"I got the Sky seals!" The star-child runner held up two caskets wrapped in silk that shifted colors like a sunrise. She skittered across the room and presented them to Aurelia, who accepted them with a fond smile.

"Thank you, Sparkle. Did you run into any issues?"

"Nope! I fit through the grate, just like I said would!"

Do you, by chance, mean the grate through which messages and documents are passed? I knew Flicker had one, but I'd assumed that gods and goddesses would prefer to have a runner come into their offices to make a proper genuflection. Maybe their egos weren't as overblown as I'd assumed.

Or maybe their egos were so hopelessly inflated that they didn't want to share the same space as star sprites.

Probably the latter, I decided, right as the star-child – Sparkle, Aurelia had called her – dimpled at me. "Yep! Everybody thinks it's too small for anybody to fit through, so nobody locks it. That's how we – oops." Suddenly noticing the deep furrows that had appeared between the brows of every star sprite present, she clapped a hand over her mouth.

Noticing the same thing, Aurelia raised both eyebrows. "Is that so?"

Never thought of securing your grate, did you? I teased.

All the clerks were glowering at Sparkle, who'd apparently either transgressed against their code of conduct – or let slip one of their most sacred secrets. Under the pressure of their glares, the star-child literally deflated, starlight puffing out of her skin to hover around her in a glowing aura.

"Childish hijinks aside," stressed Glitter, "Accountant White Night, did you fulfill your part?"

The white-robed Accountant stepped forward, drawing attention away from Sparkle, who slowly re-absorbed her starlight. "Yes." He took a pair of jade seals out of his sleeve and held them up for all to see. "These are the seals of the Director and Assistant Director of Wealth."

Please tie them around my neck. I spoke quickly, in case Aurelia claimed these in addition to the ones from the Bureau of the Sky. As White Night unfastened the string from around my neck and strung the seals onto it, I asked, How did you get into the offices? Surely you didn't crawl through a grate?

He recoiled. "Certainly not. I am an Accountant. I simply invoked my power to audit."

"Ooooh." A long breath escaped Aurelia, who'd apparently never considered the implications of the power to audit someone.

Ooooh, I echoed, and supplemented it with an admiring sigh. An audit. That is what we're doing, isn't it? A long-overdue audit of all the Bureaux in Heaven to uncover long-standing malfeasance.

"Great," said Floridiana from under my paws as White Night retied the string around my neck. "We have the seals from three Bureaux. Let's split up the remaining ones to speed things up. What are they?"

"There are still the Bureau of Human Lives," Aurelia replied with a hitch in her voice, "the Ministry of Weather, the Ministry of Agriculture, the Ministry of Medicine, the Bureau of Academia, and the Ministry of Fate."

"Why are some called 'Bureau' and some called 'Ministry' – no, never mind." Floridiana wrenched her attention away from The Mage's Guide to Heaven that she was surely compiling in her head. "We should decide who's taking what so we don't overlap."

"I shall be in my office," announced Glitter, making the singular pronoun sound like a royal "We." "Bring the seals there as you retrieve them."

"I'm going to the Bureau of Human Lives." To no one's surprise, Aurelia claimed it before anyone else.

Are you sure that's a good idea? Flicker and Cassius would be there, and she lacked objectivity where both were concerned.

She turned her head and looked at me. Centuries of grief and despair and regret and anger whumped into me. Once already, she'd failed to save her Empire, her family, her friends and allies. She wasn't going to sit by and wait for someone else to save her lover this time.

Okay, I agreed. The Star of Reflected Brightness is going to the Bureau of Human Lives. Who's taking Weather?

A clerk straightened from his bow. "I am Private Secretary to the Dragon Commander. I can get the Weather seals."

Excellent.

How about Agriculture?

An Accountant raised her hand. "I keep the records there. I can get the seals."

Wow, how had I never known how lax Heaven's security was? It presented an impregnable facade, but behind the walls and guards and martial gods lay a structure even more rickety than Honeysuckle Croft's chicken coop!

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Aurelia's golden glow shaded towards green as she processed the revelation that the gods maintained control only under the sufferance of their employees. The star sprites could have taken over any time they pleased.

If they had the right leader, of course. Which they did now. I lifted my nose proudly.

Who will take Academia?

Floridiana's shoulder tensed, and I could tell she was valiantly suppressing the urge to jump up and down, waving and shouting, "Me! Me! I'll go to the Bureau of Academia! Let me go to the Bureau of Academia!"

Do you even know where it is? I wondered. But since she didn't say anything, I didn't either.

The shadows next to a bookshelf sprouted many arms and legs, and then several imps were creeping forward, darting suspicious glances at White Night. Everyone really did fear the Accountants – perhaps especially the people who transported the goods that aforementioned Accountants tallied up.

The imp in the center opened her fist to reveal two bronze seals. "I'm the janitor," she growled, as if that explained everything.

And it did. There were only two ways to make sure your office stayed pristine: clean it yourself, or grant access to your janitors. Guess which one the gods chose?

I stuck out my neck, intending to have her add these seals so I could give them to Floridiana later, but the imp shuffled up to Aurelia. "I met Clerk Flicker. Let him into the archives. He was looking for a cure for the Black Death. Nice guy. Doesn't deserve this."

