I pushed open the doors of the Donner Family Memorial Cafeteria feeling like I had all the world's weight on my shoulders and not a thing to do about it. Students walked past me, left and right, talking to their friends, smiling at one another.

I sighed, seeing the line of students standing with the melted-crayon orange and green cafeteria trays that made Crescent Moon's food look gross no matter what was put on (or crawled off) the tray.

I turned to my side and saw Yuki floating beside me.

We walked past a window, and I could see the halo of the pale-yellow sun through her muted-colored form.

I smiled at her, glad to have anything by my side in this place.

Then I felt someone grab my wrist from behind.

There were too many vibrations in the cafeteria. I'd been deaf to the approaching vibrations.

"End of the road for you, Kazeyama. It's your money or your life. What's it gonna be, then, eh?"

I winced, hearing the absolutely worst impression of a gangster in my life and forced down the anxiety that twisted my stomach into knots. Humor was my shield—right now, it felt paper-thin, but it was better than nothing.

"Ugh, please, my life, Inego, if you're going to insist on using those stupid gangster lines. You sound like a backup from Errol Flynn's Robin Hood somehow wondered into a James Cagney film and they just went with it."

Inego shook his head, looking confused. "Mate, who the hell's Errol Flynn? Carey Elwes is Robin Hood. Or Kevin Costner if you want to be depressed while watching Robin Hood for two gloomy hours."

I shrugged. The kid had a point.

It was still weird being the oldest person in the room and still having a curfew.

"Ew, Kevin Costner's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves? The one where they show the dead guy from St. Elmo's Fire's butt for, like, no reason?" Asuki chimed in.

I watched her pop out from behind Inego like she'd planted an interdimensional door in the cafeteria.

She hadn't. Probably. But knowing Asuki, that door might still show up on the way out.

"Hey," I said. "I liked Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."

Inego rolled his eyes. "You would, you bloody American. Doesn't it bother you in the slightest that Costner doesn't even use an English accent?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I tell you what, Union Jack, I'm going to grab lunch, then I'm going to school you about how wrong you are about Costner's Robin Hood."

He laughed. "Oh? This ought to be brilliant."

I handed him my book. "Could you take this back to the table for me?"

He looked at the title. "Orc history, eh? Some light reading or are you hoping to form some kind of a strategy against Ken?"

I shrugged. "Couldn't hurt."

He thought about it for a second. "Well, it's a better idea than relying on magic to bail you out of this situation. Sure. I'll take it to the table for you."

I had just placed my tray on the table, eaten a fork full of soba noodles, and pointed at Inego, ready to hit him with the perfect comeback for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

But instead an impossibly loud CLANG rang out from the kitchen, followed by the blood curdling shriek of an Italian man with palatable I-never-asked-for-this energy.

"My sauce! Ohhhh, you banshee! You ruined the entire pan of my spaghetti sauce! You spilled if on the floor on-a purpose!" Head Chef Tito Albini's voice echoed through the cafeteria.

Just then, Shion walked out of the kitchen, throwing her spaghetti-covered apron through the swinging door just before it shut.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

She spun around, tossed her arms into the air, making a V, and grinning as though she'd just won second place at a pageant.

"Two points!" she said.

She saw me sitting at our regular table and she walked over to join us.

I lowered my chopsticks. Kevin Costner would have to wait.

"Okay, but what game are we playing where you score points for war crimes against pasta?" I asked.

Shion beamed, pulling up a chair, swinging it's back to the table, and sitting with her legs spread leaning her arms over the back.. "Crescent Moon's culinary program needed a wake-up call. But the two points was just a basketball reference."

Yuki hovered beside me, whispering, "She's been gone for three hours and this is how she says hello."

"She assaulted a tomato-based ecosystem, Yuki," Azuki pointed out. "Shion's wrecked the entire kitchen economy."

"She's grieving," Yuki said. "Let her grieve with sauce."

Inego laughed. "What in the world does Shion have to grieve?"

Shion smiled, placing her hand on the table and began tapping with her long, black-polished fingernails. "How about the fact that I'm going to Dicks tonight without a proper escort?"

She looked from me to Inego and then back again. "So how about it, boys? Come on, aren't I cute enough? Don't you like my long, lush black locks and my doll baby green eyes? Any takers?"

