Deep In The Heart

Chapter 111: The Paradox Of Hope


<Objective>

Framed by his magnificent state and country flags, Schneider stares out of the window of his governor's office, hands behind his back. He pays no attention to the TV, instead simply eyeing the protestors still outside, a hunter scanning his prey.

He doesn't shift an inch when the door bursts open, revealing his red-haired Attorney General.

"Mr. Governor! We have to do something about these protestors!"

"Why are you coming to me?" Schneider asks sharply, without turning around. "You're the Attorney General. Use your powers."

"But… but those are our citizens!" he says stupidly.

"What are you blubbering about?" Schneider barks, turning his head at last. "If you're not going to do anything about them, then don't bother me about it! What do they matter?"

"Think about how bad this is making us look!" Dallas protests."The press is giving them an unfettered platform."

"What brought you out here to Austin today?" A voice from the TV says.

"I think destiny did, if I'm honest," a different one responds "You see… My mom ran against Schneider in 2006. And I'm here now to finish what she started."

Schneider suddenly turns his whole body around and locks eyes on the TV screen.

"Uh… sir?" Dallas asks uncertainly.

Schneider ignores him, eyes fixed on Anja's face. A silent moment passes, his expression unreadable.

He points to her.

"Get her," he says commandingly.

"Er… I don't…"

Schneider turned sharply towards him, making him flinch. "Get her. Have a guard take her phone and don't let her leave our sight. Right now."

"O-okay Mr. Governor! I'll, uh, go find a guard!" he stumbles out of the governor's office.

"Buffoon," Schneider mutters lowly.

He turns his eyes back to the screen, eyeing Anja darkly as she spills her heart to the reporter.

After a while, he seems satisfied in whatever he was assessing about her, and instead turns to his desk to check a drawer…

<Kevin>

McCullough leads us out of the stadium to the outer edge. We walk for a while, past the clouds peacefully drifting by just past the walkway. I'm beginning to wonder why the source is being held all the way out here when she points out a door on her left.

"Well, here's where we've gathered our energy source. Feel free to check it out."

"Okay, thanks!" Zoe says cheerily.

"We appreciate it," I add.

Ruth doesn't say anything; she only glares at the door with suspicion.

The door is made of metal with a long handle you turn down to open, making me think of a vault. I wrench it open and hold it open for Zoe and Ruth to follow. Ladies first, after all. I follow them inside.

As soon as the door slams shut behind me, it strikes me that something's off. For one, there's nothing in here. For another, the door doesn't have a handle on the other side.

"God damn it," Ruth sighs.

Worried, Zoe immediately jumps to the one long window the room has along the door, which looks like it's made of bulletproof glass.

I arrive just in time to see McCullough kick Rep. Casey off the edge of the platform. I briefly catch the shock on his face as he tumbles over the edge and into the abyss, then he disappears into the cloudy expanse of the sky.

"What's the big idea?" Zoe shouts angrily through the glass. Ruth simply sighs again, like she was expecting this.

"I'm not stupid, you know," she says, stepping away from the ledge and back towards the same window. "I know that you three are among the terrorists who attacked The Holiday earlier, killing dozens of people and destroying the floors!"

"We're not terrorists!" Zoe replies indignantly.

"This is a misunderstanding," I chime in. "We didn't plan for any of that; in fact, it was actually the governor who blew that big hole in the place. He had this-"

"Don't be absurd," she interrupts. "He wouldn't do that. Whatever faults the man has, he's dedicated to keeping our people safe."

"Who are 'your people,' exactly?" Ruth asks.

"All who call the great state of Texas home," McCullough replies.

Ruth raises her eyebrows at her.

"Ma'am, I was there, and it really was Schneider who blew that up," I insist.

"Then it was a necessary sacrifice to apprehend the terrorist threat," she deflects.

Zoe shakes her head and puts both fists on the glass, as if preparing to punch through it. "Why did you do that to Rep. Casey?" she asks angrily.

