Aether really didn't understand what was going on with his body, and in a way… he could sense that he was the problem here. Yet Xara, ever gentle, made sure not to wound him with careless words.
She carefully shaped every sentence, every pause, making sure nothing sounded sharp enough to cut into his heart. She didn't want him to feel sad, nor to blame himself.
What Aether truly grasped was that… his body was not ordinary.
Different, uncharted—just as his Log had once declared. He was the Progenitor of a new and unknown species… which meant that any offspring born from him would be something new, something beyond the known order.
And with that revelation came the problem… the women he loved needed to have the strength, the essence, the capability to bear his child.
Which of course was not entirely impossible… but as of now, it was beyond impossible.
So… he came to understand that there was nothing inherently wrong with him, and nothing wrong with them either. But if he tried to explain this to others… he wasn't sure how they would react.
Honestly, the thought of 'Making Baby' was still a nightmare for him. No matter how much he grew, no matter how strong he became, the fear clung to him like a shadow that refused to be torn away.
It scratched at his soul, left wounds that no healing could reach.
And he was the one who suffered most, blaming himself for everything… as though he had been cursed from the very beginning.
He didn't want the ones he loved to carry that burden. Sure, his beloveds were more understanding than he ever deserved… for example, Xara, who hadn't worried about a single thing and still looked at him with unshaken trust. But… not everyone would react the same way.
Especially… Nyx.
Considering she wanted a child more than anyone else!!
And if he revealed this truth to everyone while keeping it from Nyx… that would be betrayal. Yet if he kept it from all of them entirely, that too would be betrayal… so he found himself trapped, torn between two blades.
So,
"I didn't hear anything," Aether finally said, his voice calm as he sat down with a composed expression, as if sealing the matter inside his heart.
Xara blinked for a moment, confused by his words. Her head tilted slightly as she tried to catch his meaning… but Aether gave her silence, time to piece it together herself. She wasn't a fool... And just as he expected, her eyes widened in sudden realisation.
She gave a small nod, lips curling in a faint smile as she answered softly, "Yup, I didn't test anything."
Aether's lips curved in a soft smile, a rare warmth breaking through his solemn face. He leaned forward and kissed her lips.
Xara's cheeks flushed pink, her body shivering under his touch. Then, suddenly, his fingers brushed against her bare nipples and pinched them without warning, making her flinch with a startled gasp.
"Ah—!" She pouted in embarrassment, shoving him back before immediately hiding those tender spots behind the cursed veil of clothes once again. Her face burned, but her eyes glimmered with flustered fire.
Leaving that aside…
Aether's gaze darkened, brows furrowing as he whispered, "So my inside is empty… a being that never should have lived…" His voice trailed into a hum, low and thoughtful.
His Log had mentioned that he already knew the truth, but until now, he had not grasped even the basics of what his body truly was.
Was this the reason why Iteration No. 27, and even No. 25, had said that the current Aether was different—special?
Wait… come to think of it… didn't the Log mention something about the fate of his beloveds being balanced by his nectar?
Did that mean… his current body was the only vessel capable of stealing fate itself and redistributing it—balancing destiny—by offering nectar to his beloveds?
It was making sense, right?
Even if it made sense, something was still bugging him… he had died… well, had he really died?
"Yeah, I didn't die," Aether muttered in a shocked tone, the words slipping from his lips before he could stop them.
Xara blinked, her expression twisting into confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I mean… I died." Aether nodded, though his voice carried hesitation. He tried to recall anything he knew before that moment of death, but his memory felt like a blank page for almost an hour or so. There was only a vague sensation—like the movements of something being taken from his body, piece by piece.
Xara tilted her head slightly as she thought aloud, muttering, "Wait a second… the moment of death is the moment the brain is lost. That means… your brain wasn't dead until all of your body parts were taken out."
Aether raised his eyebrows, narrowing his gaze. "So… I died after everything was taken out? Which means… arrh… I don't get it. Even if the body was dead and had lost its parts… this here is fine, right?" He gestured at his own body, frustration flickering in his eyes.
Xara raised her eyebrows in return, tapping her shoulder as her face scrunched in thought. "That's why I said… it may be a replica… or a mirror?" She wasn't certain—her words were no more than a hypothesis.
Something she needed proof to confirm.
"Mirror?" Aether frowned, tilting his head.
"I mean… what if both this Aether and that Aether were actually one? Both body and soul," she explained, her voice soft but threaded with thought.
"After all, it's impossible to accommodate a soul that already occupies a space into another body, right?" Her expression wavered, confused yet deeply thoughtful, as though she was trying to grasp something just beyond her reach.
And indeed, she was close. She was circling the very thing that had been bugging him as well.
However, when she mentioned both body and soul, Aether's frown deepened.
After all… Nyx.
Nyx, with only half a soul, had wanted another soul suitable for her body to adjust and survive.
A soul that adjusts to her body... that means... the soul had shapes.
