Asa ran into the meadow, flowers surrounding her in the lone area in their forest without a leafy canopy. She wanted to scream. This wasn't happening. It had to be a nightmare.

She wiped her eyes. She shouldn't cry. You are ugly when you cry, the voice echoed. Irvaine Celvine.

She was nothing more than a pretty face and she was barely that. Too dark. Too small. Not full enough. She remembered each critique she'd ever heard from the birthmark on her thigh, to the slight crook in her nose, to the little hairs that grew above her lip, to the paunch that she had during bleeding time. Her only redeeming quality was a fading, fickle thing, like this divinedamned aura that darkened the meadow. She was hideous. Disgusting.

Nobody would ever love her in a world with Sebreena Ruby and Alexia Bluerose—a woman rumored to be as pretty as any goddess with a perfect face, height, complexion, and figure. Nor could Asa ever hope to compete with her magical talent.

Of course, Zander would choose her nemesis over her. Nobody would ever choose her. Not Alfread. Not Whelan. Not Zander. She was a wayside inn where the boys passed through, making tribute and filling the void for a passing turn, before they went on to their forever and evers. Zander didn't use her body like the others had, but he'd used her for emotional support until he could get back to his divinedamned Sunrise.

It was over between them. Time to let go. Again.

But the thought of crawling back to Iceheart, tail tucked between her legs, belly up, and begging to serve in the medican tent, made her want to die. He'd rape her. It wouldn't be called that by anyone. Proving her loyalty. Using her charms for forgiveness. Getting what she deserved. A privilege to be with one so high and powerful. They'd call it what they liked, shaming her even as they celebrated Werner for putting the uppity witch in her place.

Asa threw up, spilling her breakfast and theccia tea over a patch of white carnations. She was no stranger to the feeling. Years of dumping her dinners at Leverian University made her quite practiced.

She'd been through this all before. Werner would get tired of her. She'd be forgotten, move along, and find another man to serve as the rest station on the way to his destination. She could go back to forcing smiles during the day and crying herself to sleep, to loathing herself full time. As long as she lived until she could lace her arrow with cordesine and drive it into Alexia Bluerose's heart.

Zander would truly hate her then. But why shouldn't he? She hated herself.

The feeling welled up inside of her, her aura draining the light around her, her stomach burning as she retched again, expelling whatever else was left of her briefly pleasant past. She screamed at the sky as if Balbaraq could do something about all of this.

Kenneth strode to her side. "Shiny." He claimed a seat among the flowers, patting the ground for her to join him.

She hesitated. The self-loathing monster that swallowed her own light didn't want somebody to see her as shiny and good. He was wrong about her, seeing her with false eyes. She was disgusting and unworthy, everything she'd treated him as when they first met. She couldn't keep giving him hope that she could be more than that.

Kenneth didn't give up. He said her sobriquet, adopting various silly voices they had co-created, until her resistance gave way to a giggle. He persevered, putting together a bouquet of freesias: white, yellow, and red. Asa recognized the petals as potent reagents in many love tonics. Alfread would've known that, but she was certain Kenneth did not.

"For my favorite girl," he said, offering them to her.

Asa wasn't ready to take them yet. "Your favorite girl?"

Kenneth nodded. "There have been many, but all of them cost me a pretty penny."

Asa giggled, even as she wiped a tear from her eye. "And what do I cost?"

"I don't know yet," Kenneth said. "But I know I'd pay anything to see you happy."

He offered the flowers again. This time she claimed them, sniffing to take the scent in. Light seeped back into the meadow, her aura turning a wan silver.

Kenneth opened his mouth to say more but stopped short. He didn't need to say anything more. Just like that, she felt better. She couldn't imagine this boy ever wounding her like the others did. With him here, she recognized the lies she told herself. Thunder could've stood by his childhood hero and reassured him that Asa was just another sentimental wench—as had a litany of men when she'd fought back against their abandonment.

Instead, he followed her into her own personal hell without second thoughts. No matter how ugly she might act, how dark her aura turned, all he saw was Shiny. He didn't have to say 'I love you,' for her to feel good enough, pretty enough, worthy of being cared about.

Clutching the freesias, she sat beside him, wanting to tell him just how much his love meant to her.

"I've always wished I could speak wise words like Alfread or motivate people with Zander's passion," he said. "I want to be like them, yet I'm constantly aware that I can never be them. If I were, I'd find the perfect thing to say to you. I don't have the magic words, and I know I don't look like any girl's hero, but I will tell you what little I know." Kenneth leaned closer, resting his hand on her shoulder. "You are an amazing person, Shiny."