"Taking out the trash," she says, waving a hand dismissively. "Needed to be done. Better that it was me, I made it quick. As you are children, you get yet more mercy. We'll send you back to where you and your little friends have gathered in time for the police to apprehend the lot of you. Don't worry- I'm sure you'll get nothing serious for it. Just a call home to your parents explaining what you've been up to."

"We weren't doing anything illegal," I say.

"Trespassing on public property!" she counters. "Disturbing the peace! The governor's patience has run out with your lot."

"How do you know what's going on out there, in the real world?" Ruth asks suspiciously.

"Never you mind," she snaps. "Anyway, sending you back is the merciful option compared to what's about to happen, trust me. Get home safe now, kids."

"Wait, what?" Zoe asks.

Suddenly, we're all knocked backwards as a vale of winds sucks us backwards.

I fight against the sudden suction to clamber to my feet and stumble into the window. It's tough; I make a dent and some cracks, but no break. Zoe has one hand trying to beat it in with the butt of her shotgun, as the other desperately latches onto the sill to hold her in place.

"Kevin!" I hear Ruth's voice call from behind me.

I turn to see at once what is sucking us back; the back part of the room has dropped its floor, revealing some sort of vacuum mechanism that makes the air rush out to below us. Ruth is barely hanging on, her torso desperately clinging to the floor as her legs dangle out.

I turn to rush for her, but quickly find myself dangerously pulled towards the gap myself. I slide to the floor and crawl the rest of the way. I grab Ruth by the arm and use my enhanced strength to start inching her forward.

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Then… CRASH!

I tumble to the floor and accidentally throw Ruth several yards forward as the suction is suddenly lessened.

I look forward to see that Zoe has disposed of the window with a well-aimed nuclear attack.

I can't see Zoe's face from where I'm standing, but when McCullough sees it, a look of terror overtakes it as she turns away and bolts as fast as her legs can carry her.

It turns out that "as fast as her legs can carry her" isn't very fast, as Zoe has already caught her by the time Ruth and I amble over the windowsill.

Zoe has her pinned to the floor, shotgun pointed at her face.

"N-now now! Why can't we talk about this?" the Representative is saying as Ruth and I catch up.

"The time to talk was before you voted for the law that got my parents arrested," Zoe says coldly.

"Uh, Zoe?" I ask.

Ruth elbows me in the ribs painfully.

"Or maybe before you cheerfully watched men beat each other to death," Zoe continues. "Or before you just tried to have us arrested. Tell me, do you hate us?"

"Wh- of course not!" McCullough says pleadingly. "Why, I only have-"

"Then do you simply hold us in contempt?" Zoe presses. "Because clearly, what we want doesn't matter in the slightest!" Zoe huffs, briefly overcome with her anger. "You- you're not a real person! You talk nicely, and then sign off on our deaths! People like you… should be afraid! Afraid of the people you're supposed to represent…"

Zoe puts one foot on her torso, and kicks her away, towards the edge…

She starts to plummet over the edge, just like Casey, screaming a horrible scream…

I'm about to intervene when Zoe grabs her ankles and holds her in place, leaving Rep. McCullough to hang over the edge upside down, Zoe's grip her only lease on life.

She continues to scream wordlessly until she runs out of breath, stopping to pant and catch it.

"I… I always consider what my constituents want!" she pleads.

Wrong thing to say. Zoe lets her slip just another inch, enough to jolt the Representative back into deep silence as she pants sharply.

"No more lying. Where is the energy source, really?"

"It-it's held under the floor, in the hull of the ship!" McCullough explains quickly. "At least, that's where I see it taken! Workers take it straight from the arena through doors in the side! That's all I know, I swear!"

"There we go," Zoe says coldly. She drags McCullough back onto the ledge to safety. McCullough breathes a sigh of relief… until Zoe grabs her again, this time under her armpits.

"Kevin, can you please help?" Zoe asks courteously.

Uh… help with what? I wonder.

Picking her up?

