Chapter 35. It Was Fun to Tease

A high-pitched female voice.

Anyone who heard it would think I had committed some kind of sexual assault.

Of course, since the other party wasn't human, there wouldn't be any legal problems.

[Are you listening?! Let go when I'm asking nicely?!]

“…….”

For the time being, I shoved the crystal into my pocket.

As it was an object that came out of the Arachne Queen's head, I needed to investigate it in detail—but at least not now, not here.

The cheers that had been going on for a long while from the top of the wall were dying down.

People would start moving soon.

I needed to clean this place up and move to a different spot in preparation for any unforeseen circumstances.

The crystal that had been embedded in the Arachne Queen's head had absorbed the sword strike, so no sword marks were left in the vicinity.

Now, all I had to do was get rid of the bisected head and its contents.

‘There's no need to take it with me.’

If I were to carry around the bisected head of the Arachne Queen, I would only be suspected of how I had split it.

It wouldn't help my alibi.

The situation was chaotic due to the Arachne's surprise attack anyway.

Would losing a head be such a big deal?

‘Is there anywhere to hide it?’

A place where people wouldn't look.

For example, a cesspool.

There must be a toilet in one of the nearby houses, so if I just tossed it in there, would anyone find it?

The problem was that I would need a bucket or something to move the gooey contents.

“Ugh-?!”

I frowned at the sudden stench that stabbed the tip of my nose.

The bisected head of the Arachne Queen was melting into a gooey mess.

While I hesitated for a moment at the unexpected situation, what was once a head had turned into a half-pulp.

It was now hard to even tell that it had been split in two.

‘Was removing the crystal the cause?’

It had been smelling a little, so I suppose I should assume the crystal had been preventing it from rotting.

It was a good thing that the effort required to destroy the evidence was reduced.

Seeing this trace would be much more persuasive than saying it was lost during the commotion.

* * *

“It was a splendid command!”

“Haha. Those measly monsters, even if tens of thousands of them came, it would be a piece of cake.”

Just as my patience was about to run out from the worsening stench, I heard the voices of the lord and his vassals, who were the first to descend from the wall.

Right now, while there were still fragments of the Arachne Queen's head left, was my chance.

“My Lord Baron!”

I rushed out in front of the lord and prostrated myself.

“Hmm?”

“……I am the mercenary who brought the Queen's head.”

“Ah, I was wondering what I had forgotten.”

The lord glared at me for a moment before nodding his head only after a vassal explained.

Of course, it was only natural that he was far more interested in the Arachne Queen's head than in me.

More surprising than that was that the vassal recognized me.

I thought all he did was stand by the lord's side and flatter him, but it seemed he had been watching me.

“Where is the Arachne Queen's head? I wish to display it as a memento of our victory.”

The lord looked for the Arachne Queen's head first.

The threat of the Arachne army had taken precedence, so it had been postponed for a moment, but there was no way he would just pass up the head of a precious monster.

“Th-that is……. I think you need to see it for yourself……”

I acted frightened and moved obsequiously, leading the lord to the scene where the Arachne Queen's head was melting.

“Gasp-!”

The lord stopped in his tracks as soon as he covered his nose from the stench.

Only after the surrounding vassals quickly took out handkerchiefs and covered the lord's nose did the lord slowly approach what was once the Arachne Queen's head.

When the lord gave a light gesture, one of the vassals squeezed his eyes shut and approached the lump of filth.

The vassal, who looked like he was about to vomit several times, took out something like a command baton and waved it.

Then, out of nowhere, a wind rose and began to break down the filth.

‘He was a magician?’

My goodness.

I had a certain romantic notion about magicians.

But for the first magician I ever met to be stirring filth with magic.

Ah.

Disappointment.

“It is as the mercenary said. Some parts of the exoskeleton, which appear to be from the Arachne Queen, were mixed with the internal organs.”

The magician reported as he returned before the lord, his face holding back nausea.

“Ooh. Your magic is marvelous no matter how many times I see it.”

“Indeed. It was excellent skill.”

The other vassals praised the magician as if to console him.

‘Is it that big of a deal?’

It was certainly a delicate task.

To have found the few solid pieces from a lump of paste.

Even if it was far from making things go boom in a flashy way, he might be quite a capable person.

So, were magicians in this world specialized professionals like that?

He had also been safely loitering next to the lord while the knights were fighting at the forefront.

‘No, that can't be. Then there's no way he'd remain a mere vassal, right?’

Surely the magicians of this world would also know about romance.

A fireball that blows away a monster's head with one brutally large blast.

A blizzard that freezes everything around it.

And, if we're talking about the flower of magic, it has to be a beam.

A beautiful beam that vaporizes enemies in a straight line.

Such magic must surely exist.

Yes.

I decided to believe so.

While I was entertaining my thoughts on magic, the lord sighed as he looked at the shapeless head of the Arachne Queen.

“What a shame. The corpse of a strong monster is not easy to come by. Can you determine the cause?”

“I cannot be certain, but I can make an assumption. It may be the effect of the Arachne Queen's own digestive fluids or venom.”

I nodded at the vassal's answer.

Both were plausible stories.

Even the human stomach is highly acidic, so if there's a problem with the mucus on the stomach wall, it can melt and a hole can form.

I suppose I should assume that the crystal had been preventing the reaction until now, and when the crystal was removed, all hell broke loose.

