Excerpt from The Profound and Pretty Princess' Ultimate Guide to Cultivation, Captivation, Cuteness, and Carving Your Way to the Top, English Edition (the worst-selling guide in the history of Putijama)

On Destruction of Enchanted Objects

While enchanted items getting destroyed is not great – at least typically; curses are real – the difference is rather stark between when a rift-enchanted item and almost any human-enchanted item is destroyed.

Destruction of Rift-Enchanted Objects

If a rift-enchanted item is destroyed inside a rift or dungeon, it just breaks. No major fanfare. The theory is that a rift has the ability to dissipate the energies involved in a far less interesting way.

If a rift-enchanted item is destroyed outside a rift or dungeon, there is usually a bit of oddness in the ambient essence and magical happenings in the area for a few minutes. Mostly spells go a bit strange or gain an essence attunement but not much else. Occasionally, something more interesting happens like a small explosion or the object releases some of its stored-up essence which can be absorbed. But even then, it's all pretty tame.

And lame.

Destruction of Human-Enchanted Objects

In general, there's been no recorded difference between destroying a human-enchanted object inside or out of a rift. It's obviously hard to get a control test but the researchers are quite confident there is little to no noticeable difference.

There are, based on the quality and strength of the enchantment, many different reactions when an enchanted object is destroyed, whether that is just the enchantment or the entire object.

There is a massive difference between an enchantment just wearing out from overuse or just a bit too much accumulated damage and the item or enchantment getting 'destroyed'. Unfortunately, much like 'adult materials', you know it when you see it but it's hard to define! The key tends to be was there one or two large hits that did the damage because then the power stored in the enchantment couldn't slowly leak out.

In rough percentages, the outcome when a human-enchanted item is destroyed is 20% nothing, 5% violent explosion, 25% small implosion, 30% small explosion, and 20% 'other', which ranges from a wild surge of mana and essence in the area to a very persistent fart smell that can linger for over a day, with winds unable to move it.

The small explosion is usually the safest of the three worrying ones on the list. Even if the object is being held, the explosion disintegrates the item quite quickly. Essentially, there is a small percussive blast, similar to a very weak [Fireball], and a rain of tiny chunks of the item dispersing at low velocity.

If the object is a weapon, most Tier 1s will only have some first-degree burns on their hands. If it is armor, just a single thin layer of clothing will protect them. Still, you don't want to see what happens with an enchanted thong.

The small implosion is usually fine if the item is not currently in direct contact with someone. With a few common warning signs, most people can easily tell if an enchanted item is about to implode. The wild mana swings in the area from the enchantment that suddenly start draining any essence in the air make it clear it is about to implode. If someone is still wearing the enchanted item when it implodes, it can cause severe damage.

Violent explosion sounds scary. And it probably doesn't do justice to what happens.

Sometimes it is relatively contained, though extremely powerful in a small area, and other times it could level an entire building. It's usually pretty obvious when a violent explosion is coming as it usually only happens when the item is utterly destroyed.

Oddly enough, a violent explosion often does not hurt the person using the enchanted item if they've recently put mana into it; the explosion is directed away from them.

Still, don't rely on 'usually'. If you see an enchanted item sparking madly with mana and essence going crazy, get out.

Special note: there are some grandmaster enchanters where the items they make essentially function as a rift-dropped item, especially when they are destroyed. But that is extremely rare and their items are often far more expensive than can be justified.

So kids, don't go playing with destroying enchanted items. Especially if they aren't made well!

Well this is either great or really bad…

Thinking back to my interaction with Rahila, the troublemaker mage from Vesna's party, and how she seemed so excited for me to look for another match, I wondered if I should have expected it. Or at least expected some kind of 'trouble'.

Ileana's face fell slightly when I didn't reply immediately to her asking what I wanted to bet on our fight.

I tried to think of something smooth but decided to use an old consulting trick instead: ask the question back.

"Well, you're the one who put your name down only for me. What were you hoping I'd bet?"

Her goofy grin said it all though she tried to hide it. "More smithing lessons of course."

Lies.

"And what if you win? What did you want me to offer up?" I asked.

