Dear Diary,

I've said it before, I'll say it again, I don't understand women, and I are one.

Well, okay, I'm a woman most of the time. I've got that whole gender fluid thing going on, and the oddest part is that's not really connected to my Shapeshifting or Mimicry. Ninety nine minutes out of a hundred, I'm one hundred percent woman, and that includes most of those moments when for one reason or another, probably related to sex, I present fully as a man. Yeah, I'm in a guy body at those moments, and I get some traditionally guy impulses, but then I've typically done that explicitly to either experience sex with someone as a guy or because someone else wanted to experience sex with me in guy form. It's full body guy cosplay as much as anything, really.

But there are moments where... that just isn't the case. Yeah, more of those moments are ones where I'm just not feeling my womanhood, and I'd probably, right at that moment, click 'other'. But now and then, maybe like once or twice in my life, I've felt otherwise. Some of them I think might have been times when I wasn't presenting as a guy, which is weird, because, y'know, I can now. But I didn't need the twig and berries to feel my essential manhood at the time. I think at least one of those times had to do with Maze calling me papa. Of course a couple others were in the middle of our wedding night, when I was balls deep in my Murder Mittens and wanted to go deeper. Shit, at least one of those occasions I didn't have balls, and one other I didn't even have the twig, let alone the berries. I guess maybe some part of that is why I have to go full boy mode to make with the baby making. I haven't asked Saffron the why of that, and now I'm not sure if I really want to. Although it's really kind of making me way less worried about a potential tenth kid on the way to remember that I was in fact 'woman plus' rather than 'man' Thursday night.

I dunno. Maybe all that shit is just 'masculine impulses' or something. Fuck if I know. I'm a woman with fluid impulses and the ability to shapeshift in multiple ways for reasons ranging from sublime to obscene. But just because I am a woman does not mean I understand other women on a regular basis.

Probably why I didn't quite get Tallulah's whole dispassionate desire to procreate with me, if that was even a real thing. Or Saffron being so absolutely okay with me doing so, or even just talking about it. Because while I adore watching my Kitten get her groove on with anybody who catches her eye, if she wound up in a family way from one of those encounters, I'm pretty sure I'd be all 'aw, I wanted next', and thinking about deliberate Kitten impregnation by someone other than me makes every bit of me, from brain to bone to tentacle to shadowy lurking being from beyond Time cry out, 'MINE!' Which isn't really fair to anyone, Saffron included. But it's the truth. I guess maybe if she came to me wanting someone else's kid, maybe I might feel different. But anyone else wanting her to bear their child? Even Siobhan or Marie? Okay, maybe Siobhan or Marie. Maybe. But only because those deep, dark, hidden portions of me look at both of them and growl 'mine' almost as loud. Or maybe they give me a taste of that same wild fuckn' gremlin energy as that impish 'too late!'

At any rate, fun times with Tallulah were fun, and having Saffron whisper how beautiful the two of us were did not detract from that in the slightest. Still not used to having someone call me beautiful. I mean, yeah, that happened back in the day, but it was always somebody tryna get into my pants. Which, to be clear, Saffron does want to do, but she has zero compunctions about saying so. Which means if she calls me beautiful, I know she's not just trying for hoo hah access, she's actually admiring my physical form. Which is weird, but kinda nice.

Everybody piled into the bed at the inn, with Tallulah and Marie tucked under my arms, Saffron and Siobhan snuggled up on the far side of Marie. Karen went to lie down on the couch, and Saffron cut her off, saying, "what do you think you're doing, Karen?"

"Lying down to sleep?"

"All alone?"

"I, uh.... well..."

I felt both of them shift around a little, and Siobhan quietly said, "come, Karen. There's no need for you to lie cold and alone, unless you'd prefer that?"

So we all snuggled in and slept. Dreamt of my ladies all snuggled up on islands made of each other, slowly sinking forever into my Maw.

Yesterday we hit the town again. More food that vaguely reminded me of... not Tex-Mex, not more generalized 'Hispanic' food, but... Caribbean, maybe? Definitely had some PR flavors, some more Dominican.

We went to that song and dance masked show thing again. Again, it reminded me of something, but I could not for the life of me figure out what. They did a different story this time. The 'hero' wore a Rabbit mask, and it seemed like one of those 'smart little guy beats the powerful arrogant guy' tales, but I could not for the life of me be sure. As I watched it, I realized that there was definitely something wrong, but I couldn't tell what. I mean, something other than the ridiculous stupid 'break into song and dance at dramatic moments' thing.

By dinner time we found a nice sit down restaurant place. Honestly, those weren't real common here and now, so I had a bit of nostalgia with all of us sitting at the table eating tamales and roast pork and mashed plantains that I got a sudden rush of brains to the head. I looked at our waitress and asked, "are you guys Taino?"

She blushed and shook her head, but something told me she recognized the name. I didn't want to push, so I let it slide, but when we got back to the room Saffron remembered. She also sent Karen to let my Temples know I'd be otherwise engaged for the night.

While I Blended our room into figment status, Saffron pulled Tallulah and I over to the sofa, stripping our clothes off as she did. Mine and Tallulah's, just to be clear. "What's Taino, love?" Did anyone notice anything new today?

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

As she spun me around and flopped my butt on the couch, I grumped out, "why are we on the sofa?" Then, as she pulled me back upright, said, "native... not exactly Atlanteans? Locals from the islands to the southeast." I know something's off, but other than the bit about some of the food being maybe Taino, which would mean some of the people are too, I can't put my finger on anything.

"You're right, love." Saffron spun one of the armchairs around to face the bed, shoved me into it, then bodily lifted Tallulah up and hooked her legs over the arms of the chair. "There we are, now we can all lounge comfortably on the bed and watch you." Anyone else?

