I didn't stick around through all the congratulations after that for very long. I couldn't disappear immediately, of course. That would've raised more than a few questions. I had to stay and pretend everything was fine while various people insisted on shaking my hand and patting me on the back. But hey, at least I had a fair amount of experience with that sort of thing. The pretending everything was fine part, that was. After spending the past few months acting like my parents weren't the leaders of one of the biggest and most powerful criminal organizations in the country, this wasn't nearly as difficult as it could've been. Hell, I even had my face totally hidden for this. That was practically easy mode for hiding my emotional damage.
So, I acted as normal as possible, thanked people for their congratulations while promising to keep it up and show them even more about what I could do a bit later, and then excused myself the second I thought I could get away with it. I felt like there were a few people staring at me from the sidelines, including my parents, who had come down out of the box to stand with other VIPs on the edge of the field. But it was probably just my paranoia. They had no reason to think anything was wrong, did they? No reason to stare at me with expressions that made it seem like they were just waiting for the arena to fall in on itself or something. I was just reading too much into all that. Or wishing they knew what was going on so they'd deal with it themselves. As dumb as it was to wish my parents could solve my problems.
At least I didn't have to talk much. This wasn't really some full-scale celebration or anything just yet. After all, that had only been one game on the first day. There was still plenty more to go. And fuck Casura for taking every single ounce of joy and anticipation I'd had for the games and setting fire to all of it. There were plenty of other reasons to hate her, but that was another one.
In any case, fortunately all of that only took a few minutes before they had to move on to the next games. I had another one to participate in later, but it wouldn't be until much later in the evening. Which meant I was completely free and clear to get the hell out of here and try to think of some way to actually stop one of the most dangerous Fell-Touched in existence all by myself.
So, now that I thought about it, maybe 'free and clear' wasn't exactly the best choice of words.
As soon as it was possible to do so without setting off everyone's panic alarms, I left the field and practically raced back through the tunnel to the ready room. This time, that automated instant shower thing was even more convenient, because I really doubted I would've been able to let myself take the time to go through a regular one. I had to get out of here and just-- think. There had to be a way to deal with this, a way to stop Casura and save Paige and the others.
Tumbleweed, Split, and Liqueguy were all basically right behind me. I forced myself to sound as casual and easy-going as possible as we reached the ready room. "Hey guys, I'm really sorry I went so hard back there. I guess I was trying to make a good impression for the last round of my first game and I uhh, I might've gone a little overboard." Somehow, I managed to get through all that without screaming, cursing, or letting any of my real feelings show. Even if my heart was in the middle of trying to beat its way out of my chest in terror that every single word I said might end up being interpreted as saying too much by that power Casura was monitoring me with.
"Are you kidding?" Liqueguy demanded, even as I felt a bit of his liquid seep under my feet and turn solid so he could turn me around so I could see his intense grin. "That was amazing! You set a record, dude, and wiped the field with all three of us. If anything, we should tell you off for holding back for so long. You could've won all three of those rounds if you kept trying that hard!"
The other two immediately agreed, all of them making it clear that they weren't holding any sort of grudge or anything. So yeah, at least I didn't end up needing to worry about these three being upset. In fact, they spent what felt like entirely too long insisting on going over the whole match from start to finish, detailing what they were thinking the entire time, what they tried to do to stop me, how they tried to take advantage once it was obvious I wasn't going to get back up after I'd collapsed through that last minute, and so on. They teased me, teased each other, all while the television in the corner showed the next game (a strength test) getting underway.
And through all of it, what was actually maybe four minutes but felt like forty, it was all I could do just to avoid completely falling apart. I laughed, teased them back like everything was fine, I even promised to run through some exercises with them later if there was a good time for it. Yeah, just as soon as I got done stopping Casura's evil plan, I'd definitely get right on that.
At least I got through all that without giving everything away. But if it was this hard for me to keep myself together just through spending a few minutes with people congratulating me on one performance, how the hell was I going to handle acting like it was all fine when the actual award ceremony happened on Saturday, assuming it went that far? How could I just keep on smiling at all these people while ignoring the voice screaming in my head about how much I needed to warn them? Could I really just stand there pretending I didn't know anything while one of the most evil Fells in the world took control of every Touched who won a ring in these games?
Whatever I did, however I tried to stop this thing from happening, I had to be careful. So fucking careful. I couldn't risk Paige's life, or Sierra and the others. I couldn't risk giving that bitch any reason to follow through with her threat. Because she wouldn't hesitate. Especially if it was just to punish me for pushing my luck by killing one of them as an example while keeping the rest hostage. Or for fun. I really didn't want to give her any reason to kill one of them for fun either.
