Dear Diary,

Yeah, I definitely need to sort something out with the whole chronic pain thing. I mean, mine's pretty manageable compared to some I've read about. Days when I'm at my best and not doing a whole lot to aggravate them, I hardly notice them. Yeah, if I stop and think 'do they hurt', the answer is 'yes', but they're not actively interfering with me living my life. So given that, it makes me feel like my chronic pain 'isn't real' or some shit like that. Because while it's real, it's not normally something that interferes with me living my life. Maybe living my absolute best life, but not living a decent one and they don't actually hurt enough to stop me from doing what I want to do.

Of course, it does not help me that I don't know what triggers that shit. Okay, I know that getting hurt definitely does, and that can make any serious injury that much worse. When one of the kaiju lands a shot on me, they flare up. I'm pretty sure that when I push myself they flare up too, but I'm not sure exactly which things count, because I've done some shit that feels big that has left me fine, and done other shit that didn't feel as stressful at the time that left me down for the count, and the flare ups follow that same pattern. I mean, I guess even those 'fine' times they might have flared a little, but more into the 'yes, I am in some amount of discomfort or pain' rather than 'oh, fuck me, or possibly pump me full of drugs, because ow'.

I'm mentioning this because the past couple days have definitely been gradually making my scars worse. Like, on that old pain scale that hung on the nurse's office wall back in the day, I think I'd been at a three before the kaiju attacks. Maybe on a two for days when everything went just right. Since they started, though, my scars have been acting up off and on, and I didn't realize it, but now I think it may have been how much mass of kaiju was moving through the area coated by my M-Space tentacles. Call it a four. Which means that keeping track of my Poseidon punching plans has become harder. I remember that whole chart beyond about four talked about 'pain preventing activities', starting at 'some', then moving to 'unable to move' at ten. Which means I don't think I've ever really been at a ten.

Okay, yeah, I have. Right after I healed New Amsterdam. But I don't think I have since then.

Wait, fuck, after I summoned the Black Dragon, and subsequently killed ten of me messily.

But other than those two very specific instances, I've always been able to move and fight and do physical things. That might be adrenaline or other endorphins kicking in, but the thing about all that is that long term planning and self-control and other things that are important for my whole plan to not be a monster worthy of slaying go out the window when I'm up around an eight or nine. No way I'd have deliberately taunted that poor bitch of a Dragon just to improve her taste and mouth feel if I was in full control of myself. I think maybe that's one of the big things that happens with my scar pain; the more it flares, the less I can resist the impulses of my fatass alter ego.

So yeah, for the past couple weeks my pain has been flaring up to a four, maybe edging into five, possibly up to six right after detaching myself from direct possession of tentacles. Thing is, not long after that first big wave at the end of the day yesterday, something more than a faint, weird itch hit. I hadn't really felt anything like it since that first time Loki took me to see his cave. Pain, a kind of phantom pain from a limb that didn't properly exist or connect to me, but it manifested as a nasty cramp in my left arm.

Perhaps one or more of the kaiju is able to enter Underhill?

Yeah. Maybe. Think the last time I felt pain like this was when you stabbed me then.

I do sincerely apologize for that, Daughter. Had I known...

Fuck, Dad. I didn't even know then. And to make it clear, you're pretty much the one person I can count on to reset all those pain flare ups back down to something approaching zero.

Your wives have certainly done so.

Okay, you're the one person who can do it without overwhelming my nervous system with dopamine, endorphins, or other drugs. Because you're the best.

I know.

Of course right then Saffron touched my face and asked, "is something wrong, love?" Because we'd all Co-Located to the Homestead for dinner. After my realization yesterday I knew she, they, my ladies were doing this for me, giving me some time to touch base the way they did every night while they slept, but my guilt at making them do family dinner just for me was, at least at the moment, overwhelmed by my guilt at the thought of spurning not only their gift, but the dinner the kids made.

Today's dinner was potatoes. I think Marie must have worked with the girls to turn the previous day's vegetable bear goo into gravy and stock and other shit, because when I said 'potatoes', I mean every variety that came to mind. Loaded baked potatoes slathered in butter, sour cream, and gravy. French fries with cheese and gravy. Potato stew, obviously made with that same stock. Croquettes filled with bits of shredded bear meat and cheese entombed in whipped potato. Potato bread, toasted into bowls for the stew. And, of course, whipped potatoes with butter and gravy.

"Eh. Dad thinks one of the kaiju might be dicking around in M-Space, laying into one of my tentacles directly."

She frowned. "Can you respond in kind?"

I shook my head. "I mean, maybe? It's possible? But I'd be risking losing track of everything for who the fuck knows how long, right as we know Fuckstain the Earthshaker has committed most of his kaiju."

