Xia Liang had just reached the gate and hadn't had time to announce himself when a woman with a red armband suddenly stormed out, shouting. If not for his quick reflexes, he might have almost reflexively sent a roundhouse kick her way.

"I'm looking for someone."

Xia Liang was a bit baffled.

"Looking for someone? Plenty of people come here looking for someone. Yours is the lamest excuse of them all," the old woman said with contempt. "Kid, wooing girls takes some effort. If I were your girlfriend, I'd have dumped you for sure."

Seeing the wrinkles on the woman's face, crisscrossing like the shell of a walnut, Xia Liang nearly threw up last night's dinner.

Auntie, please don't get me wrong. I really have no intentions toward you.

Xia Liang managed a patient smile. "I'm here to see Tian Yuanyuan from dorm 438."

The old woman scoffed, pointing outside the gate. "See all those males out there? Ninety-nine percent of them are here for Yuanyuan. I take back what I said before. You're not just using a lame excuse; you're completely clueless."

Xia Liang was at a loss for words. "How can I be the same as them? Tian Yuanyuan is my girlfriend. Is it a crime to visit my own girlfriend?"

The old woman let out a theatrical laugh. "Young man, I admire your guts, but whether you're Yuanyuan's boyfriend or not, you can read, can't you? The sign says no men allowed. Now off you go, don't keep me from my dramas," she urged repeatedly.

Xia Liang had, of course, read the sign, but the men's dormitory entrance had an identical one. A sign that said, 'No women allowed.' So how was it that every day, dolled-up vixens, sometimes alone and sometimes in groups, paraded over for a tour?

Do men have better character than women? Is it safe for a girl to enter a men's dorm, but a guy risks getting ganged up on if he enters a women's dorm?

With no other choice, Xia Liang could only walk back out the gate. The surrounding beasts looked at him with expressions that seemed to say, 'Looks like your attempt to act cool failed, huh?'

"Mate, got a light?"

A handsome young man with a small braid sauntered over. Xia Liang handed him a lighter.

"The menopausal Old Lady Wang didn't let you in?" the braided young man chuckled.

Xia Liang rolled his eyes. "You guessed it. I'd heard people from the Imperial Capital were arrogant, but I never expected even the gatekeeper to be so full of herself."

"Actually, it wasn't always this hard to get into the girls' dorm," the braided man said, touching his nose. "You used to be able to get in just by calling her 'Sister Wang' and bringing a small gift. As long as no one saw, she'd let you in. It's just that this year's batch of freshmen has a superstar in it."

"Tian Yuanyuan?" Xia Liang said, feeling a sense of helplessness.

The braided man nodded vigorously. "Exactly. She's not just the goddess of otaku, but a lot of older men and women are crazy about her too. If Old Lady Wang just let people in willy-nilly, it'd be a disaster, wouldn't it?"

That makes sense. It seems I misjudged Old Lady Wang.

"I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Lian Heng, a second-year psychology student. Judging by your looks, you must be a freshman."

Xia Liang shook his head. "I'm not a student here. I just came to see my girlfriend."

Lian Heng shot him a lecherous glance and nudged him with his elbow. "Nice one, bro. The Shangjing Music Department is famous for its beauties. You're a lucky man. Hey! Quick, look, another fool is making his move."

The next second, four large pickup trucks parked neatly by the small grove of trees. Numerous men in blue work uniforms got out.

"Excuse us, coming through! Don't block the way."

Xia Liang wasn't happy about being pushed and was about to say something, but Lian Heng pulled him aside.

"This country bumpkin is probably here to propose."

"If he's proposing, then let's not interfere."

It's better to tear down a temple than to ruin a marriage.

In just a few minutes, countless roses and candles had been arranged into a heart shape outside the gate. It was evening, but the sky had not yet grown completely dark. A handsome man in a sharp suit stood before the candles, holding a bouquet of blue roses and occasionally glancing at a small note card.

After taking a deep breath, he crooked a finger, and someone immediately handed him a pink megaphone.

"Ah~ The one who can't bear to let you go is me, ah~ The one who can't stay away from you is me, the one who worries for you is me, the one who can't forget you is me... The one who can't get enough of you is..."

With a confession so cringeworthy it was practically radioactive, the handsome man's voice carried far into the distance, attracting waves of onlookers.

