire.ɴet
The corners of Valentine’s lips twitched before breaking into a huge grin. Even if Cynric told him not to get his hopes up, he was going to do exactly that. The simple fact that Cynric was willing to think about their relationship at all meant there was a very good chance the outcome would be positive. If Cynric had already decided against it, he would have just ended things directly.
This one month apart was likely not about Cynric deciding if their relationship was good. It felt more like Cynric needed time to convince himself that it was okay to want it.
Or it could just be him being delusional.
But even that thought could not lessen the happiness he was feeling right now. It was like he had been drowning, and then suddenly he was pulled out of the water and placed on a luxury cruise ship. That was how extreme the swing of his emotions had been.
“Then I’ll wait patiently for your decision in a month,” Valentine said, his voice full of a newfound hope he could no longer hide.
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