Walking up to the cookie door, Hildi breaks off a piece of the chocolate handle and starts eating it, prompting the voice of an old lady to appear.

"Nibble, nibble, like a mouse. Who is nibbling at my house?"

Wait a second…that's HER house???

Hildi answers "Not a mouse but a tick, that brings its kid with on a trip. Not to offer, but to sleep, instead to pay with coin or take a leave. One day tonight will sure suffice, a room for two, both cold, warm and nice"

"A price paid in coin will be alright, for you it's three Hail, five Flake per night. But if you offer other pay, an upcharge will be in your way. In Springcoin, one Goosel ten Ducky will be required, for Summer, three Laker is what I desire, for Autumn, four Harvest Coins five Squirrel as pay and the door won't longer be in your way."

Hildi then takes out five Flake coins and three slightly bigger coins, which I'm guessing are the Hail coins, and shoves them through a slit in the door, prompting it to unlock.

"Hildi I have a very bad feeling about this…I think she might try to eat me!"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous Sammy. Gundola only eats human children, she'd never touch a Fey one. In fact, she is quite doting on her younger patrons!" She says with a scolding look on her face, "I'm sure she'll love to meet you in person!"

Yeah, more like, 'Eat me in person'.

Hildi then opens the door, revealing a buzzing Inn full of different patrons and it looks like even the inside is made of candy. The tables full of food and drink are made of ice cream sandwiches, with some even having a few bites taken out of them. The chairs are made of pretzel sticks and they too seem to have also been nibbled on, like all other furniture. There's a chocolate chandelier, with marshmallow candles that slightly drip on the ground made of crackers with each swing. Licorice sticks impaled into the walls through dango balls, are being used as cushioned seats for flying people to sit on and huge star shaped marmalade Christmas cookies are implanted in the walls like shuriken to serve as tables for them. There are also teacups full of differently colored liquids for aquatic races to sit in. They seem to be standing on tracks and are able to move in their tea cups throughout the entire inn like a small train. The bigger tea kettles for multiple people to sit in even make chu-chu noises and let off steam as they go throughout the Inn. The front counter seems to be made out of one giant brick of the sturdiest material known to man, fruit cake; but even out of that, someone managed to bite something off. And whoever it was must have had quite the big mouth too as the giant teeth marks are still visible.

Behind the fruitcake counter, is an old, heavyset, ugly woman with a long nose and a big hairy wart on it, clothed in colorful, baggy clothing. When she sees us walking over to her, she smiles and waves at me, her one candy corn tooth peeking out at me through her mostly toothless mouth.

In a high but raspy voice she asks Hildi, "Kikikiki if it isn't my favorite parasite, Hildegard. Say who got you knocked up? Was it the bee princess?"

"Nice to meet you too Gundola. Elbee is a queen now, and no she didn't."

"Then who is the other parent?"

"We don't know yet."

She then gasps and says, "I didn't take you to be such a slut, Hildegard! How many people did you sleep with!?"

"What!? First of all, none of your business! Second, she's not of my loins, I just adopted her."

Pulling out a handkerchief made of cotton candy, she wipes some lose tears away, "Oh, thank the Dark Lady. I had thought you'd started whoring yourself out, going down the path of self-indulgence, taking drugs, losing your house gambling and then dying in the gutter."

With an exasperated face, Hildi answers, "You have a very vivid imagination as always Gundola."

"Not imagination, just experience, kikikiki. Aren't you going to introduce me to your daughter?"

"Oh yes, that's Sammy. She is an orphan. We have no idea where her parents are but we're trying to do some research into it today. But first, we're checking out what weapon she has an aptitude for."

"Ah, I still remember to this day the first time I found my trusty old cleaver... Oh, how many humans we have chopped up together and made into soup, kikikiki. I sure hope you'll find a weapon that suits you my dear. Oh, I almost forgot to ask, say child, what shall I call you?"

"Sam." I answer, while hiding behind, Hildi.

"Oh, you're a little shy aren't you, Sam?" She then takes her candy cane glasses out and looks me up and down before staring at my kidlets for a while. "Oh, my! No wonder why! You're just a little baby!"

