[Xander – 13 years]

"Hello," I greet my chat. "X-Xander here. I found this past weekend a little fun. Greyson was back from school for the weekend and he gave me a new phone for a late birthday present. It's my new phone because it's a lot better, once I removed some features it shouldn't have had.

"I didn't earn free fudge yesterday," I continue. Mentioning the fudge thing is okay because it's apparently well-known among the youth of the area that Mr. Vincent does that. "But I did beat my great-uncle in an arm-wrestling contest. It wasn't easy, though. He almost won. He's super strong.

"And then when Greyson left yesterday," I continue. "He left on the back of a griffin rather than just teleporting back. You might have seen the news report about a griffin being seen in the Lakeview area. That was him going for a ride. I dunno why he did that instead of just teleporting, but he's a dork so that probably contributed to it.

"I've gotten the hide back from the snow moose," I tell my chat. "Though I haven't started processing the wyvern yet. Grandpa Adrian said he'll help me whenever I'm ready for it, and we can even stream it and he might even teach me how to cook wyvern meat then. So I've gotta find a good time to do the stream for that."

That was a lot about me, a lot more than I usually do and more than I intended on saying. None of it was bad to say, though, so I guess that's okay. And it is my own stream so it should be fine to talk about me. At the same time, however, I should make sure to include chat in stuff.

"So how did y'all spend your weekend?" I ask chat. "Do anything fun or interesting?"

Chat and I talk about the weekend until the fifteen-minute mark of the stream, then it's time for me to log onto my World of Myst server. Mondays are a World of Myst streaming day starting at 12:15 PM, so that's when I log into the server on Mondays. The stream begins right at noon, so that there's time for chatters to show up.

Well, it's also that the stream starts at noon, but I give chatters fifteen minutes to show up and talk once it begins. Twenty minutes, if I include the five-minute starting-soon bit.

When I log onto the server, Sig and Lexi both greet me in the in-game chat and I send them a greeting back. That seems to be normal so it happens every time I log on and one or both of them is on as well.

"Okay," I tell my chat. "I'm gonna work on the pie farm now."

The pie farm is a multi-farm facility I'm building near my base at the fairy village. It's going to be a lot bigger than just a regular farm, so I'm putting it on a large stretch of land I mostly cleared out for it last week.

It's okay to have cut down all of those trees without replanting as I'm planning on planting more after. Not enough to fully make up for the missing trees, but enough to restore some nature to the farms. I did put down some small bushes around to partially make up for it, though. That way, there's still nature around, and I'll remove the bushes as needed if they're in the way, or just move them over.

Filling the area with nature can come once the farms are done, so that I can build the farms without worrying about planning out the regrowth stuff. Then once the farms are done, I can plan out the trees and bushes and stuff and put them in.

The part I begin working on first today is setting up the animal pens. Pies need both dairy and eggs, so I build four pens: two for cattle and two for chickens. I move some cattle and chickens into their pens, then breed them a little before getting to work on the auto-collector for the eggs.

That system is simple. I just go two blocks below the chickens and put in a cart with a hopper. It'll run the track over and over and over as long as it's powered. The hoppers are magic and can collect items sitting on top of full blocks above them if they're in a minecart. Then, it runs over some additional hoppers, which pull the dropped eggs out of them. Those hoppers will feed into a storage system, collecting the eggs passively without my needing to do anything else.

With it set up like this, I can come back and collect eggs as needed, as long as I've had the chunks loaded long enough for the chickens to have produced enough eggs. No additional storage area necessary, though I might build one to store the eggs with the other storage stuff so that this chest doesn't fill up.

After finishing that, I begin working on building the crop farms.

Sig and Lexi have given me some fruit that I didn't have on my own yet, including bananas. I start planting a banana orchard, but they're a little frustrating because the trees grow to different heights and I want them all at the same height. This means I have to chop down the trees, break the leaves, collect the drops, and then replant them, then bonemeal them, over and over and over.

[TinaSlays19]: Do you want to advice for how to get the trees perfect first time?

At least she asked rather than just said whatever it is she wants to suggest. Some chatters do that and find themselves timed out instead of their message going through thanks to my automod settings. It's based on how many times they've been timed out or had messages deleted before, so some are timed out for just a few hours while others might get timed out for a week or more.