She kicked me under the table.

"Ouch! Er, Yeah. I'm taking you, of course," I said.

She had the audacity to look at me surprised.

"Well… you know, if you don't want to take Shion, I'd be more than glad to," Inego said.

The way Shion's eyes lit up when she looked from Inego and then to me somehow hurt worse than if she'd just shrugged it off.

Instead, I could tell she was considering his offer, and I felt…

Oh no. I didn't want to feel jealous of Inego taking Shion. Why should I? Shion was rude, insufferable, cold, distant, and most importantly dead.

She smiled, looking at the two of us, and then I saw her tongue run over her fangs, like she was imagining licking our blood off.

"Isn't this interesting?" she asked, like she was asking our opinion on our favorite episode of Dragon Ball Super or something.

"Ryu, what do you think you're doing?" Yuki asked.

At the other end of the table, Azuki began to take her empty milk carton and fold it into a boat. Or a hat. I couldn't tell, and it didn't seem like a good time to ask.

Shion turned towards Inego, and I could see the hint of a grin playing on her lips.

"Why, Mr. Fallensworth, are you sure you'd be okay taking me? After everything I did to you the other day? You're not… scared?"

I felt my hands tense. Yuki floated closer to me. "Ryu?"

Inego shrugged casually. "I mean, only if Ryu's okay with it. I don't want to step on anyone's toes. Ryu's a good friend. Even in England, we respect the bros rule."

He winked at me.

Shion lowered her head, letting her black hair fall over her face.

"Well, I don't know. He didn't sound very sincere, did he? I bet he's thinking of taking someone else."

What in the world was Shion doing?

Suddenly, under the table, I felt Shion's black combat boot against my foot. Then, she slowly brought it along the inside of my leg.

My breath hitched in my throat.

"Well, Ryu? What do you say?" Shion asked flatly.

I felt like all the breath to speak had left my body.

"…I'll take you, yeah. I mean, yeah," I muttered, trying not to panic.

And Shion took a breath and laughed, dropping her boot.

"Oh my god, you're impossible, Ryu," she said.

Her eyes glittered mischievously, and I could never tell if this was genuine interest, a twisted game, or just another strategy to keep herself distant and powerful.

Then she looked at the swinging kitchen doors as Head Chef Tito Albini walked out holding the biggest butcher knife I've ever seen and a look that would've made Mike Meyers's mask gasp.

"Inego, pick me up tomorrow evening at seven," Shion said.

She shot me a quick wink before getting up and running out of the cafeteria.

Head Chef Tito Albini spun around, walked back through the double swinging doors, and slipped on the apron that Shion had thrown earlier.

I almost squirted the school's abysmal milk out my nose laughing.

"Oh my gosh, I've got to Shion about that," I head Inego say.

I turned back around, and Azuki was standing in front of me.

She placed the origami carton she'd folded into a hat on my head.

"There you go, Ryu-sama," she said.

She smiled at me and folded her hands in her lap as she sat down beside me.

I hated how I suddenly noticed how golden her eyes were under the flickering florescent cafeteria bulbs.

"I've made you a carton hood in honor of the way you defended a grim, dark movie because you grew up watching it. I don't care that you're two spirits in one body, Ryu-sama. You're the most important person to me on campus because you did something no one else has, like, ever done."

She calmly put her hand in mine.

"You took a tanuki seriously," she said.

I watched as her hand turned to black and white television static for a second. Then she pulled it away, embarrassed.

"Oh! Damn it, Azuki…" she sighed, and pushed her glassed back on her nose.

I know what I was about to do. "Hey, Azu—"

"Uh," she interrupted. "Ryu-sama, I already told you yes! Remember! Oh, it's in your past! Sorry. I'll wait for you to finish asking if you want. Cause first, right?"

She looked back at me and smiled.

My heart twisted at the embarrassment flickering across Azuki's face. Somehow, even with all my own struggles, I wanted to shield her from feeling like an outsider.

I heard Yuki laugh behind me.

Somewhere out there, Ken and his goons lurked. Murasaki, the world's most insecure succubus was hunting me, and I still needed to raise money for Hibana.

But I was going to take a glitchy, static-filled tanuki girl to Dick's Discotheque while my British best friend was going with my vampiric femme-fatale, and somehow I felt better.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.