Well that didn't take as long as I had thought it would at all.

Not even three full days. And that included the half day from when we had arrived.

Staring at the dock I had just finished making, I wondered if maybe I had taken it a little too far.

Not only had I built two separate docks, I had even made it multi-leveled. I had built a lower section that was just barely submerged, perfect to use as to get up out of the river if swimming or having fallen in. Or just to relax, I guess. On the next level, the main dock section, I had built a railing. Up against it were some crates and boxes that I'd made with the excess wood to be used for storage and such, and even built a small canoe too. It was currently tethered to the larger dock, floating quietly.

The whole package. I'd even made a few buckets. The only thing I hadn't made was the fishing poles.

Honestly I hadn't needed to make it so nice, but I knew it was likely the last thing I'd ever do for these people… so I had wanted to do it justice.

Plus it let me stay busy and not have to deal with the awkward atmosphere.

Leaning against the railing I had just made, I sighed as I stared down at the dark river. It was deep, but its current wasn't too strong. The perfect river to not just fish but swim in.

"Too bad it's so cold, otherwise I'd invite Renn," I said softly as I thought about it.

Speaking of Renn… I wonder where she was. Usually by now she'd come out to talk to me.

Glancing up at the sky, I studied the lazy sun half hidden by clouds. It was about lunch time, so maybe she was helping Planci prepare it.

I had to give Renn credit, at least. She's kept trying to be friendly with them, even though they still were being distant.

Probably because they weren't being actually rude. They were just… unsure of themselves.

I remembered the two being the type to tell jokes. I usually only visited when they had requests, but I've never had any problems with them. No real ones, at least.

Like this one. This dock. Or the few repairs they had asked of me while here.

The negotiations for it had been easy. Simple. The young man who had arrived a few days ago had only wanted to see where we'd build it, and receive the signature and tax fee for it. He had left after, turning down their invitation to dinner. He had seemed… tired. Likely from overwork. He was new to his position, I guess.

Honestly they hadn't needed me. At least, not for the negotiations. And the fixes and bridge could have been handled in other ways too, such as hiring craftsmen. The Society did such a thing often when I was too busy or too far to get the job done.

Oh well.

"Now what…" I grumbled.

The dock was done. I'd fixed all the little things around their house and little gardens…

Maybe we should just leave? It was early enough in the day that they'd not find it weird. Plus, with them being so awkward right now it'd be a welcomed action…

"Might as well," I said with a sigh.

I was honestly trying to not rush to Lumen, even though I wanted to run there. So this had been a godsend in a way. I also hoped that Nebl would have some tasks for me, but I doubted it. The damned man was too prideful to ever ask me to do something as basic as fix a roof or something.

Right as I turned to head back to the house, I found Renn hurrying over. She had a wooden basket in her arms, with a cloth draped over it and was smiling happily.

I felt my body relax a little as she grinned at me and picked up her pace. I didn't need to smell the contents of the basket she carried to know it was our lunch.

"Few more hours won't hurt," I whispered. How was it she always seemed to know my hidden desires?

Renn slowed as she approached, her grin turning into a mischievous smirk as she lifted the basket to show it off to me. "A thank you! Some kind of pie!"

"It does smell good," I said as she pulled back the cloth as to reveal the treat. Or well, treats.

There was far more than a pie in there. A wine-skin, some bread and other baked goodies… and…

Reaching in, I pulled out the little letter. The one that had their stamp in the paper itself. Their little feather design of a quail.

"Oh? I didn't see her put that in," Renn frowned at it as I turned it around, since it was more like a postcard than anything else. Not a normal letter.

"Thank you for everything. For all these years. I hope no matter where we all go, you and her find true happiness," I read the small note.

"What…? That's like a goodbye letter. Why would she put that in now?" Renn asked as she shuffled the basket, as to grab the letter from me.

I exchanged with her, taking the basket. She took a deep breath and sighed as she read what I had just said aloud, shaking her head softly at it.

