Today's Earth date: May 11, 1992

We got the kids back to their parents. They wouldn't let go of us at first. Their whole experience had them pretty shaken up, and they couldn't seem to remember what happened after they went into the Cuts, but I'd guess something like that is normal.

We checked in on our lovable cleric's progress and… it wasn't great. I think he's trying really hard, his hardest probably, but he can doggy paddle and kind of float on his back. He starts strong but psyches himself out and starts to sink.

So Horcus and I are on the hunt for something that stops Wilmond from drowning. Horcus finds it odd that we can't easily find an item that allowed us to breathe underwater, so barring that, we're looking for something like water walking or a kind of featherfall effect to make him super light.

-The Journal of Laszlo the Paladin

The party sat in what would eventually become Sammy's restaurant car, but for now it was bare save for a few chairs. Fergus and Sammy had intended to have construction farther along by now, but the surprise ratman attack derailed that.

The battle happened overnight, and the Zeroes spent most of the next day helping refugees get back home or searching rubble for survivors. Wayne worried that everyone was too emotionally and physically exhausted to talk about living with a permanent curse that turns you into an animal whenever it gets dark out, but the late-night gathering was surprisingly chipper.

In addition to the full crew of Zeroes–including capybara Sammy and the unchanged Vanilli–the group was joined by Perris and the now entirely human Luke.

Wayne the ferret stood to speak. "We have seven Elixirs of the Moon left, which leaves one extra if we all drink one." Addressing Perris the fox directly, Wayne said, "That count includes giving you one, just so you know."

Perris relaxed. "Oh, thank you. I was trying to imagine living the rest of my career as a fox, and I was not enthused."

"Nice when things work out," Hector the elephant said.

The Zero Hero wobbled his head, not quite agreeing with the party barbarian. "The dilemma that I see is that there is a whole city full of people who want one of these. I'm wondering if it's right for us to take them at all."

"For the love of all that's good in this world," Fergus the panda said, "we aren't Heroes, Wayne. We saved the city, and we can donate the last elixir to the self-fellating government officials of this town. Let them pick the alchemists who try to replicate it and be done with this mess."

Armond the walrus and Margo the spotted leopard nodded that they agreed with Fergus.

"So this is complicated for me and me alone?" Wayne asked, looking around.

Every person present confirmed that yes, he was overthinking this. That meant Luke and Perris agreeing also.

"Did you see how many people chose to stay in their were-form today?" Margo asked.

Like the ratmen Wayne fought on Targitaus' ranch, the people of Iomallach could choose to use their transformation in daylight. Turning once the moon came out was non-negotiable, but a great many people voluntarily went about the day as their were-selves.

That wasn't lost on Wayne. As he helped with the recovery efforts earlier that day, he joked with himself that he was in Elwood City, the home for Arthur the aardvark from the PBS show Arthur. His mental audience thought that was hilarious but didn't think much about the many people working in their animal forms at the time.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I did notice that."

"I heard a few folks saying they didn't want to be cured," Margo added. "Your plan is the best we've got, and Iomallach will be okay. I promise."

"Well, that settles it then." Wayne carefully distributed the elixirs. "Drink up and go get some rest."

Everyone but Fergus downed their Elixirs of the Moon. In seconds, Wayne looked down and saw that he was a plain old human again. No fur. No whiskers. No strange lingering scent of soiled woodchips.

Checking his system just to be sure, he confirmed that he was fully cured.

When Wayne looked up, everyone had departed except for Luke, Fergus, and Perris.

Fergus was still a panda. He held the corked elixir in his hand.

"Something wrong?" Wayne asked.

Fergus shook his furry head and looked at Wayne with big panda bear eyes. "I am going to save mine."

"Huh? Why?"

"There was a koala and an anteater making eyes at me today. Now that I have the option to be human again, I find myself wanting to put it off for the sake of new experiences."

"New experiences?"

"At least a dozen of them."

Wayne laughed and shook his head. "On Earth, pandas were going extinct, and zoos had a hell of a time getting them to mate."

"Really?"

"Really."

Fergus wrinkled his nose. "I don't believe I'll have the same problem."

