'Even the worst shadow beast isn't bad if you know how to use it properly.'

That had been her mentality going into the ceremony.

Until she saw the boy with the spore who redefined what "worst" actually meant.

Ren Patinder.

The one who had the ACTUAL worst beast, the truly unlucky one whose fortune made hers look generous by comparison.

And Luna had realized something that hit her like a lightning strike:

'I'm not the most unlucky after all. That title belongs to him. And yet...'

The boy didn't seem to be suffering like she was despite having every reason to despair.

On the contrary, he seemed more composed than most students who'd received powerful beasts.

The day Luna had 'saved' him from Jin's bullying, Ren had seemed more firm and determined than she felt most days.

More focused on his future possibilities than past losses.

As if having the worst possible beast had only ignited something inside him instead of extinguishing his hope like it should have done to any rational person.

During Yino's first attack, when even the students with powerful beasts had frozen in terror...

Ren had helped Master Zhao fight with competence that shouldn't have been possible for a fresh Iron-rank tamer.

Luna had realized then that the "weakness" of his beast seemed to be an illusion hiding something much more substantial.

Because nobody truly weak moved with that confidence under pressure.

Nobody without power carried themselves with a certainty that suggested they knew something others didn't about strength and its sources.

And then he'd kept standing out in ways that became impossible to ignore.

Quickly advancing through ranks that should have taken years. Constantly demonstrating skills that made experienced tamers reassess their assumptions. Proving again and again that the initial judgments about his potential had been catastrophically wrong.

To the point that even Larissa and Liora, the cousins Luna genuinely respected for their strength and intelligence, started following his lead without questioning his strategies.

He'd saved her from Harold when Luna had been insufficient to defeat the villain herself.

He'd given her the celestial tiger she'd thought she'd never have, the beast that connected her to the mother she'd lost and the tradition she'd been excluded from.

And increasingly he demonstrated being different from everyone else in fundamental ways.

Genuine where others performed false authenticity.

Direct where others manipulated through layers of implication and plausible deniability.

Helping without expecting anything in return beyond basic gratitude, without keeping ledgers of favors owed that could be called in later.

Until it reached the point where Luna found herself thinking about him more often than seemed reasonable.

More times than she read the letters that had been her primary comfort.

More often than she actively thought about her mother despite years of deliberate remembering.

'WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! You're SUPPOSED to be focused on recovering the faction! On honoring MOM! NOT on a CUTE baby-faced boy you just met recently!'

But she couldn't help the thoughts that came unbidden during quiet moments.

She found herself more anxious for the next exploration in the mines or outside than for future political meetings that actually mattered for her goals.

More excited to learn some new interesting trick from Ren than to plan how to revive the Starweaver influence that had been destroyed.

Ren was melting the ice that had lived in her chest for years, thawing emotional permafrost she'd thought was permanent.

Her world was recovering the color it had lost when her mother died and everything went gray.

Smiles came more easily without having to consciously construct them. Laughter didn't feel forced like a performance for the audience. Days weren't just obligations to survive but things she genuinely looked forward to experiencing.

'He's ruining your focus. He's distracting you from what's important. He's making you forget...'

It seemed like Ren was going to heal Luna's pain finally, like maybe she could be whole again if she just let herself care about someone new.

But then Ren lost connection with his main beast in an accident, and everything shifted again.

And as even her father had finally deposited some hope in Ren, with that small hope lost in his eyes, he had spoken to Luna about the crystallized heart for the first time.

About the powerful remnant in the ruins that could be worn away through use.

About what her uncles wanted to do.

About how many uses remained before nothing was left of Lykea but an empty crystal.

And all the color had drained back to gray so fast it gave her whiplash.

Because Mom... Mom was still there somehow in ways Luna hadn't fully understood before that conversation.

Trapped in a crystal prison that wore away with each deployment.

Being used as a weapon without her consent or dignity.

Wearing down with each battle like a candle burning toward nothing.

Dying slowly for a second time while Luna had been distracted by feelings for a boy.

And Luna had fallen back into darkness so quickly it hurt, like being pulled underwater after finally reaching the surface to breathe.

All the progress with Ren, all the healing, all the color returning to her world...

Meaningless when her mother was still suffering and Luna had almost forgotten to care.

PRESENT

Now she was here in this moment that felt both eternal and fleeting.

Embracing Ren again, figuratively and literally, in the middle of the ballroom that had witnessed her slow opening over days of practice.

Having cried silently against his chest until tears ran dry.

Feeling safe and terrified simultaneously in a contradiction that made no logical sense.

'I shouldn't be here... I should let go. I should apologize for breaking pathetically. I should pretend I'm fine and return like nothing happened.'

'BUT I DON'T WANT TO LET GO!'

'I WANT TO STAY HERE FOREVER!'

'BUT THAT'S BAD BECAUSE THINGS I WANT ALWAYS LEAVE!'

The contradiction was maddening.

Wanting to escape and wanting to stay forever in the same breath.

Wanting to push Ren away for safety and wanting to pull him closer for comfort.

Wanting to be strong and independent like she'd trained herself to be, and wanting to collapse completely in these arms and let someone else carry the weight for just one moment.

'This contradiction can only happen with him.'

The realization arrived soft but certain, truth she couldn't deny even if accepting it terrified her.

With anyone else, Luna would know exactly what to do because the rules were clear. Maintain distance that protected vulnerabilities. Maintain control that prevented exploitation. Maintain the mask perfectly in place so nobody saw the chaos underneath.

But with Ren those carefully constructed rules didn't apply and never had.

The guidelines she'd followed for years became irrelevant in his presence.

From that day…

Luna accepted it because she'd known, had understood from the moment she'd seen him fighting those three idiotic first-years with determination that should have been impossible given his circumstances, that her small and carefully controlled world was going to change.

From that day…

The day she found him.

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