Really, about the only thing I had going for me here was the fact that she hadn't told me not to try to stop her. The opposite, in fact. She wanted me to do everything I could to put an end to this whole plan. Everything, that was, except get help. Whatever I did, it had to be just me. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone else what she was up to, that the others were being held hostage, or even that she was here. I couldn't say anything about any of it. Which wasn't so much working with one hand tied behind my back as it was working without any limbs at all.
But okay, whatever, I could do this. I would do this. I didn't have a choice. For Paige, for Sierra, for Irelyn, even for Echo, whom I didn't know at all but had to be good if she was friendly with the others (and absolutely didn't deserve anything Casura would do no matter what she was like personally), I would make this work. For all the Touched that bitch would take control of, I would make it work. For all the many people she would absolutely kill and the lives she would ruin if she managed to get that sort of power, I would make this work. I would find a way to stop her.
I just had absolutely no idea how to do so.
First things first, I took a quick trip to the restroom where I'd hidden the ring and that other phone. Neither had been disturbed, but I still wasn't going to take them. The ring would set off like every alarm in the state if I left the building with it, and I didn't trust that phone any further than I could throw the arena itself. Instead, I set up a call forwarding app to make sure I could access that phone with the one I actually used for Paintball stuff, then sealed it up again.
With that done, I had to get out of this arena for a while. I had to go get some fresh air. Maybe I could take a run to clear my head. That tended to help when I felt totally overwhelmed like this. I just needed a few minutes of flat out parkouring to shake up my brain so I could actually focus.
Unfortunately, in the midst of all of that, with everything that just kept running through my mind and the utter terror that continued bubbling up inside me despite every absolutely valiant attempt I made at pushing it back down, I forgot something kind of important. Rather, I forgot someones.
"Cass!" Yeah, it was Izzy. After I went out through the secret tunnel and changed out of my costume back to my street clothes in the bushes, I had just emerged from the trees when she came running up, with Dani right beside her. Sure, I'd told her where to meet me back before this whole fiasco had started, before I found out just how fucked up everything was. But I'd forgotten that fact with all the distractions. I'd forgotten basically everything else except the distraction. So when she called out to me like that, I thought my heart was about to explode. I literally jumped, twisting with a gasp before taking in who was talking. That whole actually keeping myself together thing was definitely getting a run for its money, to say the least.
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"Oh, hey, guys," I managed, while inwardly shoving my heart back down where it belonged.
"Hey, guys?" That was Dani, frowning at me as they both came to a stop. "That's all you have to say?" She waved a hand in the direction of the arena. "The hell was all that about back there?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck, what was I supposed to say? How could I tell these guys there wasn't anything wrong when there absolutely was? How could I lie to them, especially to Izzy? Fuck, how could I look Izzy in the eyes and not tell her the truth? If something went wrong, if Paige-- if any of them didn't come back from this, I… that was how I could lie, because I had to. When this was all over, when the others came back safe, Izzy would forgive me for lying, because I didn't have a choice. So would Dani. They'd understand. We just had to get to that point somehow. But until then, I couldn't tell them anything. Nothing important anyway.
Or maybe I didn't have to lie at all. Maybe it was stupid to think that just because I couldn't tell them the truth that I had to lie.
While that played through my mind, Izzy was already grabbing my hand and pulling me further away from the building the tunnel exit into so we could have better privacy just in case anyone else came through that way. Soon the three of us were out in the middle of a wooded area, with absolutely no one else around. Finally, she looked at me intently. "Cassie?"
I took a breath and let it out. No lying. I could do this without lying and without endangering the others. I just had to be direct about it. As direct as Casura's rules would allow me to be, anyway.
"I can't tell you what's going on. I can't talk about it. It's a secret, the kind of secret that I can't violate. I made a deal with someone and part of that deal is not talking about what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I'll explain it when I can. But right now, I just need you both to trust me. I'm going to deal with it."
Somehow, I managed to get through that without letting my voice crack too much. Which was almost a miracle considering how much I desperately wanted to fall down, clutch my stomach, and maybe throw up a little bit.
Unfortunately, it was obvious that I hadn't exactly convinced the other two that everything was fine and under control. If anything, they looked even more uncertain than they had before. I saw them exchange silent glances before Dani started, "Ah, I guess we can go with that." She was already holding up her phone, showing me the screen, which read, 'Is someone listening to you?'
Fuck, I didn't know if confirming that would tip the scales into violating the rules or not. Better to be safe than sorry. I just offered a shrug. It was the best I could do right then. Aloud, I said, "I have to handle this myself. When I can tell you what's going on, I will. Please, just let me do this."
The two of them continued to stare at me for a few long seconds, the silence dragging on. Then Izzy stepped over. She didn't try to make me say anything else, didn't try to make me do any of the things I couldn't do. She didn't even say anything. Not right then, anyway. Instead, she just came right up, put her arms around me, and squeezed tightly. She didn't need to actually say a single word. That was enough. She told me everything I needed to hear in that single embrace.