I grab McCullough by the legs and lift her up in unison with Zoe.

I follow her footsteps to the window that we broke out of. I figure out what Zoe wants at this point and help lower her behind the windowsill and lower her to the floor, craning our backs over the sill. The vacuum that threatened to drag us to our deaths has since turned off, leaving the middle-aged blonde woman to sit in shock.

"Stay here," Zoe commands.

It doesn't occur to McCullough to reply- she simply gulps.

I guess that, even with the window broken, the older woman would have more trouble climbing over it than us. It'll at least slow her down if she tries to call the alarm on us. Not perfect, but oh well. I didn't want to chuck her over the edge.

<Nova>

I dart through the crowd, jumping and zipping between people, not looking back, not even caring if I push people aside, fuck manners, they're not real anyway, the people who are glancing back at me, tutting, glaring, huffing, shouting out at me, they'll never remember any of this, I just run, run, run. Past the bars, past the shops, past whatever the hell is going on in that tent, into a sort of food court where I push aside chairs and flip tables and don't care who I-

Someone grabs my hand, causing me to pivot around a full 180 degrees, my momentum launching me right into them.

"Nova! There you are!" Charlotte calls, not bothered by my crash.

"Charlotte," I say frantically. "There's…"

"You gotta try this!" Charlotte insists, shoving some sort of kebab in my face with chicken and onion on it. "The food here is delicious!"

I start trying to wiggle out of her grasp, trying to look past her to see how close my pursuer is. "Charlotte, we don't have time for-"

"I always feel better after I eat!" Charlotte says contently. She takes another bite of the chicken. "Mm… off the grill is always better."

"Charlotte-"

"I don't get to have it much, living in an apartment and-"

And then, I see it. The nightmare dementor skeleton… THING version of my mom.

I start desperately trying to pull myself away from Charlotte, slapping her hand to get her let go.

"Hey!" she says, frowning. "What exactly are you running from, anyway?"

"What are YOU running from?" I shout unthinkingly.

My hand finally slips out, thanks to the grease on her hands. I try to leap over the table blocking me from the other side of the court, but instead end up just crashing down onto it. The legs collapse from under it as I fall to the floor.

"Sweet Jesus Crimbo, what the fuck is that thing?" Charlotte asks, finally seeing it.

"Yeah! You see why we gotta run???" I ask, scrambling back up to my feet.

"No way! There's two of us now, we'll fight it!" She bravely puts her fists up in a fisticuffs stance.

"Oh yeah? How???"

"Well, shoot it with your lightning!" Charlotte suggests.

"Oh yeah, sure. 'Cause that worked so well last time," I say sarcastically. "Watch!"

I fire a bolt of lightning at the monster slowly hovering its way towards us from the edge of the court. It holds up its two hands, and I expect them to be white and skeletal like her face, but they're covered by black gloves which intercept my lightning and completely no-sell it. 0 damage. Immune.

"Shit," Charlotte says.

"Yeah, shit." I say.

"What is this thing, anyway?" Charlotte asks, turning her head.

"It's my mom," I say.

"In a PALACE?" Charlotte questions.

"Well, it's happened before, sort of," I say, thinking of that endless chamber, and of that damn bird and its mind games.

"Well, how'd you defeat her last time?" Charlotte asks simply.

"I… I faced my fears!" I say, realization hitting me.

I square myself back to my demon-mom.

If lightning won't work, maybe I just need to rush it with my hammer.

I close my eyes and try to put myself back in that car…

Anja's fingers running through my hair…

Anja, who is somewhere in this palace, and I have no idea where…

Anja, who I ran off from to chase after Charlotte and some pink-haired gamer girl…

Anja, who I wandered away from at that game tournament when she needed me…

Where is she? Is she okay? Is she mad at me?

A new wave of anxiety grips me to my core…

"...Shit. I can't do it!" I say. I turn and dart away in the opposite direction from my mother's zombie, towards the stands selling food.

