Day in the story: 6th December (Saturday)

I appeared inside the Lebens' training hall and was greeted by Nickolas, barely suppressing a yawn. He wore his training gi, his ginger hair tousled and messy.

"Hello, Alexa. You'll train with me today. Dad's busy," he said.

Of all days for Dam to be busy, it had to be today, great.

"Let's get going, then," I replied, jumping back and pulling a card to throw at him.

Become the fire and the card ignited into a fiery flat surface. It didn't change to metal - again. Why did it only work when I was the one under attack? My mindset should have been the same either way, shouldn't it?

Nick charged at me, faster than usual, then leapt with one arm cocked behind him. I dodged, but he landed lightly, rebounded and launched himself at me again, finally throwing the punch.

I blocked with a crossed-arm guard. It hurt. His strength was boosted along with his speed. I let the attack slide off my arms, shifted to the side, grabbed him at the elbow, spun around his back and used his momentum to throw him off balance and onto the floor.

My instincts screamed to jump on him and pound him into the floor, but that wasn't today's goal. Instead, I grabbed three more cards, wedging them between the fingers of my right hand like claws and slashed at him just as he was getting up.

He shrugged it off, the cards were normal, unchanged. Then he ducked under my follow-up and snapped a straight punch into my stomach, sending me sprawling backward.

As I stood up, I noticed how distracted he seemed, which was unusual. Normally, Nick would be quick to comment on my moves, especially new tricks, but today his mind was clearly elsewhere and if I was being honest, so was mine.

"If you want to say something, Nick, say it," I told him, brushing dust from my clothes.

"You think I do?" he answered, brushing off his gi with a tired look.

"Yes. First thing, I made a scene on your date. Second thing, you're dating my friend, so I figured you'd want to get something off your chest."

"I didn't know you were in any way connected to Sophie," he replied, moving closer and sitting cross-legged, then motioning for me to do the same. "That was a pure coincidence."

"I believe you," I said. He was not the type to scheme behind my back. "What about the date?"

"Do you really want my opinion?" he asked, leaning back on his hands and fixing me with a steady gaze.

"Yes." I meant it. Nick was one of the most reasonable people I knew. His opinion was worth hearing and a true artist should always value another perspective.

He paused for a second, thinking, then spoke carefully. "I think you were right…but you acted wrong."

"What? What's the difference?"

"You were right to stand up for your principles and they're good ones, in this case," he said. "But the way you did it hurt someone who meant you no harm. He was just trying to follow a custom, a tradition. So even if your principle was right, the way you applied it was wrong."

"Agreeing would have been dishonest, Nick. How could that possibly be the right thing to do?"

"Dishonesty, in my opinion, isn't inherently wrong if it causes more good than harm," he said.

That was true and I knew it. I'd been dishonest myself, even with people I cared for and trusted deeply.

"I agree with you in principle," I admitted, "but I decided I want to build this relationship on total honesty."

Nick sighed. "I'm sorry, then, for making up a cover story about our meeting. I assumed you wanted to keep this part of your life hidden."

Ouch. That stung, but it was fair.

"No, you were right," I said. "I didn't tell him about magic or crime."

"Then were you being honest for his sake," Nick asked, "or for your own?"

He hit harder with words than with any punch.

"Can't it be for both?" I protested. "He'd know exactly where I draw the line. That should be good for both of us, right?"

Nick shook his head slowly. "I don't know, Alexa. It seems to me honesty isn't really the issue here, though I could be wrong. And I'd understand if you don't want to talk about this with me, of all people."

"I don't mind, Nick. Then what is the issue?"

"Trust," he said plainly. "It seems very hard for you to trust people. You don't trust Jason and he feels that. That's what's hurting him, not your honesty or dishonesty."

I frowned. "I don't understand how it's so easy for you to trust people. Is that something coming from your Domain? Do you trust me?"

Nick considered for a moment. "It's probably one of my Domain's perks, yes," he admitted. "And yes, I do trust you, in some capacity."

"Some capacity? Isn't trust supposed to be absolute?" I asked. To me, it felt binary: either I trusted someone or I didn't.

