Dear Diary,

Wild how quickly something can go from 'unknown and scary' to 'new and neat', and maybe even a little bit wilder how fast it can progress from 'exciting and new' to 'normalized'. Like, I know at the end of the day today, barring some kind of weird shit happening and ruining it, I will be heading down to Calverton and most likely having intimate relations with half a dozen near strangers in a semi-public venue. Not just doing that, but doing so with my Blend down, letting anybody with enough clues realize that I am, in fact, Mimic, Walking Ragnarok, Black Swan with a thousand, thousand young.

Prior to Karen claiming the Temple of Love for me, that would have been a really fuckin' scary thought. Shit, it would have been several scary thoughts. Having sex in public. Coming out as Mimic. Having sex with multiple new people in one extended session. Like, putting out on the first date is one thing; I can't say I've done that, but only because my hookups prior to the here and now rarely involved dates, and Siobhan is kinda right, our first date was watching Mimic dance with her Kraken. I didn't want to admit it to myself at the time, because 'date first, then despoil' was pretty much the only thing holding me back on some of those occasions, and I really didn't want Calverton distracting me from an absolute hyperfocus on making her first time so incredible that her only subsequent thoughts about sex are good ones.

But first date nookie aside, I'm not even dating these folks. I'm meeting most of them for the very first time when they come up to the altar, and a solid chunk of them are there to have me get busy with them until it literally overwhelms their physical form and they slip into sweet, blissful unconsciousness. Not even 'oh, unconsciousness is sweet because it's the surcease of pain', but 'I am so overwhelmed with pleasure that my brain meat cannot handle it, I have to check out for a little bit, and I'm gonna wake up with said brain meat having simmered in happy juice for the entirety of my nap'. I really hope none of them have any kind of negative side effects from that. Seriously, I'm doing this to give back to the people who Worship me hardest, who are doing their best to help me give back to their communities by volunteering. Finding out that it's hurting them in the long run would just suck.

I guess Saffron rocking my world so hard that the building we were in fell down kinda removed most of my worries about public sex. I mean, I'm still gonna be careful to be 'semi-public', because I know at some point two or more of us are gonna make some kind of mistake and one of our girls is gonna walk in and ask something like, 'how is Marie's claw coming out Mama's mouth' and I don't think they'll be distracted by me going on about how my ladies had already triple teamed orifices one through five. So I definitely don't want to be the one prompting that kind of question from somebody else's kid. I guess at the end of the day, it's our Temple, I mean mine and my Worshippers, and it's pretty clear that everybody knows what's gonna be happening, so if somebody's not cool with that, they don't have to be there. I mean, I don't think they have Revels except Fridays and Full and New Moons, so that's twenty two other days a month they could come to the Temple for whatever else they need.

I guess coming out as Mimic is something I've meant to do for a little bit now, and doing it this way... I guess it means I'm showing people who I intend to be. I'm not perfect, I'm not gonna fix every problem in their lives, because I don't think I can really do that. But I can listen. I can see them, accept them for who they are, and show them that at least one person in a position of wealth and power thinks they're worthy of acknowledgement, of praise, of reward. If that winds up being Mimic's legacy, treating my Worshippers as just as important, as special, as valuable as me, I can live with that.

So yeah, it started out as something where the thought of it freaked me out, and now less than six weeks into doing it, I'm walking that weird line I walked with duBois' classes. I enjoy the fuck out of it, and always feel better the next day, but I know it's gonna be a lot of work, and I might not like each and every detail.

Worship is pretty fuckin' great though.

I'm definitely getting into a pleasant pattern with my day to day as well. Came home with beef and gravy. Not even shoe leather beef, but a couple nice roasts that I tossed in a crock and left cooking covered up for a good chunk of the day. The Maenads gave me weird looks, but I gave them one of the crocks. The meat wound up just falling apart perfect, and they turned the drippings and juices into the awesome gravy I returned to the crocks and brought home. I think they delivered some of the gravy to the Dining Hall, because I didn't see them putting any on their roast, but then again, one roast divided amongst all of them didn't last long. I know I've tried to get 'actual well done meats' into the rotation before, but maybe this one will stick if we can get enough crocks.