There were plenty of guys who came to confess their love below the girls' dorm, some with grand displays, and some who were even bigger idiots. But someone who combined all three was a rare sight indeed.

"If I were that girl, I'd probably be looking for a brick to bash my head in right now," Lian Heng said, laughing so hard he doubled over. "He's clearly nouveau riche, no doubt about it. No matter how polished they look on the outside, they expose themselves the moment they open their mouths."

The lines are a bit cliché, but the emotion behind them is real enough. Xia Liang didn't see a huge problem with it; confessing your feelings required a certain degree of shamelessness.

The crowd of onlookers had already started recording videos. A confession from one of Shangjing University's elite was a hot topic.

"Ah! I love you!"

SPLASH!

Just as the confession was continuing, a basin of foot-washing water came pouring down. Luckily, the tacky-but-handsome guy dodged just in time.

"Hahahaha! This fucking idiot is killing me..." Lian Heng laughed until he was nearly out of breath, slapping his thigh as he leaned on Xia Liang's shoulder for support.

The tacky suitor, however, had his pride. He wouldn't stoop to the level of a girl who would pour dirty water on him. But it was different when it came to other men. He had stayed up for nights agonizing over these few lines; he couldn't let some fly ruin the mood.

"Get lost. Go back to where you came from while I'm not in the mood to deal with you," the suitor said, looking coldly at Lian Heng.

"Oh? Pretty arrogant, aren't you? Neither the university administration nor the student council has said a thing about me hanging around here. Who the hell do you think you are?"

To Xia Liang's surprise, Lian Heng's reaction was incredibly firm, a stark contrast to his somewhat slender build.

The tacky suitor waved his hand, and several menacing-looking men started walking toward them. "I'll give you one more chance. Leave."

Xia Liang shrugged. He didn't want to cause trouble. It would be better to just come back after the farce was over. He grabbed Lian Heng and started to walk away.

"What's wrong, bro, you scared? If they dare to try anything, we shouldn't hold back." Lian Heng tried to turn back, but Xia Liang held him fast.

"Why lower yourself to the level of some nouveau riche? Come on, let's go. I'll buy you ice cream."

Seeing Xia Liang's insistence, Lian Heng didn't argue further. It was their first meeting, but he felt they were both decent people.

"The one who loves you most is me, it's me, it's still me! Yuanyuan, please accept my sincere love..."

Xia Liang spun around 180 degrees and walked straight toward the tacky suitor.

"Hey, Brother Xia, where are you going?"

"Where am I going?" Xia Liang sneered. "Someone's trying to steal This Master's girl. Where do you think I'm going?"

"This..." Lian Heng froze for a second, his expression changing to one of shock. "Volodya! No wonder you looked familiar! You're that Didi driver!"

Xia Liang didn't waste time on chit-chat and walked straight over.

"The one who loves your voice the most is me, the one who loves your dancing the most is me, the one who loves your face the most is... is me, it's me, it's still..."

Just as the tacky suitor was reaching the most passionate part of his speech, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see one of the two "flies" from before, and his expression immediately darkened.

"Just a quick question," Xia Liang said with a smile. "There are a lot of people in this world with the same name, so I just want to confirm: who is this 'Yuanyuan' you're talking about?"

The tacky suitor sneered. "Of course, it's the superstar goddess, Tian Yuanyuan. Who else could it be? Or rather, who else is worthy of my pursuit?"

Should I punch him? It would feel good, but it might cause trouble for his girl. Then again, if I don't punch him, I can barely control my fists.

Just then, Lian Heng strolled over with a grin. He looked at the tacky suitor. "You've got some nerve. Forget about the ordinary students, I can see you've got some means, like a walking ATM. But didn't you know that our junior, Yuanyuan, already has a boyfriend?"

"Rumors! Teacher Dandan always said that a celebrity without rumors can hardly be called a celebrity. I don't mind if the goddess Yuanyuan has a few Schrödinger's boyfriends," the tacky suitor said confidently.

Lian Heng was speechless. After a glance at Xia Liang's face, he continued, "Well, have you heard of Feng Pojun?"

The tacky suitor brushed Xia Liang's hand off his shoulder, ready to continue his offensive of love.

Lian Heng shook his head and sighed. "He really is just some nouveau riche. Brother Xia, you can make your move now."

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