She then starts leaning further over the counter, getting bigger and bigger until it is revealed she is sitting on a flying broom. She then takes a shiny red apple out of her pocket and flies over to me. "Here, my dear. A nice, sweet apple for you, kikikiki."

I squint my eyes at her and the apple and say, "That's poisoned, isn't it?"

Gundola looks a little confused at that remark while Hildi gasps and says, "Sammy! Don't be rude! I'm very surprised by this behavior, Gundola, usually she is very polite."

"It's alright Hildegard. I can assure you Sammy this apple is not poisoned, kikikiki." she says with a creepy smile.

"If it's not poisoned then why don't you take a bite out of it?"

"Sammy! Now you're going too far!" Hildi yells at me angrily.

"No, no it's fine," Gundola says and takes a bite out of the apple, chews it for a bit and swallows. "See? It's completely fine Kikiki. Now would you want a bite?" She asks in a sinister tone.

"No thanks, it has granny spit all over it now."

"Alright that's enough!" Hildi yells at me prompting the patrons to stare at us, "You're going to tell me right now what your problem is with Gundola!"

"She's an evil witch that eats children! Everyone in a ten-mile radius can tell she is evil and shady as fuck! Just look at her! The red apple? Poisoned just like Snow White's, the candy house? Just like the one where she lures in children, like Hansel and Gretel, to fatten them up and cook them in the oven! She even has a flying broom! Everyone knows that is a universal sign for evil witches! She might even turn to ash if I throw water on her like the Wicked Witch of the West."

"Wow…I'm speechless Sammy. I really am…I didn't know you'd harbor that much racism and hate against someone you don't even know."

"Racism?!? What do you mean? She eats kids!"

"So!? You drink blood too! Don't you dare judge others for what they need to do to live! You sounded like a Seelie there. Gundola didn't choose what she needs to survive and neither did you!"

"I… I guess you are right… I didn't think of that…"

"And who is that Snow White anyways? Or Hansel and Gretel, and the Wicked Witch of the West? These sound way too specific to be made up by you."

"They're fairy tales my human parents taught me. Snow White is about a princess whose witch mother is jealous of her beauty, so she tries to kill her first by an assassination, then when that fails, and she hides with seven friendly dwarfs, the queen turns into a hag and offers her a poisoned apple to kill her. She doesn't completely die from it though, because the apple piece gets stuck in her throat, so she falls into a coma. The dwarfs, to preserve her beauty, put her into a glass casket above ground until a prince comes by and through true love's kiss, lifts the curse of the apple. They then marry and invite the hag to her wedding. When she visits, she is forced to wear red hot iron shoes and dance until she dies. Hansel and Gretel is a story of poor children being orphaned by their heartless mother. They then find a witch's candy house in the forest. Hungry and tired, they start to eat from it and the evil witch then kidnaps Hansel and Gretel. She force feeds Hansel to make him fat, so she can eat him, and makes the girl her slave. But the girl manages to kill the witch by throwing her into her own oven and locking it from the outside until she burns to death. They then find her stockpiled treasure and bring it back home where they are welcomed with open arms. The Wicked Witch of the West is just an evil witch that tries to destroy a kingdom with her flying monkeys and dies when she comes in contact with water."

It is then that the entire mood of the room goes from interest, to shock and then anger, looking at me like I just screamed the n-word. It looks like Hildi wants to say something but then stops herself. It seems like she's thinking.

After a few uncomfortable moments of silence, Gundola lets out a sigh and says, "I'm not even angry anymore after hearing this," looking at the crowd that formed, she adds, "And neither should you. Look at her," she then takes me by my arm to show everyone my kidlets, prompting another round of whispering and shock to go through the crowd.

"This is what happens to your kids when you send them to grow up near humans. This is of no fault to her but full fault to her parents, abandoning her to be raised among humans. Not even twenty years of age and she was told all these horrible, violent stories of Fey being murdered and shown as enemies of mankind. And adding insult to injury, they have the gall to call them fairy tales!"

There is mumbling going on throughout the patrons and the Fairykind seem to be especially offended.

"THIS is why we're Unseelie, to prevent the abuse of children like her!"

