"No, what I mean is, if you dare say it out loud, I'll dare to use my nationwide top status to force the school to expel you."

He handed the rejected light novel to Saito Keisuke and Dubian Che slammed the sliding door shut.

The next day, Jiutiao Meijie didn't come to school.

No matter how much Dubian Che called her, she wouldn't get up.

Dubian Che walked into the classroom, and Saito Keisuke immediately jumped over.

"Dubian, what you wrote is so good! I only planned to read a little last night and wait till today during the club time to continue, but I ended up reading it all!"

"Really?" Dubian Che didn't care about a light novel that hadn't won any awards.

"I think it can totally be turned into an animation!" Kunii Shuichi added, "and when that happens, you as the original author should go to the recording studio, and remember to bring me along. Oh, and make sure to choose Ayane Sakura for the voice of the lead female character. I imagined her voice the whole time, it was awesome."

"You read it too?" Dubian Che asked.

"I ran into him after school yesterday, he asked me for it, so I made a copy for him," Saito Keisuke said. "Is that okay?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Don't worry, there are some things I'll say, but some things I absolutely won't!"

"What things?" Kunii Shuichi asked curiously.

"Saito recommended some 'little sister' games to me," Dubian Che said offhandedly.

"You wouldn't share them with me?!" Kunii Shuichi hugged Saito Keisuke's shoulder, "And after I secretly gave you the disk I bought late at night."

"Idiot, don't talk about it in the classroom!"

Amidst the disapproving looks of the girls in the class, Dubian Che left the two and walked to his own seat.

Without Jiutiao Meijie, he tried not to talk to Kiyono Lin.

After school, the two spent time reading books in the clubroom.

"Come over to my place right after school tomorrow," Kiyono Lin said halfway.

"Your place?" Dubian Che looked up.

"They want to celebrate our birthdays," Kiyono Lin said without looking away from her book.

"Okay." Dubian Che continued reading "Heartbeat"—he had bought the Japanese version in Shinbashi, and he had also bought an English version in his spare time.

Compared to yesterday's noise, the usual quiet harmony, today's clubroom always carried a hint of discomfort.

This was the first time they were alone together since coming back from a family trip.

"Do you have something on your mind?" Kiyono Lin's voice was calm.

"Why do you ask?" Dubian Che looked up again.

"Tell me about it," she said, closing the book and elegantly folding her arms like a noble young lady.

"Is this part of human observation?"

"Kind of, go ahead."

Dubian Che also closed his book, his fingers sanding the cover.

"You know, I've made up my mind to be with Meijie and the others."

"But you can't forget me?"

"Yeah, even though I decided to be with them, I can't forget you. The happiness in front of them is sometimes feigned."

Dubian Che's gaze returned to the cover of "Heartbeat."

On the sawed-off fig tree, a man and a woman sat on the branch, enjoying the wind and sunlight, and the distant scenery.

"Even though I made up my mind, when I'm alone, I still question myself: 'Why do I live this life if I can't pursue what I love? What's the purpose of all this?' Yet, in my heart, I can't bear to give up on them. It's said to be responsibility, but there's love and greed too."

After a pause, he continued, "I feel like a hypocrite myself, I despise myself."

Dubian Che's gaze moved away from the book, looking out the window.

The weather forecast said that this year's rainy season in Tokyo would start on June 8th.

"Why would you think that?" Kiyono Lin asked.

Before Dubian Che could speak, she continued, "Compared to them who are without burdens, and me, you are the one who suffers the most."

"Asuka can't be without you, Mr. Xiaoquan has been trying for you for ten years, Jiutiao Meijie... a person like her, admitting her own mistakes for you, letting you have lovers outside, you love them, cherish them, have responsibilities towards them."

"But you also love me so much, love me the most."

"Fate made you choose between me and them, yet you remain strong, haven't given up, haven't complained about anyone, still gentle, still keeping your promises."

"You keep loneliness and sorrow to yourself, trying your best to give the remaining warmth to them. When they look at you, you hide the resentment, longing, and sadness, showing only them in your eyes. You strive to make them feel safe when they are by your side."

"Rather than any sweet words, this careful effort to make them happy is what truly moves them."

"So you don't need to despise yourself at all, compared to what you called hypocrisy, I think you're just too lucid, or maybe too obsessive, you have nothing to be blamed for."

"Really?" Dubian Che asked.

"At least, to me it is."

"To you?"

"Because," Kiyono Lin's fair face blushed as she turned her gaze out the window, "I like you, so I might be biased towards you."

Dubian Che stared at her, then smiled bitterly, "Kiyono, if you keep being so lovable, I'll only become more and more miserable."

"Then just give up on them and be with me," Kiyono Lin said. "Aren't you reading 'Heartbeat'? There's a line in it: 'Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss. But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.'"

Some people are shallow, some are outwardly golden, inwardly shabby.

But sometimes, you meet someone as dazzling as a rainbow.

After that, others are merely fleeting clouds.

—Dubian Che thought about the meaning of this English sentence.

"If I do that, I'll be a complete scumbag."

"No, you would be awake, knowing what you really want. And even if you are a scumbag, I won't despise you; I'm already a bad woman myself," Kiyono Lin said with a smile.

"Right now, I'm trying not to think about these things, only focusing on how to reconcile you and Meiji."

Kiyono Lin picked up the book and resumed reading.

"I'll wait for the day you understand what you really want, or else, the day you realize how much you can't part from me."

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