Alex dreamt of mediterranean fields, the good side of Niagara Falls, and oddly enough, a dragon that had ugly brown scales.

He didn't wake to the screeching of Monster birds, Gravewhistle's snores, Emilio's presence, or the familiar shaft of light hitting his face from the thin blinds in his room. Instead, his eyes fluttered open from the poke of a tiny plastic tail. The blaring electronic snore next to him took a breath longer to process.

Alex shot upright and immediately felt pain lance through his broken left collar bone that was tied up and locked in place with a sling. Just a moment ago, Zippy was flying with the knife, the plushies were coming right for him, and Britanii was…

EMILIO! SNU! MARY! THE BOYS! JEMIN AND GRAVEWHISTLE!, his brain screamed. He then twisted…

And a dozen plastic toys scattered like startled mice, chirping out "meep!" and "ooooh!" noises as they retreated frantically down the massive, black silk sheet covered bed. Alex heard a book snap shut. His vision blurred and throbbed, but through his haze, he could make out a little plastic waffle poking its head out from behind his big toe. And curled beside it, purring loudly enough to feel through the plush mattress, was a gigantic grey housecat facing away from him.

Emilio…? A bed?...Where am I?...Why am I naked?

SNOOOOOOOORE

A thundering snore shook the mattress he sat upon. Craning his neck, he spotted a hulking figure tucked in neatly beside him, with only its head poking out. The Dungeon Boss known as Lord Loopy slumbered peacefully, with his overstated announcer mustache moving with each gigantic breath. Up close, he almost looked human, if humans faced were animatronic masks.

"He's up! He's up! A familiar voice shouted. "Told you he didn't die. This one's a masochist. I told you that from the beginning, Mistress. A real nasty bugger if you ask me."

Alex's head swam, and everything pitched sideways. He almost passed out again.

Several somethings landed on the bed, followed by one big something that stormed up and trampled his legs without a care in the world. There were servo whines, rotor beating, and a bunch of feet pattered over quickly. The air of too many bodies hovering around him pressed his consciousness, and he squinted through his haze. His vision cleared and saw a ring of faces hovering over him.

Mary with her curls down and Zippy perched on her shoulder. Gravewhistle had hefted himself with a pull up to stare at him with worried eyes. Jemin, with his green copper scales smiling with way too many teeth. Vreshkeuc in a hoodie and her tuft of hair sticking out in every direction. A gorgeous Giat smirking and not looking at him.

And an extremely worried, freckled, devastatingly pretty non Dungeon Boss formed Snu.

"ALIVE. VERY COOL, ALEX." Beepy announced from somewhere on his left, just as Emilio lost his patience. His cat flopped his massive head directly onto Alex's face and began purring and rubbing his scent all over.

"I-I-I-What happen–"

Snu let out a "mmph" and then launched herself onto him. She wrapped him in a full body hug, with her arms clenching around his ribs and cheek burying deep into the good side of his chest, shoving Emilio aside. His collarbone hurt something awful, but he took it anyway to feel her embrace.

"Never-snrf-no-thought-mmppph-die-stupid--Alex-idiot-snrf--snort-" Snu's hug wasn't gentle, but it was warm. That was when he realized he was in her room, or more aptly, her Dungeon Boss Lair.

SNOOOOOOOOORE

"What-what happened? Where is she? Did we–owww," Alex groaned, trying to sit up, but Snu squeezed even tighter.

"Ease up, sis," Giat snorted. "He's not going anywhere juuuuust yet. Plus, he made it in mostly one piece. All the pieces that matter, anyways."

"Took the full blast to the fricken dome is what he did," Mary added while beaming down at him. She tilted her head toward Zippy on her shoulder. "He was second closest. Our little hero over here, but you were like–"

"Ten feet from her when she went off like that," Jemin cut in, shaking his head and throwing an arm around Mary's waist. "Crazy shit. I was out for two hours."

"Went off like–What the hell happened?" Alex looked at his friends. "Is she dead?"

"Dead?" Mary raised an eyebrow. " You think old Zippy's little knife killed her?"

Alex looked at everyone's faces. They looked shifty, and even Gravewhistle remained quiet.

"Well?! Does someone want to explain where the hell Britanii is? Why Lord Loopy is tucked in like a baby and not vomiting murder plushies everywhere? Is he still a Familiar?! Where's the leash!? Did we win? Am I–" As usual, Alex's brain to mouth connection made all his questions spill out of him. Snu still latched firmly onto him like a koala.