"Hear, hear!" Someone in the crowd says.

"Down with the naked apes!" A small pixie adds.

Gundola then continues, "This is why I ask of you, be not angry at the child. Teach her compassion, treat her with kindness, so the human propaganda does not settle in her developing mind."

Following her speech the crowd cheers and multiple Fey come up to me to give me hugs, head pats and candy before going back to their seats and eating again. Gundola then goes behind her counter again and brings out another red apple, "There you go Sam, this time without granny spit on it kikikiki." She hands it to me and trying to not cause any further stink, I bite into it. It's a really good apple.

"It tastes great..." I say.

"And there is more where that came from, kikikiki."

She then ruffles my hair and goes back behind the counter.

Looking towards Hildi however, she still seems deep in thought.

"Ehm, Hildi?" I ask sheepishly.

"Not now Sam," she says in a cold voice.

Fuck. She just called me Sam not Sammy…that can't be a good sign. That's a total mom move of, 'I'm super pissed, and I'll give you the cold shoulder for the next five days or so'. Damn… I don't think there is anything you can do against that either besides lay low and wait for things to cool down…

"Let's go outside for a second," Hildi says, moving towards the door.

Fuuuuck this is definitely a stage two angry mom scenario… She's sooo gonna whoop my ass. And she can make another two sets of arms too… That's like three times the wailing… No wait, moms use one arm to pin you down, and the other to hit so it's more like five times the wailing…FUUUUUCK.

I follow her outside. She takes me to a quiet alley and then stops. In preparation for the inevitable I stand against the cookie wall butt out, head down.

"Sam, what are you doing?"

"You're mad at me for saying those things, right? I just wanted to make it easier on you."

There is another pause before Hildi continues, "Sammy…I'm not going to hurt you. This is actually why I wanted to talk with you. I knew when I picked you up that you basically knew nothing of our ways or world. Which is fine, I thought, I'll just show you around and teach you about all the different things in the world. What I didn't know though, was that not only did you not know a lot but you were taught a lot of bad things. To be honest it shocked me, not only what was being taught to you in these 'fairy tales' but also how violent they were.

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. You even expect me to hurt you for something that you've been indoctrinated to believe by your Human parents. I just want to ask you Sammy, that from now on, when you have prejudice against someone, be they positive or negative, you talk to me about them first. Some of them may be right, some of them may be wrong but it's important you tell me about them before I put you in a situation like this again. I should have realized when you were scared of Gundola eating you, that something wasn't right. I shrugged it off as something you had overheard and that was my mistake. It saddens me that I got you into a situation where you were scared and felt threatened. I'll try to do better in the future, so how about we both work together on listening to each other and sharing our thoughts?"

Surprised, I answer, "Eh…sure. That seems reasonable…So…You aren't mad at me?"

"No Sammy, not at all. Now how about we go into our room, put our luggage down and then explore the weapons section? Sound good to you?"

"Eh…Yeah, actually. Sounds great!" Hildi then holds out her hand to me. I take it and we both walk back to Gundola's Gorgeous Inn.

That…Went very different from how I thought it was going to go. Usually, I'd assume she's lying and is actually angry and hiding it, the typical woman thing. But since Fey can't lie… I guess it's just not what I expected and I should leave it at that and be glad the trip isn't going to be awkward. When we enter the Inn again, some of the patrons greet me with smiles and waves as we move back to the counter where Hildi picks up a key and we move upstairs, through one of the pancake towers, to the second of five floors where I am greeted by a rainbow gummy carpeted hallway with different doors made out of different sweets. The Floor illuminated solely by lit marshmallow torches hung up on the walls and the distant lights of the bazaar coming in through a window at the end of the hallway. I wonder when the sun comes out? We've been walking for hours and it's still dark out.

"Hey Hildi?"

"Hmm?"

"When is it going to be day? It's been dark when we got here and still it's pitch black out."

"You'll have to get used to it Sam, because this place is perpetually dark. It's under the protection of the dark lady, the Unseelie Queen."

"Huh, what's she like?"