"She knows we'll be leaving here in a few moments. She's likely been making these all day, preparing for it," I said as I reached in to grab one of the little bread items. It looked like it was caked with honey.

"Oh… I thought maybe we'd leave in the morning instead," Renn said as she glanced past me, to the dock behind me.

"No reason to linger Renn, especially when I make the people here uncomfortable," I said as I took a bite.

"You do… but they don't hate you Vim. Not really. They opened up a little to me, not much, but enough. Plus no one would make someone they hated a gift basket!" she said as she smiled at the thing in my hand.

"On the contrary. You'd be surprised at what people will do for those they despise," I said.

Renn sighed at me. "Let's not talk about that. I want to eat some too, can we sit on your dock and eat?" she asked happily as she stepped past me.

"S'not my dock…" I mumbled between bites as I went to follow her.

She paused before it, where there was dirt and grass before wood, and studied it for a moment. I wasn't really sure what she was looking for, since she'd practically help build it with me. She did indeed try her best to be friends with the birds here, but she had also spent most of the time here with me. Either helping me build the dock, or just simply sitting and watching me as I worked without saying anything.

I kind of liked it, oddly. I was used to being watched, or receiving a lot of questions, while I worked around a member's home… but usually it's the young who did such a thing. Nowadays even my friends, like Nebl, didn't really talk to me much anymore. A part of growing… old.

Renn though didn't just like to chat with me, she'd help or just sit and be near me with a happy smile on her face without complaint. Although it worried me that I was being… neglectful of her, in a way, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

I enjoyed her presence. Whether she was as silent as a cat during its stalking or yapping away without a care in the world, both were pleasant.

"Can we sit on the edge?" she asked as she went to sit down. She undid the little strap that held the spear in place on her back as she did, so she could lay it down next to her as she sat. She dangled her legs over the ledge, under the railing I'd built.

"Why couldn't we?" I asked her as I went to join her. I sat next to her, but kept enough room between us as to put the basket there.

Unlike Renn I had to slouch a little, as to not bump my head into the railing piece right above my head.

"You're not going to break it right?" she asked as she quickly went to putting away the letter from the birds and went to digging out food from the basket.

"I'll not break it, no," I promised. I'd made it rather sturdy, but I knew better than to tell her that. She knew full well nothing was sturdy enough. No matter how it had been made.

All the homes of gods I'd broken over the years were proof of that.

Before she had finished the pie and went to work on the other little snack items, some ducks had arrived. A few dozen showed up, noisily quacking up at Renn in a way that told me that they were likely very used to being fed.

"Are they ducks Vim? They don't smell like Nasba," Renn asked as she grabbed one of the smaller muffins from the bag, as to break it into tiny pieces and throw it to the animals not far from our dangling feet.

"Those? They are ducks Renn. Yes," I said, smilingly gently as I teased her.

Renn shifted, glanced at me in disbelief… and then laughed. "I meant Gary and Planci, Vim! Sheesh!"

"No. They're quails," I told her.

"Ah… those little birds? I wonder if that's why they're so… odd," she said softly.

"Hm," I shrugged as I watched one of the largest ducks in the group hurry forward, pushing aside others as to nibble at the pieces of bread Renn was feeding them.

Odds are these things were fed well. Planci and Gary must feed them, based off the way they're so used to it.

"They seem used to being fed," Renn noted, thinking the same thing.

"Well… they are birds," I said.

Renn giggled at that and nodded.

For a long moment we sat there as I watched her feed the small animals. I was a little surprised to watch her tear up and feed them not just a few muffins, but even parts of the nicer snacks. Like the ones made with care and honey.

I didn't stop her though. Especially since I liked the happy smile on her face as she did so.

She paused a moment as she tore up another piece of bread, but instead of feeding the ducks she went to feeding herself.

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"Am I stupid, Vim?" she then asked.

A little stunned by the sudden question, I glanced around a bit to see if something had happened or something. Once I confirmed nothing had, and no one was near, I placed my full focus on her.