I brought home a big bowl of salad, too, since Lindsey and Ria liked it. Girls loved the roast. Even Ria smiled after eating some. Only a tiny portion, but then she's always seemed a little bit non-carnivore. Not, like, vegan or anything like that, but even back at her mom's she always seemed to like the bread and veg more than the meat.

Speaking of bread, I delivered a special little loaf to her, and another to Maze. They scarfed that down like they'd been starving without it. Which isn't exactly true, but I'd just managed to make actual decent bread rather than horrible culinary abominations with Fae Grain. It's surprisingly difficult to work with. Not impossible, but it doesn't quite work like normal flour. It's almost like it's got some kind of anti-fungal properties, because the yeast dies like, fast when mixed in with the flour.

But now I knew how to do it, so I could make sure my Fae girls got their proper nutrition. They both snuggled in with Marie and I in the Bath after dinner, and if they looked a little bit maybe stoned, I wasn't gonna say anything. Just made a mental note that the loaves needed to be a little smaller.

Of course, I'd eaten at least one of the abominations to be able to see the Mana contained in the flour, because I thought maybe that was part of the trick to baking it. I was wrong, but that didn't leave me entirely perfectly sober when I collapsed back into myself for bath time. I'm totally blaming my minor gaffe on that.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Saffron, after making sure the smallest of our girls had gotten themselves properly washed, left Siobhan playing some kind of clapping game with most of our girls and floated back over to where Marie and our two Novices soaked quietly. "Hey, Kitten?"

"Yes, love?" She twisted around to lay on her back and floated straight up my front, eventually coming to a stop with her head pillowed on my breasts. Kid friendly docking maneuver complete. "Am I supposed to be in the Temple on Saturday?"

She shook her head. "No, love. The New Moon is on Sunday this week."

I thought about that for a minute. Made sense, what with the Moon's cycle being a little longer than twenty eight days. "What happens when the New or Full Moon is on a Friday?"

Saffron shrugged, which totally distracted me from my own question. They're real, they're magnificent, they float, and they capture my attention when she shrugs. Yes, I have my own set, but those are way less entrancing. "I have no idea, love. Perhaps they only have one Revel that week. You could ask Karen, though. I'm sure she's figured something out."

"Okay. Maybe I'll do that next time I drop the kids off at school."

"What do you do on Fridays, Papa?"

Weird. I'd thought that kind of question would freeze me up, that I'd wind up having to lean on Saffron to answer that kind of thing, but something about the innocent curiosity in my little pony girl's voice left me entirely unruffled. "Friday nights, New Moon nights, and Full Moon nights my Temples have Revels."

"Like, parties?"

I paused, thought about what I was gonna say. Realized that part of my unruffled state might well be due to chemically enhanced calm. "Adult parties, yes. Some of the things people do are very adult things."

"Like sex?" Of course Ria knew about sex, while also not knowing it might be anything like a taboo topic. Then again, while it wasn't something you wanted kids getting interested in too soon, maybe it being taboo was kind of a problem, too.

I nodded. "Sex happens during those Revels, yeah."

I heard the gremlin in Maze's voice when she asked, "so you go to the Temple and have sex with people?" Yeah, she grew up in mercenary camps. Probably knew way more than she ought to about sex too.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Well, sometimes. But that's not why I'm there."

"Why are you there, then?"

"To show people I care about them. To listen to them. To see them as people, not just walking, talking sources of Worship. To maybe use the power they give me from Worshipping me to make their lives a little bit... nicer." I couldn't even say I made their lives better with what I did. I wasn't giving them food, or shelter, or any kind of thing they could use to build with. Okay, maybe medical care, I'd definitely Cure and Heal anybody who needed it, not as the 'thing I did for them', but just because they're my people and they deserve to live healthy. Which popped another thought into my head, which I shelved as Ria asked her next question.

