Alexia retreated to her family's chambers depleted. Between pretending to not be repulsed by Halius as he paraded her around, Queen Hellena's passive-aggressive remarks, Azi stranding her to spend time with Leoquo, Sir Garrond's cold demeanor and his rigid safety plan, and the tension between her and her father as she delivered her report to him, Garrond, and Halius, she was ready to hide in a cave for the next few days.

She pursued the best self-soothing stratagems in her book. Alexia gave herself a warm bath, channeling Dalis's waters to fill the family tub and then heating the water with Seraxa. Yet, her problems continued to intrude on her relaxation time. She had to keep up her appearances with Halius, but betray his trust and go to the Mahogany Isles. She had to secure pardons for the Redeemed Men, then ask them to follow her into immense danger. She had to save as many of the two-hundred-thousand Mahagans as she could, but would inevitably leave behind many. She had to face off against armies of Tamed that would try to kill everyone around her and capture her. She had to venture into a trap, or else an entire nation of people would be exterminated. Atop this all, she believed her sworn shield hated her, and that reminded her of Maleon Stonebreaker and his betrayal.

Let us not forget that she felt at conflict with her father, who had sent her across the border with Maleon and tried to throw her into Halius's arms. But, wait, there was more! She also had to stop the impending mega-conflict in Mirrevar between Ruby and Sapphire and bind together two nations that have been at war for the vast majority of seven centuries so they could survive against an army that swelled its numbers with beasts, in a nation where wild, unclaimed lands were vast, with likely ten times as many tamers as the full population of Leveria, and shadows, and lightseers, and men with powerful bodies descended of the Gidiite Empire. But first, she had to convince kings and archlords that these monsters were coming when they had every incentive to choose denial over acceptance of catastrophic truth.

Sadly, Alexia had the worst hot bath of her life as her mind tormented her with looking forward. She wished she weren't so alone. Instead of giving her the strength she needed to face her long list of trials or driving away tomorrow's worries with today's passions, Zander had been left behind in Mirrevar with a broken heart. Her mother was in Ross, celebrating the bonding of the Herons and the Daravons. Her father wasn't the man that would shelter her, but the steward pushing her into the trials she faced. Azi was busy with Leoquo Mahagan, falling in love with a man whose heart would forever be claimed by a dead woman. Theos Stormkin was the only person she could think of that might answer her call, but it would be hard to reach him with Halius forbidding her from leaving Saphirhold courtesy of the Celegans trying to claim her as their empress.

She dried herself off with a blending of Zafrir's wind and Seraxa's heat, blowing hot air at herself. Alexia warmed her fluffy ermine coat, knowing that it was too heavy for the humid summer night but only caring about the comfort of some warmth against her body. She craved Zander, and wanted him now more than she had in any moment since she left Mirrevar. Instead, she would have to settle for a coat.

Alexia was weary but aware that if she tried to sleep now, her mind would continue to spiral in a whirlpool of anxiety. She sought her escape at the family bookshelf. Her mother's work-in-progress stared at her, but she refused to focus on herself now. She thumbed through the shelf, feeling overwhelmed with options that wouldn't bring her satisfactory comfort. She knew it would be hard to focus on fictional fantasies but reality was too real right now. Her mind went in the middle, gripping for real fantasies. Her immense hunger for Zander overwhelmed her body and she was bombarded with recurring images of him pressed against her. Alexia left behind the family bookshelf and retreated to her bed to indulge herself the best she could. After emerging from beneath her bedding, she was still starving. Her time alone felt but a brief appetizer that had only reminded her that she could eat but did nothing to sate the hunger.

Her mind raced again with disturbing thoughts, with fears that she wouldn't be strong enough to face tomorrow. Alexia sought her spellbook collection. She ran her hands along the row of thick books full of descriptions of cognitive focuses and the sentiments used to harness the divine energy to make them reality. Alexia had read these spells thousands of times, trying to master her abilities. They were old friends, and right now they were the best company she could have. Alexia claimed the most advanced spellbook ever published, written by Linus Peacemaker, containing pages of spells that only two people in history could utilize. Alexia carried the Great Wizard with her, needing his support now to face the events that would define her era. Steadying her breath, she found her place on the family sofa, then covered her lap with a soft blanket.

Alexia immersed herself in the spells, focusing on the emotions needed to harness the divine energy required and practicing forming the images in her mind. This strenuous mental exercise succeeded in both forcing her mind out of anxiety's clutches and in preparing herself for the trials ahead. Alexia felt a deep satisfaction with herself, as her prowess at cognitive-affectomancy fueled her confidence. Evening shifted to night, and she lost herself in the flow of channeling divine energy, feeling the power of gods and goddesses course through her body. Thus, was the room frigid from her channeling Seraxa's heat and the air dry and still from simultaneously holding Dalis and Zafrir when footsteps echoed in the stairwell and the door into their family room swung open.