"Hmm, hard to know. You don't see her much. She has taken a back seat a few thousand years ago to give more reign to her daughter, but from what I know she is still in charge and does a lot of the things in the background that need to be done and people don't think about. Like making sure waste disposal is handled correctly, water quality is maintained, and different international contracts are being honored. So, she is still keeping the country together but tries to make sure her daughter gets time to step into her role as the future queen."

"Hmm, is there a picture of the queen?"

"Yeah, we could probably find one at the museum. There aren't any in this region, but we can go visit one some other time in the future."

"Sure! That would be great."

Hildi then takes the key she got from the reception and opens up our room. There are two sides of it split in the middle, a winter wonderland on the right where the window is and a leafy forest on the left. My side has a bed that looks like it's a block of Neapolitan ice cream as a base with a soft brownie mattress on top of it and a white mochi cushion and a blanket made from a pancake resting on top of it. Hildi's bed seems to be made of a carrot cake mattress, resting on a base of caramel, with a green mochi cushion and a pancake blanket.

"Wow!" I say, "I always wanted to stay a night in a themed hotel like this!!!"

"Themed hotel? Oh, you mean because of the sweets?"

"No, not just that. I also mean how the rooms are separated like this and yours is a forest and mines a winter wonderland."

"Oh, that's just normal. Every respectable Inn has rooms dedicated to different tribes and races to make them feel welcomed."

"Wow, neat!"

Going over to my side of the room the temperature suddenly shifts, getting a lot colder. Uncomfortably so. My clothing is not really giving me any warmth. I start shivering.

"What's wrong Sammy? Are you not feeling well?"

"It's just this side of the room is pretty cold. I'm freezing"

"That's…strange. Are you feeling alright otherwise?"

"Eh, yeah I think so"

"Hmm, this is definitely something we'll have to ask my friends about. Can you try laying on the bed? Just to see if you'll be able to sleep"

"Sure."

Taking off my shoes I lay down in bed and put the blanket over me. It's a little chilly but the blanket gives me enough warmth. It's actually quite cozy…The decoration is great too, I always loved winter and Christmas…There is even little powdered sugar raining down imitating snow…It doesn't take long for me to doze off. I dream of being stuck in candy land with different fey creatures and fairy tale characters trying to help me out before waking up hearing Hildi's voice.

"Hey Sammy, wakey wakey, we're here."

Surprised, I find myself in some sort of baby carrier on Hildi's back.

Yawn "Huh, what happened? Where are we?" I ask, still a little groggy.

"Well, you fell asleep almost instantly and I couldn't wake you up, so I got myself a child carrier and carried you here."

A bit embarrassed, I ask, "Aren't I a little too heavy for you to carry around?"

"Pssh, I've worn armor heavier than you before and was still able to do manual labor. Your few pounds don't make much of a difference to what I usually carry," she boasts before gently putting me back on the ground. I rub my eyes for a bit before taking in the sights. We're standing before a huge tent. I can hear the sounds of metal plinking and weapons connecting. The air smells like iron, somewhat irritating my lungs forcing me to cough for a bit before adjusting.

"Just as a heads up for you Sammy, Khopadeeisha is a Yaksha. He looks a liiiittle bit scary and he has a very loud personality but he is really nice and one of the best weapon salesmen here. My family has been doing business with him ever since he moved here three thousand years ago. He was actually the guy that helped me pick out my first weapon."

"What was your first weapon?"

"A special type of sword called Urumi. It's a sword that functions like a whip. Very hard to control but very deadly when you master it."

"Hmm, what do you think my weapon will be?"

"I don't know. All I know is that you'll pick whatever suits your personality best."

"Is this like with the clothing?"

"You'll see, just as a heads up though, we won't let you die."

"Wait what, what's that supposed to mean Hildi?"

"You'll see!" She gives me a weird smile then pushes me into the tent entrance prompting me to fall down a dark pit.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah," Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Umpf is the sound it makes when I land on the bottom of a pit. Looking around, it's pitch black. Even with my eyes I can't see a thing. Then suddenly I hear the sound of drums. Don dokodoko don dokodoko don dokodoko don. Then suddenly, a light. Then two, then three. All around me in a circle suddenly illuminating the area. It seems like I'm inside a circular pit full of different weapons…and skeletons. Above me is what looks like infinite darkness, the room only illuminated by flying skulls with candles on top of them.