Asa put her arm around him, seeing him. While she hid behind a shiny light and a pretty smile, he masqueraded behind the thunderous laughter and jokes. If only they could love themselves as much as they loved each other. She wanted to heal his wounds, the way he soothed her darkness.

"Silly Thunder, yours are my favorite words, especially when they're just you and not the face you show the world. Your words boom through me now, grounding me, letting me know that the voices in my head are not true. These hateful thoughts are but echoes coming from people that treated me like dirt. Their just as false as the ones in your head that tell you should be someone else."

Asa touched his heart, feeling his quickened beat. Channeling Leverith, she shared her love with him in the shape of blue mist enveloping his body as if she could protect him from the monsters within his own mind. But no amount of the Divine of Love's power flowing from them could change that at least one of those monsters wasn't false.

Asa wished she could find him attractive. She wished she could turn a page in her mind and see him just as rousing as Alfread, or Whelan, or Erich, or Irvaine. He was everything else, but this last thing. If only her mind could cross this shallow creek, she knew that there was an ocean of love awaiting her on the other side. Instead, she kept her arms stretched across this shallow creek, like two thirteen-year-olds dancing at their first royal ball.

Asa leaned away, hands planted behind her, looking into the beautiful meadow as the wind blew hundreds of scents toward them. The theccia trees with their magenta leaves and blue flowers with star petals made it feel like she was sitting in a fairy tale. Summer crept toward autumn, the temperature a perfect balance of Seraxa and Qoryxa with a little help from Zafrir's gentle breeze and Balbaraq's clouds. Asa tried to cling to the warmth, with Thunder sitting beside her, hoping they could ignore the creek between them and prevent it from becoming a river as wide and mighty as the Eagle.

But nothing good ever lasted, Asa knew. Soon it would be cold, even with Thunder beside her. Storm clouds rolled in, coalescing above them and threatening what little light she released into the darkening day.

"We could leave Zander here," Kenneth said. "Head for the Isles ourselves." He raised his eyebrow, flashing his jester's smirk.

Asa leaned into it, grateful for the distraction. "He could team up with his monster and fight off all the world's monsters."

Kenneth was quiet for half a degree. So, he wasn't fully on her side. This betrayal propelled her back toward darkness. The clouds above them became darker and the daylight dimmed. Her aura leaked shadow into the world.

"I wonder," Kenneth said, with a twinge of nervousness, "if you would hate her had she been a Ruby commanded to destroy a Sapphire mine?"

"That is irrelevant."

"Not to Zander."

"It is irrelevant to me, Kenneth," Asa snapped, as her dark aura expanded across the meadow. "She attacked my hometown, killed my uncle, and my sweet, little cousin is missing. She steals my brother from me. If she sat where you do, I would drive my knife into her heart."

Kenneth didn't pull away from her darkness, didn't make her feel judged. "I understand, Asa. What she did matters. I never meant to say she didn't hurt you."

Now, Asa felt guilty for her harshness. She came away feeling like a piece of shit. That thought brought with it the memories of cruel lordlings telling her she looked like diarrhea given human shape.

"Asa," Kenneth's voice wasn't smooth like Alfread's nor mighty like Zander's, but it soothed her. "If it comes between you and Zander, it will always be you. I am on your side."

Asa twirled her bouquet. Quiet tears of guilt descended her cheeks. "You should not have to make that choice. If I were a good person, Thunder, I would be able to end the cycle of vengeance. I know that, but I cannot, because I am not a good person."

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Kenneth looked like he'd been smacked. "You are a good person, Shiny. You want to see a bad person, look no further." Kenneth gestured to himself.

"You're not a bad person!"

"I am though. There is not a single thing about me that is good."

"That's horseshite!" Asa numbered things with her fingers as she called them out. "You are a good friend. You are loyal. You are strong. You are kind. You are hilarious." She pushed him, a gentle shove with her five fingers, of course, he barely budged, because he was so solid. "And, you make me happy. Happier than anybody else. You see, Thunder, you are good!"

Kenneth sighed. "All my life, women have scoffed at me and treated me like I was dirt. My own ma hated me so much she'd rather die than deal with me." His voice choked.

Rain fell into the meadow, a steady pattering then a vicious pounding downpour. Lightning flashed and crashed into a tree on the edge of their meadow. Thunder was deafening in its boom, only vied for by the sound of wood splintering and falling into the meadow.

Kenneth gripped her robes, pulling her out of the way as a tree slammed into the ground where she'd been sitting a moment before. "We were wrong about you, Kenneth! I was wrong about you!"