Throwing up his hands in surrender, Wayne said, "Okay! That's enough detail for me."

The old scholar patted Wayne's shoulder with a fluffy bear paw on his way off the train.

Needing a minute to shake off the many visuals wreaking havoc in his mind, Wayne spoke to the only other two people on the car. "I saw that you two started to talk a bit already, but Luke, Perris knew your father. I hope he'll be a good place to officially start your search."

"Thank you," Luke said.

"I've told both of you about the other, but I'll step out of the way and let you two decide what's next. If you need any kind of help, please let me know."

"Before you depart," Perris said, reaching into his bag, "I was going to make a nice profit on this, but I'd rather you take it as a gift for all that you've done."

Perris handed Wayne Pages of Power 29 and 30. The page was battered, wrinkled, and had a few tears, but it was in remarkably good shape relative to some of the other pages Wayne had already acquired.

Page 29 featured Sim City, two graphics expansions for Sim City, and Microsoft Flight Simulator: Aircraft & Scenery Designer. The bottom of the page had a sketch of an old wooden sled with the tag "Slide into holiday savings at EB" floating over it.

While Wayne had many fond memories of playing Sim City, both this edition as well as later installments in the series, the other side of the page quickened his heartbeat.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

All four games on page 30 were Origin titles, and they appeared to be in good enough condition for him to unlock all of them. The games included:

Bad Blood/Times of Lore Pak

Ultima VI: The False Prophet

Wing Commander

Worlds of Ultima: The Savage Empire

Wayne had never played Bad Blood, Times of Lore, or the Savage Empire, but he had poured countless hours into Ultima VI and Wing Commander. Steam didn't exist then, so he had no easy way to see how much time he had spent exactly, but he devoted at least four months of his life to each game.

"Perris…" Wayne said, still mesmerized by the page. "This is too much."

"You didn't haggle the Blizzard ring by a single gold piece, and you spared me a long life as a werefox. It's the least I can do for a business partner."

"Thank you," Wayne said, bowing his head.

Random.

Song: Skateland Sax

Artist: Captain Sinbad

Album: Reggae Music Will Mad Unu!

Genre: Dancehall

Enjoying the reggae beat, Wayne sat in his personal train car, which at this point was the default bed that came with the car and a pile of clothes he needed to wash. After seeing how useful the train was during the invasion, Wayne warmed up to the idea of going all in on customizing his space. What exactly that meant, he hadn't yet decided.

On Earth, Wayne's stuff was a reflection of his interests and passions while also being a record of the life he lived. In this world, he had not had the urge to collect or acquire, so thinking about decorating his train car was a strangely difficult task.

Sitting on the empty bed, Wayne circled Ultima VI: The False Prophet from the Page of Power Perris just gifted him, and then Days of Thunder from Page of Power 28. That wasn't a game he wanted very badly, but he found that page a while ago, and leaving it incomplete bothered him deeply. Now, he could store the page forever.

The catalog described Days of Thunder like this:

As a rookie stock car driver, you're about to go up against the greats. Experience all the engine-roaring tire-screeching action of the track in his lay-it-on-the-line contest!

Days of Thunder was a one-ability unlock, akin to Pictionary and The Games People Play.

It gave him:

Start Your Engines – If you want to get up and running really fast just to see how driving feels in Days of Thunder, just keep pressing the Start button until you find yourself looking at a single car (yours) on a track.

That gave Wayne a +1 to agility. Not exciting, but useful.

As for Ultima VI, this blurb accompanied the game in the catalog:

The sixth episode of the ULTIMA saga, enhanced with all new graphics and sound technology, takes you back to a magical Britannia to solve the mystery of the gargoyles.

The first ability he got was:

The Way of the Avatar – A paragon of integrity, you have always sought total understanding of the world around you, often journeying to the libraries of the Lycaeum or conferring with the scholars of Moonglow and Yew.

He scoured his system menus looking for anything that might have changed but came up empty. No spells, no active skills, no passive skills, no utility skills, and not even a one-time bonus–Wayne had no clue what this unlock actually did.