Tallulah leaned back and draped her arms behind the back of the chair, which filled my face with the space between her shoulder blades. "I prefer to look at my partners, but... as you wish, Imperator." I specifically watched for Mortals using Blend today. Such a thing is difficult to confirm, of course, but I believe along with the Fae-like illusions, large numbers of the local service folks are using Blend or something similar.

From over near the bed, Saffron said, "there. Can the three of you all see?" That is concerning. Karen, you and I will look for that specifically tomorrow.

At that point Tallulah whispered, "it's been quite a while since I stretched like this, Tabitha. Could you push my thighs down?" Shall I continue to do so?

I looked around her to see her hips suspended like two inches above me, I reached around, gripped her shoulders, and gently pressed down, like I was helping someone stretch in PT. Meanwhile Karen asked, "why are we watching again?" I'd feel safer if the Overlord kept an eye on us, to make sure our behavior hasn't been influenced.

"To make sure there is no doubt as to the sire of Tallulah's child, of course." So the two of us looking for Blended individuals, Tallulah watching over us, and Tabitha, Marie, and Siobhan remaining on the lookout for whatever has Tabitha so bothered. "Well? Be about it, love. We're all waiting."

Yeah, really fuckin' weird. I've been turned on by watching my ladies, and also by having them turned on by watching me. I'm also, I guess, being watched on the altar, but when I'm doing that somehow my world narrows to me and whoever I'm with. Having four people watching me just to make sure who put the bun in Tallulah's oven felt oddly impersonal. Right then she whispered, "I believe all the others have had you deliver them to your altar, spent, at least twice now, save me."

Marie chose that moment to chime in, "Once Here."

Tallulah froze. "Oh. Oh, am I... you of course have precedence. Shall I..."

At that point Marie cut her off with a simple, "Vlickies, Exhaust."

I am a dutiful wife and followed my Murder Mittens' directions. No idea why, but pleasing the consciousness out of one of my High Priestesses while the others Worshipped was somehow entirely different than my lovers watching me fill a friend with baby batter. Okay, it's obvious why when I put it that way.

Today we hit the town again. We wandered around, hand in hand in hand, all of us enjoying the weather, the views, the food, and most of all the company. I realized that even if the whole situation with Tallulah was some kind of weird distraction to keep anyone spying on us from realizing we were a recon team rather than a vacationing polycule maybe giving a new member a test drive, that was less fake than it might have been. I mean, yeah, I hadn't come here with the intent of starting the process of having yet another kid, but for all that she was as stiff as some kind of android, Tallulah was a smart woman with an eye for details; she spotted more interesting views than the rest of us put together, and the only person who could pick out subtle flavors better than her was Marie.

We watched that weird show again, although this time the 'Bad Guy' was a really awful multi-actor puppet Water Panther. It chased 'Lily' while 'Rabbit' threw every fuckin' slapstick trap in the world in front of it, eventually getting it to chomp it's own tail in fury, at which point it ate itself. All of that was one long song and dance number, by the way. So fuckin' weird.

I kinda realized, as we wandered around the town looking for some place to have dinner, that despite being sort of big and spread out, Muscogee didn't have many big buildings, and definitely didn't have anything approaching 'watch towers'. Like, the only high places where you could see for any distance were hills in the middle of little public parks, and the views were always gorgeous, but rarely anything like militarily useful. Hell, the only one that overlooked the port did so at an angle that kind of looked across the docks, which meant any ships behind the Questing Tentacle wound up completely obscured.

I thought about some of those views, and watching my ladies' faces as they took them in. Ladies? They all turned to look at me, tensing slightly. Can we maybe, um, be a little less, uh, exclusive tonight? I definitely felt warm and fuzzy in my chest and maybe a little warm and damp elsewhere when all of them turned to me and smiled. Each of them nodded in turn, and each of those nods etched my smile a little deeper. No idea why Tallulah taking my hand and interlacing our fingers as she did so hit me so hard, but it did. Marie's arm went around me from the other side, and Siobhan reached out shyly from where she walked sorta squished in between Marie and I to take my hand in both of hers. A moment later Karen boosted Saffron up to ride on my shoulders; I felt my Kitten's pout almost entirely obscured by a deep sense of satisfaction, of hidden guilty pleasure at sitting where she sat, at the feel of my neck between her thighs.

I realized right then that no matter why we'd come here, this was absolutely the honeymoon vacation I'd wanted, maybe even longed for, without even realizing I'd done so.

The moment I thought that, everything clicked into place. Holy shit. Ladies? They all kinda snuggled me, fragmentary visions of very non-exclusive activities floating to me from each of them. I stopped walking and just listened as they all stood there, hands wandering to me and to each other. Not in any kind of really sexual way, but the kind of way lovers might touch one another in public, just to feel one another close by. Meanwhile none of the locals in sight really paid much attention to us. Which they hadn't, not unless we went up to one of them, at which point I knew without a doubt that they'd be all smiles, talking with the obvious tourists, maybe tryna sell us kitchey shit like they'd done every time we spoke with a local for the past two days. Okay, the food vendors just sold us food, but I realized right then that at no point had we had to wait in line for street food. Maybe waited for the person they were serving to get their food and walk away, but there was never a line.

Even fuckin' Drivers had a fuckin' line.

Holy. Fuckin'. Shit. This isn't a City. My ladies tensed just a little at that, turning to face me. Although all of them were either consummate professionals and kept up the ruse by getting just the slightest bit more handsy with me, or were absolutely down for engaging in some public PDA with me.

So what is it, love? Saffron mentally asked, while her fingers in my ears made it almost impossible for me to concentrate on my answer.

It's a fuckin' theme park resort.

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