Aegon could say nothing on the matter. His opinion was extremely biased, as he cared about his loved ones more than anyone else. But then, the question arose in his heart.

Could he really let fifty million people die just to save one important life to him?

He didn't know.

Neither did Arthur.

Liliana seemed to see through his thoughts and smiled.

"He didn't know what was going to happen. To him, it was between choosing the duty of a husband and the duty of a soldier. I needed him, but so did those fifty million people. And it wasn't like I was dying, right?"

"Why do I feel like you're just convincing yourself?" Aegon asked.

"I've been doing that for years, despite knowing the truth of the Augustus," Liliana sighed. "I married into a family where people didn't think twice before sacrificing themselves for the Empire and humanity, so why should I expect them to put me before the Empire?"

She inhaled deeply and her voice returned to normal.

"I was devastated seeing him leave. He was the first to ever see me for who I was and appreciate my efforts. We didn't have love between us, but we definitely valued each other a lot. Or perhaps only I thought of that. Seeing him leave felt like my whole world was crumbling away."

Aegon's gaze softened, but he spoke nothing. There was no need to, as he couldn't even understand just what she was going through back then.

"Perhaps he was right too. I was safe in our mansion, with so much security that even Imperial Guards might have trouble getting in. And the best apothecarists and doctors were arranged for me. They were there the whole time, so they handled it immediately."

She turned towards him and said.

"I never feared pain, but that day I experienced it and felt it leaving scars on my soul. I watched as they cut my womb to take you out. I watched it all alone, with nobody at my side."

Aegon stood up and went to sit beside her. He could sense she was getting agitated, which made him feel guilty as he said, "You can stop here. You don't need to hurt yourself for me."

"Oh, I do! I deserve it!" She laughed dryly. "You suffered more, Aegon. All because I felt hurt for something I already knew. Do you know what I did back then? Do you know what went through my mind when I saw you for the first time?"

She clenched her hands, her whole body trembling as all the emotions she had been suppressing for years came undone.

"I hated you. I hated everything around me. I hated that you took away my pillar of support. It's ridiculous. I blamed you for everything and asked the nurses to keep you in a different room so that I didn't have to see your face. I didn't even hold you once. Not even once."

Warm tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried like never before.

"As your mother, I watched you cry as you were being taken away. I felt joy in that. I failed as a mother that day."

Her voice turned into a shout at the end as she cried even harder. Aegon could do nothing but watch as she vented out everything. He patted her back and thought of something to say to her.

"Have you ever studied human anatomy deeply?"

He didn't get any answer.

"Giving birth is one of the toughest tasks humans can experience. It messes up your whole body and mind. Emotions and hormones are unstable and amplified. I'm sure you understand that more than me."

He continued patting her on the back, which seemed to work as she slowly calmed down.

"I don't know whether what you did was right or wrong. I can't bring myself to comment on that. But I know you did it because of your state. In that mess, you were all alone, which worsened your condition."

He actually felt pity for her and hoped nobody had to go through what she went through. Just thinking about it made his chest heavy and he couldn't even understand it properly.

Especially since this one act of hers destroyed everything, so she blamed herself and suffered in self-guilt for years.

Perhaps it wasn't right to leave your children like that. But what could one even predict in that mess?

"If it makes you feel better, then no one blamed you. I usually didn't bring up the topic, but Opa and Xiu made sure I knew it wasn't your fault. And I think the same. So please don't blame yourself for it."

Liliana, who was finally calming down, cried even harder upon hearing him. Aegon couldn't do anything to help her as she vented out everything, so he just accompanied her silently.

He had many questions, but he didn't wish to ask anymore. Seeing her so hurt and in pain made him want to punch himself for even thinking of asking this from her.

She was the worst person to ask about it, as she went through so much to bring him into this world, only to feel self-guilt for years over one messed-up decision.

For the next few minutes, the tent was filled with nothing but her sobbing as she cried rivers on his shoulders.

...

Liliana cleaned her red eyes with her handkerchief and said in a hoarse voice, "I'm sorry."

Shaking his head, Aegon handed her a glass of water and said, "It's fine. Please take some rest. I've asked everything I needed to, so there really is no need."

She finished the glass of water and said, "No, you need to know everything. I just told you half of it. Just my side of the story. There is more."

"I know. But I don't want you to hurt yourself from it," Aegon said, taking her hand in his. "I misjudged everything, so I'm really sorry."

"No, I needed this. In fact, I'm thankful you heard this from me so I could let everything out," she tried to smile, but it seemed so strained. "Besides, I wasn't the only one who suffered back then. Aren't you curious where your Grandma was during all of this?"

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