The following days were not something that Kelima was likely to ever describe as fun, because Terry wouldn't describe them as fun. He pushed them much harder on their way out than he had on the way in. Some of it was pure eagerness to be done with the forest and its never-ending parade of vicious monsters. Most of it, though, was that feeling of time growing ever shorter. The storage ring proved its worth in helping that cause along. Before, they'd been forced by necessity not to stray too far from the river. With the ring, they could store as much water as they needed. However, they did lose an entire day to fashioning temporary storage out of logs, which they just cut into lengths and hollowed out. Terry wanted to make sure they had enough to drink and cook food. Kelima was determined that they'd carry enough to occasionally bathe and even wash their clothes. One look at the girl's eyes had told him that was one battle he wasn't winning.

Terry had no illusions that this log-hollowing method would be useful in other circumstances. For one, all kinds of things would seep into the water from the wood if they were just carrying the logs around. He doubted it would be lethal, or probably even make him sick, but it might make Kelima sick. These makeshift containers also didn't have real lids. However, none of that mattered when he could store the hollowed logs as soon as they were filled with water. He didn't know for sure that the water would stay good forever, but he was pretty confident that it wouldn't go bad or soak up contaminants in the next week. The way storage treasures always worked was that they kept things stored in the same condition. At least, they stayed in the same condition for a while.

A minor but delightful benefit of the storage ring was that containers stored in it didn't tip over or leak. That freed them from coming up with some half-ass method for fitting a cap or lid onto the logs. Storing meat from the edible monsters they slew was suddenly possible, which simplified their nightly meal routine. Not that the meat made any tastier than it had been before, but they could favor the kinds of meat that were more tolerable. It was a small but meaningful boost to their overall quality of life. Not that everything went without a hitch. Terry had underestimated the power of invoking a trope. It felt to him like they were fighting goblins all the damn time. He'd been forced to almost immediately abandon his plan to make Kelima fight them all. The worst part was that most of the goblins didn't even have cores. So, the whole thing stank in more ways than one.

By the time they got back to the demon's strange village, even Terry didn't have any jokes to make about goblins or smells. Even the thought of the vile creatures was enough to make him shudder. He made a vow to all that was holy that he would go out and buy as much soap as he could find at the first opportunity. They'd been scrubbing down so often that he and Kelima had burned through every bit of the stuff that both of them were carrying. He never, ever, ever wanted to be without a nigh-unlimited supply of the blessed substance again. As they entered the village, it was more of a shellshocked stagger than a proud walk. He knew that much. The demons took one look at the pair and, in the manner of excellent hosts, prepared hot baths and hot meals.

Even after an hour of alternating between soaking and scrubbing, Terry couldn't shake the feeling that the vile goblin stench had somehow infected his skin. I may never feel clean again, he mentally moaned.

I hoped you learned your lesson from that, said other-Terry in a holier-than-thou tone.

What lesson? asked Terry.

That tropes are not to be invoked willy-nilly for your entertainment. As I think has been made clear over the last few days, the universe will punish you for that.

You say that like I never put these tropes to use before. It didn't blow up in my face then.

You have, but it was always for things like avoiding a bad situation or saving your life. Practical, even prudent use of the tools available to you. Not cheap amusement.

This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

Did you know it would go down like that? Terry asked, suddenly suspicious that the magical construct had blithely let him do something stupid and painful.

Know is such a strong word. It would be more accurate to say that I suspected.

And just how strong was that suspicion?

I had about a ninety-five percent certainty, but I didn't actually know until I saw it happen.

And you wanted to watch me suffer the consequences of being mean to Kelima? asked Terry.

I'm not going to pretend that I'm on Team Kelima. She can be as aggravating as you at times. But that goblin thing really was just a dick move. You got what you had coming. So, be a big boy. Take your medicine and learn from this mistake. As wrist slapping goes, this was pretty mild.

Mild? I think we killed a few hundred of the damn things between us.

You killed a few hundred goblins, which are nothing for you to kill, and not that hard for Kelima anymore. In other words, something well within your capacities. It was just vile. If the universe was looking to hand out a severe punishment, you'd have gotten hobgoblins and goblin kings in those numbers.

I guess I see your point, but didn't this punish Kelima as much as me?

Other-Terry laughed as he said, Oh, definitely not. She's clever. Once you joined the fights, she made sure that you ended up killing most of them. She didn't escape completely unscathed, but she got her revenge all the same.

I knew she was half-assing it!

Do you really feel like you've got room to complain about that? I mean, seeing as how you were the one who made them appear and all. It's not like she left you to die.

I know. I just— Terry trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence without looking like a complete ass.

Yeah, you should just let that one go. Also, you're as clean as you're going to get. Go have some hot food.

Muttering under his breath, Terry got out of the tub and dried himself off. He frowned down at his stomach and even poked at the visible abs. Or, maybe more visible abs would have been the better way to put it. It had been a while since he really paid any attention to his body, but he didn't remember being quite this cut before. Was it a side effect of using the source stones, absorbing cores, eating monster meat, or just a general byproduct of increasing his magical and physical strength? Before he could even ask the question, other-Terry answered.

I don't know. More importantly, I don't care about your abs.

Terry couldn't even muster any indignation over that. He wasn't really sure that he cared, aside from the fact that he didn't understand the change. After a few more pokes that revealed absolutely nothing of value, Terry put it out of his mind. It wasn't like this world had suddenly developed romance novels that desperately needed guys to pose for the covers. Much as he might like to exploit his appearance for personal profit, there just wasn't a good method to do that in this new world. Which, on balance, might not be an entirely terrible thing.

Besides, the stupidly pretty people would corner that market in nine seconds flat. The less he had to do with them, the happier he was. That thought made him happy. Unfortunately, other-Terry's warning that they weren't done with him spoiled it. Not that it had come as a complete surprise. He'd almost been expecting it on some level. A hero running away from a perceived destiny, only to be forced into it by circumstance. That was practically fantasy novel 101. It wasn't quite a granddaddy trope like deus ex machina, but it was pretty damned close.

"But none of that is today's problem," he reassured himself, even as he could nearly hear his future self hurling profanities backwards to him through time.

Ignoring future Terry's ire, today's Terry went downstairs, where he found a very uncomfortable Kelima sitting at a table with the demons. There was a big pot of something that smelled really good sitting in the middle of the table.

"Terry," said Mrs. Demon with a bright smile. "Do you feel better?"

"I do," he said, sitting down. "That bath was very therapeutic."

"Good. Alright, now you can eat, girl," said Mrs. Demon with much less warmth in her voice.

Everyone ladled the thick vegetable stew into bowls and began eating without any additional ceremony. It was only when Terry had emptied his first bowl that he finally asked a question he'd forgotten to ask the last time he'd been in the fake village.

"So, just what are your names?"

Mrs. Demon glanced over at him and said, "Janey."

"Bill," said Mr. Demon.

"Oh," said Terry. "Not quite what I was expecting, but at least they're easy to remember."

Next chapter will be updated first on this website. Come back and continue reading tomorrow, everyone!

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.