Several chatters have been timed out with the automod message saying it was backseating while I worked on this so I know people have been trying. I haven't looked to see what their messages were, so I don't know if they were telling me that advice or not but they might have been. The only reason I know about the moderating is just because it's in the moderation log in my stream dashboard, which is right there for me to see.

Is there really a trick which can do what TinaSlays19 says, though? And what does she slay 19 of?

"Is there really a trick for that?" I ask, and a lot of chatters say there is. "What is it?"

[TinaySlays19]: Grow regular palm trees, then silk touch their leaves. You'll get the leaves back. Build trees using logs – any logs work – then put on the leaves so they look how you want. This lets you build them your own way.

[TinaySlays19]: After that, use the saplings – or craft them if you need to – to put in banana spots on the leaves. It'll only work on palm leaves, so the ones you want to use it on need to be those, but the other leaves can be whatever you want.

That sounds amazing and if it works, I'll be super happy as then I won't have to fight with the trees anymore. It even means I would be able to have only the banana leaves a different color and can use the fairy forests' leaves I collected while cutting down all of the trees for the rest.

Which might look really cool, blending the blues, purples, and greens together.

"I'll try that," I tell her. "But if it doesn't work, I'm gonna ban you."

I grow a bunch of palm trees, then harvest the leaves and chop down the trunks. I've unlocked the in-game Skill for being able to break multiple connected logs with a single block break, if I'm Shift-crouching when I break them. This makes this process a little bit faster.

Leaves decaying really fast when I do that is a Skill I haven't unlocked in the game yet, so I still use a hoe to harvest those.

Rather than using only palm leaves to make the trees, I use some of the fairy forest's leaves. It keeps the whole thing looking magical even as bananas grow on the trees, and I just need to use palm leaves for the specific ones to grow bananas on. This really does look as nice as I hoped for, but I'm not sure what others think.

"Chat," I say. "Does this look okay to you, or should I adjust it? I'm not sure…"

Chat seems to like the look of the trees, and a few of them mentioned other World of Myst content creators. Apparently, this is actually a pretty normal thing to do when they have access to the leaves and want to give something a mystical feel.

Once the banana orchard is set up, I set up an apple orchard. I also make sure to thank TinaySlays19 for the advice, since it did work. The apple trees are designed to be similar to the banana trees I made, but with apples rather than bananas, so oak leaves rather than palm.

Next, I set up the wheat and sugar farms. They're three layers thick for extra production, and I hire in some of the fairy villagers as well. One of the things I did yesterday was look up a tutorial on how to make automatic farms for some crops. I didn't take notes… because it made my head spin a bit.

But I have it pulled up on another monitor and am following the guide that way. The villagers will harvest the crops once they're grown, replant them, and put them into a storage system I set up. They'll even do this for the orchard.

That's all I have time for today, so I'll try to set up the berry farms in my next World of Myst stream. After that, I'll try to improve the homes for the farmers working them before attempting to build barns and coops for the animals up here. I'm not good at building, though, so they'll just be simple structures without anything fancy.

But I can probably put in some additional plants to make them look nice.

Then I'll dig under the farms and build one for me to do speed farming with bonemeal. A trick Lexi taught me last week was temporarily rebinding my use key from the right mouse click to one of my other keys, and it'll use things faster. Doing that allows for the speedy use of bonemeal.

Which means I can rapidly farm crops that way, but I don't want to do that on the farms I created for the build. Those are more for show than utility, so I don't want to mess with them too much once they're done.The underground farms are the ones where I'll do cram feeding and breeding for meat, and where I'll do rapid farming when I need a lot of something. The chickens might get a cram farm underneath the regular one as well, if I decide their egg production is too slow on the surface.

The harvested goods will then be used to make pies. And other stuff. But the main purpose of the farm system here is blueberry pies, strawberry pies, apple pies, and banana cream pies.

Then, I can build a pie shop at the spawn chunks. Also a meat shop, and maybe a dairy shop. Potentially also a juice shop, and a jam shop. Oh. Maybe a bakery!

Then, I can use what I get from Sig and Lexi buying from the shops to buy gear from them so that I don't have to go and acquire those materials myself. There are way too many monsters underground for me to feel comfortable going in without really good armor and the bounty boards will take awhile to earn me some decent gear.

