"Tonight, you are certain?" Nina asked.

Gravewhistle wiped his mighty beard with the back of a hand, finished with his final slice of pizza. "The Ruler of Sun and Shade is. And he sees very far. They act tonight."

Four gnomes stood in the kitchen of the shop. After startling the remaining late night customers, as how does one see a bunch of rugged Garden Gnomes burst into a store, Nino waved them to the back to speak with Nina. Two full vegetable pizzas wolfed down and a serious discussion later, the heart of the Lich hovered over them nervously, picking at a gold chain hanging round her neck.

Power bristled in the gnomes from the pizza Buff, making Petal Gravewhistle anxious to get moving to their second destination. Formalities, however, must be maintained. The woman was a saint with food. All Gnomes loved a good meal, and Emilio had cautioned him to ensure that he keep his decorum. He respected the Lich, that wasn't a problem. Holding in the belch from the food proved the more difficult task.

"Madonna santissima. I hate other Lich." Holy Mother Nina swore, spinning to float pace back and forth across the kitchen. The dishes in the sink scrubbed themselves clean.

Nino entered the kitchen, the last of the customers departed with their counter slices. He looked at his wife pacing and his jaw tightened. With a flick he produced and shot a cigarette into his mouth to light it with a flaming fingertip.

"It is time, then?" he asked with eyes turned on Petal.

Petal Gravewhistle straightened immediately and puffed out his chest while pulling in his belly. Called upon in such trying times, he represented his people and wished to act with all the grace his twelve-inch frame could muster.

"Round the city, the Gnomes lie in wait," he declared. "Ready to act quickly and decisively. We go next to the Leather Spires to report to Alex's mate. We wanted to inform you of the stakes that cast unearthly gloom upon our lands."

Nino finished the rest of the cigarette with his second pull, flicking it away into nothing. Looking at the Gnomes waiting, he nodded. "Then go. We will do what we must."

Petal waited, hopeful for more details, but the look in Nino's flaming irises made him turn away from the man. There was a fire building there, even if it wasn't meant for him. Across the room, Nina continued in her restless float-pacing, and he realized the floor frosted in her wake.

He swallowed hard and managed to spit out a new Gnomish vow. "Until the sun never rises and the night never comes."

At that the Gnomes slipped back outside toward their tunnels. The sounds of their small porcelain feet clattered on the tile as they continued in their duty to report to the Leather Spires. Petal finally got to blech as he stepped back into the street.

When the front door chime closed and they were alone with the silence of the shop, as Francesca was still out on her last delivery, Nina turned to face her husband.

Nino spoke first. "I don't want you—"

She raised a small hand and stopped him cold. Her eyes burned with glacial winds, their typical light brown replaced with blue-white. "I must," she said. "For Alex, and for Us."

Nino's shoulders sagged. He let out a long, weary sigh and nodded. But Nina wasn't finished. Icicles formed off her slippered feet.

"Mi amore," she said softly and coldly, the old Lich rising to the surface. "Run upstairs for my mother's [Wooden Spoon]. I think I'll need something special tonight."

His heart sank into his stomach. They hadn't had to use the Relic in decades. He met her glowing eyes and knew there would be no stopping her. The dead winds stirred, and even though he felt no danger from his wife, he shivered.

Nina, the Heart of the Lich, prepared to leave her Domain.

Rusted weights sharpened like saws whirled through the air as the Monster made of ellipticals, tanged resistance cords, and dozens of mismatched sneakers flexed its many arms. What a splendor it was that a massive thrift shop had enough workout equipment to dedicate an entire room to Adventurers. Each arm clutched a gigantic, rusted kettle ball as it wound up while shouting motivation.

"High knees!" It barked, sounding like a drill sergeant and a zumba instructor all in one. "Don't forget to squeeze your glutes or I'm taking those knees off!"

Alex ducked under a spinning forty-five and weaved sideways as a kettle ball crashed where his head had been. The Monster stretched and cheered before throwing another barrage. He vaulted a rowing machine that tried to clamp down on his head and fired a [Phantom Step].

He landed hard on the gargantuan treadmill once again. Several dozens of them had been fused together into a giant spinning platform of death. Alex heard the unmistakable beep of someone, the [The Motivator] and apparent workout aficionado, turning up the speed. Under his feet, the warbly belt spun faster to pull him into the waiting pile of dangerous workout gear.

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"Nice!" The giant Monster clapped from the front of the twisted version of an exercise equipment discount sales room. "You are doing great! Feel the burn! Embrace the pain!"

With all of the treadmills pushed together and changed with magic, they had ended up being just a giant treadmill filled with traps. Alex sprinted, feeling the temporary increase in [Running] from his Pizza Buff. The cheerful Monster shot out dumbbells and sharpened jump rope from the room, forcing Alex to weave around the endless track of death.

"Now," the Monster said, squirting a moldy water bottle all over itself. "Time for the burnout!"

"Oh System," Alex panted, feeling his heart hammering. "Not another burn out round."

"Till you drop!" The Monster clapped and spun to flex its nylon glutes at him, shaking them. "What's the point of a workout if you're not turned to mush afterwards? Yeah? You like these glutes?"