"A nice conversation," she said. At my clearly disbelieving scoff, Ileana continued. "No really. I… want to spend the night with you." She stammered for a bit, blushing furiously. "Not like that! Well, at least… No, I want to hear about your homeworld. We have a tradition here for people getting to know each other and—"

"Are you going to kiss or fight!" Rahila bellowed to a roar from the crowd. At seeing our faces, she grinned evilly. "Maybe both? I guess that could be interesting too! Let's take some bets on—" Ileana's hand was over Rahila's mouth before the woman could yell any further.

Ileana herself declared, "First to five solid target hits. Judges to pick the spots."

At a call for potential judges, Tiesa, Inara, Pavel, Romie, Sasa Sati, and surprisingly Vesna all volunteered. There were tens of others but many were too drunk to even be considered.

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Rahila chose Tiesa, Sasa, and Romie, giving her own teammate a pat on the arm as Vesna went to join the crowd.

That's good. Vesna would probably say I won the point each time as part of her 'duty' to me.

Someone brought over a table for the judges to sit at. Tiesa took Steve from Inara to put him on the table to serve as a fourth judge, moving the small sugar glider around as he recovered from his food coma.

Rahila started really getting into her act as the hype man. "Okay folks, we have a first to five hits match and you all know what that means. Yes, we get to choose which spots they have to hit! What do you say?"

A wave of calls rolled out, washing over us, and it was somewhat hard to understand, all the sounds overlapping. My AAI was useless but my anatomy vocabulary was good enough to see trouble.

Inara stood up, yelling 'butt' repeatedly, the crowd taking up the chant quickly. All three judges gave a nod so Rahila came over with a disc about the size of a teacup saucer that she slapped on both of our right butt cheeks.

The next three spots were chosen rather quickly, though Inara's chants for crotch were shot down by the judges. Ileana and I both had targets on our right thigh, left shoulder, and center lower chest area.

It was confusing to me but Ileana explained the rules while the rest of the crowd battled each other for the final placing.

"It's all pretty simple. You have to strike one of the targets with significant force to win a point. First to five points wins. No stoppage on a successful hit but if someone loses a point, they are invulnerable for the <next few seconds>. Damage is turned down but not off so some people try to incapacitate instead of hit the targets first. I will restrict my strength a bit since I'm so far above you in cultivation. Oh, and let's have fun." She reached over and squeezed my hand.

Is this how they flirt here? Battle each other?

I smiled through my nerves. The entire camp essentially had come back for this single fight and I had no idea why. With the people running the rest area from the nearby village, it was closer to 100 spectators than 50. And most seemed to be at least pleasantly drunk.

"Uh, we never decided what I'd get if I win," I said, trying to distract myself.

"I'm sure you'll think of something interesting," she said with a wink as Rahila placed the last target on our left hands.

Going over my basic strategy, I thought going for a butt shot was going to be rather difficult. Ileana was always an absolute force to be reckoned with in our delves, simply a wave of destruction enabled and supported by her teammates. Getting behind her just wasn't going to happen.

The left hand was interesting as she used a two-handed hammer with a large head, clearly enchanted with some kind of force multiplier. But since her hand was almost always directly on the shaft, I was sure she had extensive training in not getting hit on the hand. Potentially dropping your weapon that served as your main defense as well was not an acceptable outcome in a fight.

Getting a shot to the lower chest was going to be nearly impossible unless she overswung, so I wrote that one off too.

Left shoulder and right thigh seemed like the two spots I'd have any chance at all of hitting.

I had already decided to swap to my backup mace because, although Ileana was tougher than most, I didn't want to potentially actually harm her.

Before I could think too deeply about my defensive strategy, the odd tone they used to start a bout was ringing through my entire being.

Ileana lunged at me, clearly trying to bait a reaction. Her hammer was held in a diagonal across her front, almost like a really poorly designed shield, her left hand at the bottom of the shaft.

While it was clearly an easy target for my mace coming from my right hand, I knew Ileana was far too smart to leave an opening that so easily.

I wound up like I would take a heavy swing at the hand but switched into a quick shield bash at her hands instead.

They moved with lightning quickness, perfectly positioned to take the blow. She followed up, hooking her hammer on my shield to pull it towards her to unbalance me.

Or at least she tried.

Instead of deflecting the move, I let the head of her hammer catch behind my shield and slid forward with it, keeping the shield as close to my body as I could.

It was an opening test but I passed as her sudden boot raise stomped back to the ground instead of at my right thigh.

With her slightly off-balance, I ventured a quick swing at her left shoulder, connecting with the disc. It wasn't my hardest hit but it was dead center.

