"I don't feel that good… Do you think it's possible to delay this match? Until, I don't know… maybe we can delay it forever?" I ask toward the empty air above me while holding my hurting head. "No? …I guessed so."

Ah, man. Life is hard. Life is soooooooo hard sometimes…

My eyes wander in fear towards the clock, counting the seconds until the match starts. I wish it would stop ticking.

This is just the second match, and if it were like usual, I'd currently be looking forward to it, waiting excitedly for the 'show' to start. But not today. Today, my head hurts and I feel like puking.

And it's all because of them.

"Why did the fucking Mad Cultists have to show up in this tournament of all places!? Aaaaargh!"

I pull my head's fur for the umpteenth time. I've talked myself into it a lot of times already, but every time I convince myself, it just takes about five seconds to regret my decision.

"How much I wish now that I could go back in time and retract my proposal…"

When we talked about how to face this match, the match against the damn Mad Cultist team, Ricard wanted to spice things up.

To avoid giving the other teams too much info about our abilities and preferences, he argued the best approach was to change the person in charge of defending. By forcing the enemies to adapt to our moves and avoiding the same tactics, we would both keep our aces hidden while not getting too comfortable with the established roles. Laura agreed with him, pointing out the benefits. Even I agreed with his idea!

….or I would have, if it weren't for them.

Against my will, I had to be the sane man advocating for the madmen, explaining what only I know for sure: that tactics and strategies don't work against those madmen.

Of course, I didn't use elaborate explanations or anything like that. It was simpler, something along the lines of 'It won't work. They're doing all this for me, and who knows what those lunatics will do if I'm not there. As long as they find me, I can keep them in check, and I'm sure they'll eventually self-destruct as they always do.'

"I should have shut up. Ugh..."

I did it for our team, to give us a higher winning chance. I offered to sacrifice myself and my mental health for everyone's sake… but this doesn't make my current situation any better.

Time passes between regrets and complaints, until the warning sound of the starting match snaps me out of my spiralling thoughts. Shortly after, white light floods the area surrounding the dungeon portal, and several bright silhouettes appear.

"Here we go…"

I rub my temples one last time to alleviate the pressing headache before swapping to my Mad Rat persona.

The giant screen in front of the dungeon portal lights up, showing my great image to the invaders. I then repeat the rehearsed lines, struggling to keep my fake enthusiasm so both the invaders and viewers don't notice my current pain.

"Welcome, dear invaders! Welcome to… Welcome to definitely not The Mad Rat's Lab! Hahaha!"

…please, kill me and end this already.

With a fake smile on my face and my head about to split, my eyes scan the invaders through the 'screen'. I might as well learn how many players I have to contend with, take a proper look at their formation, and identify the support monsters they brought with them…

"Wait, what…?" A surprised mutter escapes my lips. Luckily, I was mentally prepared for them to pull off something crazy, and, hopefully, the audience didn't notice my change. "Only four humanoids?" I tilt my head.

I have a bad feeling about this…

As soon as the teleport light fades away, the four humanoids kneel on the ground and lower their upper bodies until their foreheads touch the ground, hands extended towards the front with identical postures and forming a perfect line, as if they've rehearsed this multiple times.

This all but confirms my bad feeling. The four characters in front of the dungeon portal are four players; those smooth and synchronized movements aren't possible to achieve with AI.

If the four players are here, it means their dungeon has almost no defenses…

No sane player would leave their dungeon empty, as even with the presence of just one player, the difference in power is huge. The AI, even when programmed properly, isn't as smart as you'd think. It can't adapt to sudden changes or unexpected circumstances, but the player's orders can fix those issues. It isn't weird that, with just one or two orders, the defending player turns the situation around, turning what would have been a defeat into a victory.

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Sending the four players, supported by strong mobs, to try and achieve a quick win is a viable tactic you can use to surprise the opponents, but it is rarely used because it can backfire.

But nothing of the above applies to the whackos in front of me. They didn't bring any support mobs with them, and they left their dungeon empty.

In fact, I'd guess they don't have any plans. Like, none at all. They simply came in, their minds blank, otherwise filled to the brim with weird thoughts

One of the four players, the one with a shark head, in the leftmost position, raises his head and starts shouting with fervor.

"Oh, Great Mad Rat! We're honored to see you once more on this glorious day! We greet you with the greatest of respect! Please illuminate us with Your latest teachings, and allow us to show You and to the whole world our deepest beliefs! Allow us to show You how much we've learned! We'll show You today that even a great person like Yourself isn't free of Your own teachings!"

