"And you? How will time change you?"
Yurong's question surprised Li Yan as well. He hadn't expected Yurong to ask something like this. It was essentially a way of probing his thoughts on their future together!
Li Yan pulled the car over to the side and stopped. Since such a serious question was being discussed, it was necessary to have a serious attitude as well. The environment and atmosphere were very important.
"Yurong, what you need is not how time will change me, or how time will change you, but in the future, how you want to change, and how you want me to change!" Li Yan answered seriously.
Seeing Yurong stunned, seemingly unable to comprehend his words, Li Yan smiled a little, "Perhaps what I said sounds a bit pretentious. To put it simply, it's about what you live for—whether you live for yourself. Take our relationship, for example. In this, you've been completely passive. You married me, someone you've never met or known, for your father's wishes. But then? For a long time, we didn't get along well, and your father's health has improved significantly. Theoretically, he can handle some shocks.
Yet you haven't done so; you continue to silently maintain the status quo, living under the same roof with me, someone you don't like. Of course, our relationship has changed, and now I'm different from before for you. New problems have appeared; your parents want a grandchild, trying to push you, or rather, want you to have a child soon. But that's not the life you want, at least not now—ha! It's pure nonsense, as both of us can't possibly have a child like this.
But what about your attitude? If my estimate is correct, if your parents mention it enough times, you might agree out of filial piety, choosing to give yourself to me, reluctantly living with me, thinking of muddling through. Then you have a child, and maybe they have more demands in the future, like having another child. Imagine just letting it happen again…
Your life would be like this, your future would be like this! And I, in your life, am not just me, or perhaps just a stand-in. It could be me or perhaps someone else instead, because you live not for yourself, but for filial piety to your parents. You're making yourself muddle through! You haven't thought about what you need for yourself."
Li Yan spoke a lot in one breath, leaving Yurong wide-eyed, quickly processing his words. Fortunately, she was a genius with great intelligence, but her emotional intelligence was relatively weak. These kinds of things she found hard to untangle herself, but when Li Yan laid them out, she could quickly absorb and understand.
"You mean I've been living for my parents all this time?"
"For others! Of course, saying it this way may sound a bit heartless. Strictly speaking, parents are two among the 'others.' Perhaps you feel like you can do anything for them now, but if you marry me, fully commit to me, and even have children because of them, then someday you might live for me, and someday for our children. In all of this, you haven't considered your own needs."
Li Yan held her hand, squeezed it hard, and laughed softly, "But you fool, have you ever thought about it? Do your parents need you to live for them? What they want is to see you happy! When your father's life was hanging by a thread, he was thinking about finding you a support, seeing you having a support before he could rest assured. But what about us? We've been putting on a show to reassure them, showing off our love, giving them the wrong impression that you're living happily. So they keep pushing and getting involved. Actually, they want a grandchild not just for their own legacy, but also for young couples to be more loving. How does a child come about? It's manufactured! And while we enjoy the process of making one, it inevitably brings people closer."
Yurong spat light-heartedly, "What are you saying!"
"I'm telling the truth. Although maybe the older generation didn't think this way, the shared thinking has subtly aligned over the generations. If a child only strained relationships, with so many bad examples, no one would follow this path. It shows that most people grow closer because of it."
"Really? I don't know…" Yurong avoided eye contact, as the two hadn't reached that point yet.
"Here's the question then: right now, are you living for yourself or for your parents? You're still passive! To put it another way, in your work, your absolute strength lies in it. You can arrange things correctly, confidently, and calmly. For instance, you can strategically arrange positions for me to gradually reach your goals. The same goes for any company aspects. But in life, you let other powers drive and influence you, never actively choosing yourself.
For example, as a strong woman, you shouldn't be wondering what I will become in the future. You should be wondering about the kind of man you like and what you'd expect of your husband! Right now, I can say I've been pursuing you from early on, but you're confused and passive. Because you never thought about what kind of man or husband you want, you simply accept passively after being moved by my interactions with you or occasionally being touched by what I do. If you had your goal, you'd choose proactively. For instance, if you don't like me picking my nose, and I happen to have that habit, you'd directly pass it if I don't change. But now, you'd slowly tolerate it!"
Listening to Li Yan, Yurong felt there was some truth to what he said. Although he never put effort into proper work, he seemed to find some reason in his flawed logic. However, the disgusting analogy of nose-picking brought back his newly elevated image to its original state.
"Sounds quite sensical, but…" Yurong seemed to have lightened up a lot, losing some of her previous confusion, "…but doesn't it make you seem like a selfish person? Aren't you worried it might affect how I see you?"
Li Yan shrugged, "I've always been selfish. Did you only realize that now? Just take the 2 million debt you asked me to chase yesterday. If the company boss wasn't my wife, I'd be reluctant to bother with it, just let it drag on. Let the legal department or lawyers handle it. So what if it costs more? So what if we can't retrieve it? What's it got to do with me?"
"Bragger!" Yurong pouted as if not believing his words.
"Think whatever you want, I'm already used to it. In my eyes, haha, I'm the most important. Of course, I've changed a bit now. Like, you're very important to me too."
Looking at Li Yan's smiling face, Yurong sighed, "Do you think you can just act carefree and pass yourself off as a selfish person? Truly selfish people don't go around flaunting it. If not for filial piety, with your lazy nature, would you come back? Would you endure half a year of cold treatment? Comparing, you're more of a sincere person, more of a filial person, still doing it for my parents! When you have no feelings for me, yet every week you have to pretend to be very loving to please my parents, would anyone concern only with themselves persist for half a year consistently?"
Li Yan broke a sweat. It wasn't all that much after all, saying half a year, maybe just over twenty nights. "Heh… You make me sound so great, now I feel a bit floaty, like I'm on cloud nine."
"Li Yan," Yurong said seriously, "In this matter, even if you're not great, you're already very rare. I've always felt that even if we separated, what you did for my parents is something I owe you."
Seeing her getting serious again, Li Yan quickly said, "Well then, it's best that we don't separate, so yours is mine, and mine is still mine, haha, then there's nothing to owe or not owe!"
"..."
After his words, Yurong felt suddenly enlightened. She gazed ahead, declaring determinedly, "I decide to understand your words well, to care more about myself and strive for what I want rather than accept passively from now on!"
Li Yan still held her hand, slightly squeezing it to encourage her.
"But I don't quite understand why you would tell me directly? No one has ever told me this before. You could have easily deceived me when I was unclear and naive, yet you tell me so bluntly. Now I am alert—you, with a big wolfish tail, will surely have no chance!" Yurong smiled slightly.
"Because… I like to see your clear, bright smile, not a confused one." Li Yan also smiled. It's precisely what he meant!
"Ah?" Yurong was a bit surprised.
"Uh…no, I should put it in more noble terms. I'm actually a noble person, I won't deceive innocent girls. What I want is not just your body but your soul. Right, so I'm not tricking you, I want you to see clearly and not regret following me in the future. Right, I've always been this noble!"
"You scoundrel, you selfish rogue!" Yurong laughed and scolded.
(Additional chapter 490! Asking for a Monthly Pass!) (To be continued, for more on how things unfold, please visit www.qidian.com to support the author and read the original!)
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