She pouted. Okay, it was more an expression of adult frustration than a pout, but holy fuck did it make her cheeks and lips move into that optimum pout position. Think maybe the increased distraction left me less able to ignore my own impulses. Then again, it's not like the tentacles had the slightest aversion to do shit I'd normally do with my hands or other extremities. "Well. If we cannot respond in kind, I suppose at least we ought be thankful that one or more of the kaiju have distracted themselves."

I must have made a questioning noise as I nommed a wilted fry. I know most folks love the perfectly crispy ones, but somehow the wilty ones in this batch carried the flavors better. Also, the kids weren't anywhere near as deft or reliable as Marie, so along with the fries varying from 'totally crisped potato stick' to 'brown wilty grease tube', the salting varied from 'heart healthy' to 'salt lick'. Still, French fries made by my girls. Nom.

Saffron waited until I finished nomming. "What bothered you, love?"

I shrugged. "Not so much bothered. Just... Why is it better that they're holding a reserve, even inadvertently?"

She shook her head. "Were they doing so deliberately, I'd worry, but this seems more like disorganization causing them to trickle in at their own best pace. Which means that the battle becomes one of attrition, rather than a single wave that would easily overwhelm our defenses."

I thought about that a second, then nodded. "Is Poseidon an idiot or something?"

That got a laugh out of everybody at the table. Even the women visiting today looked more amused than shocked. It had that sort of 'our badass talking smack about their badass' feel to it, which I guessed I was fine with. Saffron shook her head and said, "well, yes, but mostly I think it's that he's not a war god. Not specifically, not like Ares, Athena, or Tyr." She paused to take a sip of soup, nodded and smiled appreciatively at the center table the kits had taken over as their own, then said, "if you think on it, storms are not known for their orderly nature. Nor the sea, really."

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I chuckled, finished my next fry, and asked the other thing that had bothered me just a little. Nodding at the bounty of potato products, I asked, "aren't these kinda spendy?"

She smiled warmly at me. "Oh, you think we would not splurge to indulge our Goddess? We are just the tiniest bit wealthy now, you realize?"

A frown crept across my face, and after taking a second to figure out why, I thought, "yeah, but potatoes are like, super high in calories, with a decent amount of vitamins and shit if you eat the skins." I looked to the girls. "You didn't throw the skins out, did you?"

Marie tipped her head and asked, "Why Not?"

"Well, y'know, on top of the whole 'they're super nutritious', if you fry them a little, throw some cheese and peppers and spices on them, then bake them a while, they're super tasty." I shook my head to get back on track. "But yeah, I'm mostly worried that us feasting on them will wind up cutting into the whole 'make them a staple crop for the Alliance' thing."

Saffron smiled, shaking her head. "Thank you for the information on the peels, love. I'll be certain to pass that on." She chuckled. "Of course, from what I'd heard they've mostly been used to grow new potatoes."

"I didn't think they could grow after you cooked them."

"I don't know precisely either, but that's why potatoes are presently 'a little spendy', not priceless beyond measure." I frowned, and she shrugged. "A poor family might need to limit themselves to one per adult at dinner, but most of them can afford them." She snorted. "To be honest, by now most of them grow them."

"How...?"

She smiled. "Bonnie and Larry." I must have looked super confused, because she chuckled and explained. "They needed projects for their Advanced Shaping class. They worked with a variety of Clergy, who are traditionally the only ones who pay attention to Shaping to improve crops." Her smile got a little wider. "They created two new Shapes, and while both are a little Mana intensive, they're also significantly more reliable and effective than the cobbled together Shapes the Clergy had used previously. One of the Shapes causes crops to grow far faster than normal. While the Mana cost was intense to do so, it has allowed entire crops to come to full maturity in a few weeks."

"Uh, that's great, but won't that ruin the soil?"

Her smile broadened into a grin, and I heard the laughter in her voice as she nodded and said, "That would be the purpose of the other Shape, which imbues the soil with the nutrients it needs to grow healthy crops. Between the two, focusing on fields of potatoes in the Lancaster House fields, they've produced enough to ship at least a bushel to each other farm in the Alliance, not to mention a few extras for those families living on Lancaster lands, and for friends of the Lancaster family."

"Okay, I guess getting 'extra potatoes' when everybody's got enough to start growing their own at a minimum, and nobody's starving, isn't exactly horrible, but why are you about to start laughing too hard to eat?"

She started snickering, and looked over at Tallulah. "You've... You've learned the Shapes, yes?"

T shrugged and nodded. "I've planted half of one bushel they sent the Overlord of Rich Man's Port Underhill, and the other half in the fields to be harvested and replanted. Well, once the spring thaw hits we'll replant; we can't be sure we won't hit a killing frost at this point in the year. But the Underhill fields are cycling nicely."

"So you know the names, yes?"

Tallulah nodded, then smiled slightly. "I suppose I see the humor."

"Did you know that while they worked in tandem, Bonnie insisted on naming them?"

Tallulah cocked her head. "Bonita insisted on her maiden name?"