He still kept his grip on her robes, his arm trembling. Asa interlocked his hand with hers, letting it rest on her belly.

"I could say all the same things about you!" he howled into the thundering world, audible over the doubts in her mind. "You are the light in my heart, brighter than the storm in my mind."

Asa's aura brightened as lightning flashed multiple times around the meadow. More trees splintered, their broken halves crashing, kicking up a whirlwind of purple leaves and blue petals as rain and lightning pounded in a circle around them.

She yearned to banish the dark clouds in the sky, just as she wanted the two people in the heart of this vengeful storm to have hope for themselves. For Kenneth, she imagined a future than wasn't bound by the pain of his past. She looked forward, finding in the light a future where she could forgive those that hurt her, where Kenneth and Zander stayed by her side, where she was safe from cruel, powerful men, and where Goddess Hill wasn't a battleground. Most of all, she wanted to believe, in this future, that she was as Shiny inside and out as Kenneth saw her, and that Kenneth could finally silence the storm within him, and see that he was as beautiful as a clear sky and as powerful as the storm.

Harnessing all that light, her aura expanding through the meadow, she howled into the sky, "Norali!"

Beams of light burst from her, shooting faster than arrows, expanding in every direction, blinding everything in radiance. When she could see again, sunlight shone into the meadow. Her aura was resplendent, hope swelling inside of her like a child in need of nurturing. She couldn't let this feeling die, and allow the darkness to return.

Asa smiled at Kenneth, sitting with her back to his chest as the light sent them both reeling. "See," she said. "You always find the perfect things to say to me, Thunder."

"You will be the first and the last person who says that to me," Kenneth said, his famous grin spreading over his broad face.

"That's right," she said, her stern face cracking into a grin. "Because nobody is allowed to call you Thunder but me."

Kenneth's lips slowly bent upward, his teeth flashing. It was more than his usual sly, mischievous grin. Asa loved it. Loved how natural this felt, sitting in his lap, his hand on her belly, her back pressed against him. A feeling of peace settled in her heart.

"If I had to choose anyone to say that to me, it would be you, Shiny."

Asa spun on him, tackling him down to the grass and flowers. She threw her arms around him, buried her head in his neck, nuzzling him.

"I'm glad we made that clear, my wonderful Thunder."

Kenneth closed the embrace. "Clear as the light shining off you, my brilliant Shiny."

They went quiet, three little words on Asa's mind. She expected those same three words were kicking around in his beautiful mind. But for all she felt them, she couldn't bring herself to say them. What if they made him want more than she could give right now? What if that led to him leaving her too? But what if not saying them was met with the same finale?

In this meadow, Covademara's branches in the clear sky above, she couldn't risk adventuring into such darkness when leaving it unsaid would, for now, offer comfort, hope, and a silent love that didn't need words to announce how powerful it was. Darkness, meadows of flowers in the heart of a trees, reminded her of one of her heroes who once found ways keep the light within herself alive when she had every reason to fill her heart with hate. If Tuya could endure the Hollows, and find it within herself to keep loving, Asa could try.

She reached for Leverith, finding her in abundance as she held to Kenneth. The Divine of Love and Dreams was here with her, testing her ability to love in a world where they'd been given more reasons to hate instead.

"That's it," she said, the idea coming to her as if from the Divine of Love herself.

"What's it?"

Asa leapt to her feet. "She tests us, Thunder. I won't fail this time."

Kenneth looked at her like she was speaking Isihlan. Ironically, she didn't know her ancestral tongue. She'd wondered if any of them had since the Shadowseer left his seed in Leveria.

Asa offered him a hand, helped pull him up. Now, she was deceptively strong for her size, thanks to all the training they put her and Lira through, but Kenneth was built solid as a mountain. She fumbled him, spilling him back to the flowers.

After a few turns of laughter, he vaulted to his feet, making a big show of dusting himself off. "I see how it is."

"Uh huh," she said, handing him the flowers.

"The hell am I supposed to do with these?"

Asa retrieved her staff. "How bout holding them so I can do this?" She reached her free hand toward him.

Gray eyes lighting up, Kenneth grinned, almost bashfully. "Zander'll think you picked them for me."

"And that's a problem?"

"He'll think you're buying me with gifts."

"And that's a problem?"

Kenneth chuckled, his real laugh bursting through the mask.

"Today isn't the end for us," she said. "I've got a plan."

"Do you?"

"Uh huh. It's brilliant."

"Sounds like you might call it shiny."

"Uh huh."

