A succubus Dungeon Boss had to love carnivorous flowers. Alex hoped as much, anyways, as he made sure his hair wasn't too messy and his breath was alright. The blue ones nipped at his wrist and sucked his blood if he wasn't holding the bouquet carefully, but the meek, magical florist assured him that Snu would love them. He wanted to go for the roses that never wilted, but after looking at the price tag and saw a couple hundred Credits a pop, [Bluebell Suckers] would do just fine. Flowers were about the thought.

Emilio and Gravewhistle were gone in the morning and Mary's door had been closed. Rather then waste the time and scroll, he made a quick bite of four eggs sunny side up in butter with lots of toast, shoved it down his throat, showered, brushed his teeth, picked out a clean shirt, and even spritzed on some cologne. It wasn't nice cologne, but it was better than nothing.

Hmmm…maybe I should buy something nice. Snu always wants me to smell nice.

Alex lapped his lips and looked around the quiet side street in the east end of downtown Toronto. Couples in aesthetic clothes got their morning cardio in, and a few shops were already bustling for Sunday morning. It was a nice area, and the townhouse Snu and Giat had purchased hadn't needed much work. Little bit of permanent lemon cleaning spray, little bit of furniture, and an embossed metal sign displaying to the world what it was for.

Safety Spires

For the Lost, Distraught, and Ill-equipped

With a final throat clear, he reached up and rang the doorbell. The wooden door creaked as it opened and revealed both the innards of the converted town house, as well as a tiny tuft of messy hair.

"Looooover boy," Vrshkeuc, Snu's Gremlin assistant, cooed as she smiled up at him. "Flowers, for me? Bluebell suckers too! I told her you were a nasty one. A real nasty bugger. You like that biting shit, huh?" The Gremlin wore a blouse and professional flats, looking every bit the tiny assistant she was. The only thing missing was a child-sized clipboard.

"Hi, Vrshkeuc," Alex pulled the flowers away from the Gremlin's reaching claws as he stepped in. "Snu in?" He padded into the townhouse and looked around admiringly.

"Yep, she's upstairs," Vrshkeuc snorted before continuing. "Walking a certain someone through the fine art of knitting. Why she feels the need to give a crap about that Skill-less floozy who tried to kill my Mistresses is beyond me. Off with her head and into the pot, I said, but noooo, no one listens to old Vrshkeuc. Eh."

Alex's stomach didn't drop at mention of Britanii. Since Zippy snipped her access to the System after the whole try to Familiarize everyone phase, Giat and Snu had taken her under their wing, housing her in their newly acquired place.

His ex wasn't catatonic any longer, but still refused to speak or leave her room for more than a bathroom break. Alex was just happy Britanii wasn't a danger to him and the people he cared about. Was it creepy when she looked at him and didn't even register who he was? Yes. Still better than pure malicious venom, though, and she seemed to be getting kind of better.

"Looks great in here." Alex walked over to the living room, looking for a place that the flowers might go.

In the few short weeks that Snu and her sister had acquired the eight-bedroom townhouse, a lot had changed. The floors were sanded and lacquered by a legion of Glimps who had to sneak back and forth between the house and their Dungeon by night. Furniture was built by nuns Alex felt uncomfortably warm being in the same room as. Barry and Larry, the gargoyles, fashioned a new kitchen out of stone and magic. Everything was done under the barking orders of Vrshkeuc, and System help anyone who made a mistake or accidentally rustled a gashapong too aggressively.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Right on cue, a dozen little plastic toys filled with miniature sentience rushed him. A pink dragon no larger than a walnut flew over and roared from his shoulder. An assembly of baked goods hoped over and made little noises at his feet. Several gashapong dogs, which were really mass manufactured Familiars Snu stole from a store, barked and demanded some attention. Cats the size of Alex's pinky in all colours with eyes too large blinked lazily in welcome from their perches.

"Yeah, attack, my plastic children!" Vrshkeuc yelled as she plopped herself down on a bean bag. "Get him. Please. No seriously, taking care of you all and making sure you don't die is going to give me a heart attack."

A dozen more gashapong piled on top Vrshkeuc to tug on her hair. Alex knew she was joking. The Gremlin loved the toys who followed her around and were either causing chaos or sleeping in adorable piles. He wasn't sure how many they had rescued, but he had to guess there were a hundred scattered around the house or in the Leather Spires. They didn't even eat, just lived of ambient Essence from the atmosphere. Alex was happy they weren't forgotten at the bottom of a junk drawer.

He caught up with Vrshkeuc and waited for Snu while playing with the gashapong. She told him all about her many romantic partners, about their various terrifying interests, and how she was just looking for a regular old Joe.