Then, out of the darkness, a thunderous voice appears with the drums growing louder, "Welcome to my domain! The skull pit… I am Khopaadeisha, the Skull Lord. And to leave, you will have to defeat the enemies that lie ahead. Take all the time you need but you will not leave until you have beaten your opponents or have become another skull in my collection. The rules are simple. Three challenges lie ahead. Subdue them and you will pass. You will get food and rest and be returned to this chamber whenever you win. Once you've beaten all three, you will face me. Choose your weapons wisely. You will not be able to change them once you enter the challenge rooms. Before every challenge, you may ask for one boon. Either information about your enemy, a piece of armor or for your opponents to be wounded before you enter. Any questions?"

"What does the information of the enemy entail? Also, what sorts of wounds are we talking about?"

"You will get to ask three questions about your opponent as information, the wound would be debilitating but not lethal. Any more questions?"

"Yeah, why are you gay?"

Chuckling, he answers, "I see there's some fight in you, huh? We'll see where that attitude of yours will be after your first fight."

What a farce. I already know I'm in no real danger thanks to Hildi. This is just some elaborate test or something… Probably one of those things where they fake danger to psych you out so you really go all out. This is probably all just some sort of illusion or something. Either way, I should probably play along and take this somewhat seriously. Alrighty…what type of weapon am I looking for? Looking back at my first encounter with Ulchel and thinking from a strategic point of view it would probably be best to get something with range. To be honest, ever since that 'fight', if you can even call it that, it was honestly more a one-sided beat down, I'm not going to take the risk of a fight again unless it is completely necessary. I should probably try to get some sort of defensive item… Although, that would most likely slow me down. I think my strongest attributes would be that I'm small and somewhat quick so I'm hard to hit. If I do get hit with an attack that doesn't stop my movement, I should also be fine thanks to my regeneration. I also get random bursts of strength and overall physical abilities and I have a strong finishing attack via sucking blood. On the downside, I'm usually not strong and my powers aren't reliable. Furthermore, if they damage my legs, neck or head I'll be out of commission for a while and my powers seem to make me lose brain function when they do come up. My blood lust seems to be mostly triggered by hunger and blood though, so a weapon that causes minimal bleeding or internal bleeding would be best. So, the sword is basically the worst weapon I could pick, I also seem to be too weak to use a mallet. The spear would be a decent option and so would the bow and arrow…but the likelihood of me learning how to use a bow this quickly is unlikely. The spear is definitely a contender though. Looking into the more exotic weapons. there are some very interesting weapons like a boomerang or throwing stars. Two weapons stand out more than the others though and are perfect for me. A bola made of three iron balls connected with string to throw at people and entangle them and a spear like weapon that, instead of a pointy tip, has an iron ring with spikes pointing on the inside and a small opening in the front to put around the necks of an opponent and immobilize them. The opening has two prongs that guide the neck inwards and once it's in the prongs close in behind the neck trapping it inside so that you can always get the neck in easily but have it almost impossible to get out. It is the perfect weapon for me.

"Say, Skull dude. What is this weapon called?"

"It is called a man catcher."

"Hmm, very fitting. Say, Bone man, can I take more than one weapon?"

"You can take as many as you can carry."

"I'll take the bola and the man catcher then."

I should probably practice using these a little too…Or I could just learn by doing it in actual 'combat'. That would probably be more efficient anyways. It would probably also not hurt to take a dagger with me though, just in case I can't or don't want to bite into them or something. Alright, and as for my first boon I should probably get a helmet to protect my head.

"Alrighty, Pinky Prince. For my first boon I want a helmet that protects my neck."

"Granted."

Suddenly, from the ground a pedestal erupts. On it, a dome like helmet with a spike on the top and hair-like vines hanging down from all sides besides the face area. The helmet seems to be made out of an ornate shell of sorts, with different engravings and jewels on it. Putting it on, it fits perfectly and is quite comfortable.