"I don't see it that way," Nick said. "I decided to trust Malik with knowledge about the world. I trusted him with my family's home location and my phone number. I've given him my help and I'd do it again, because he hasn't given me any reason to regret it so far. But would I trust him with my life in a fight? No, I don't know what he's capable of and I know he froze before. Would I trust him with a mission of utmost importance? Also no, because I don't know how he'd handle it."

He paused to let that settle.

"In my mind, Alexa, trust is built out of small blocks. You put down one, then another and another, until eventually you have something solid with no holes in it, an absolute trust. But to reach that point, you have to lay down the first brick. Otherwise how could you ever test if it holds?"

Wow. He was a much deeper thinker than I'd ever given him credit for. That metaphor was even a bit artistic, almost poetic and made more sense than my own rigid view of trust.

"I didn't see it that way before," I admitted. I'd trusted Sophie for a long time before even considering telling her about my criminal life or magic. Jason was trickier. I was intimate with him and I'd told him fragments of my past, but only because the consequences of sharing them didn't really matter to me. I hadn't trusted him with anything that could truly hurt me if misused. Nick was right.

"I trust you, Alexa," Nick went on. "I trust that what I just told you, my thoughts, you won't use them against me. I trust you in a fight, because despite your crazy attitude, I know you wouldn't abandon me. I might be wrong on both counts, but I've decided to build something with you. Whether it holds or breaks is up to both of us."

"Thanks, Nick. I'll think about it," I told him, exhaling. "I just… grew up in a world that wanted to hurt me from all directions. That's why it's easier not to expose myself."

"Certain difficult things are still worth the effort," he said gently. "Trust is one of them, but it's never easy, because once you start to build it, the other person can just break it."

Which, I realized, was exactly what I'd done to Jason.

"Damn, man," I said, half-laughing, "you're a warrior, a cook, a science nerd, an influencer and a philosopher?"

He laughed at that, eyes brightening.

"You say that like you aren't a hundred things yourself," he replied with a grin. "I just try to pick goals that are worth pursuing."

"I kind of assumed that since your Domain is cooking, you'd be all about food and nothing else," I said. "You surprised me."

Nick chuckled. "First of all, thanks. Second, my Domain is Culinary Excellence, not just cooking, though it's close enough. But even then, Alexa, preparing food is about more than just the food. It takes patience, it means gathering knowledge, it demands building community to share it with and it teaches attention to detail. And besides, people aren't one-dimensional, right?"

I smirked. "Does it also require a bit of poetry?"

He laughed again. "If you want to be an excellent cook, then sure, some artistry helps."

"Okay, man. Thanks for the pep talk. Now stand up, I want to kick your ass."

"That's very artsy and creative of you."

"Funny much, Leben?" I shot back.

He smiled, settling into a ready stance. "One last thing, I kind of robbed you of your secret with Sophie."

"I figured that might happen," I said, shrugging. "I don't mind. I'd have told her eventually."

"You would?"

"Yes," I confirmed. "You shared your secret with her, didn't you?"

He tilted his head, curious. "How do you know? Did she say something?"

"No, she didn't," he replied. "I just connected the dots. They were a bit more obvious after I knew you two knew each other. She's wearing a very peculiar necklace that looks like part of a crystal core. You know anything about that?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I made it to help her become Awake."

"If she's constantly that close to your Domain, even a small part of it," Nick said, "it may change her over time, Alexa. Especially since there's living shadowlight inside, with an intent."

"Change how?" I asked. We still stood ready, tense, but unmoving.

"I have no idea," he admitted. "We have a similar crystal fragment in this house, just a lot bigger. My parents used to place it near me, to influence me, to make me more compatible with the soul core."

"How much bigger?"

"About the size of a large fist."

"Well, this one is just a small chip," I pointed out. "Besides, Sophie already has a bit of artistic nature."

"Those changes might be subtler than just boosting creativity," Nick warned. "Your soul core carries more traits than you're aware of."

"I'll talk with her about it. Could your mom make her that magic-awareness potion instead?"

"Yes," he nodded, settling it.

I was itching for a fight again. I snapped into a battle stance, drew a card and flung it at his feet. It whistled through the air and stuck in the concrete ground. He twitched, shifting his foot back. Then he roared and flared with green and orange shadowlight before launching toward me like a charging bull.