In the game, the player was the Avatar, a person from Earth that traveled to the land of Britannia to be a hero. Thematically, virtues were interwoven into the world with certain cities and classes associated with specific virtues, which lined up with being a "paragon of integrity," yet for all his thinking, Wayne didn't have any concrete guesses.

That was a small disappointment, but he saw that he could assign his party to learn from Ultima VI, resolving Wayne's fear that the Zeroes were going to run out of unlocks. And the timing was fortuitous. Because as of the ratman invasion, all of the Zeroes had finished maxing out Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday. Fergus was the only member of the party set to Phantasy Star II, and he unlocked Maruera Gum.

Wayne was so annoyed that Fergus got a waterbreathing ability after they fought a bunch of underwater monsters–not they, he, Wayne did it alone–that he decided one-hundred-percenting Phantasy Star II could wait. Wayne knew Ultima VI was loaded with spells, equipment, and other items that were very likely to be useful, so he set every one of the Zeroes to learn their next abilities from Ultima VI.

From gaining a level, Wayne's stat menu now read:

Hero: Wayne the Guy

Level: 24

HP: 343/343

STR: 41

AGI: 34

VIT: 24

LCK: 38

He learned another attack from Ninja Spirit that automatically dealt damage in several directions around him. He had gotten a lot of use out of Righteous Cloud, so he was excited about this one too:

Swirling Leaf - the Throwing Knife – Can be used to attack in sixteen directions. Can be thrown in succession.

His new unlock from The Secret of Monkey Island enabled him to dig rapidly:

The Digmaster – "The only shovel for serious treasure-hunting enthusiasts."

And his new ability from Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing made Wayne laugh out loud even if it only gave him another +1 to agility:

QWERTY – Charles Latham Sholes spent many hours devising the most awkward, inconvenient arrangement of the typewriter keys possible.

This was a story Wayne knew from a short-lived effort to teach himself how to type on a DVORAK keyboard. The QWERTY keyboard layout, so named because all of those letters appear in sequence on the keyboard itself, was intentionally designed to hinder fast typists. The typewriters of the time were limited in terms of responsiveness, so someone who was quick with the keys could end up botching a document through no real fault of their own.

So Sholes designed the most inconvenient keyboard possible to deliberately lower a typist's words per minute. Yes, QWERTY was meant to suck. That was the entire point of its invention.

Not yet ready to sleep despite the stress of the day, Wayne flipped through his other party members' Buck Rogers unlocks to see what they earned for reaching level 22.

Armond learned a non-lethal spell, which felt appropriate for a cleric:

Sonic Stunner – Emits a high-frequency sound that is tuned to the harmonic resonating pitch of most nervous systems. Targets of the weapon must make a saving throw or be rendered unconscious.

Hector learned a passive skill that made his attacks more accurate:

Lunarian Weapons – Are +4 to hit

Margo's new skill was the most interesting by far because it seemed to synergize with something Fergus unlocked a ways back that they weren't sure how to make useful.

The Fergus skill on Wayne's mind was:

Demolition Charges – Are blocks of plastic explosives with a short delay detonator. They can be used to blast stubborn doors.

That ability enabled Fergus to summon a block of plastic explosives and imbue them with a spell of his choosing. Then, he could activate the three-second countdown and watch the spell go off.

The drawback, however, was that only Fergus could operate the detonator. If any other member of the party had a block of spell-imbued plastic, the item may as well have been a doorstop because it provided no benefit to them whatsoever. Under those restrictions, the party didn't have any great ideas for why Fergus would carry a bunch of pre-imbued explosives if only he could use them.

Margo's unlock sounded like that was about to change:

Demolitions – Is the skill to use, place, and defuse explosive devices.

If Fergus could give Margo pre-cast spells in the form of plastic explosives, the party could employ all manner of new tactics. They could trap a hallway and lure monsters into the killzone. Margo could sneak up under the cover of stealth and lay down several traps before disappearing again. With Home Row, Margo could simply drop an explosive before she was teleported back to the start of the battle, leaving it behind for the enemy to deal with.

If Wayne was being honest, he was jealous that he didn't get the Demolitions ability, but Margo would certainly make more use of it given her rogue talents.

The party had just finished a giant battle, and Wayne couldn't wait until they had another.

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