"Now challenger, face your first foe. A fearsome Redcap, imprisoned for murder."

OoOoOh very spooky, let's see what this redcap is like. Walking through the door, I come upon what looks like the ruins of a church in the woods. It seems to be in the clearing of a forest but I should still be inside the tent, right? It must be an illusion of sorts. As I carry on towards the ruins, the door behind me shuts and when I turn around it has disappeared. As I walk closer to the ruins, I can hear the sound of what looks like stomping. Like something metal is repeatedly hitting stone.

Weary, I take my man catcher into my hands and sneak toward the church. Peaking around the rubble, I can see the origin of the sound. A small garden gnome-like person, a little smaller than me, with dirty clothes and a dripping red cap on its head, jumps on an altar with its metal boots, laughing maniacally, seemingly not noticing me.

Trying to exploit this opportunity, I try sneaking up behind it, slowly getting closer, aiming my man catcher towards it. Just before getting in reach however, I hear the sound of a bell coming from my feet. Looking down, it seems I stepped on a trip wire connected to a bell hidden behind a shrub. Not wanting to waste this opportunity, I charge at the Redcap with my man catcher but right before I get him, he squats down, picks up a scythe and turns around. His facial expression is that of an insane person. He has grayish skin, elongated ears and long spindly fingers with claw-like nails on them. His face is adorned with a long, dirty and disheveled gray beard reaching down to his knees.

In a both gravely and shrill voice he screams at me "Blood, blood, plit plat, blood makes red, red means no dead. HAHAHAHA."

Damn, he is really committed to the role play. Maybe I should add to it a little as well.

"Your evil deeds will be punished Redcap and your victims shall be avenged by-," he interrupts me by swinging his scythe at me prompting me to dodge backwards. "Come on man that was unfair I wasn't-," he again tries to attack me but this time I keep him at range with my man catcher. Guess he doesn't wanna talk. Trying to go on the offensive, I pierce forward with my man catcher in an attempt to get to his neck but he jumps around a lot, squats and dodges my attacks, all the while taunting me by making several different grimaces. Getting a little pissed, I'm going more on the offensive, taking more risks and showing more initiative but again this little shit keeps avoiding me, mostly by squatting under my weapon. I don't really know what to do now, I'm starting to get out of breath and my weapon becomes heavier the longer I have to hold it. Seemingly exploiting this weakness, the Redcap throws stones in my face that it must have been picking up when squatting down, crouches under my man catcher and rips it out of my hand, disarming me.

Fuck, I guess he got me. I put up my hands and say, "Alright man, you got me I give up, you wi-." It's then that I fall over feeling a sharp, stinging pain in my leg. Looking down there is a lot of blood and… My leg. "You cut my fucking leg off! AAAAAAAHHH!"

Fump another leg of mine gets separated as I fall to the ground, there is a sea of blood under me and I don't even feel the pain anymore, I'm just getting dizzy. The Redcap then laughs maniacally, takes off its hat and rubs it in my blood until it's completely red and wet. "Blood, blood, plit plat, blood makes red, red means no dead. HAHAHAHA."

While he's occupied, I try desperately crawling away, leaving a trail of blood behind me like a slug. But I don't get far, I already hear the clinking of metal boots approaching me. Out of desperation I turn around and throw the bola at him, completely missing the Redcap. He laughs again, before jumping on my belly. He is not only heavy, but his shoes are made of iron, burning into my skin as he jumps and tramples on me causing me to vomit up blood. He then promptly cleans the blood over my body up with his cap, smiling at me with a toothy grin while doing so.

I think I only have one more chance left, cupping my dagger with my right hand, I try to punch the Redcap with my left. It gets promptly cut off but I don't even feel any pain anymore. Pretending to pass out I wait for when he tries to mop up my blood again so I can strike. This is my last and only chance. The second I feel him get off my body to soak up blood, I strike, rolling over and with my last limb strike at him, my right arm engulfed in darkness, though he seems to be prepared. Noticing my attack, he smiles and prepares to cut off my last limb but then he suddenly stops, his face is that of horror as I pierce his chest and roll myself on top of him. Biting into his neck and sucking out all the blood I can before passing out.

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