Alex groaned aloud. Twice already he'd tried to make it past the burnout phase. There was no way around the gigantic treadmill. The outskirts of the room were a beaver nest of rusted, cheap equipment sharpened to points dripping with the blood of fallen Adventurers. A hundred feet on both sides of barbell spikes nested together with flailing spiked jump ropes rigged to repurposed motors from discount machines. Anyone who entered the room was forced to sprint up the treadmill and face the "workout" of [The Motivator].

"First up, thirty reps of high jumps!" the Monster yelled inspirationally, doing jumping jacks that made the floor quake.

Giant caltrops made from bent lat-pull down bars appeared and slammed down in rows on the treadmill, flying on the path towards him. Alex was forced to leap over each while sprinting.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the heap of danger already piled at the back of the treadmill, butting up against the backside. Weights and blades and tangled barbwire butted up against the spinning rubber floor. There would be no more chances. It was the final set of the workout, one way or another.

He gritted his teeth with burning lungs as sweat dripped down his face.

Ok…it is a good workout. I'll give him that.

"And squats!" the Monster shrieked and demonstrated. "Get that ass to the grass!"

It hurled spinning elliptical parts that sliced through the air at head height. Alex ducked low and noticed that there was just a bit less materials flung at him that the last set. Even monstrous instructors needed a break. With a [Phantom Step], he flashed forward and decided it was time to pull out the ace out pf his sweaty polo sleeve.

"Guess who's done warming up?" he yelled at [The Motivator].

He already knew the last series of exercises he'd be forced to endure, so he dug deep and nudged the Buff from the pizza dinner he'd eaten just as the beep of the treadmill ratcheted up another notch in speed.

"Now really put yourself into it!" The Monster grunted. "It's time for our final burpee sesssssssssiooon!"

[You have active your one use of Relentless Persistence!]

Unending Persistence – Mould thought, care, and willpower into a resource of unending persistence. Become the Platonic Ideal of a Deliverer. Through rain or shine, the delivery is always made on time.

[The Motivator] clapped its many hands and counted off like the deranged aerobics instructor it was.

"And one! And two! And three! Have four! Oh yeah, gimme five!"

Each clap sent an aparating squat rack floating a foot off the track to rocket towards him. Every rack was loaded with mangled rowing machines on a woodchipper mission, grinding their mangled fans as they flew right for Alex. The air filled with the Monster's chanting of motivation and the sound of two feet smothered by shrieking metal.

Then the beautiful effects of the Pizza Buff hit.

Raw energy punched Alex in the gooch and flew through him like pure caffeine. It was like being set on fire by B12 and espresso patches. Or when you see a mangey coyote, except without the fear. His jiggly legs flexed as his heart roared in his chest.

He popped back up after going down for a burpee, huffing but grinning wide. A [Phantom Step] snapped him fifteen feet in the air as he yelled.

"JACKED TO THE ABSOLUTE TEETERS! WOOO!" He yelled at made a star of his body in the air.

I could get behind this working out stuff.

"That's the spirit!" the Monster cheered, still count-clapping. "Be your best self! Right before you're made into sweaty putty!"

"Oh, I'm feeling it alright." He dropped down into another burpee, army-crawling low and fast to keep his momentum. Springing up again, he decided it was time for one final dastardly final push.

With unrelenting persistence, he sprinted toward the next flying rack, panting and pushing his heart to its limits.

"Time to push it!" He yelled and reached down deep.

One [Phantom Step] sent him up into the air. The next snapped him forward, and he felt his Core crying out like a stressed muscle. Digging deeper than ever before, he fired a final one, the third, and most he'd ever done in a row, for a final teleport straight over the head of the clapping Monster's head.

The impact was hard, but he landed on his two feet with the box undamaged and not covered in his sweat. [The Motivator] gasped and bellowed with pride as it turned to cheer at Alex.

"That's it. That's the burn. You didn't quit. You showed up for yourself!"

Blood rushed through his head as energy continued to flood his veins. His lungs burned, and even though he had almost been murdered by a workout, he felt pride in the fact that he had made it through the gauntlet of relentless reps.

Behind him the Monster wiped a single rotten protein powdered tear from one of its eyes, "Beautiful form…perfect follow-through…"

With the Buff flying through him, Alex just wanted to keep going. But he had appearances to maintain. Looking over his shoulder, he looked upon the workout room and decided it might be worth his while in the future to lift some weights. That had been tricky, and he was built for speed.

"You've reached the finish line of my workout." [The Motivator] bowed to Alex.

Alex snorted, already looking at the next room and eager to get to it. "Finish line? Buddy, I'm still on the clock. Ain't no finish line till this puppy is delivered." He patted the pizza box.

He shot off down the winding hallway, [Planar Skating] and [Phantom Stepping] with his grown and pumping Core. Essence pulled from Dungeon and cycled to fill it up.

Up ahead and deeper in the Dungeon, Honest Freeda watched from her cameras and adjusted the hallways so that Alex would end up in a certain room. The boy had passed one of her most devilish tests, and he deserved a reward.

She stamped a cigarette into a giant ashtray from her security room lair and decided that since he was a boy, he might enjoy her Video Game reward room.

And across the city, Petal Gravewhistle erupted out of the asphalt outside of the SPANKTORIUM, just down the way from the Leather Spires. They had to reach the Dungeon Boss. Sprinting with little feet, they saluted the Gargoyles and announced themselves.

"Petal Gravewhistle and Company, seeking attendance with Mistress Giat and Mistress Snu of the Leather Spires."

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