All his friends looked at each other. Mary gave a tiny shrug to Jemin, who shook his head. Giat tilted her chin at Snu, who raised her eyebrows to Gravewhistle, who arched an eyebrow at Vrshkeuc, who glanced at Beepy, who beeped to Zippy, whom, finally, after what felt like a full conversation of had happened with gestures, bounced his drone body in agreement. Gravewhistle dropped from his pull up and cleared his throat.

The circle of bodies surrounding him parted, opening up a gap so Alex could see the rest of Snu's lair. Alex squinted his eyes, which had some trouble seeing far, until he was able to make out what they wanted him to see.

"Oh. Oh HELL NO!" He started to scramble up and out of Snu's grasp.

On a giant bean bag Alex was certain was reserved for the unshackled gashapong, was Britanii.

She was curled up like some kind of beast, wearing a simple hoodie and pants, with knees pulled to her chest and arms curled up like a racoon. Her head was still patchy and balding, with strands of red clinging on, but her skin looked more human. She stared off at nothing from her spot on the giant bean bag, surrounded by resting plastic toys. Even from a distance, though, Alex could see her chest rise and fall.

"Is she–" Alex began to ask.

"Breathing?" Gravewhistle answered. "Yes, she is. Due to the heroic dive by Sir Zippy of the Knife, it seems that, hmm, well…," he trailed off as if haunted. Alex

"Examine her. Identify. Appraise. Whatever Skill you have for seeing. Sure ain't pretty no more." Giat tutted. So he did. Alex [Investigated] his ex.

When nothing happened, he tried again. Three times Alex tried to [Investigate] a wheezing Britanii from afar, but each time delivered the same result. There wasn't any push back from the Skill from some blocking ability she had. There wasn't a headache or a the feeling of his Core being broken or his own Skill failing.

There just wasn't anything about the System to [Identify].

"Cut off, it seems…," Jemin explained. "Mine doesn't work either. It's like that flash was…,"

"A big ass Silver Grade Dungeon Boss Core rupturing out of her," Mary added. "I'm bloody blind and even I got something in the old peepers. That blast that knocked us all out onto our asses? Essence. A giant motherload all at once."

"But she's alive. I don't understand how she…or," Alex looked at Giat and then down at his chest to where Snu was still firmly latched. "She's uhh…I mean are we going to…you know…,"

"Kill her? When she's like this?" Giat asked a bit harshly. "No. No, I don't think so. She's cut off from the System, far as I can tell, but there doesn't actually seem to be anything physically wrong with her. She's just…,"

"Traumatized," Snu finally said as she picked up her head and glared at Alex with pointed eyes. "Turns out, becoming a Dungeon Boss by some monumental screw up, getting farmed, and then having your Core ripped out of you is a bit much," Alex realized she was glaring at him. "Even if you didn't mean for that to happen. The Dungeon Boss thing. Right?"

Before Alex could sputter out a reply or an apology, not one, but two Skills hit him. One was hot and seething in, and didn't feet like Snu at all. The other was warm but prodding, combing through his head. Without his totally-not-creepy-used-underwear Relic from Snu tucked on her person, he had no defense. Alex felt his brow beginning to bead sweat, until finally the Sills puled away.

"He's clean," Giat said. "Didn't mean to."

"Of course not!" Alex gasped. "I just wanted to get back at her! For always getting at me! I didn't know that stupid bracelet would–would do that…," He trailed off, and looked back at Britanii. "And her Dungeon? If she's not a Boss anymore. What happens to it?"

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

"Mmmmm," Snu tapped her finger on her lips that Alex wanted to kiss. "What happens when a Dungeon Boss, or Bosses, aren't at the center?"

"The Monsters inside multiply and multiply," Gravewhistle explained. "An ecosystem of sorts is created. Self contained, wondrous farming planes for the ill equipped, the weak, and the young warrior seeking to sate their palette in glory and collect lower tiered Relics."

"Oh." Alex didn't know that.

Well that doesn't sound too bad….

"And if that Dungeon isn't cleared regularly?" Gravewhistle continued. "Hungry monsters spill forth to wreck havoc on the surroundings. A hungry Monster is a fearsome beast indeed."

"Oh…," Alex realized he may have caused a serious problem then.

"Oh yes," Gravewhistle sucked his teeth. "Fear not, Lord of Slice and Companion of Girth. While our losses were acceptable, the Gnomish Empire of Allen Gardens will use the opportunity to train and continue our progress. We thank you for the opportunity to engage and test our nettle." Emilio purred and chirped in agreement, and Alex's good hand went to pet him unconsciously.

"You're…welcome?" Alex blinked at the gnome, then looked at the others. "So what do we do with her?" Alex asked, gesturing with his chin.