Saffron, now snickering too hard to really get out a full sentence, said, "Nah. That's Larry. Tell her."

Tallulah turned to me, shrugged, and said, "the Spell to cause crops to grow at an accelerated rate is "Bonita Obol's Bountiful Harvest."

That wasn't half bad, really. "Yeah, okay. I like the alliteration she's got going with that. Wait, what's the other one called?"

My long tall Sidhe lady smirked and said, "Larry Lancaster's Puissant Fertilization." Then her smirked cracked and she joined Saffron laughing.

Yeah, that got me too. Every adult in the room wound up being declared 'silly' by the girls, but that, honestly, was completely okay with me.

After we all got cleaned up and soaked for a bit, I carried everybody down to bed. Before I tucked all my ladies in, though, Saffron snagged me and spirited us both off to the Bedroom. She kinda surprised me when she slipped out of my hands, rolled off the bed, and backed up to the cracked wall.

"Champion?"

"Yeah, Imperator?"

"Poseidon's epithet displeases me."

That... confused the fuck right out of me. "Okay. Um... why are we here then?"

"Attack dog?"

"Woof woof?"

She slipped her hands along the cracks in the wall, rubbing her ass against it and purring. "Demonstrate how well you shake the Earth."

Yeah, that put the fuck directly back into me, and I was proud of how I did not mash her against the wall that very second. "Yeah, um, I don't think you ought to have granulated hips with kaiju headed this way."

She smirked at me. "First of all, this wall cracked well before her hips granulated. Second, I am not stubborn enough to refuse Healing in the morning. Third, I am not the only one awaiting your demonstration." She glanced over at the Bed, where I only just then realized Marie and Tallulah were watching us, along with maybe doing some incidental pre-gaming. "Finally," I realized right then that without thinking I'd shifted over almost into kissing distance of my Tiny Tyrant, not to mention the tentacles that held her hands out to the sides, pinning her to the wall, but also letting her lift her legs to slip them behind my calves. "Once you've left me in need of that healing, and left our lovely Maenad in need of Sparagmos, we will both be watching from your Maw as you take advantage of the fact that it is no longer possible for you to play too rough with our newest Concubine."

I almost didn't hear Tallulah over someone whining like overstressed machinery. "I am curious about whether the Earth will actually shake, and whether I will be able to perceive it as a continuous thing through reinstatements. I look forward to finding out."

Yeah, I think I may have mentioned once or twice that I have a nerd fetish. Saffron slept in a little. Tallulah slept in a lot. Marie, courtesy of Madeline, was up bright and early and fresh as a daisy to Co-Locate and cover for them.

The wall has some new cracks in it.

Weird. Really weird. My scars flared when the kaiju started tromping through the Mortal Realm where my tentacles lurked in M-Space, and that got worse when one of them decided to vent some aggression directly. On the other hand, Worship, especially point blank Worship from my most devoted High Priestesses, acted like Divine endorphins. Not unlike being high, in a way. Yeah, in pain, but with a slowly ablating shield of fuck induced lack of fucks to give about that. Also, y'know, the dopamine and serotonin and endorphins of spending most of the night listening to Tallulah infodump about exactly how the System Spell rebuilding her impacted her high impact sexual experience. Which just fanned the fire, because nerd make Tabitha go BRRRT.

I think I might have been a little smug, too, with how frequently her commentary got interrupted by things other than rebuilds. Honestly, I might have kept her there through the day if, at some point well after midnight but before the sun came up she sighed and managed to force out, "I can only hope this has been as enjoyable for you as it has been for me, but I do need some sleep before morning."

"You wanna stop now?"

At that point she'd looked at me, Grinned a Grin worthy of Saffron at her wickedest, and said, "I think I'm less than fully intact at the moment. So perhaps after my next reinstatement?"

Yeah, according to her ongoing sexytimes lecture, she enjoys my enthusiasm. And that particular line got me very, very enthusiastic.

So yeah, spent the day atop the West Tower, atop the mast of the Black Dragon, and one final one of me finally getting the Biggest Clue and shifting over to M-Space to do my searching. Discovered the weirdest fuckin' thing when I finally got more than halfway across the Atlantic. Everything in a broad cone east and north of what I guessed was Iceland did not conform to the normal spherical geography of the Mortal Realm.

Instead, it was a fuckin' tree.

Took me most of the afternoon scouting around Blended to find what I was looking for, mostly shifting back and forth between looking at the island and looking at the tree itself. Worse, I realized I'd probably have to deal with the three chicks tending to the roots of the tree before I got what I was there for.

Before I could do more than decide to talk to them, I got interrupted in the most 'annoy the piss out of Tabitha' way possible. The me on the Black Dragon's mast, who'd been scanning the horizon with my binocs, spotted a bird. Which wouldn't normally be an issue, had not the bird just crested the horizon, with a wingspan too broad for it to fit into the binoc's field of view.

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