"No…? Not at all. You're actually a little too smart for your own good, to be honest. Why?" I asked.

"Because I don't understand people, Vim."

Understand people…? "You mean them," I said with a small nod to the house behind us.

She nodded. "And so many more. How can they vote against you Vim? And then have the gall to ask you for help? What are they going to do when they need help again, and now you're not there to help them? How come so many of them can't see it? Do they see something I don't?" she asked seriously.

"You can't explain emotion, Renn. And that's what most of it is," I said.

She gestured at the ducks. "Look at these things. They saw us sit down, never have seen us before, but they knew that if they came over they'd get fed a little bit. Even little animals like them have common sense," she said.

I laughed at that. "Who am I in this scenario? The duck or the pretty cat feeding them and lulling them into a false sense of security?" I teased her.

Renn's hat shifted as her ears fluttered. She turned to gawk at me for a moment, then laughed loudly. "Vim!" she shouted between her laughs.

Yes, yes. So funny.

But I had been slightly serious too.

Once she calmed down she sighed. "I'm just trying to comprehend it, Vim. It's why I talked with The Chronicler and the rest of them. To try and understand. But even after doing it, I just can't. I get it, they have prophecies and ideals and dreams… but even if those prophecies were true, even if they desired a perfect world or whatever… why not still be realistic? Why not still acknowledge that you're more useful than not?" she asked.

Although I didn't want to have this conversation again, since we'd been having it a lot lately… I knew better than to change topics or avoid it. The fact she kept bringing it up was proof of how badly it was bothering her. And that meant, as both her protector and her husband, I had a duty to qualm those turbulent fears and emotions.

But how?

"Well… I can't answer it, Renn. Other than the fact that, as I've said many times, in their perspective I am in fact more trouble than I am worth. So to them their reasoning is justified, and not based entirely on emotion," I said.

"How do they justify you being more trouble than you're worth Vim? What have you done to make them think that?" she asked as she gestured at the basket between us, telling me who she was speaking of.

"Honestly I don't know, Renn. Same with Sheilla. Or many of the others who have voted against me. But that's just it, me knowing what I did or didn't do does not change the fact that I have done something. I've erred somehow, and that's all that matters. Whether I know how I did so or not doesn't matter," I said.

Renn tossed a piece of bread at me. It hit me in the forehead and bounced off, then off my knee and into the water. The ducks splashed around as they all went to eat it.

"Am I wrong, Renn?" I asked her.

"No… you're not. That's the problem. I can't argue with you, not really."

I nodded. "Thus why we Stand Tall, Renn. Or at least, try to," I said softly.

She nodded back. "Right… for jerks who don't deserve it," she mumbled as she went to tossing more pieces of bread into the water.

Possibly. But I'd not voice such a thing aloud here. Not now.

"You do not have to do what I do, Renn," I said softly.

She paused mid-throw as to glance at me. "Hm?"

"You can choose a different path, you know. Apart from mine. It is your right," I told her.

Renn blinked at me a few times, and then frowned at me. "You mean… do what you won't? Or do you mean literally? As in if you step down as protector, I could take your place or something?" she asked.

"Either way. Just whatever you do, make sure it's what makes you happy. That's all I ask," I said.

Renn smiled at me. "I like how you try to tell me your opinions while doing so in such a round-about way, Vim."

I sighed at her. "If you realize what I'm doing, don't admit it so openly. That ruins the point," I said.

She chuckled at me. "I'm just venting Vim. I was going to latch onto your lap like you did mine, but I don't want to do that while you're wearing clothes," she said.

I reached up to cup my eyes, sighing at her.

For a moment my world was just her happy giggling, the ducks quaking, and the sound of the slow flowing river… but eventually an odd silence enveloped the world.

Glancing around as Renn slowly finished feeding the ducks, I wondered if it was going to storm later.

I didn't want it to. I planned to take Renn the long way to Nebl's from here, as to show her the field of flowers. If it was too nasty weather wise then there was no point doing so.