"Thanks for watching, everyone," I say when it's time to go. "I'll try to be back with my regular baking stream tomorrow. Bye."

I end the stream, then stretch a little before letting Mom know I'm going to take a nap. There's no group hangout after school today so I don't need to worry about missing that. Isaac apparently got sick during his visit with his mom, so he's staying home today. Sig decided to spend some of his money treating his aunt to a spa this afternoon so he won't be attending the hangout, either.

Which leaves me, Connor, and Sam. Since I tend to get really sleepy if I go and it won't be the full group, I'm taking a nap instead. Connor and Sam will still hangout, they said, but it'll be at Sam's place.

I text Sig once I've changed and let him know I'm going down for a nap, and he texts me back a selfie of him and his aunt getting ready to go. A spa day sounds interesting, but also terrifying.

Getting massaged by someone else? No, no, no! Greyson might like getting and giving massages (he does with his oldest brother), but absolutely not for me! Especially not from a stranger I don't know!

I hope that he's okay and doesn't get hurt.

Should I ask one of Greyson's ninja if they can keep an eye on him, just in case? Greyson mostly uses them to keep his brothers and dads safe and to guard the workshop, but they might be okay with making sure Sig and his aunt are safe while at the spa.

It wouldn't hurt to ask, and Greyson has told me in the past that I'm allowed to ask them to do things.

[Sig – 13 years] → starts during Xander's PoV.

"Aaargh!" I say to the skeletons I see on the wrecked ship I'm pulling my own ship up to. "Today is the day I claim your booty!"

Lexi built me my ship. I thought the only boats in World of Myst were the simple ones you craft quickly and just hop in, but there are apparently bigger ones. Much bigger ones. You have to get certain materials first to make them work, but then as long as you have those and certain other features, a ship custom-built with blocks rather than in a crafting grid will work.

Which I found out about because Lexi saw some stuff I acquired last Monday and mentioned she could build me a functional ship.

So now I'm roleplaying as a pirate. Isaac even made me a new skin for my avatar! It's not much different than the old one, but it's nice to have a skin for just for the roleplay. Xander's also put merch up on the store for the server.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Just some basics like stickers, but it's still cool. There are ones for each of our avatars, plus one for the three of us as a group. Xander's got the same avatar as always, but with an added bracelet design. We can apparently put up to three bracelets and three anklets on each side through the avatar creation system as an additional layer and I guess he wanted that.

He also has a necklace, which is apparently a unique thing. They're given out by the devs sometimes as an event, but Xander's is just straight-up unique to him. When I checked the wiki, the only information known about it is literally that the double-fang necklace is Xander's. The theory is that it's to represent his bravery necklace, but no one can agree on why he has it.

A lot say it's just because he's a prolific descendant of Adrian King, but I feel like there might be something more than that. Being famous alone shouldn't be enough for someone to receive a necklace cosmetic.

All three of us play with armor hidden so that our avatars shine through, so I added a bracelet to my avatar as well.

As for Lexi's avatar, she's got a necklace she earned from an event and is dressed like a construction worker, with a full vest with pockets, pants with additional pockets, and tools which were set into the pattern. Those aren't accessories through the system so she had to make them into her skin.

It's really cool, and it seems like she's doing a lot of building work for us, even building up a communal base near spawn. There's a warehouse she's built for us to store things in for anyone to take, and that's just the start. Her plan is to make several warehouses and expand on Xander's original farm.

Me? I'm loving my pirate roleplay, and I'm super glad Lexi asked Xander about turning on the disabled-by-default setting which causes mobs to spawn on shipwrecks when players draw near. They're persistent mobs so they won't despawn, only disappearing from death. Most of them are skeletons with swords, though some have bows or even spells.

The stronger I get, the stronger the mobs which spawn for me on the shipwrecks will be, which comes from another setting we convinced Xander to turn on.

The increase in their difficulty as I grow stronger only makes it even more fun! Turning them on was to help with the roleplay I decided to do and it really does help. Now, I can't just loot other ships, I have to take out its former crew first!

After clearing out the skeletons, I loot the shipwreck. It has a lot of basic items and a single spell scroll, [Earthquake]. It causes all entities within its range to shake if they're standing on the ground or a structure on the ground. Also for if they're under the ground as well, such as in a cave. Against a player, it makes it hard to move forward, and it causes damage to entities as well so both players and mobs lose HP.

