Xem

I spared only glances to the two groups of four that entered the hall, as I was in the middle of helping Artemis out with a particularly tricky arcane construct creature that wasn't responding correctly to the dispel spell. We were just about finished when the two groups converged around me and I looked up confused. When a guy leading one of the groups spoke, I somehow knew he wasn't speaking English, even if I understood what he was saying.

"What's the next test, wizard guy?" he said. He was tall, white and bald and wore a leather jacket. I raised up my Journal in response. "What does that mean?" he said. "Uh, I have a Journal. Only people from Earth have Journals," I said. "Well, technically…" Chum said. "My God!" the man said and drew a pistol on Chum. "Alright everybody, let's calm down," the apparent leader of the other group said. He was a very stylish man, from somewhere around the Mediterranean, probably, in a ruined but clearly fashionable gray suit. "We kill the monsters, that's the test," the first man said. "I'm Alex, this is Chum, he is my familiar," I said. "What is familiar?" the first man said. "I am Yusef, has anyone else been through here, Alex?" Yusef- the second man- said. "I got here first. I had an option to skip a bunch of the tests in exchange for some levels. I'm helping out my group," I said. "Big group?" the first man said. "This conversation would go a lot easier if I knew your name," I said. "Sergei," he said. "We're about fifty, give or take. Forty from our original classrooms survived, then we made some friends," I said. "Classrooms?" Sergei said. Which was the first interesting thing he'd said so far. "Oh? Yeah, our maze was like old classrooms, school halls, that sort of thing. Was it different for you?" I said. "Military compound, maybe bunker. Same booklet thing, but I don't trust it, haven't touched it since I woke up," Sergei said. "How the fuck are you still alive?" Yusef said. Sergei raised his gun up again. "Could you please not wave that around?" I said. "I don't know what sort of witch you are, maybe I should point it at you," Sergei said.

Then the whole room crackled with static arcane power. A door materialized in between us, a stately old wooden double door, and it creaked open like in a horror movie. I don't know what it looked like from behind, as it was in front of me, but when the door opened, I saw a shape, gaunt, humanoid, perhaps eight feet tall, robed and with a massive wizard hat on the head step through. The man who entered the room was not human. His skin was pale blue, and his eyes were black, sclera, cornea and iris, with pinprick lights like stars in shifting constellations.

His robes were black, gold and purple, divided in six wide sections and flowing with so much fabric that they seemed to float. The rim of his hat was perhaps four feet wide and at first appeared to be somewhat floppy, but as it moved it quickly became clear it was more flowing. The fabric flowed in complete disregard to the movement of air or gravity. He had a nose and sharp black eyebrows on his face, and a slightly wispy graying beard flowed all the way down to his waist. And when he spoke it was that same voice that we had heard recorded in many of the rooms just today. The difference was, perhaps, that he wasn't putting on so much of an act, the wild madness was more contained for the moment. Or, perhaps, his alien features and ethereal affect dulled it in our perceptions.

"Ah, my early birds, my first likely graduates. Why, I was sure I wouldn't have to come down here for at least another hour, how wonderful of you," he said.

Sergei shot him six times in the center mass. Instead of flesh and blood he struck densely packed snow, as shards of ice and snow splattered around the room. The architect didn't react. But as he turned to talk to us once again, another thing happened simultaneously.

A pseudoportal opened up behind Sergei's back. It was nothing like one of mine. It was a perfect circle, and it had a frame of frozen crystal around its edges. And through it I saw a room filled with hundreds, no, thousands, hell, uncountable, identical pseudoportals, and a thin line of arcane force traveled through a dozen in an instant. Then, this black line blew out from the pseudoportal here. It hit Sergei in the back and he screamed for less than a second. There was- God, how to describe it.

He immediately began coming apart. Yusef rushed to help, a potion in his hand as soon as he saw the attack coming. It was very much too late. At first I thought I was watching him explode in slow motion, as his skin began bursting away from him, his tongue pulled out of his mouth, his eyes ripped out of their sockets. But none of the pieces moved with physics, each directed with arcane force. Within five seconds where there had been a man, there were now… items.

"What the fuck," One of his companions mouthed, barely spoken out loud.

A neat stack of cured and worked leather. A butcher's board with a dozen pieces of meat cut into perfect steaks. A bucket with ground bonemeal. And a large crystal carafe filled with blood. What little was deemed useless burst into flames. His clothes and items were folded neatly next to his remains. It happened too quickly to react to it, and by the time any of us could react, the alien had began speaking once more.

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"I am an image, a construct, but I am indeed imbued with a small part of the intellect, madness and arcane might of your headmaster. He is Archenarch-Mage Yngarothrax Xem, Hero of the Sixfold Plane, Godslayer, Grand-master of all mortal skills and the Lord of all that is Arcane. He is your host, your king and your god for as long as you are here and striking his image is, of course, out of the question. I congratulate you on your successful arrival, and as a shard of his you may refer to me as Xem," Xem said.