Looking down at the ducks, I studied them. They looked like the typical water fowl you found in this region, and looked healthy. And not just because they likely got a steady supply of food from those like Planci and Gary.

They were a good sign of how healthy this region was. Its ecosystem was strong.

A good thing considering not far north just had tremendous fires. Right now they were likely still wastelands, but that'd not be the case for long. In only a few years time lush forests would return, and all the life they brought.

"Hey Vim."

Glancing away from the ducks, I found her looking at me from under some messy bangs. Usually she parted or tucked them under her hat, but it seemed they were getting so long that it was more trouble than it was worth to do so.

Honestly I liked it when her hair was unruly.

"What should I say to Merit… when we see her?" she then asked.

Merit…? An odd thing to bring up here and now. But… it made sense. We were heading to Lumen, even if it'd be several days before we got there.

"Why not just hug her or something?" I asked.

She smiled at that and nodded. "I plan to. I read a few of the letters she sent you, and Lilly and Windle told me she's sent letters to them talking about how she's concerned for me too… so I know she's not upset with me. Not really. But I still… feel like I've wronged her," Renn said.

Oh.

"You didn't steal me from her Renn. I was never hers to begin with, not in that way," I said carefully as I understood her meaning.

My wife slowly nodded, but her smile began to fade away. "I know, Vim. I do. Really. But… still! You're so much older than me, and you've had relationships before… plus you've dealt so well with emotional things, with people, such as with Tosh and stuff… surely you have an idea? Any advice for me at all?" she asked.

I'd tease her if not for the fact she looked like she was about to weep.

Reaching over, I patted her gently on the back. "Just be her friend, Renn. All the years I've known Merit, there is only one factor I can confidently tell you about and it is her desire to cherish those she considers friends. The entire reason she had made her kingdom back then was for them. She herself hadn't even really liked being queen. So if you just be a friend, a very good one, I'm sure she'll be happy beyond measure," I said.

"How do you be such a friend, Vim? And even then shouldn't I still say something? Apologize? Or should I just… tell her I understand? Or…?" Renn hesitated as she lifted the remaining bits of bread, making the ducks noisy for a moment… but she didn't toss any of it to them. She was too focused on our conversation to notice them, even as noisy as they were with their quaking and honking.

"Hm… honestly Renn I'm not sure what to tell you. Merit's wiser than most give her credit for. So I don't think you really have to worry about it anyway. She's old enough, as you should be, to know not to allow the awkwardness of the situation ruin a genuine relationship. Especially since for her, such things are all that matter to her anymore. Or at least all that did matter to her," I said.

Renn sighed at me. "You're not being much help, Vim."

I nodded. "Well… I'll be honest Renn, I've always made sure to keep a small distance from Merit. You see she used to be very… pushy about her desires. After she was willing to admit it, even to my face. For a bit there was a time I couldn't even go near her without feeling terrible. Once she learned that I wasn't going to return her feelings, and accepted such a fact, she became much more bearable. Now she just pretends to hate me, as you've seen," I said.

"So… you've just allowed her to choose how you two act with one another? You take your rules and ethos to such lengths?" she asked, sounding a little annoyed over it.

"Kind of. I've always been gentle with Merit, Renn. I try to be kind with all of our members, with everyone. But I've always had a soft spot for those who were abused for long periods of time. Merit is one of them. I've always considered her feelings for me to be thanks to her trauma induced issues. Which makes me feel like an asshole, thus why I avoid it when I can," I admitted.

Renn shifted a little. "That doesn't explain us, Vim. Why don't you avoid me then?" she asked.

Oh…?

Wow. So she did know full well of her trauma and the cracks it had caused in her psyche. Fascinating.

"For one you didn't fall in love with me as a way to hide from your trauma. Or an excuse for it. And secondly… everyone has trauma, Renn. Just in different shapes and forms is all. Just as everyone faces them in different ways," I said.