That's definitely a spell for Lexi. She spends a lot more time on land than I do, so she's more likely to face off against mobs it'll be useful against. Xander spends most of his time on floating islands, so the spell wouldn't work for him most of the time.

There's also the fact that he's on fairy islands, so the only mobs there are villagers and farm animals! There's zero chance of him facing a hostile mob most of the time he's playing as a result, so it would be useless to him for that, anyway.

"So this is definitely a spell I'll sell to Lexi," I tell my chat as I start tearing apart the ship. "And now it's time to wreck this thing even more!"

By wrecking the ships even more, I make it seem like they were actually in a battle against another ship, causing them to sink. This also lets me know that I looted the ship, if I come across it again.

I could just tear the whole thing apart so that nothing remains, but I don't want to do that. Leaving the wreckage of the ship behind adds to the lore of the world. Rather than just being broken husks, they're ships which suffered severe damage in a battle against Seb the Pirate!

My haul from the ship gets moved to my own ship's storeroom below deck. It has a lot of barrels and chests set up in it, and I organize my loot into their appropriate containers for a few minutes. A pirate wouldn't store potatoes with jewels, after all!

Then I set sail again to explore some more. Two more shipwrecks later and I spot a village on the ocean's shore.

"Hahahaaah!" I laugh as I approach the village. "I am Seb, and I demand all your booty! Give it up, and I'll let you live!"

Naturally, the villagers don't react to me. They also don't react to me stealing all of their stuff. I clear out their farms, their chests, their random barrels, all of their work stations, their decorations, and even the white horse hanging out in a pen with some chickens.

Which I also steal.

Basically, I steal everything except for the villagers and their structures.

To mark that I looted the village, I put three banners on the shore, their patterns a set of four triangles with a point meeting in the middle. The sides are colored black, while the tops and bottoms are colored blue. This lets me know that I was here and there's nothing else for me to loot.

Unless I decided I want to steal their buildings at some point, but that's not something I've done yet. Nor have I kidnapped any of them… yet.

Might make for a good roleplay in the future, though.

Oh! It's getting near to the time for me to end stream, so I should head back to my cove. But I'll do it in the roleplay.

"My ship is full of booty!" I do my best to do a pirate impression. "Best to take it back home to hide it, lest another pirate or the Federation catches me!"

There are no other pirates and "the Federation" is just something I made up, but it's all for the roleplay. My chat loves it when I do stuff in the roleplay, so I try to do most things in it when playing this.

I sail back to my cove, which is really an ocean-side cliff face I began terraforming into a cove. The landmass was relatively straight with some protrusions and some areas which dipped further into the continent when I found it. For one of those dips in, I've extended the areas out further… sort of. It's a long process which requires a lot of mining for materials and placing them back down so it's only partially complete.

Right now, I have the upper area extended out, to cover the cove and show where the cliffs on the sides will be. The walls of the cove have been built up as well. The rest of the areas underneath the upper ground… not so much. So it looks kind of goofy right now, like the tops of the cliffs came out but the land beneath is just gone and it's only supported by some walls making up the cove's boundaries.

But I'll eventually finish fleshing it out so it looks like a proper cove. If I can, I want to try and conceal its entrance a bit, too. I might also decorate the cliff walls once they're done to create an overgrown look to help hide it.

Inside of the cove, I move my loot into the storage system I've set up, though I leave the horse and chickens in the ship. There's not a spot for them here.

Yet.

"Alright, everyone!" I switch to third-person perspective mode and shift it so that it's facing my front, then I start attacking the air so it looks like my guy is waving. "Thanks for watching! It's just about three o'clock, so it's time for me to head off and take my aunt to a spa! If you enjoyed, make sure to hit that Follow button and if you wanna support me, don't forget to Subscribe! Like the video! The Most Ultimate Bastion to Ever Exist, out!"

I end the stream, then push my chair back a little so I can stretch. That was a fun stream, though things would probably be even more fun on the server if there were more than three of us. I'm not complaining about how things are now, but getting to plunder ships and villages with others helping would make it more fun for sure.

So would having to do it while there are actual defenders, or if some sort of organization was trying to stop me. Xander probably wouldn't go for that as this is partially for testing stuff out. He also likely wouldn't trust others enough to let them onto the server. The fact that he let Lexi on a server he's running was surprising enough already.