I danced aside in a few quick steps, grabbing cards as I moved. I threw them in a blur, two found their mark, lodging in his flesh. He ripped them out and tossed them away, already healing. The other three stayed flimsy and papery. Forty percent success. Not enough. I had to do better.

He swung wide and I ducked under his arm, jabbing his ribs. My knuckles slammed into his cage, but he braced his back foot and smashed a southpaw hook into my guard. He followed with his right shoulder, bulldozing me off balance, grabbed me by the waist, hoisted me over one broad shoulder, then pivoted and slammed me into the wall.

I wheezed from the impact, pain flaring along my back as the plaster cracked. He didn't let up. Hands braced against the wall, he drove a kick into my stomach, once, twice, again. My breath left me in ragged gasps.

"You okay?" he asked, finally stepping back.

I pulled myself upright, arms wrapped around my gut, knees tight against my chest. "You won this time," I admitted. "You were stronger, faster and caught me in a spot I couldn't escape, I'd be dead in a real fight. That sucks."

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"Wouldn't you just teleport out?"

"Maybe, if I had the wits to do it. I didn't even think of it. It should be instinct by now, but it isn't." I sighed, frustrated.

"Don't worry," Nick said, easing down to sit beside me, his broad shoulders against the cracked wall. "You'll get there."

"What about you, Nick? How far are you from advancing?"

"I feel like I'm very close now."

"You decided on the soul mark you'll improve?"

"I'm going with Embodiment. I'd be able to change parts of my body, not my whole body like my father can, but still, that sounds amazing. I can't wait."

"How exactly does that work?" I asked. "You just need to eat a small part of something to change, right?"

"Yes, but if it's only a small amount, it gets digested quickly unless I magically preserve it first, that's what my mom trained me to do. Once it's fully digested, I can't use it anymore."

"What would happen if you ate part of a human? Like, a hair or something?"

He looked at me, appalled. "I… have no idea. You can be really gross sometimes."

"Aren't you curious, even a little?"

"I wasn't. Now I am."

"Do you think your dad ever changes into your mom, you know… to have lesbian sex after eating…"

"Fuck," Nick blurted, actually swearing for the first time I'd ever heard. "Please, don't make me think about that."

"I bet it's a possibility."

"Alexa, I'm warning you. My patience has limits."

I laughed. "I'm sorry. My mind just… wanders, even into dangerous places. It's both a gift and a curse."

"I can see that now." He sighed, then stood up and dusted off his gi. "Want to train more?"

"Sex with a shapeshifter must be a wild thing," I finished the thought, standing up and catching the blush on his cheeks, first time for everything.

"I need to warn Sophie," I teased.

"Don't you dare say anything," he shot back.

I laughed again. "You're easier to unbalance than I thought, Nick. I just had to find the right string to pull."

"Okay, I'm done for today." He threw his hands up in defeat and walked off.

Still grinning, I portaled back to my Domain. I would take that small win every time.

**********

I waited outside Jason's apartment, dressed casually in black jeans, a warm jacket, a red scarf and a hat with a pompom. I hadn't told him I'd be coming, but I decided amends had to be made, fast, if I wanted to salvage anything.

"Not the best time," he said as he opened the door. That wasn't what I expected. I thought he'd be angry, maybe fuming or telling me to go to hell outright, but not just 'not the best time.'

"Who's that, honey?" A woman's voice came from inside and Jason sighed.

"Don't tell me… I didn't warn you." He opened the door wider. If he were cheating, I figured he'd be more embarrassed or scared. But the woman who stepped forward, black-skinned, impeccably dressed, with green eyes just like his and long black hair, was most likely his mother. Fuck. If he was cheating, it would've been easier.

I stepped inside. Time to play.

"Hello," I said, slipping off my jacket to reveal a colorful blouse beneath and something even more eye-catching closer to the skin, hoping to catch Jason's attention. But the moment had shifted; the blouse stayed on.

His mother approached me like a hawk sizing up a fat mouse.

"Oh, hello dear." She scanned me from head to toe.

"This is Alexandra May, Mom. She is my," Jason hesitated, glanced at me, "girlfriend."

"Oh, is that right, boy?" she addressed him sharply, then turned back to me. "Very nice to meet you. I'm Josephine. I may not look it, but I am Jason's mother, you know?" You know, I got the feeling Jason had picked up some of that from her.