"My dearly beloved," her father decreed. He opened his arms and moved toward her.

Alexia shuddered from the cold. She released the divine energy. The aftereffects of channeling ever-changing emotion, burning passion, and a soothing calm left her spinning like a bottle, unsure of where her heart would point in the coming moments. When Eron Bluerose wrapped his arms around her, she felt the memories of love and his protection cut through the tension and wash it away like warm water. The bottle stopped spinning on Dalis's calmness. Alexia closed the embrace, though she couldn't close out the nagging thoughts of what her father had put her through or what support she needed to ask him for.

Her father pulled back, taking a seat on the sofa beside her. Eron Bluerose set his sunrise seers on hers. He was an eminently handsome man: clean-shaven, styled chestnut-brown hair, well-dressed, decorated with gold and silver jewelry, his tanner Kavovan skin tone darker than her own mixed-race complexion, and possessed of a slender and physically fit build. Ione Bluerose was envied by other women in Sapphirica's high society for more than her own easy beauty. Alexia had overheard other women, plenty of them bonded, that it made no sense for someone as handsome and charismatic as the Royal Steward to have settled with such a quiet, unadorned bookworm for a wife.

"You did something amazing today," he told her, setting a hand on her thigh. "Getting Halius to support the Mahogany Isles will change the course of our world, and the steering of that course is yours, Alexia."

Alexia looked ahead, avoiding the sight of her father's adoration. Her calmness started to crack. She had excused herself before her father could respond to her report and one of her nagging thoughts was what it would be like if he doubted her claims that the Celegans had tried to attack her twice. "Then you believe me? You believe that the Tamers plan to invade Leveria?"

There was no pause in her father's response nor even the faintest hint of doubt. "I trust you. Always." Eron ran his hand through her hair. "Your word is all I will ever need to believe." He grinned. "But I would also need to be a blind fool to account for a lightseer ogre as anything but tamed." He placed his hand on Alexia's cheek, softly as a feather landing. "I will never doubt the conclusions drawn from a mind as intelligent and a heart as pure as yours, my daughter. You are true magic. Trust yourself. Always."

Alexia shook. She kept the tears at bay. Her father's implicit belief in her meant everything. She knew she would have to convince many people about the validity of the Celegan attacks, but her father would use his far more polished and persuasive voice to assist. Perhaps, just perhaps, he was still the same man that sought her out when she hid in the Grand Library so she wouldn't be alone and scared. She wasn't ready to look at him, knowing that her emotions couldn't sustain the sight, but she reached toward him all the same. "I need your help."

"And you shall have it," he assured, patting her shoulder. "What do you need?"

Alexia inhaled, held, and exhaled. She wouldn't break her promises to the Redeemed Men, but others could. "I need pardons for a group of men who serve as my personal guard."

Her father pulled his hand away. His body hardened, the tension between them returning. "I will need their names and a detailed list of their crimes, Alexia."

Alexia folded her arms over her chest, not savoring the bite in her father's tone. "You shall have them after I have word that you will do as I ask."

Her father's affront chilled her. "You doubt me?"

How couldn't I? she thought. After what she had been through the past year. From Vulcan to Mirrevar to Ferrickton to Halius. Every step of the way she'd been set on the path by her father. She didn't know where the Royal Steward ended and her father began. She didn't doubt the father who believed in her, but the Royal Steward who orchestrated the things she had to do.

Alexia leaned away from him, gazing toward the window. Silence was as much of an answer as she would give, but it spoke as loud as any word.

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Eron sighed, shook his head once, his crestfallen glance conveying the wound he took from her silence. Alexia felt sadness at his pain, but it wasn't enough to dull the pain of what she had endured, and her anger toward the man who had sent her there.

"Daughter, I need enough to craft these pardons in a way that no archlord will challenge them and need to know how severe the crimes are so I can present them in a manner where Halius will sign his name to them." His explanation made sense, but Alexia found herself unable to trust. A part of her hated that she left her father out, but the depression caused by the gaping wound in her heart was deep. She felt herself numbing as she vanished from the room mentally.

"I cannot believe that you could imagine me acting against you. You know I am as much the spymaster as the royal steward. If I had it in me to hurt you like that…" Eron gasped out a sob, then reined himself in. Her father's pain made her shake with stifled cries, but that empathy didn't change her mind.