Because you cannot simply take a soul and shove it into another body.
That was impossible. That was the reason she had found Nightfire—a soul compatible enough to fit into the space she carried.
If she had wanted, she could have taken other souls. There were plenty. But she had wanted one particular soul… which meant his own soul was impossible to simply put into another different body as well.
It was kind of making sense, wasn't it?
If that was the case… not only his soul, but his body too was transferred?
"Wait a second!" Xara suddenly flinched, her eyes widening as she looked at him with a hurried, almost panicked gaze.
"What?" Aether frowned... It seemed she had realized something.
Xara swallowed hard,
"When you first came to me… your strength was… practically negative, right?
That was utterly impossible for any being to have!
Even if you're an irregular, having negative strength is… and much more—your body was so weak.
Not that I minded… but still, you were so thin, so fragile, so—"
Aether's frown deepened further as Xara's words tumbled out, her expression slowly twisting into something unstable, her thoughts spiraling into the edges of madness.
"So what if… I mean, what if… your negative strength here means… your body parts too must have been shared?
If that's the case… it explains why you were so weak and negative at that time."
Aether blinked, slowly catching the meaning of her words. But then,
"However, I came back, right? Then shouldn't I have regained regular strength as soon as possible?"
He asked sharply, his brows furrowing. At the same time, his mind raced, trying to recall all the iterations… Had he ever seen them start from negative strength and climb upward?
….
No?
Aether shook his head. He hadn't seen everything. Some senses had been cut, some visions skipped—fragments lost as if by deliberate design.
There were reasons for those gaps, he felt, but still… he had never seen any of his iterations move from negative to positive strength.
Xara muttered in an amused tone,
"Because you didn't have parts in your body when you returned. That's why you had negative strength. And only when you invested the points into your strength… your body started to absorb the arcane energy from the surroundings, and… it began to process like real body parts. Which explains every single fucking thing… ahaha!" She chuckled, almost delighted, as though she had stumbled onto a truth she never thought she would uncover.
Aether, on the other hand, frowned but nodded to himself. So that meant… the Aether from Earth, and the Aether from the Naiadae Empire… both shared a connection, not only in soul but also in body?
Come to think of it… sometimes, Mother called him.
'H—'
And then something cut it off, deliberately… leaving only that broken sound. So the 'H' was… Hollow?
She knew he was Hollow?
Was he different from others because of that?
Then why was that the only thing carried here… and what about his infertility?
Something didn't add up. He was missing pieces to understand the whole picture. And asking his Log… didn't seem like a viable option anymore.
'Tsk. Useless.'
[HMPH! I am doing what I can, you know! 😠]
Aether shook his head, exhaling sharply. He knew his Log had countless restrictions, but that wasn't the problem—the problem was that the Log had said he already knew. Which meant… he did fucking know something.
But he couldn't connect it!
Anyway… there was no point in thinking deeper right now. He needed to focus on the immediate. The energies threatening to unravel everything weren't going to wait for his answers.
Xara had said she needed time to create the serum… yet time was the one thing he didn't have.
He needed to speak with the other rulers… to decide what must be done.
A lot of things were happening right now, and he needed to deal with a mountain of shit.
He needed to make sure his beloveds' bodies could accept his love… which would surely require a great deal of research, trial, and failure. It wasn't something he could just gamble on.
'Hmm… what if I just make them my kin?' he thought with a frown. After all, he had managed to do it with Snape, hadn't he?
Without hesitation, Aether asked directly, "Tell me… what if I changed you all into my kin—sharing my blood with you?"
Xara hummed softly, then shrugged as if it were the simplest truth in the world.
"We will die first."
Aether's eyes twitched. His lips parted, but no words came out. Only a heavy sigh left him.
Yup... They would die first.
His blood was far too dangerous to sustain life in another's body. Even Snape hadn't been able to endure it for more than five minutes.
"So… what would be the right way?" he muttered, frowning deeper.
Xara tilted her head and hummed again, her voice calm but thoughtful. "I'm not sure. But… I heard from Mary that vampires are able to change others using their blood."
Aether raised his eyebrows at that. Of course, he knew about that. "But my blood is dangerous—unlike vampires."
Xara shook her head, meeting his gaze firmly. "No. She had a primordial bloodline, which was just as dangerous. Yet… she managed to pass it on to her daughter."
Aether's eyes shifted aside, narrowing.
Xara continued, "I think she might have a way to share blood with others... maybe she could help you to understand blood."
"…" Aether blankly stared at her.
Did that mean… he had to ask that bitch?
No way!!
The last thing she would ever do was help him.
But still… if there truly was a way, then…
"Hmmm." Aether hummed, thoughtful.
Not a bad idea. But the person in question… was rotten to the core.
Just then—
/ Aether, you need to see this! /
Suddenly, Raven's urgent tone echoed in his mind.
_________
[Author's Note: As I mentioned before, I'm going through some personal issues, so I wasn't able to do much... Forgive me for the late update.]
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