Yeah… no thanks. Please spare me the trouble and just go die somewhere I can't see you.

Unaware of my thoughts, the shark-headed man then starts repeating the same words, followed by the other three.

"All Shall Despair!"

"All Shall Despair!"

"All Shall Despair!"

My brain freezes, my thoughts completely halted upon realizing something. What will the audience think of all this? I'm kind of used to their madness, but how will they take it? Will they believe their bullshit and think I'm the one behind all their actions? Will they think this was my plan all along!?

I hope not… I swear I don't have anything to do with them! Nothing at all, I say!

No, Andreu. Don't allow them to drag you into their rhythm! Just pretend everything's normal. Let's feign a bit of surprise, showing the audience that I have nothing to do with them and that everything is just caused by their delusions and craziness.

For appearance's sake, I allow them to do whatever they want, ignoring them for a while. It isn't until they stand up that I open my mouth.

"Hahaha…" I hide my face with one hand. "I don't know what you're talking about, but… But I don't care! Hahaha! Since you're so enthusiastic about our dungeon, why don't we play together? Let's play a death game! Fufufu! Hahaha!"

I open my arms wide and start channeling electricity, but the reaction I get from the Mad Cultists isn't what I expected.

Well, admittedly, it's my fault for expecting normal reactions from them.

Simultaneously, the four players stand up. Their eyes glow with madness, and the unnatural smiles make them look alien.

"Yes!" The shark-man's reply makes a shiver go down the spine. "Let's go, everyone! Follow what we planned!"

As soon as he says those words, the four start running in different directions.

The shark-man, who I can safely assume to be their leader, disappears into one of the tunnels, laughing. He's running straight towards the place where our first opponents first fought The Black Horde, likely on purpose.

Another one of them suddenly vanishes right after the shark-man's words. She, too, is a werebeast of some kind, according ot her animal ears, but before I can blink twice, I can't see her anymore. Who knows where she went?

…I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that question.

As for the other two, one guy who looks like a normal human just makes a wry face and slowly starts to follow the shark-headed man.

From the way he walks and looks at his teammates, it gives me the impression he doesn't want to be here. But that should be impossible… Is it possible he's the craziest one, a madman so crazy that he stands out even among the other madmen?

"Hey, Spy! You're going to miss all the action if you don't come quickly! Hahaha!"

After hearing the shark-headed player's reminder, the unusual Mad Cultist stops pretending, his actions returning to those I'm used to. He runs after the team's leader, wildly swinging his arms around and laughing as he runs.

Left behind, alone in the empty room, the remaining player cautiously looks around.

She rubs her thighs together, and when she's sure none of her teammates can see her actions, she starts running towards me, her cheeks slightly flushed.

Well, not the real me, but the 'me' on the screen. She lunges at the screen and starts kissing it, her lips placed right where my mouth is. I unconsciously move away, but she's too skilled at this, swiftly moving to follow my moves, almost as if she could read my mind.

What the fuck is she doing?

"Mad Rat, let's make out together! Leave that pretentious succubus who's always near you behind and take me instead. Don't you like succubus? I'm a succubus too! We're going to marry and have lots of rat-kids together! How many do you want? A hundred? Yeah, let's start there and we'll keep going until we get tired of it…!"

The hair on my whole body stands on end – and keep in mind that I have more hair than normal, thanks to the fur covering my rat head – and a sudden urge to puke overcomes me.

But instead of running away as I want to, I somehow manage to keep my composure. For the audience watching us, mostly.

"Ugh, I…" I start fiddling with the camera recording me. "Why isn't this working properly…? Hmmm, it seems I'm having technical issues…" I make the image flicker, repeatedly pressing the on/off button a few times. "Well, hahaha! It was a pleasure to meet you. Let's see you again once I solve the issue. See you soon! Fufufu! Hahaha!"

"Noooo! Mad Rat, don't leave me alone! I'll miss you!"

I quickly cut off the signal, shutting down the screen in the dungeon portal's room, and swiping the nonexistent sweat off my forehead.

Ugh, this… I can feel my headache growing.

I gaze up high, at empty air. Can I surrender? I'm sure Ricard and the others won't mind if we lose a single match, right? I'll make up to them for it in the remaining three matches.

Sigh… It hasn't been five minutes yet, and I've already gotten enough of them…

"If I had known what would come next, I might have surrendered right then."

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