Renn had issues, but they weren't that type. At least, I didn't believe them to be.

She smirked at that. "Who says I didn't, Vim? I'll have you know you're basically my medicine, and I've considered you such nearly since we met," she said.

"Medicine…?" I asked.

Renn sat up a little straighter, and squished some of the bread in her hands as she began to mumble as she looked away from me. "Well…! I didn't have a good word for it, so just used that… I mean… well…" She distracted herself for a moment by crumbling up the bread over the water, for the ducks. Once she ran out and only had crumbs left over, which she went to brushing off, she nodded and finished. "You. This life. The life we have together, now. It's everything I've ever wanted, and needed. It's so wonderful that now I can't even imagine not having it, or having you. I'll be honest Vim… a few times in my life I've thought about dying. Just recently I realized such thoughts now sicken me, and make me hate the me I used to be. You and the Society are what fixed that, so…"

Deeply humbled, I realized there was no point in holding back at this moment. I leaned over, slightly pushing against the basket as I did. The way I had done it so smoothly must have been startling her as I went to give her a kiss, because she sat up so quickly she had bumped her elbow into one of the pillars of the railing, flinching as she did.

I paused a moment as she glanced at her arm and elbow, glaring at it, then she turned to look at me again. I noticed the way she had tossed aside the pain and shock swiftly, so knew it was okay to continue. Before I could reach her lips though, a duck leapt up at us. It flapped its wings, quaking like crazy as it headed for Renn's lap, where it likely believed more food lay in wait.

Renn turned to look at it, startled by the thing, making my lips miss their mark. She startled again, turning to look at me as I sighed at her and myself.

I reached out, pushing away the duck that was flapping wildly in front of us. It hurriedly turned and flew off. Scared that I had reached out and touched it.

"Did… you just kiss my cheek?" Renn asked as she reached up, touching the spot that I'd just kissed.

The tiny white scar that she ran her fingertips along made me feel weird. As if I was a failure in more ways than one.

Of all the spots...

"Hm… the world really doesn't want us getting intimate does it?" I said as I glanced down at the few remaining ducks. Many of them had swum off during the commotion, likely thanks to the lack of food being given.

"What…! Vim!" Renn shouted at me, but laughed as she did.

Basking in her laugh, I sighed and wondered what I was going to do with her… and myself.

So my wife had thoughts of suicide before, had she? How very sad.

I'm glad that her life now was so wondrous she didn't have such thoughts, but I knew how quickly that could change.

Maybe I should just suck up my disdain and put my anger aside for now. Stay the protector, and ignore and forgive Light and the rest for their stupid schemes and failures.

It'd go against my own rules, in a way, but… it'd keep her happy, at least.

And right now wasn't that all that mattered?

"Vim."

Turning to look at her, I found her smiling gently as she lifted her chin a little, waiting expectantly.

"A kiss on the cheek wasn't enough?" I asked.

"It was! That was the first time you've ever done that. But I barely felt it or noticed, since I was distracted! I hit my arm, then that duck… So I want another, this time I'll pay full attention to it," she said.

First…?

Wait.

"First time? Ever?" I asked. Surely not, right?

"Hm?" Renn nodded as her happy expression softened a little, but at least didn't turn into a frown.

Impossible, right?

I've not kissed her on the cheek? Not once? After all this time…?

And instead of asking for a real kiss, she just wants another on the cheek? It was that important to her?

By my parents maybe I really did have a problem. A real one and not some misplaced one I tried to use as an excuse, too.

Maybe there really was something wrong with me. Usually I was quite a flirt with those I got close to.

My excuse for not wanting to take it too far with her was no longer a valid one. I didn't fear anymore that I'd lose interest in her, or she me. So…

Renn patiently waited, lifting her cheek to me as she tried her best to not grin too wildly. She looked like she was having the time of her life. A stark contrast to her worried expression and topics mere moments ago.

Which was why I obliged her… because it was a small price to pay to keep such sorrows at bay.

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