Of course, even so, the reaction was too fast.

A substance that could gently melt the body of a powerful monster would surely leave not even the bones of a human body in an instant.

“Tsk. So you're saying it could be dangerous. Burn it for now. If it doesn't burn, move it far away and bury it.”

The lord, having had the same thought as me, instructed the surrounding soldiers.

And with that, the situation was concluded.

‘I wonder what happened to the body.’

If digestive fluids or venom were the problem, the body left near the ranch must be a melting mess by now.

“Hmm. You.”

Just as I was about to slip away, the lord called out to me.

“Y-yes!”

I approached the lord hesitantly, like a dazed idiot.

“You went through a lot of trouble to rush over and deliver the news.”

The lord said as he tossed me a single silver coin.

Just one silver coin?

How stingy.

I swallowed my complaints about the lord's show of generosity.

He hadn't shown his temper in front of me yet, but just by looking at the vassals' attitudes, it was clear that getting on his bad side would be a hassle.

“Oh my. To think Your Lordship would be so considerate to a lowly mercenary riffraff like myself. Thank you. Thank you.”

When I forced myself to bow my head, the lord nodded as if satisfied.

No one stopped me as I slowly backed away without raising my head.

“……What! How much are those mercenary bastards demanding?! Didn't the knights take care of the dangerous ones! How dare those bastards who didn't even fight properly-!!”

The lord's enraged voice followed soon after.

I was right.

* * *

“Whew-”

I left the castle and walked across the field, which was piled high with the corpses of Arachne.

It seemed like it would take quite a while to clean all of this up.

‘They're just pests. Pests.’

Monsters whose meat could be eaten were better.

If their leather or bones could be used, they were worth quite a bit of money, as they were harder than steel depending on the type.

But these spiders called Arachne were completely useless.

Their exoskeletons weren't hard enough to make armor, and their appearance was so disgusting that their preference as a food source was low.

And they rotted so quickly, the surrounding area was filled with a foul stench.

‘Since they're resistant to fire, they could probably be used for fireproof suits.’

Even if I forced myself to recall the characteristics of the Red Arachne, this was the limit.

And even then, it would be lucky if there was even a handful of demand in this world, which didn't even have professional firefighters.

There was no reward for all the trouble of dealing with them.

‘Come to think of it, this is probably normal.’

Generally, even livestock and agricultural products are the result of improving their marketability through selective breeding.

If what you got from passing beasts was more useful, why would you go through all that trouble?

Anyway, the Arachne were useless in every aspect.

Except for their unnecessarily good reproductive capabilities.

‘Why on earth did they prosper so much in that cave?’

According to Grainy and Pol, they had come out of a cave.

Tens of thousands of human-sized spiders, and more than ten superior individuals of over ten meters in size.

That number was enough to cover almost the entire field, as you could see.

I had heard that the Arachne had excellent reproductive capabilities.

But if the Arachne bred to this extent anywhere, they should have been recognized as a much more dangerous monster.

A monster that must be dealt with before a superior individual or a queen could emerge.

However, neither the lord nor even Grainy saw the Arachne as that threatening.

Judging by their reactions, which showed they didn't grasp the reality of the superior individuals or the queen, it was clear that this was a rare occurrence.

Something was fishy.

‘For now, figuring out the identity of this crystal takes priority.’

I took out the crystal I had put in my pocket.

For one, it was in the Arachne Queen's head, and it had the intelligence to hold a conversation.

This meant I could dig out information through conversation.

“…….”

The crystal was quiet, as if its chattering from a moment ago was a lie.

But I could still feel the pulse from within.

Did a problem occur after some time had passed since it was taken out of the head?

“Hey. Are you listening?”

I tried speaking to it casually, but there was no response.

Had it lost consciousness, could it not hear me, or perhaps-

“Hup.”

I shook the crystal with all my might.

I thought that if there was something inside the crystal, there would be a reaction.

[Aaaaaargh?! What are you doing?! Can't you stop?!]

There was a much stronger reaction than I had expected.

“You were alive? Then you should answer. I was about to get my feelings hurt.”

[I'm the one who's hurt- Ugh-]

The crystal groaned.

It was strange, as if it were suffering from motion sickness.

“How are you feeling sensations?”

No matter how I looked at it, it didn't seem to have any sensory organs.

It probably didn't have a brain either.

To confirm, I shook it again.

[You bastard-! I will have my revenge! Someday, I will definitely……!]

How strange.

I couldn't even begin to guess what its internal structure was like.

“What are you?”

[You're quick to ask.]

“I'm a bit fast.”

[That's sarcasm!]

“I know.”

I confirmed that a proper conversation was possible.

To even be sarcastic. I had a rough idea when it started talking, but it seemed to possess an intelligence no different from a human's.

“So, I asked what you are.”

[If you're talking about me, I was scheduled to become the strongest monster in history, feared by dragons and astounded by demons.]

“If you were scheduled to become, that means you didn't, right? So you're nothing right now?”

[Kyaaaaaak!!]

A high-pitched sound came from the crystal.

It was similar to the sound a cat makes when it's annoyed.

[I! Am the Queen of the Arachne! You lowly human bastard, prostrate yourself and worship me!]

So this crystal is the main body of the Arachne Queen.

This was within my expectations.

That aside-

“For an Arachne, you don't have a single leg.”

[Grrrrrrrk!!]

This one was fun to tease.

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