"It's not easy, you know?" The Gremlin sharpened her claws on her teeth and waved tiredly as a cheese wheel tried to braid what little hair she had. "Dating in this city. Half the one's that like me are either Gremlins, and let's be honest, yuck, while the other half only like me because I am a Gremlin, which, double-yuck! You know, what I need is a rich one. Help me set up all my enterprises. I haaaave ideas, you know! Big ones! See, if I can get one to help me set up the structure like the sisters did? I'll be in business, lover boy. Big business! Enron level big business."

Alex didn't know what kind of businesses a Gremlin would run, nor did he understand setting up any kind of enterprise. He just nodded along and waited for Snu. What he did know, from the ranting Snu and Giat had done to him, was that setting up shop outside of a Dungeon was almost impossible for a Dungeon Boss.

Turned out, they couldn't just open a business outside of their Dungeon. Showing their real identities at the Tax Guild, or the Property Guild, or the Water Guild, or the Sewage Guild, would cause every Adventurer in a ten-mile radius to rush them. If they died outside of their Dungeon, they were dead permanently. The sisters…well, sorority sisters who shared a Dungeon, did figure it out in the end.

They could pass for human and walk around by changing out their name Titles easy enough. The second part, opening a shell company on the outside that they controlled and funded, had also been surprisingly uncomplicated.

After running the Leather Spires for twenty years, both Snu and Giat had plenty of blackmail material. A few phone calls later, with a good measure of threats to some of the richest and most adulterous Adventurers sprinkled in, the sisters were set up with multiple shell companies stuffed to the brim with their Credits under their full control. Full control in the sense of, they told their blackmail hostages where their saved-up Credits was going, and if they said no, good luck explaining the binders of photos to your partner. Alex had been seriously impressed with how quickly they had then moved to purchase the house all without batting an eye at the insane prices.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Several million Credits for a house? Here I am with a couple thousand…

Someone clomped down the stairs quickly while he and Vrshkeuc chatted.

"Who's here talking about business ideas?" Snu asked as she turned the corner and settled her eyes on Alex. Her smarmy look dropped before she rushed forward.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Alex got up just in time to be tackled back into the couch by Snu. Even though she was barely five feet tall in her human, non-giantess form, she was still a Silver Tier Dungeon boss. Plus, he hadn't let her know he was coming.

"Mwah. Mwah. Mwah," she peppered him with kisses all over his face while Vrshkeuc groaned from her seat. "And here, and there, and what are THOSE?"

The [Bluebell Suckers] were a hit. After some rustling around to find something vase-like, Snu and Alex left Vrshkeuc with the gashapong, who had decided throwing themselves off a tall bookshelf onto the couch was on their morning agenda.

"All warded, too," Snu directed Alex to peak into one of the bedrooms on the second floor. "Cost a fortune, but we needed them done well to stop the…well, stop whoever we take in from destroying the place."

The hallways were lined with fresh red carpet, and Snu had even gotten some relaxing art spaced throughout in such a way to not feel overly planned. Each piece was a landscape come alive through enchantments, with the wind blowing or the ocean churning, or the jungle jostling.

Stepping a foot into an open room, Alex made sure to grandly compliment it. Nice bed, wardrobe, even a little desk. Feeling his Essence become stifled was a strange, but he supposed she knew best. Each room was just different enough to make the whole place feel like a home and not a hospital. Snu bounded off to show Alex the third floor.

The ceiling was stuffier up there, though no less homey, and as Snu dragged him towards the library, he finally felt his stomach churn as he passed by a closed bedroom door.

"Yeah…," Snu stopped dragging him and leaned her head onto his shoulder as they faced the closed door together. "She's getting better. Slowly, for sure, and she's eating Vrshkeuc's cooking. Slowly but surely, she'll come out of her shell, I think."

"Is she mad? Pissed? Planning a prison escape?" Alex tried to make light of the situation as his belly sloshed from his obvious nerves.

"Her door doesn't even lock from the outside," Snu said pointedly before sighing and squeezing Alex's arm. "She doesn't want to leave. Could if she wanted, but I think what she really needs is time. Can you imagine losing access to your Skills or worse, the System?"

"What about the Krushers? They haven't sniffed out the place yet? You're not worried?"

"No, I'm not," Snu looked up at Alex. "We have enough wards on this place that I can tell when someone farts out on the sidewalk. No one has even come looking for her. I…I don't think she has anyone out there. That cares enough to look for her, at least."

Well that stung. Alex did not like Britanii, but he could feel pity welling up inside him. And guilt. He didn't plan to accidentally turn her into a Dungeon Boss with the cursed bracelet, or plan for her to go full banshee mode. He did sort of plan to handle her when she came for his people. But he had dated Britanii and he knew some of her history. In a post System world, it was a familiar enough story.

Like him, Britanii didn't have any family. Her parents had owned some kind of shop way out in the west end, and when the going got tough, they had turned to Adventuring. Risk your life traversing Dungeons. Reap the rewards! The Adventurer Guild would look for one decent enough attack Skill, give you your little chit, and send you on your way to battle against all manner of Boss and Monster. Most Adventurers lived brutally short lives, especially the ones that hadn't honed their Skills through years of fighting and tried their luck with a [Slice] Skill that worked real good for cutting up boxes, but terribly on even the lowest grade Boss.