"You killed him," Yusef said. "Did I? That is actually a fascinating philosophical question. Since 'I' made the decision, or rather, the 'I' that is the complete version of myself did do it, and I would have done it, and I am, in a way a part of him I did kill him. On the other hand, I am currently acting distinctly from the Archenarch-Mage Yngarothrax Xem, and though I would follow his every command, I am distinct from him. If you see me as a distinct entity then no, I did not kill him," Xem said. "What do you want from us?" I said. "Oh ask not what you can do for me, but what I can do for you! A mighty wizard, only two Earth days into your Heroic Journey. Truly, among the millions, Alex, you have been noticed," Xem said. "What is this test then," a woman from Sergei's crew spoke up. She was about my age, had short hair, wearing army pants and a tank-top. "All in due time, all in due time. It is remarkable you made it here so quickly, but I cannot be expected to repeat the rules for the final test without everyone here. Why I'd have to repeat myself so many times. And I hate repeating myself," Xem said. "So, what, we just wait?" Yusef said. "Wait, kill each other for achievements and loot, have an orgy. Do a mix of the three, that'd be a sight!" Xem said. "Don't even think about it, pals, Alex got here first and he's been noticed by the architect. He'd wipe the floor with all of youse," Chum said. "We weren't considering it," Yusef said. "Well…" the woman said. "It's not worth any of us to take the risk. We have no idea how powerful each of us are. Also that'd be immoral," I said. "Oooh, I love morality. Very well, you don't have to fuck, it was just a suggestion," Xem said. "And if you don't mind us asking, what will you be doing?" I said. "Oh? I just got here early. I believe there should be around ten thousand copies of myself scattered in similar rooms around the Tower. I so rarely get the time to relax, so when I split off a few slivers of my mind, I make sure to let them have the time to rest. Which is why I'm just a little miffed that I have to interact with you now," Xem said.

Looking at the pile of Sergei, we all moved away and stopped bothering the simulacrum. I was curious about the other people here, of course, but I had actual important work to do. So I went back to my lectern and only answered tersely to the most basic questions they asked me. It was surprising how long it took for the rest of the Guild to make it here. Several dozens of other people arrived before the first of the Guild did. Eventually, a door slammed open and Zack and Hannah stepped through. They were both battered and bloodied, each leaning on the other, but they had smiles on their face, as they entered the room and saw me writing away in the Journal, sending Brooke an explanation about arcane theory. This did finally give me something as I got

Skills Teaching 2

But I had a feeling that everybody was getting close. I ran up to my friends, and explained the basic situation. Hannah stared daggers at Xem, who had tied a hammock between two conjured crystal rods and was reading a book and drinking a drink from an alien fruit with a little umbrella in it.

"I will kill him," Hannah said. "It's not him," I said. "Yeah, let's take a break. You got any fruit, Alex?" Zack said. Oh, what the hell.

I walked up to Xem and put on a respectful facade.

"Lord Xem, may I bother you for a few fruit that are edible by us Earthlings?" I said. "What a polite young man you are, Alex. Have a bucket," he said. And I was confused. I decided that I shouldn't bother the crazy archmage anymore, so I turned to leave, but as I did there was indeed a bucket full of strange purple fruit in front of me.

Zack picked up the bucket, thanked me, and threw the fruit in what looked like a garbage bag, and tied it off.

"I bet this is gonna suck. But booze is booze," Zack said.

I was going to say something, but then suddenly a flurry of discordant sounds, explosions and shouts came from behind us. It seemed that we three of the Guild had come from that direction before, and so I felt safe to assume that it might be them. I picked up my staff and incanted Fus to get my spellbook to follow me, and I rushed towards the door.

It slammed open and Artemis ran through, followed by what looked like the whole rest of the Guild. I was happy to see that even a big chunk of the failure squad had made it through somehow, despite the traitor. Hopefully that meant he was dead.

"Go, go, go!" Artemis was shouting as the Guild rushed through. I saw Lawrence, Brooke and Clarence right away, and many more people I barely remembered. I was looking for Anna, and while I didn't see her, I did see a flash of orange light deeper in the hall behind them.

"There's too many!" A man shouted from inside the halls. "I'll get them," Anna's voice. "No time, you have to get out there now," he said. "I- I'll buy time," Elijah said.

They continued their fighting withdrawal until I saw my friend pursued by a black mass of tentacles and maws, and then Elijah stepped in front of her. He activated his shield ability, and I had a dreadful memory of Mr. Xiang sacrificing himself for the boy. But Anna wasn't Mr. Xiang, and when the barrier went up, she used the opportunity to fill the space beyond the shield with fire, burning whatever creature was pursuing them in near-white flame. She bought enough time, and everyone who was left of the Guild filed into the hall and slammed the door behind them.

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