<Kevin>

On the walk back around the perimeter, the cloudy sky behind us starts to seem not peaceful, but rather ominous, like a veil that's threatening to swallow us if we make a single slip-up. The darkening sky as the sun sets doesn't help.

It was around the point that I realized this was going to be a painfully tense walk when Zoe decided to strike up a conversation.

"That wasn't… too far, was it?"

Her face was pained, an empty sadness in her eyes as she watches the bolts of metal holding the floor together pass by.

"Not at all," Ruth offers without hesitation.

"I… it was different for you," I say, feeling more conflicted.

"Not as different as you think," Zoe says darkly.

"Er, Zoe?" I ask.

She shakes her head sadly. "Kevin, you of all people should understand. You try to keep the peace, try to get along with everyone. And they just take advantage of you, again and again. And you start to feel empty inside, like you don't matter, you're not really a person."

Something squirms inside me. "Zoe, stop…"

"I felt like nobody knew the real me. Not my family, not my friends, not even Ashley. Because I decided I'd rather just stay numb. At that point, do I even exist?"

She turns her head to Ruth. "Ruth, I'm sorry about how we started off, that one day in the lunchroom."

"No need to apologize," Ruth says simply. "I could've been more tactful…"

"No, you were right," Zoe insists. "I just… I can't take it. Thinking about how broken the world is, how broken we can be as humans. How far we've fallen from grace. It makes me insane, makes me feel like I'm being eaten from the inside. So I just… don't think about it. But you're stronger than me. You can keep track of it all, and stay sane. So you're…"

"I'm gonna stop you there, Zoe," Ruth says. "I entirely disagree. You're the stronger one here."

Zoe looks shocked. "I mean that-"

"No, you shouldn't put yourself down for being able to find happiness," Ruth says. "For being able to form connections with people. You're right for not wanting to run around in circles in your mind."

Zoe tilts her head, confused. "You're right that we need to find the moments of happiness. But being numb isn't happy. Do we need to be alive to be truly happy…?"

She blinks once. "Oh, that sounds stupid. Of course we're all alive. But, emotionally alive. To feel hope. To fight when we need to, but to find the good in all of it… oh, I'm just rambling now."

"Maybe you just have to make sure you keep moving?" I suggest. "You can't just stand around let things get to you. If you can't do something about it, just move on."

"Maybe…" Zoe says, but she looks unconvinced.

"What if you can do something about it?" Ruth says quietly, almost like she's talking to herself. I shrug. "Then do that."

"What if the thing you can do isn't something you like?" Zoe asks.

I'm confused for a moment, and then it hits me- Rep. McCullough, dangling off the edge by her ankles. That was Zoe's 'doing something about it.' Perhaps even her 'being alive.'

Oh, man.

"Well, er, then…" I stammer, feeling lost.

"You think I went too far, don't you?" Zoe says quietly.

" I think you were remarkably kind and reserved in how you approached that situation, bordering on naivety," Ruth cuts in. "You tried it the nice way. She proved herself untrustworthy."

"But you gave her a chance," I say quickly, as if trying to convince myself of it. "You had to try! And then you let her go."

"Probably shouldn't have," Ruth adds. "But, I understand."

"I just… can't stand the idea that I'm adding to the ugliness of the world," Zoe says. "But I can't let myself disappear… I think, somewhere between those two things, there has to be a 'real me' in there. Come to think of it,giving up on morals and becoming monstrous would just be a different way to disappear, wouldn't it?"

"It certainly would be. I think that the world would be a substantially uglier place without you in it, Zoe," Ruth says genuinely, patting her on the shoulder.

Zoe smiles. She relaxes somewhat

I… don't say or do anything but keep walking.

Zoe's cold expression when she made McCullough talk… her "emptiness…" feeling "alive…"

Something about it all unsettles me… like it's a puzzle I can't quite figure out, but it saddens me the more I try to, every puzzle piece a reminder that it's not whole.

So, ultimately, I just keep moving.

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