So, in that moment, Alex did feel something like pity. A little sliver. Hell, even when looking at the forums, he'd seen Britanii's previous Dungeon added to an infinitely scrollable list of one's marked [not worth it] and [farm when necessary].

"She's not just her Skills. Or her anger. Or her link to the System," Snu placed her hand on Britanii's door. "Right now, she's just a young woman trying to be a young woman again. Look."

Snu used some kind of Skill, and the solid door became transparent. Despite the fact that he knew from the last tour that Britanii couldn't see them, he still found it extremely unsettling to look upon his ex that had tried on multiple occasions to kill him.

Except, this Britanii didn't ooze malice. Her pustules were gone thanks to some healing Skill from Giat, and her scraggly hair had been shorn short to her scalp. It was growing back in an ember buzz cut. Britanii herself looked less like a walking skeleton monster, and more like a small woman sitting in bed absently drawing on a notepad in the privacy of her room.

"She looks--,"

"Calm, I know," Snu waved her hand and the door went back to solid, cutting off their view. She turned her head quickly and smiled up at Alex. "Enough with the long face! C'mon, tour's not done, and it's not every day my stud muffin randomly visits me."

Alex felt the gut churning disappear and he was dragged forward by her contagious energy. The nervous girl he had brought on the date was still there, but around Alex these days, Snu allowed her real self to shine through. And the real Snu was a little sassy weirdo with a giant heart.

"I think you'll like this, I just finished getting some more," Snu yanked him into the last room on the third floor and spun in a circle. "Pretty nice, right?"

It was effectively a large broom closet converted into a library. Bookshelves were stuffed with paperbacks of fantasy, science fiction, romance, regular fiction, non-fiction, everything. All second hand of course. There was a little leather couch that was too big, and what Alex knew had to be a terribly expensive stained-glass lamp that constantly shifted it's colours around.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh," Snu plopped herself onto the couch and swung her feet that dangled. "Cool, right? Little place for the guests to read, relax, sip some tea?" She beamed at Alex and patted the seat next to her.

The whole thing was impressive. In three short weeks, Snu had bought, fixed, and started to fill up her new project house.

"This is incredible, Snu," Alex told her as he sat down next to her and trailed his fingers on her shoulder. "Seriously. You've done so much, and I just wanted to say, I'm proud of you for taking the leap and doing something like this."

"You think? You think I'm ready to start taking in others?" She shifted so she was on her knees facing him and continued to speak fast. "I know I need a couple more staff, but I put an ad out for a therapist, and some security, and the Monsters can cover a lot of stuff. But I just want to help someone! This," she waved her hand gesturing to the space, "is meant to be a place for Monsters, Bosses, Liches, whoever, to come and heal. And if anyone screws with it…Oh me and Giat will deal with them."

"Dungeons fine too? What if another raid happens? Monsters can handle that?" Alex asked.

"See, that's the funny thing about my Skills," Snu smiled evilly and wiggled over to him. She snapped her fingers and the door to the library closed. That wasn't impressive, given what he had seen Snu do. What was impressive was the gaping hole in the back of the door that had appeared.

"It's all our Domain, and I can get anywhere within it."

Alex recognized the interior of Snu's Dungeon Boss Lair from the hole in the door. Her giant bed covered in silk, the giant bean bag, the floating chandeliers filled with candles, the gashapong that jumped everywhere spear tackling one another for play.

"Ok, that is impressive. You can get back to your Dungeon whenever you want?"

"Duh," Snu pressed against him. "Back and forth between here. I can do a ton, you know that. But even I was surprised when you showed up this morning. Your texts made it seem like maybe tomorrow night, but this is a welcome surprise. Flowers too? What a good boyfriend."

She kissed him then, just once, before pulling away.

"I didn't even get anything ready," she sighed and snapped her fingers. The portal back to her Dungeon closed shut, leaving them in the small library. "Are you hungry? You could eat, right?"

"Oh, no, seriously," Alex answered, getting back closer to her. "I ate before I came, don't worry. Just wanted to see you. Surprises, you know?"

"You sure?" Snu arched her back in Alex's favourite way. "We can hang out, but I think you might be hungry."

"No," Alex laughed, not getting her point. "Not hungry, but yeah, we can go grab something if you want? On me?"

"Oh, Alex," Snu started to pull up her sweater. "You're not understanding. You're hungry, right? It's just been so stressful, getting this place all set up."

Alex had seen her bare form many times by now. Every damn time though, he couldn't help his jaw hanging low as he took her in. He also finally got what she was getting at.

"You know what?" He asked as he got back over to her. "I could definitely eat."

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