Her father scrambled to persuade her of his trustworthiness. "I knew you returned to Sapphirica before you reached Saphirhold. I knew you were coming home with former bandits before you arrived at the Forest Gate. I already knew of how you healed hundreds in a few angles in Mirrevar, of how you inspired the people of Maypine with your heartfelt words, of how you read your letter at the Little Bridge. I even knew that you traded the task of vanquishing these men for Eton Pinarus's promise to reinforce Mirrevar. I know they are led by a man named Erlos, a Sentinel deserter, and that the thirteen of them are staying in the tenements near the Carpenter's Guild with a lumber caravan from Maypine formerly owned by a man named Calden of Maypine." His final sentence was delivered with raw, chafing pain. "Worst of all, I know that you do not extend me the same trust I will always give you."

His convincingly heartfelt litany further convinced her that he couldn't be trusted. How could she trust a man who left so much unsaid on a given basis? How could she ever trust him fully after Ferrickton? For the first time in days, she didn't wear her robes, but she instinctively reached for the pocket where Allison's doll was kept.

Alexia's intensity grew with each word, chaining from barely a whisper to a vengeful shout. "Forgive me for hesitating to trust the man who sent me on a mission to do evil things with a man who tried to get me killed. Twice! Forgive me for not trusting a man who would exchange my freedom so that his grandchildren might be princes and princesses. Forgive me for not trusting the man who would do these things to his own daughter, when he knew how she felt about the war and her betrothed!"

Eron Bluerose tried to cradle his daughter in his arms, like she was still the innocent girl that had last left Sapphirica. Well, he could be credited for the mistrusting woman who returned home to him. Alexia shoved him aside and darted into her room, slamming the door behind her with a flick of her hand and a blast of wind. She screamed, the wind thrashed about in her room, tearing off the hangings on her bed, and tossing aside her two wardrobes, her jewelry chest, her bookshelf, and sending the mirror crashing to the ground, breaking upon the fall. Cracks formed in her window and the Ring of Peace glowed green on her finger. Seeing the light gleaming off that ring, the gift Halius had given her, most likely instructed by her father, renewed her agony. Her screams gave air to the resentment that had been digging a hole in her heart since the day she last left Sapphirica. Huffing, she curled onto her bed and wrapped herself in her pillows. Her fingers clung to the soft fabric as she released her anger by clawing at something that she couldn't hurt and wouldn't hurt her.

The door in the common room was thrown open. Garrond's voice reached into her room. For once it was not chill, but hot-blooded and protective. "What have you done to her?"

Her father took his time to respond. "I let her down." The evidence of his tears was plain in the brokenness of his usually smooth voice. "I thought I had sent her closer to Paradise. Instead, I shoved her headlong into Hell."

The Dust's voice reverted back to its usual flatness. "Is she in danger?"

She didn't hear her father's response above her own uncontrolled shrieking. Alas, attuned to Zafrir as she was, she felt the flow of air change as Garrond sealed the door. Having satisfied the terms of his safety plan, he'd return to the chambers he'd taken from Eron Bluerose's head scribe on the floor just below them, closest to the stairs since Eron refused to give him a room within his quarters. The Dust hadn't fought him for it either.

Alexia alternated between mournful shrieks stemming from the loss of trust she had in her father because of the Royal Steward and pained whimpers of needing him. She tried to plan what to do, to bring order to the chaos of pain she felt. She needed to fulfill her promise to the Redeemed Men. And she'd rather use her father for this than ask for more from Halius on her own. Also, her father knew everything already. If he was going to betray her, it made no difference if she offered her trust first.

He must've sensed this, knowing that she would come to this conclusion after her emotions were balanced with his beloved logic. The Bluerose sat with his hands folded together, eyes on her door when she emerged. He looked hurt, eyes down and slumping uncharacteristically. His sigh cut into her heart.

Alexia held her door handle, ready to flee.

"I would like to explain myself," her father muttered, his voice dejected.

Alexia didn't want to hear his excuses, but she couldn't voice that without letting the resentment out of its fragile cage.

Eron Bluerose assumed her silence for consent. "I did not send you to Ferrickton with Maleon Stonebreaker scheming that you would have been traumatized." He broke into tears, his voice a stream of sorrow. "I wish I could always protect you from every evil in this world. I wish that I had been wise enough to foresee what happened to you. I wish I could take it back, Alexia." He wiped at his eyes, then met hers. "I had hoped that you could learn much from him and that you could win his heart to your dream of peace. As great as you are, I know you need strong allies, and I saw him as the strongest. I…" Eron sighed.