She grimaced as Rahila announced, "Well, I guess we have a bunch of children judging if that is considered a point! My grandma hits harder than that! Granted, she was a Tier 2 delver and—"

I let the noise fade into the background.

Ileana's pretty smile was slowly morphing into one far scarier. It wasn't manic or angry, simply focused and determined.

The next 30 seconds were a blur, Ileana going on the attack and trying to tire my shield arm through a series of extremely tough strikes.

And then she caught me out.

She swung overhead. I leapt back, letting the hammer scrape down the front of my shield. That was when I let my guard down.

I thought the relatively weak blow was because she was tiring. It was a simple Earth-based thought: people tire quickly after 30 seconds of combat.

But Ileana had trained hard for nearly a decade and had more stamina than someone on Earth could even imagine.

As the hammer cleared the bottom of my shield, she stepped forward suddenly with her right foot, nearly bracing her right shoulder against my shield.

Her swing to her left smashed into my right lower leg, badly unsteadying me.

My shield dropped just enough for her to quickly land a blow on my shoulder.

Instead, with lightning speed, the head of her hammer was suddenly behind my shoulder and she yanked me forwards, turning with grace and quickness to smack at my backside with her weapon as I stumbled past.

In a real fight, it might have been deadly. In this one, it was merely embarrassing.

While it wasn't a devastating blow, I wasn't sure which set of cheeks were redder.

Regaining my composure as she showboated a bit, I glared at her.

Oh, it's on.

Still in my 'invulnerable' state after losing a point, I charged.

While it was a terrible idea in a real battle, Ileana clearly didn't expect me to use the rules to my advantage quite so blatantly.

I saw the second she realized my reckless swing at her hands wasn't a feint.

Rahila screamed in delight. "Oh my goodness! Yes, we know it was a point a piece but I think we all know who came off better in that exchange! Ileana is just toying with him but Terry's playing the game. How will he use the arena and rules to his advantage?" Rahila was circling the fighting arena, barely on the outside and yelling more to us than the crowd.

Ileana's grimace after going down 2-1 gave me a bit of joy. My impish grin seemed to spark something in her as the glare I received in return promised pain.

If I had 50 guesses, I wouldn't have even gotten close to her next move.

She backed up to the edge of the arena, circling for a few seconds before she started charging at me, hammer held against her chest.

When she was only two paces away, she leapt high into the air and brought both feet forward as if to stomp them into my head.

Almost too stunned to react, I cast [Hasty Retreat] to get out of her way and look for an opportunity to strike back.

I only moved back a foot.

As I realized she had baited me, her feet crashed full force into the top of my shield. My entire upper body rocked back and she landed with a cat's grace to swing hard into my exposed right thigh.

The massive slam knocked me off balance again as I barely kept my footing.

The crowd roared.

I groaned.

Ileana gloated.

Rahila screamed.

Oh, it's on.

***

As Ileana brought her hammer back, two arms reaching behind her right shoulder for a resounding strike, I used the mace to jab as quick and hard as I could.

"Nice strike on the chest target by Terry! 4-4!" I heard Rahila roar before my entire world started vibrating like I was a struck gong.

Ileana's full-forced strike smashed into my shield, sending me crashing to the ground, my teeth feeling like they'd chatter out of my mouth.

Glad that was the Tier 2 one.

I thought my regular shield might not have survived.

She had been using a bit more of her power after each point I won and I was proud at least for that.

A morale victory would have to suffice.

I landed in a heap and she dashed over, smacking my left shoulder, then right thigh. Then Ileana tried to flip me over to presumably Coup de Grâce the target on my butt.

Luckily, I had enough wits left to save a bit of my dignity and stopped the last attempt but I was still grumpy.

Until I looked up at Ileana's kind smile. Instead of gloating, she held her hand out and pulled me up, lifting my arm into the air as if I'd won instead of her, walking me around to the crowd's yells.

Rahila's commentary about my 'resounding defeat' had us both chuckling as we walked out of the arena to a chorus of mostly cheers but a few boos from those who bet on me.

I looked down, realizing we were still holding hands. Rather than break the grip, I looked to Ileana. We stood there for at least ten seconds, just smiling at each other.

"Come by my tent later so I can collect on my bet," she said as we departed to go get cleaned up after the rough fight.

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