"If I came at a bad time," I started, but she cut me off.

"No, not at all. Jay seemed a bit down. Maybe your presence will cheer him up a bit?" Her cheerfulness felt… forced, maybe a little probing. Was that a subtle question disguised as kindness?

"Mom, you wanted to check if I'm okay, you did. Can I talk with Alexa in private now?" Jason said, clearly uncomfortable.

"You'll get your chance. But I'd like to use mine too." She was quick to shut him down. He didn't like it.

"Come, Alexandra, sit with me. Tell me about yourself."

I took a seat at the kitchen counter. She sat opposite, while Jason sighed and slumped down next to me. At least he was still on my side, right?

"I study at Long Island University, like Jason, but I'm studying art." I started.

"Art?" She sounded surprised, or maybe just acted surprised. "Is there any money in that?" What a stupid question.

"Plenty," I answered smoothly. "The art itself, well, jobs after graduation are hit or miss." I added, "Fortunately, I was smart enough to already land a good one. I work as an art appraiser for a prominent benefactor, Mr. Phillip Penrose. You might have heard of him?"

That seemed to impress her a little, after her initial disappointment. She probably had never actually heard of Phillip, but I guessed she'd play along. Rich people love money, but they love knowing important people even more.

"Of course I know about Mr. Penrose!" she said, clearly putting on a show.

"Yes, I thought so. He deals exclusively with very important people and Jason said you and your husband are top of the food chain." I added, careful to phrase it as delicately as possible. "Of course, he put it more politely, but hierarchy is what it is, right?"

"Of course," she answered.

"I mostly meet with prominent clients like yourself to appraise the art they own, find buyers for their pieces, or locate specific works they're searching for. It's difficult but rewarding work. And I study art mostly to improve at that."

"That's good. For a moment, I feared you might be some poor artist wannabe."

"Mom…" Jason interjected.

"No, definitely not that," I said with a laugh. "Though I do paint myself."

"Anything I might have seen?"

"No, not yet. I've focused mostly on the business side, but I plan to show my work to the world one day."

"Good. I like your spirit, girl."

So far, so good. I might have diffused the situation.

Then she dropped the bomb.

"So, do you love my son?"

FUCK. Is she a demon? A witch? Why the hell would she ask that now, after everything I'd worked for here?

"It's… too early to call it love, but I find myself thinking about him more and more, every other day." I answered honestly.

"Oh, that's a shame, you know?" She tilted her head, eyes sharp. "Jay told me not long ago that she is in love with his girlfriend. Was it Alexandra, son?" Damn, she was being cruel, both to me and to Jason.

"Yes, Mother. I love Alexandra." He said it through clenched teeth. Was he angry at her? At me? Maybe both.

"And yet, she doesn't love you back." Her voice was cold, cutting and suddenly I felt like I was being pushed out of the room.

"It's between me and her mother," Jason shot back.

"Is that why you're so angry?" she pressed.

"He is angry," I said instead of him and that seemed to annoy her. "I mean, I think Jason is angry because of me. We had a fight yesterday and I came to apologize because I was wrong." I turned to Jason, hoping he'd understand. He didn't look thrilled. Yeah, I really hurt him this time.

"See?" She turned to her son with a mocking smile. "Seems I always bring about a positive change. Thank you for coming to your senses, girl."

After that stupid remark, I decided this really wasn't the best time.

"I'm also sorry for disturbing your conversation earlier," I said, rising from my seat. Jason stood up as well, worry clouding his eyes.

"Children, children, Alexa, stay, please," she waved dismissively. "I'll be going after all, since my son seems to be completely delusional about how the world works anyway."

What was this even about? Us together? This woman was terrible. I understood far better now why Jason wanted to cut ties with her.

"Mother," Jason said firmly, "I understand you pay for my education and standard of living, but if you won't let me use those resources to build something on my own, then I want you to take them all back. I'll start from scratch instead."

"I hope you'll reconsider," she sniffed, then looked me up and down, something sinister flashing in her eyes. "Or maybe Alexandra here will put some oil back into your head."

"Excuse me?" I shot back.

"Jason will tell you what that means, or not. His decision." She stood, gathered her things and with a final icy smile added, "It was nice meeting you, Alexandra."

Then she swept out of the apartment without another word.

