The Blackthorn team strolled down the cobbled streets of the market square of Nettlehusk. Pip clanked along cheerfully, his chassis shining from his most recent buff-and-oil session.

Penelo and Lula were flanking him like personal security guards, if security guards were constantly giggling, swatting away admirers, and carrying shopping bags stacked as high as their heads.

"No, sorry! The Pleasure Prince fully booked!" Penelo called out for the third time in five minutes as a red-faced shopkeeper tried to shove a bag of gold into Pip's hands.

"We'll pass your... marriage proposal to him later," Lula added to a blushing noblewoman who promptly fainted.

"Mother's milk," Veena muttered, tugging on her satchel strap, "you'd think we were traveling with a demigod."

"We kind of are," Sera replied with a shrug, her eyes scanning a nearby stall selling enchanted boot polish. "The pleasure kind. Which, let's be honest, is the best kind."

Behind them, Zora floated with his arms crossed and a wide-brimmed hat hiding his skull. "At this point, he could run for mayor."

"Don't tempt them," Vuvi snapped, sipping from her flask as she strutted beside Pip. "We'll never get out of this town at this rate."

The team's chatter came to an abrupt halt as a murmur rippled down the street ahead. Heads turned.

A strange sound… chanting, faint and rhythmic rose above the usual market noise.

From the far end of the road came a growing crowd, dressed in flowing white and silver robes, forming a procession that cut through the bustling plaza like a divine blade. The front line held long banners stitched with holy text, the sigil of the Great Mother gleaming atop golden poles.

At the center of it all strode a serene, striking woman in pristine white, her silver-trimmed veil fluttering behind her.

Monks chanted her name in soft, reverent tones.

"Saint Sister Evania."

"Oh great," Vuvi muttered, already pocketing her flask. "Another one."

The monks fanned out as they reached Pip, surrounding him with eerie synchrony. The saint sister knelt directly before him, eyes wide and shimmering.

"Divine one," she said breathlessly, "we have come in peace, humbled by your mercy. The tales of your healing touch and pure essence have reached the halls of our highest sanctum. I, Evania, Seventh Sister of the Church of the Great Mother, am honored beyond words to kneel before you."

The team all blinked.

Vuvi stepped forward with a groan. "Right. Okay. First off, hi. Secondly, no. We've been through this already with Sister Liorna in Market Town. Pip isn't signing up for church duties. We've got a schedule and a two-week trek to the Dwarven Kingdom, and—"

Saint Evania gasped. "You're leaving?!"

She threw her hands over her mouth and burst into sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks. "No... no, I'm too late. I was sent to beseech him. He is the instrument of the Great Mother's will. We were told he would guide the lost with his... his blessed pistons."

Pip tilted his head, gears clicking sympathetically. He reached out and gently touched her shoulder, sending a warm, understanding thought wave into her mind.

Evania's breath caught.

"I... I felt him!" she gasped, staggering to her feet and pressing her hand to her chest. "He spoke to me… into my soul! He wants to help us. I know it!"

Vuvi rolled her eyes. "He wants to help you, Sister. Personally. One-on-one. Preferably in a hot bath."

The saint turned red. "Is... is that true?"

Pip gave a friendly little beep and nodded once.

Evania's knees wobbled, and she sighed like a maiden in a bard's romance. "The Mother of Mercy herself will be displeased... but how could I deny a divine invitation such as this?"

"We're not inviting you to the kingdom, if that's what you're thinking," Veena added quickly, already catching the spark of fanaticism in the woman's eyes.

Evania turned to Pip, grabbing his hand. "Would you… would you bless me too, like Sister Liorna? She said it was the most sacred communion she's ever experienced. Her third eye opened."

Penelo nearly choked. "Is that what we're calling it now?"

Vuvi grumbled, yanked a business card from her coat, and flung it at the saint sister's chest.

"We leave tomorrow morning. Pip's working one last night. If you want in, be there or keep sobbing in the gutters. Your choice."

Evania squealed and bowed so fast her nose nearly hit the floor. "Thank you, blessed Vuvela of the Blackthorn! Thank you, oh divine one!" She kissed Pip's hand three times before rising and hurrying off, her monks following with banners raised high, now chanting new names:

"The Gleaming Gear!"

"The Blessed Bolt!"

"The Lube of Light!"

Zora let out a long wheeze. "Oh... oh this is escalating faster than my last resurrection."

Sera doubled over laughing. "The Lube of Light?! That one's going on a shirt."

Pip turned to Vuvi and beeped modestly.

"Yeah yeah, don't let it go to your head," Vuvi muttered, finishing her flask. "Saint Sister Pillowface back there's just a woman in need like the rest of them."

As the group resumed their stroll, albeit a bit slower due to Pip's growing entourage of awestruck townsfolk, Mika leaned against a darkened archway a street away, cloaked in shadows.

She bit into her third custard bun of the hour.

Next to her, Xenara crouched on the wall like a gothic spider, slowly munching a massive turkey leg.

"You gonna keep stalking them in silence?" Xenara asked, voice muffled by meat.

Mika shrugged. "They're idiots. But... entertaining ones."

Xenara grinned. "You're starting to like 'em."

"I tolerate them," Mika replied quickly. "Barely. And only because one of them might accidentally cause the apocalypse or end it. Still not sure."

Xenara chuckled. "Yeah, yeah. You just happen to be watching them eat pastries, get worshipped, and hand out business cards for a sex golem."

Mika muttered something unholy and took another bite.

--------------------

By sunset, the team returned to the Blackthorn House of Pleasure with their arms full of supplies, Pip surrounded by a gaggle of admirers. Veena was busy organizing food deliveries while Penelo and Lula filtered out appointment requests from the "Pleasure Prince Fan Club."

Vuvi rubbed her temples.

"I swear," she muttered, "if one more person calls him the Lube of Light, I'm setting fire to this town myself."

Sera waltzed in, already dressed in black silk, and whispered, "Saint Sister's here."

Vuvi sighed. "Of course she is."

Lula poked her head out from behind the kitchen door. "She brought, like... sixty muffins. I think they're sacred."

Penelo nodded. "I already ate three. I feel vaguely enlightened."

Vuvi shook her head and raised her flask once more. "Let's just get through tonight. Then we leave. Before this town tries to canonize Pip and build a basilica in his honor."

In the alley across the street, Mika adjusted her hood, eyes fixed on the glowing windows of the pleasure house.

Xenara took another bite of turkey leg and muttered, "Gonna be real sad when we leave this gig."

Mika grunted.

"Same."

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.