When Aurelia, too stricken to move, didn't take the seals, the imp shook them like a pair of dice. At the clinking, Aurelia snapped out of her paralysis and strung them onto her necklace of seals.

"Thank you very much." She untied a jade pendant that hung from her waist and presented it to the imp. "Thank you for helping him then, and us now."

The imp hefted the pendant in her hand, as if weighing it to assess its resale value. Then she growled, "We'll get the seals from Medicine. We polish them."

Right, because bronze didn't stay shiny on its own. Truly, Heaven had no security to speak of.

The imps shuffled back towards the shadows, but Floridiana cried after them, "Wait! Thank you from me too! Flicker was looking for a cure for me. Thank you for helping him."

"Didn't work. He didn't find one. There's no cure."

"But thank you anyway."

The janitor grunted and melted back into the shadows, disappearing in plain sight.

Aurelia was shaking her head with a rueful smile. "Flicker and I never had a chance of keeping our relationship secret, did we?"

Nope, I told her, even though I, too, had been caught off guard by the extent to which eyes and ears were everywhere in Heaven. Never assume you have any secrets from your staff.

"So I've learned. So I've learned."

"There's one more Bureau we need to go after. The Ministry of Fate," Floridiana reminded us.

I expected someone to volunteer, as they had for every other Bureau, but there was no reaction. Who would like to get the seals from Fate?

Everyone stared glassily past me, avoiding my eyes.

"No one?" Floridiana asked incredulously. "Is the Ministry of Fate that much better guarded than all the others?"

The star sprites shifted their feet, while the imps held perfectly still and blended with the shadows. At last, one clerk mumbled, "Lady Fate knows everything."

Another added, "She'll know when we're coming."

A third put in, "She'll know how we're coming."

"She'll be ready."

"You can't fool her."

"You can't lie to her."

"She can change your Fate."

Does she actually control Fate, or does she just read it? Somebody please tell me, because I still don't know.

And if anyone did, it was surely this group of omnipresent, invisible star sprites and imps. But all I got were shrugs.

"She always knows everything."

"She can make it so you never get where you're trying to go."

"Nobody crosses Lady Fate."

Glitter interrupted impatiently. "Is this relevant?"

Yes! Because you're all too scared of her! She's one goddess! Just like the rest! There has to be a way to circumvent her! Stop being so scared of her and think!

A lot of mulish expressions greeted that command. The star sprites and imps had obviously made up their minds that it was impossible to break into the Ministry of Fate, and they weren't even going to entertain any other possibility.

Aurelia touched the seals at her chest. "I think it's clear that no one in Heaven knows how to counter Lady Fate. Perhaps we need someone who's not of Heaven to think outside the box."

Yes, maybe we do! Come on, Floridiana! Let's show them how it's done! I snapped – before I realized that I didn't know the way to the Ministry of Fate. I'd only been there once, and I'd been hiding inside Flicker's robe that one time. Now who's going to guide us there?

So far we'd been extraordinarily lucky in that none of the gods had noticed the revolution right under their upturned noses. It was, I supposed, too much to hope that it would last all the way until we toppled Heaven and rescued Flicker. And so it was that our luck ran out in front of the Bureau of Reincarnation. A palanquin, carried by imps who were apparently still on duty, happened to sway down the street right as we exited. From behind its silk hangings came raucous, drunken singing.

"That's the God of Wealth!" gasped Aurelia. "He can't see me!"

"This way, this way." The imps swept her around the nearest pavilion.

At the same time, the Accountants formed a wall in front of Floridiana and me, blocking us from view. Holding me in her lap, Floridiana crouched behind their legs as they bowed to the palanquin. For a moment, it seemed that the God of Wealth would pass without acknowledging the star sprites. But alas, their white robes, tinted pink by the Moon's bloody light, were too conspicuous.

"Stop!" bawled the God of Wealth.

His palanquin lurched to a halt. One hand, sparkling with at least two rings on every finger, including the thumb, pawed at the silk hangings. The fringe snagged on a ruby. Cursing, he ripped off the entire piece of silk and hurled it at the closest palanquin-bearer.

"Oy! Ac-Acc-countantsh! Why aren't you – hic – working? We're under a-a-attack!"

White Night bowed even lower. "With all due respect, sir, we are Accountants, not guards."

"Sh-sh-shir?! What do you mean, a-a-ad-dreshing me as 'shir'! I am – hic – the Director of the Bureau of Wealth! I am your Director!"

At that, White Night straightened. "Not anymore, sir."

Taking my cue, I whispered into Floridiana's ear, Stand up.

I needn't have prompted the former traveling dancer. She was already rising behind the line of bowing Accountants like a goddess ascending into the sky. I lifted my chin so the seals dangling at my throat gleamed.

I am the Director of the Bureau of Wealth. You, on the other hand, are an imposter who dares arrogate to himself the authority of a Director.

At the sight of his seal around my neck, the God of Wealth's eyes bulged out. "Thief! Guardsh! The invadersh are here! They're right here! Guardsh!"

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