"She'll be staying with me." Giat answered seriously while looking at the frozen Britanii. "Here. For the time being at least. Until me and my sister figure something out."

"We were talking about buying a place on the outside!" Snu said excitedly, already seemingly over her anger and touching Alex's arm. "Some Clan or something to help Monsters! Or Familiars! Or Dungeon Bosses! Something like a sanctuary! Or like a therapy center. A spa? Oh–I haven't done a spa in ages! Isn't that great!? I mean…we make a lot of money from all the uhh…,"

"From all the Krushers and shitty Clan members you get?" Mary asked while laughing. "I love it, by the way. Very-what's the word? Very girlboss. Yeah," she nodded to herself. "Yeah. Girlboss."

SNOOOOOOOOORE.

All of their heads snapped over to the sleeping Loopy.

"And him?" Alex asked. "He still a Familiar?"

"He's been sleeping since, just like you," Jemin responded. "Think cutting that leash and cutting Britanii off from the System stopped whatever hold she had on him. The Familiar bond was…,"

"DICED. KAPUT." Beepy added proudly from the bed while Zippy tooted. "THANKS TO COOL GUY ZIPPY."

"And he's just going to- what? Go back to his Dungeon? Is it even OK?" Alex asked.

"We guess?" Jemin shrugged. "Gravewhistle and the Gnomes have been watching. No big raids or anything. Neuronium sent over some Monsters to hold down the fort while he was gone, least that's what Giat said."

"Yep," Giat answered. "Someone named Marty has been helping out. He's been added to the Biscord chat, like twoish days ago? Says its all–"

"TWO DAYS!?" Alex asked. "I've been asleep for TWO DAYS!?" He thought for a second. "IT'S FRIDAY!?"

"Relax, relax, holy shit," Mary said. "Don't worry, your little girlfriend called into work. Nino and Nina send their regards. Said deliveries are on hold until then." But she was grinning viciously at him. Why was she grinning viciously at him?

"And!?"

'They um," Snu said shyly. "They invited me for um…dinner…dinner with umm–...They invited me for dinner on Sunday."

"All of us. A noble feast of the ages after a glorious battle!" Gravewhistle announced. "The pasta that will be consumed, glory be! The meatballs, the bread, oh, the delicious bread! Oil. Cheese. Oh yes. And chicken! Battered and fried. I can't WAIT for the devastating amount of carbohydrate forms that shall be presented. Oh yes."

"And you said yes?" Alex asked Snu. What he didn't see was everyone smiling at them both.

"Well-I-you know-didn't think anything–,"

Alex leaned over and planted a juicy kiss onto her stammering mouth. They lingered together for a moment, enjoying each other's lips, before she pulled away, and looked at everyone surrounding them.

"Good kisser too, huh?" Giat ribbed before catching the death glare of her sister. "What? It's good to know, ok?"

"I'm just happy you listened over text and prepped," Alex said to Snu. "I was worried sick. The thought of that leash…," he suddenly remembered and looked around frantically. "The leash!?"

"Man, you really need to relax." Jemin pulled it from one of his many slouchy pockets and held it up. Even without [Investigating] it, Alex could feel the rotten energy coming off the thing. Jemin turned and placed it into a side table drawer, where the nasty feeling was cut off when he closed it. "Zippy here managed to cut the part that was going towards Loopy, and when he got her with that knife, well…,"

"It was lying on the floor next to her," Snu said. "Sure, the rest of the Krushers were easy enough to deal with afterwards. They're not getting it back. It's staying here. My Monsters? They've already respawned."

Alex flopped down onto the bed while he took it all in. They had done it. Well, kind of. Britanii was no longer a Dungeon Boss. A husk didn't mean dead, though he did feel bad about the whole situation. Not that he planned any of it.

"And now it's time to relax, lover boy." Mary chuckled and looped her arm into Jemin's. Gravewhistle, Jemin, Vrshkeuc, the boys, and even the gashapong chuckled at that. Emilio slinked off the bed, Beepy clonked down, and the group began to walk towards the curled up Britanii. Only Giat, Snu, Alex, and a snoring Lord Loopy remained back.

"Vrshkeuc," Giat announced quite seriously. "Call them. Loopy can stay in my room for now."

"Heh," Vrshkeuc giggled as she pulled out her phone while trying to gather all the gashapong. A hundred different varieties of animals, toys, trinkets, and bobbles surrounded her, following the Gremlin like shepparded sheep. "Yeah, you can come get the two now," a pause as someone on the other end spoke to Vrshkeuc. "Yep. Yeah, Giat's room. No, I know. Yes, it's exciting."