If I can end up meeting other streamers to hang out with, though, I might see about running a proper lore SMP with that stuff.

With the stream finished, I pull on a shirt and socks and shoes, then meet Aunt Rachel. This is my treat to her for being so awesome to me, and I can definitely afford it so it's not an issue. I wanted to gift her a spa day and looked them up, then discovered we had one right here in Dragon Falls!

There are apparently several natural hot springs in the area, and the spa is built on one of them. We can even soak in it for a little while, which is something I want to do for sure, especially since there's apparently a waterfall on the property, according to the pictures.

It would definitely add to the ambiance of the area.

Thankfully, Aunt Rachel agreed to allow me to book the visit after much pleading. We did go to the bank after the fitness session this morning to find out how to make sure I could pay for it without it being flagged as a potential financial abuse by my guardian, but then I was able to book a session.

They even had some slots open this afternoon! A lot, actually… it seems to be that the spa is actually a high-end one not many people go to. Magic is used to help with some of the treatments and sessions they use, so that makes sense.

We'll both be getting massages and facials, then getting to soak in a hot spring. After that, we'll be served dinner.Overall, it's $700 per person for our full booking, but I think it's worth it and I can definitely afford it even after we put some of my earnings from last month into savings.

She deserves the treatment.

When we arrive at the spa, a man in his early twenties is arriving for a booking as well. Rather than going ahead of us, however, he lets us check in first.

"Thanks!" I tel him, then approach the front desk. "Hi! I have a booking for two, under the name Bellman! I'm treating my aunt for being awesome!"

"Alright," the young woman at the desk chuckles and checks something on her computer. "A Sebastian Bellman?"

"I go by 'S.G.' for those I'm not close with," I tell her. "But yup! That's me!"

"Do you have an ID?" She asks, and I show it to her. "Alright, I'll just need the payment now, then you'll be taken back to your room."

I pay for the booking and receive an alert on my phone. I respond to the message from the banking app with a selfie with me flashing it a smile and a peace sign, then the payment goes through. The app apparently uses an advanced AI to detect whether or not the image is genuine and to detect whether or not the youth may be getting forced into the purchase.

Since the bank we use is owned by the Lumaria Group… it may also now be using Xander's and Greyson's superior magi-artificial intelligence for even better assessments.

Aunt Rachel and I receive both facials and massages, and they feel soooo good. Especially with how sore my body is from Xander's fitness sessions. Those things are definitely designed with the idea of the one going through them being able to recover quickly.

On the plus side, my abs are starting to get a little bit more defined now. On the downside, they are exhausting. But my stamina is definitely building up and I'm sure my body will adjust to the intensity of Adam's lessons in another month or so.

Once these are done, we head to the hot spring to soak in. It's coed (with me in swim trunks and Aunt Rachel in a swimsuit) so it's fine for Aunt Rachel and me to be in the spring together, though we sit opposite to each other. The waterfall is somewhat muted in the background but still decently loud as well. We aren't able to talk very much because of that, which is probably the point.

We can't see the waterfall, though. There are natural screens in the way, bushes and trees and tall grasses obscuring the view.

The man who showed up at the same time we did enters the hot spring shortly after we do, and takes a spot in a nearby pool to soak in.

He didn't look it with a shirt on, but he is ripped. Well, I am, too, but I wasn't expecting that.

Hm… Xander was concerned about the massage sessions. His dad also owns a security company. Could that be a security guard I haven't met, secretly hired to make sure I'm safe? He would definitely be concerned about his friends receiving massages and I'm pretty sure his "twisting balls would be really painful" comment this morning was probably him attempting to let me know what to do if someone tried to do something inappropriate.

Not that he needed to worry, this place is amazing!

After our session in the hot springs, all of us go to a lounge to relax some more and eat the meal we're served. There's fruit-infused water, grilled corn, salad with chicken and strawberries, and pudding.

Once we finish eating, we change back into regular clothes and leave the spa and I definitely feel a lot more refreshed. I know there's magic the whole way through the treatment, and I'm guessing part of it was used to help soothe my sore muscles.

"Thanks, Sig," Aunt Rachel says. "That felt nice. And don't think you have to do that a lot."

"I know!" I say. "But you've done so much for me this summer… and I have the money to do it!"