Alexia gripped the door as hard as she could, and still, that would've only been a fragment of how hard she gripped to his words.

"I dreamt that seeing how the Ruby people live would only strengthen your dream. I knew that both the Love Queen and the Peacemaker had two advantages that you did not. They were familiar with the people that opposed them, and had learned to love them, and they only conjured Pacisamorus for the first time in Mirrevar. I had hoped that your time in Mirrevar and amongst the Ruby would give you what you needed to reforge the Great Peace. Instead, I sent you into Zamael's Hells. And you hate me for it."

Alexia's grip on her door loosened, but she didn't let go. She wanted to tell him that she didn't hate him, but she couldn't force the words through. She could see, through his eyes, that he had thought her mission would propel her closer to her dream. "You underestimated Maleon and overestimated me."

Eron frowned at her. "I miscalculated Maleon Stonebreaker, and that will haunt me until my last breath. But never will I believe that I overestimated you, Alexia. Never. You did the absolute best anyone could have done in the situation I sent you to. You," his lips twitched, his eyes bled tears, "cannot be overestimated."

Alexia gripped at her chest, biting down to keep from bursting into tears. Her eyes strained with the effort, as weary as they were from all the intense feelings of the last few moons. This was her father as she had always known him, but the way he hid his intentions from her condemned his explanations. The loving girl and the cynical survivor battled within her to interpret how she felt about this man. For all the soundness of his logic and the sentiment of his belief in her, one more gulf made any reconciliation impossible for the space between them was too wide. "Halius."

"Is your choice, Alexia. For now, my arrangement with Halius is the reason we will be sending help to the Isles and why you will be going with an armada at your back, rather than a doomed expedition with Emir Leoquo."

Her father's subtle pivoting from the illusion of her freedom to justifying what he did as giving her what she wanted was a masterclass in manipulation, and Alexia recognized it with her cynical eyes. Before Ferrickton, it would have assuaged her, assuring her that he knew what was best. Not anymore.

"I am not permitted to leave Saphirhold," Alexia reminded him, letting her tone be filled with judgment as she channeled Qoryxa, heating the room further.

Her father's renewed effrontery made her feel small, a feeling she again recognized as manipulative. His every effort to regain her trust expanded the distance she felt. "Alexia, I know you will slip out of his grasp, and I even know how. I imagine a visit to Theos Stormkin is in your near future. I could help persuade Halius to allow you to go to Theos rather than make the old, senile man come to you."

Alexia released her hold on her door handle and stepped into the common room. The air grew warmer as Qoryxa's vindictive judgment coursed through her. "Why are you not trying to stop me? Why would either my father or the Royal Steward allow me on one of those ships?"

"Stop you! Alexia, you are the smartest, strongest, most sensitive soul this world has ever seen. I couldn't stop you nor would I ever want to! My beloved, since the moment I saw you, you've had all of my allegiance. Not Halius. Not Gideon. Not the Sapphire Kingdom. You. You are the beginning and the end of my loyalty. Everything I do, is for you."

As he spoke, his gestures, the strain in his voice, the way his eyes widened conveyed intense passion. It was hard not to believe him, but still, Alexia doubted. The cynical part of her felt like he was buttering her up to serve on a platter. She hated this feeling. Hated that she couldn't trust the man that had made her who she was.

Eron put his hands on her arms. "Your allegiance is not confined by borders, by family names, by blood, or anything beyond shared humanity. My belief in you is absolute. My trust in you is total. There is no other person ever to draw breath or yet to live that I would entrust the decisions to guide our world forward. Since your very first breath, my life has been devoted to letting you grow so that you can achieve your full potential."

He reached for her face, but Alexia stepped back. "That is my father's answer," she said. "Now what about the Bluerose's? What does the Royal Steward say to sending the Second Great Wizard on this suicide mission? Surely that bastion of logic wouldn't act so rashly on paternal sentiment."

Eron lowered his hands. "He would say that the Mahagan people need the Second Great Wizard and that the Sapphire needs the Mahagan people. The Celegans are coming, Alexia. If we are to stand against them, we need to unite more than just Ruby and Sapphire. We'll need the whole world."

Alexia accepted that simple logic. Both the father and the steward had their reasons. Alexia wondered what else hid behind the curtain, but what Eron Bluerose showed her was enough. For now. She let him touch her face, though she flinched. "I will not stop you from going. I will ensure Halius remains blind to your intentions and that he pardons your Redeemed Men. Shape the world, my beloved. Make it better than it is, as only you can do."

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