Snu's lair door opened, and in walked none other than two massive stone gargoyles munching handfuls of gravel. One walked over and hefted the beanbag holding Britanii while getting dogpilled by a bunch of cackling toys, and the other walked right up to the slumbering Loopy.

"Thanks, Barry." Snu said as her Dungeon entrance guardian grunted and picked up Loopy like he was a sack of potatoes. The stone gargoyle just grunted, turned, and winked at Alex before carrying off the giant sleeping beauty.

Alex was getting a funny feeling in his stomach. Giat just smirked at him, and Snu was shuffling around in the bed wringing her hands. His friends, along with the gashapong, were at the door to leave.

"Guys?" Alex asked across the room that suddenly began to dim to a more romantic setting. How the candles in the floating candelabra dimmed was beyond him. The energy had definitely changed as well. "Uhhh…bye?"

"See you tomorrow, if you make it." Mary said. Everyone laughed together, walked out, and Vrshkeuc waggled her eyebrows at him before slamming the door.

It was just Alex, Snu, and Giat remaining in the room.

"So….," Alex said while looking back and forth at the pair. "That was a lot."

"A lot of Essence, yeah, you could say that." Giat began to walk around the bed before sitting at the edge. Now it was all three of them on it.

"Sisters, huh?" Alex tried to get Snu to look at him, but she was still kneading her fingers.

"Something like that." Giat answered while laughing. "Snu? Care to elaborate? Or shall I?"

Snu just looked up at Alex sheepishly. "So, you know how we're…uh…sisters?"

That was a fine line to walk. Alex looked at them both. Snu was short, blonde haired, speckled with freckles, and to cut out all the formalities, about as caucasian as they come. Giat, on the other hand, was a dark skinned beauty, with an afro, was a foot taller than Snu, and had approximately zero percent white in her.

"Uhh….," Alex tried not to put his foot in his mouth. "Yeah."

"And how I said we don't share? The first time we…,"

"The first you two did the horizontal hoe down. Succubus's don't share," Giat laughed. In the room, from some hidden speaker, soft music started playing. "We, however, are what you might call unique."

Alex's mouth both salivated and dried up at the same time. Did they mean…?

"Since we share a Dungeon, and we're both technically the Dungeon Boss here," Giat continued before opening her hands. "There is only one time we…work together. I mean, don't get me wrong, we've done it countless times before together. But you'd be the second."

"The second time," Snu said while grinning at him. "After Iron. We're Bronze now… and we might, um, need you for something."

"But you're sisters!" Alex spluttered even though his mind was going in all the wrong places. "That's-that's–"

They both laughed together, descending into cackling girls as they rolled around on the bed together. Alex was trying to get his words straight, to try and argue against them. But he had two gorgeous Succubus Dungeon Bosses in front of him.

"BUT YOU'RE SISTERS!" He repeated.

"We're not blood sisters," Giat finally got ahold of herself and sat up. "We're sorority sisters. Were sorority sisters. Are sorority sisters? Is DBG sorority still around, anyway?"

"Oh," Alex said with an open, drooling mouth as he tried not to be too distracted by two gorgeous women looking at him with sultry eyes. "Oooooooooooooh."

"And that was a lot of Essence." Snu added.

"And that was a lot of Essence." Alex repeated like a lap dog.

"And we both received the notification." Giat said.

"And you both–," Alex started before slapping himself on the forehead with his good palm. He had forgotten to check his System notifications. He'd been asleep for two days, and had been blasted up close by a Silver Grade Dungeon Boss Core exploding after saving the damn day. Of course he had upgrades! Prodding his Core, a stream of notifications rang in.

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!

He was going to bring them up and read what he had gotten, but Snu interrupted his train of thought by sitting up. She seemed to be much more confident now, and nuzzled up closer to him to whisper in his ear.

"And the only way we can upgrade to Silver grade is if we do you together. It's a very fun ritual." She purred and kissed his neck and Giat began to crawl over. Paranoid by Black Shoebath, the band of darkness, started to play in the Dungeon Boss Lair.

Snu and Giat began to turn into their Giantess forms together, and Alex just shook his head in bewilderment.

"Holy smokes, I love my life." he said as two Dungeon Bosses attacked him.

And as the trio partook in the ritual that consumed their entire beings, a little green paper back book possessed by an ancient ghost crawled up a side table, silently opened a drawer, grasped a leash with a folded page, and fell away to a miniature portal to meet a mouse in the unspace.

Alex, of course, was just trying to stay alive and enjoy the experience of a lifetime.

—-

END OF BOOK 1 OF DUNGEONS & DELIVERIES

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