Jason looked shell-shocked for a moment, then turned to me with a sorrowful expression. "I had warned you, didn't I?"

"You did," I admitted, "but I wanted to meet with you and I felt like I shouldn't postpone it."

"That's… nice to hear," he replied, though his voice carried hesitation.

"I came to apologize for how I handled the bill. I could have, I should have, found a thousand better ways to handle it, but instead I chose the worst way to declare… my independence."

He nodded, but I could tell he was waiting for more.

"I also haven't been forthcoming with you," I continued, "and that's a deeper issue, the one that breaks you, like you phrased it."

"I'm sorry about that," he said, exhaling, tension leaving his shoulders. "I was angry, I didn't really mean that you were broken. I just feel like you only show me… curated parts of you, you know?"

That was fair. Completely true, but it had to stay that way, at least for now.

"Yes, I know," I said. "I thought a lot about it last night, when I was scrubbing toilets and cleaning floors."

"What?"

"Yes," I went on, a little more vulnerable than I meant to sound, but that was probably good for the moment. "I started a new job yesterday. I couldn't miss my first day, okay?"

"You clean toilets? What about all those art deals you were talking about a minute ago?"

"I do that too, but it's occasional. My relationship with my boss in that world took a nosedive recently, so I needed something more stable until I find a new employer in my field. Zoe told me about an opening with the company that cleans floors at Edge of Tomorrow."

"The tech company? Zoe works there, right?"

"Exactly. I wasn't thrilled about taking that particular job, so I… kept it hidden from you. I was a little ashamed, okay?"

He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Lexy. I've been such a dick."

Well, I was a big liar, but it is what it is for now.

"No, it's okay," I said. "You had every right to think what you did. I'll try to be more honest with you, trust you more, but it's not easy for me, okay? Please give me time."

"Of course," he said. Then he leaned back a bit, a wicked smile on his lips. "So… are you really thinking more and more of me, or was that just a show for my mom?"

"Unfortunately, I am, you moron," I sighed, though it was true, otherwise I wouldn't have come. "Also, I didn't come empty-handed."

I unbuttoned my blouse, revealing a pink, almost completely see-through lacy bodice underneath.

His eyes widened.

"I felt like a proper apology was in order," I added.

He laughed, swallowing. "I accept the amends, but I want to talk a bit more first, before I get lost in the heat."

"Sure." I crossed my arms over the blouse, covering myself. "What about?"

"This job. Can you tell me more?"

"I'll be sweeping and cleaning two floors of the main tower. Nothing too hard and people there aren't messy. I'll work Monday to Friday, 9 p.m. to around 2 a.m., so I won't be able to stay over during the week. But I'm free on weekends, if you want."

"That'd be great," he said, but something was still gnawing at him.

"I'll keep the cleaning job a secret from your mother, if we ever meet again. Don't worry."

"Oh, I don't care," he said quickly. "You could have told her. I'm not ashamed that you took that job, I admire you more for it. I'm ashamed of myself, living off my parents' money and then acting like a dick to you, when you're working your ass off."

"What was that thing your mom alluded to at the end?"

"Oh, that. Before you came in, we were talking about me working at my father's practice after I pass the bar. He'd make me a partner almost right away."

"Which you don't want."

"No. I hate the idea," he sighed. "You see, I'll finish my bachelor's in Criminal Justice next year, same course Peter takes, then I still have three years of law school and a bar exam ahead. That's four more years. I think my parents are realizing I want to cut ties with them, so they're tightening the grip with all this partner talk. My mom also mentioned internships and tutoring at my father's firm, even some associate work."

"And she thought I'd talk you into it?"

"I don't really know what she thinks," he shrugged, "but brace yourself, no white person works at my dad's company and both my parents are proud of that. They say they're empowering Black people, but… honestly, I think they're just racist."

"Are you sure? Maybe they really just want to uplift people in their community? Benefit of the doubt?"

He sighed again. "Maybe. It's just easier for me to ignore that kind of thinking, I can have white, Hispanic, Asian, Black friends, anyone I want, that's what matters, right?"

"I didn't know it bothered you that much."

"Let's just forget it, okay?" he said, rubbing his temples. "I'm fine, now that we cleared the air. I don't want to get lost in talking about society all of a sudden."