My breath caught a bit, before I returned it. God, I wanted to say so much. I wanted to-- never mind. Don't think about it, Cassidy. It's just going to make this whole thing even more difficult than it already is. And that's a high bar to reach. Instead, I just returned the hug and closed my eyes briefly, letting the feeling wash over me. I'd desperately needed this. But I also couldn't let myself relax too much into it for too long. Paige, Sierra, Irelyn, and Echo were still in trouble, still trapped with that monster. I had to get my butt in gear and actually do something about all that.
Dani didn't quite hug me, though she did take my hand after Izzy released me and gave it a squeeze. Her eyes stared right through mine as she spoke firmly. "You need help, you ask for it, okay? Anything at all. Whenever, wherever, whatever." With that, she continued to keep that tight grip on my hand, squeezing until I promised that I would definitely tell her when I needed something. Which was technically a promise I was breaking right then when you got right down to it, since I definitely needed help already. But all three of us knew what I was really saying.
Turning away from the two of them and going off on my own was one of the most difficult things I'd ever done. Especially when I thought about how completely overwhelmed I felt in the face of what Casura was capable of and who she was holding hostage. But I made myself do it anyway. I had to. Somehow, I was going to find a way to stop Casura. I was going to make sure she didn't enslave all those Touched and save Paige and the others. I was going to do all of that.
Which was a totally noble and fantastic goal to have. Now I just had to figure out how to do that.
One way the other two had managed to help, as they had informed me while I was starting to head out, was by telling my parents that we were all going out together. That meant I didn't have to go back over to the arena to check in, which was the only reason I'd changed to my normal clothes to begin with. Still, I didn't switch back to my costume just yet. Instead, I walked out of the park, found my way to one of the tourist buses that meandered their way through the city, and took a seat in the back. I settled in like that, took a pair of earbuds from my pocket to blast music so I wouldn't actually have to listen to the tour guide going on and on about Phoenix, and stared out the window while just letting my mind sort of drift its way through the whole problem.
I sat there for over an hour like that, while the bus passed through all these fancy neighborhoods and tourist traps. Sure, the tour was probably fine, but I wasn't here for it. This was just a sort of convenient way for me to sit and do nothing but think. It was a bit different than my usual way of dealing with being overwhelmed by just sprinting through the city rooftops. This time, I needed my brain to be on but still not distracted by other things. I just needed an idea. Please, one idea.
It wasn't until the bus stopped in front of some tall, fancy-looking statue of a guy who had founded the city or something that I sat up, frowning thoughtfully. Hold on. I couldn't get help from any of my friends. But maybe I could get help from someone who wasn't a friend in any way. Or at the very least, I could try to get some answers and go from there. Immediately, I hit the cord thing to request a stop, right after the bus had just started to move again. I was already on my feet, heading to the front while a few people groaned in annoyance about the interruption. I didn't bother to apologize, or say anything. Instead, I just plunged through the door into the street beyond the second it opened, and started running as soon as my feet hit the pavement.
It took me a few minutes to find a private place to change into my costume, since I really didn't know this area. And after that I had to use my phone to figure out exactly where I was and where I needed to go. That second part took a few minutes of looking through social media. But eventually, I had the place.
And now I just had to do one more thing, a bit that might just put the wind out of my sails completely. Feeling anxious and more than a little weird about all this, I used that call forwarding app connected to the other phone to call back the same number Casura had used to talk to me before.
She answered after about six rings, her voice cheerful. "Hey buddy! Guess where I am right now."
My eyes closed. So many terrible thoughts ran through my mind, I couldn't pick just one to be terrified of. "Are you going to say 'right behind me?'" was what I finally settled on.
A melodic laugh came then. "Naaaah I'd have a better way of announcing that. No, I'm beating my high score in Dance Dance Revolution. Well, technically I'm beating the guy who beat my high score." There was a pause before a muffled thump and a cry of pain. "But that's basically the same thing, right?"
My hand tightened into a fist, as I fought to control the bile in my throat and made myself push on. "I have a question about your rules."
She was silent, which I took as permission to continue. So I asked for one bit of clarification about what I was and wasn't allowed to do. It was met with another moment of curious humming, then a new cry of pain, before the woman answered. "Okay, yeah, that seems to be within the basic rules. I'll allow it. But don't try to take advantage of my good mood too much, Paintball. I'd hate to have to roll the die on which one of your friends gets to… uh, die just to teach you a lesson."
"Don't worry, I get the point," I quickly assured her. "That's why I wanted to call you first."
"Good boy!" I heard the giggle in her voice. "Now run along. I'll see you soon, especially if this plan of yours works out. Fingers crossed!"
She hung up then, and I exhaled. "You know what," I muttered to myself while already starting to move. "I already knew my entire superhero career was weird.
"But asking the villain for permission to try to thwart their evil schemes might be a new low."
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