I almost tell her about my suspicions about the man who showed up at the same time as us, but decide it's better to ask Xander directly first. Aunt Rachel would probably react badly to hearing the suspicion. If I tell her and then it turns out I'm wrong, she might not believe me, too.

From what I've picked up from the dads after we started talking with Xander, she might think it's bad that Xander wants to protect his friends and would hire people to do so. It isn't as if we were being constantly monitored, it's more like there was just an extra person around just in case, and a former special magic forces soldier at that.

When she got concerned about my safety, the actual special magic forces showed up, along with a mind magic specialist. She has no room to complain, but I bet she would anyway.

Yeah, it's better to ask Xander first.

[Sig]: Hey, did you ask your dad if he could send one of his guards not from your place to keep me safe while I was at the spa?

[Xander]: No.

[Xander]: I asked Greyson's ninja if one of them would go, but they said they weren't allowed in the spa. It's apparently run by some sort of… powerful being who can detect them when they try to be stealthy and neutralizes their stealth magics.

[Xander]: Did you get hurt? Are you okay? Did something happen? Should I ask Dad to call our lawyers? Mom and I are about to finish making dinner but I can ask if we can hold off on eating to get the lawyers and police there.

[Xander]: Want me to show up? I can probably whup their asses and get you safe before the police arrive.

He really was concerned about my safety! Which is super nice of him… but the ninja are real? I just thought he was just telling us what Greyson had told him, not that they were actual real people. If he asked them directly, however, then they're definitely real.

[Sig]: Nope! There was just another guy who showed up around the same time as us, and he was ripped, so I figured he might be one of your dad's guards.

[Sig]: Greyson's ninja are REAL?

[Xander]: Yeah, but they use illegal magics to hide themselves from others when they're working. They don't know what sort of magical creature actually owns the spa, they just know it's powerful and won't let them in if they're stealthy. And they told me they didn't want to ever go there because of that.

[Xander]: You're SURE you don't want me to call the police and get Dad's lawyers involved and teleport over to make you safe until they get there?

[Sig]: Absolutely not! We're on our way home now! The dinner there wasn't too filling, so I'm gonna see what we've got for dessert once we get home!

[Sig]: By the way! I know we'll see each other again tomorrow morning, but I wanted to ask now since I'm thinking about dessert – can I request peach cobbler for the dessert at bowling? You've never made it for there before, it's always pies. I bet the staff there would love it!

It takes Xander a few moments to reply to that one. After he found out about there being a safe phrase with me and my aunt so she knows I'm fine, he insisted on having one for our friend group. "Peach cobbler" is it, and it's something which can honestly fit into a conversation with us.

The amount of times dessert comes up with him makes it normal.

Since he's being insistent on thinking something's wrong, I hope this lets him know it's fine.

[Xander]: I don't like doing peach cobbler for the bowling alley. Does peach pie sound fine to you?

[Sig]: Yup!

[Sig]: By the way, what're you doing for dinner? Something good?

[Xander]: Please hold.

I snort at that text. He sounds so formal/professional when he does that. One day, he might accept it's fine to delay responding entirely if he's going to take a picture.

After about a minute, some pictures pop up. It looks like they're doing lasagna with breadsticks, cheesy breadsticks, wings, and salad with tiny orange wedges and chopped strawberries on it. I snicker a little at the fact that there's a second lasagna dish on the table.

In front of where Xander sits. That one's just for him. It's in the center of the table there rather than where his plate goes, but it's still definitely his own lasagna.

"Something funny?" Aunt Rachel asks.

"Xander's eating an entire lasagna for his main course," I tell her. "At least, he's got an entire lasagna by his seat. I guess he's a bit hungry! Oh, hey! Can we stop and get ice cream on the way home? That pudding was nice as a dessert, but I'm not exactly full yet!"

We're almost out of ice cream that I like. Aunt Rachel's got a nearly full thing of some, but it's of a flavor I'm not too fond of.

That was probably so that I don't eat all of the ice cream on her.

I know I told Xander I was going to see what we have, but that was partially so that I could work in the safe phrase. Then it made me realize I really am still hungry, and I've realized that we're basically out of dessert stuff at home.

"Sure," Aunt Rachel chuckles. "Just don't buy too much junk tonight, alright?"

"Will do!" I say. "All the junk food, incoming!"

"No, don't!"

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