"How do you do that?"

I hugged them both. "By listening. By paying attention. When one of my Worshippers is there, alone, with me, on the Altar in the Temple? I can kind of see inside them, see things they want. Things they maybe don't realize they want, or realize but don't think they deserve."

"What if they don't deserve them?"

I thought about that for a second, which I really hadn't done before. "Well, the ones join me on the altar are the ones who work or volunteer at my Temple. Temples, now. My Temples are full of people trying to make the world around them a better place."

"By teaching people?" I nodded. "Feeding them?" I nodded again. "Playing music?"

"Yep."

"Where does the sex come in?" Maze asked.

Kitten? I can't tell if she's actually interested, and needs The Talk, or is just messing with me. Us. Me.

Or perhaps they're simply curious what their mother does during her mysterious nights away from home. We'll all keep an eye out and our ears open, though.

Yes. Marie's simple statement made my already receding tension evaporate.

I turned to Maze, giving her a smile to know that my hesitation wasn't anger, or that she'd asked something inappropriate. I mean, I'm her mom. She's supposed to ask me about sex, right? "Sex can cause really strong emotions. For people who want to feel something, whether it's wanting to feel loved, or wanted, or safe," Devon's face floated past my mind's eye, "or even powerful, doing things that let them feel that way during sex can make them feel it that much more." Then I remembered fuckin' Cadet Brat and shrugged. "Some of them just think it's really fun."

"Is it?"

I smiled and shook my head. "If you do it right. If you care about the person you're with enough to do it right, and they care enough about you to do the same, yeah, it can be."

Ria piped up. "Sex can be done wrong?"

I chuckled, and Saffron echoed my quiet laughter, but before either of us could respond, Marie said, "Yes."

Before either of them got the wrong idea, I explained, "sex can be a lot of different things to different people. If you do it for the wrong reasons, or try to do things you or someone else involved isn't able to do, it can get pretty awful." I paused in thought. "But if everybody involved wants to be there, and is being careful with themselves and everyone else, and making sure everyone is having fun, or getting whatever they need to get out of it? It can be as awesome as it can be awful."

"So it's like Shaping?" asked Ria.

"Or cooking?" Maze asked before I could answer Ria.

I waited a moment, but Marie and Saffron both turned to me. "What? Why are you both looking at me?"

Saffron rolled all the way over and propped her chin up on her hands. "She doesn't Shape. I don't cook.. You, my love, are the one of us who does both."

I lay there with my mouth open for a second, then shrugged. "Yeah. I guess so. If you do it wrong, it can be all kinds of bad, but if you pay attention, put the time and effort in, it can be wonderful."

"Is that why you guys do it so much?" I just stared at Maze, flabbergasted. "What? Sometimes I wake up to pee and you guys have gone off somewhere, but you're back by morning. Sometimes even before I get back from the toilet."

"Yes, Mazikeen, we do it often because we enjoy making each other feel special and wanted and good," Saffron rode in to my rescue. "And yes, Ria, when you're ready to begin experimenting, any or all of us will answer whatever questions you have regarding partner selection, technique, or whatever else you need to know."

Our two Fae girls looked at her, looked at each other, and broke into giggles as they hugged us. Not sure I quite understand why, but fuck it, questions answered, and they didn't seem like they felt any kind of way about how we answered them. Achievement Get: Initial Sex Talk Complete.

Now we just had to do that again five more times.

Thirteen. Marie corrected, sliding me up her burgeoning baby belly.

Fourteen, thought Siobhan, grinning at us over the heads of the smaller girls.

Just for that, you two are handling Alex and Lindsey.

Fortunately none of our girls felt the need to ask the four of us what had us giggling for the rest of the night.

Today I realized I'd definitely settled into a routine, and that despite the dirty dishes, the laundry, and even a bit of stable and habitat cleaning? I really loved it. Especially the bits where I got to focus on my ladies and my girls, but even the bits where I was just helping keep the Academy running just... felt right.

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