He moved behind the kitchen counter and poured himself a glass of water.

"So," he said with a grin, "you wanna stay tonight?"

"Yes," I smiled, "if you'll have me."

"Oh, I'll definitely have you, especially dressed like that," he teased, eyes dancing.

And honestly? I was more than ready to do some bad things with him, too.

**********

After my apology, I went home and packed a batch of clothes, a spare toothbrush, some cosmetics, soaps, everything a woman might need and wouldn't find in a man's house. When I arrived, I unpacked it all, hanging up the clothes in a closet Jason had cleared out for me while he was "preparing" dinner, by ordering online and opening a bottle of wine. So skilled, this man, when it came to cooking.

We ate, watched a movie and eventually fell asleep together in his bed. He was kind and caring, gentle with me, but still I'd woken up in the middle of the night.

And here I was now, in a nightgown, in an apartment that wasn't my own, holding a glass of water that didn't come from my kitchen, staring out the huge windows at the city that never sleeps below.

I noticed an opening on the roof of one of the smaller buildings, a shimmer there, swallowing up the city light through the cracks. What did the Ideworld look like on the other side of that portal? Would I end up in the dreaded Mirrored City that Leben had warned me about? With so many people pouring their dreams, hopes and nightmares into it all at once, it must be an outlandish place beyond imagining.

I was about to set down my glass and try to sleep again when someone stepped out of the opening. A woman, I thought, though it was hard to be sure from this distance. She was slender, definitely tall. She paused at the edge of the building, squatting to look down, observing something far below.

There was something wrong about her, maybe it was only a trick of perspective, a play of shadows, but her limbs seemed too long, inhumanly long. Was she a shadow instead of a person? If so, how and why, had she crossed into our world?

Then, as if she could sense me thinking about her, she turned her head directly toward me and went perfectly still. The stiffness was too unnatural, too absolute and in that instant I knew, she couldn't be human.

She rose smoothly, stepping onto the narrow wall that bordered the rooftop, balancing with the fluid grace of a model on a catwalk. Still facing me, she jumped, higher than I could have managed even in my suit, planting her limbs on the opposite building's wall to propel herself even farther, landing on the roof nearly level with my windows.

Could she really see me? What was happening? Was I dreaming?

That was when Jason shuffled out of the bedroom.

"Everything okay?" I asked, but he only slumped past me, eyes half-closed, on autopilot as he went to the bathroom. I heard him pee.

I turned back to the other building, the figure was gone.

I scanned the rooftops frantically, searching every ledge, every shadow where she might have hidden, but saw nothing.

I collapsed onto the couch, staring out the window, half-expecting her to reappear at any moment. One minute passed, then two, then three, then ten and nothing.

Then I remembered Jason.

I walked over to the bathroom, listening for any sound, but heard nothing. Hesitant, I cracked the door open, hoping he wouldn't mind. I'd seen him naked before, after all.

But what I saw made my breath catch in my throat.

Jason was standing completely still, his face pressed flat against the mirror, as if it had been glued there. His hands were braced against the wall on either side of the mirror, like he was trying to peer straight through it.

The surface of the glass rippled, shifting like water and threads of light danced across it, pulled inward just like the openings into the Ideworld.

A jolt of fear shot through me.

I lunged forward and grabbed him, yanking him away from the mirror. We both crashed to the floor in a tangle, but I managed a final glimpse of something slipping away, melting back into the liquid-like depths of the mirror. A chill raced down my spine.

I turned to Jason, he looked unconscious, his breathing slow and even, almost peaceful.

Panicking, I slapped him a few times, gently but urgently, until his eyes fluttered open.

"She will… love me," he mumbled as he came to.

"What was that?" I demanded, my voice shaking.

"Huh? Lexy? Where are we?" His gaze was hazy, unfocused.

"The bathroom," I said, trying to keep calm. "You went to pee, but you weren't coming back, so I checked on you."

"Don't remember," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Maybe I'm… sleepwalking?"

I sighed, trying to steady my breathing. Sleepwalking? That was a comforting excuse, but it didn't fit what I had seen. This was something else, something that made my skin crawl.

I helped him back to the bed. He fell asleep almost instantly, breathing slow and peaceful, as if nothing had happened at all.

I on the other hand, didn't sleep a single minute.

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