Asa kept the banter going until they found themselves faced with the old broken farmhouse, Zander standing outside speaking to Gabor. Asa's shield-brother dismissed the knight, then turned toward them, sighing before putting on the same battle face he wore before speaking with Iceheart.

But she wasn't Iceheart. She wouldn't be like him. She channeled Leverith, reminding herself of who she wanted to be when she looked forward.

She had never heard him sound less sure of himself. His usual meladonite confidence fractured, he looked more like a little boy than the hulking man he was. "Are you leaving?"

"No," Asa said. "I won't abandon you, my brother. Leverith tests me, asking for me to find a way to release my hatred. I intend to pass the test, and I need your help."

Zander, Leverith bless him, became tearful. "Were our places changed, I would feel the same way you have. If you are to pass her test, you must try to understand her. She was broken the morning after Ferrickton. She told me she would spend the rest of her life trying to redeem herself. When I asked her to run away with me, she refused, because she needed to make amends, because she didn't deserve to be happy. She told me she would go to Sapphirica to persuade Gideon Sapphire to make peace."

Asa found those old hateful thoughts emerging. Nothing could ever redeem sabotaging the life's blood of her town or replace what Alexia had done to Allison and Barnett. Yet, she tried to be a better person, not just for Zander, but for herself. "Have either of you ever heard the tale of Donovan and Emeralda against the Ruby?"

Kenneth shook his head. Zander said, "Sounds familiar."

"Donovan was the son of King Philladon. He finished the task of uniting Leveria for the Godseer. One of the final battles King Donovan fought was against the ancient Ruby warlords. His queen was a powerful cognitive-affectomancer named Emeralda. Before the battle, Queen Emeralda kissed King Donovan and spoke words of protection. When King Donovan was killed in battle by the ancient Ruby—"

"—What!?" Zander interrupted, the usual playful banter that had lit her life these last several spans bubbling up between them. "What kind of a horseshite story is this, Asa?"

"The best kind. Now, seal your divinedamned lips, interruptanus!"

Kenneth chuckled. Balbaraq's Skies! She loved that sound. Happy, the grin came easy to her face. Zander couldn't resist smiling too, even though he tried smooth those lips flat, they wriggled with delight.

"When Donovan died," Asa continued, "Emeralda's spell activated. Leverith's spirit emerged from his body and brought him back to life. Watching the king come back from death, the ancient Ruby surrendered a winning battle and became a part of the newly completed kingdom."

She looked at Zander expectantly. "I suppose that story is adequate," Zander said. "You also win a reward for not droning on-and-on and putting me to sleep with a thousand little details."

Kenneth snorted. "You win the not-Alfread Storytelling award."

Asa mimed placing a crown on her head, striking a pompous pose as she gave a playful hip shake and rolled her eyes upward.

"Don that crown, queen," Zander said. "You've earned it."

Asa laughed. "This is why I love you guys." She gestured for Zander to kneel. Once she could reach him, she kissed his cheeks. "I love you, Zander. Leverith shield you from Zamael."

More nervously she went to Kenneth. "You too, Thunder." Kenneth knelt, but he wouldn't meet her eyes. He didn't have to kneel quite so far to reach her level. Asa kissed his cheek. "I love you, Kenneth. Leverith shield you from Zamael."

"Leverith will need to shield him from erections first," Zander quipped.

"If I were erect," Kenneth said, that mischievous glint in his eyes, "I'd have already knocked you down with my jousting lance."

Zander fell backward, dramatically. "Damn it, Kenny, I told you to put that thing away. I didn't bring eye protection."

Kenneth nodded, satisfied. "Keep on your helmet at all times and lower that visor."

Asa groaned "I should've shielded you two from Balbaraq."

Zander lifted Asa off the ground like she was lighter than a ray of light. He tossed her up like a babe, making her giggle as her stomach experienced weightlessness.

"Why? Does Balbaraq shield tiny witches from getting Zander's world-famous Bear's Crossing bear hugs?"

Hooting with laughter, Kenneth pulled Asa down from Zander's grasp. She rode on his shoulders, finally eye level with Zander. Almost.

He waved. "What're you doing up here?"

"Sitting atop a cloud," she said.

Both of them laughing, Kenneth charged toward Zander. Asa stretched out her arms, pushing into him with mock force. Zander feigned defeat, tumbling backward and dramatically crashing to the ground. He rolled an extra twenty feet.

Asa laughed the whole time as Kenneth bounced her up and down on his shoulders, parading around their fallen opponent.

I can do this, she thought. Her aura flared, radiant silver in the bright day.

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