After another dinner of monster stew that night, Jin eventually made her way to their greenhouse, finding a small corner to just sit and rest in silence for a bit. After they had chosen to make the greenhouse in the large room with the command console, it had mostly become Alim's domain as he transplanted the garden that they had brought from the first floor via Liraz's storage ability and also attempted to grow each type of the Divine Tower seeds they had stumbled across.

The walls were now an emerald green glass that must have been enchanted because it would appear as if the sun was brightly shining through the tinted ceiling during the day. However, as it became darker out in the marsh, the light in here had dimmed to let the plants sleep as well.

It had been weeks of living in the swamp now, weeks of trudging through the bog to slaughter goblins, weeks since Jin had said goodbye to Basima.

She had been slowly feeling better during that time… Well, maybe not better exactly, but at least more functional. There were good days, when she felt more present and like they were making progress, which the quantifiable displays of the tree's tribute points or her own abilities helped support that truth. The thought prompted her to check her stats again, using the trick Alim taught her of thinking about her whole self while pressing the Display rune on her bracelet.

Name: Jin

Species: Wayfarer (Human)

Caste: Crystal 1

Attributes

Strength (Spear): Crystal 2

Agility (Agile): Crystal 2

Fortitude (Dragon): Crystal 1

Mind (Void): Crystal 2

Magic (Abyssal Dragoon): Crystal 1

Natural Talents

Aetheric Transmigrator

Nihilist

Poker Face

Solo Player

Treasure Hoard

Titles

Servant

Tower Champion

Slayer

Boss Killer

Aspects

Spear

Silent Spear (Utility Passive) Piercing Thrust - Crystal 4 (12%)

Agile

Nimble (Boon Passive) Leap - Crystal 3 (71%)

Void

See Without Sight (Perception Passive) Hollow Strike - Crystal 3 (33%) Maw of the Dragon (Class) - Crystal 1 (1%)

Dragon

Draconic Dominion (Aura Passive) Dragon Companion - Crystal 2 (79%)

Abyssal Dragoon (Class)

Draconic Ancestry (Boon Passive) Vorpal Charge - Crystal 2 (95%) Death From Above (Class) - Crystal 1 (47%)

She sighed at the three missing Class abilities.

There were also bad days, when even little things like those missing abilities would cause her to spiral into a state of apathy, wondering what the point of all of this truly was and the hopeless feeling that she wasn't strong enough to make it to the next floor let alone the top of this tower, just like she hadn't been strong enough or fast enough or smart enough to save Basima's life and keep her promise of getting them all out of here.

Those days were the hardest to get out of bed, having no appetite for anything, and moving on autopilot just so her friends wouldn't worry. She knew that they still worried based on some of the furtive glances she would get. She also knew that Hadia was the primary reason she would get up in the morning, reminding her that there were things to do. That Karam was the reason she still ate, even if it was just a Crystal Mana Bit to keep her energy up; otherwise, he would try hand-feeding her himself and argue it was his job as the healer to make sure she was staying healthy. That Liraz was the one who could make her smile most, giving her moments of ridiculous joy as they hunted and lived in the bog. And that it was Alim who would come sit with her in the quiet, update her on the group's progress, and remind her that it was okay to feel this way, as long as she didn't give up on them completely.

It was as if her thoughts had summoned the man when she noticed Alim coming into view, walking towards her down the aisle of tables that were holding boxes of soil, seedlings, and transplanted flora. He didn't sign while he walked, pretending to be checking on the plants rather than looking for her. She didn't call him out on it, though, actually appreciating the time to center herself and prepare for a potential conversation.

When Alim did finally reach her little corner, he took his time to sit against the wall perpendicular to her, stretching his longer legs out beneath hers, as if the simple touch was a reflection of his support for her.

Even then, he didn't sign anything, simply leaning his head back and closing his eyes, taking deep breaths of the air that felt much cleaner in here. It was like being in their own little pocket of reality where the rest of the world faded away for a few minutes, and they could simply exist together.

Once his hazel eyes opened to look at her, she was slightly surprised by the first thing he signed.

"You did well today."

She huffed a laugh. "You think mindlessly killing monsters and inviting a potential assassin into our home was me doing well? That doesn't make me hopeful for the future."

Alim let out his breathy little laugh and clarified, "You were aware enough to ask about the rare spawn—gaining us two more Spirit Gems, cautious enough not to take a stranger's words at face value, tactful enough to ask us for our opinions on the matter, compassionate enough to give in to Kar and not kill a man, diplomatic enough to broker trades with the Workers and gain us some much-needed supplies, and self aware enough of your own limits to come here and rest." He paused for a moment, holding her gaze as he stated, "So, yes. You did well. We need to acknowledge even the small victories if they're ever going to help outweigh the losses."

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Jin released a high sigh, letting her head fall back against the glass wall as she looked up at the enchanted ceiling. She swore it was twinkling with blurred starlight now. When she let her gaze fall back to Alim, he was still watching her, but his posture was relaxed and contemplative, like he had all the time in the world right now.

"I'm not sure there will ever be enough victories," she finally admitted.

He offered her a soft smile; his eyes were tinged with the same sadness she felt. "Maybe not, but that's why we keep trying to chase after them."

"What if I'm tired of chasing them?" she asked, feeling the weight of that exhaustion in her bones. "What if there's no point in trying anymore because you know it will just end in more losses?"

Alim frowned at her, his eyes roving over her face as if trying to see the extent of the damage inside her. The invisible scars of trying over and over again, only to be met with more treatments that didn't work, more debt her parents struggled with, more arguments about what to try next, more empty beds and lost friends…

Before he could sign anything, they both turned as a bright light appeared above near the center of the greenhouse roof. It dimmed a moment later and took the shape of a ghostly emerald green butterfly that slowly fluttered down to hover in front of them. Jin didn't draw her spear, since her Aura could tell it wasn't a monster, but there was something else in it that she didn't quite recognize.

Alim stiffened beside Jin before bowing his head as low as he could, given their awkward positions and tangled legs.

Jin tilted her head in confusion at him for a moment before looking back at the butterfly, and a tinkling laugh like small wind chimes echoed through the greenhouse. That was when she realized this must have been another deity.

"Greetings, Jin the Wayfarer and Alim the Servant," the tiny goddess said with a feminine voice like raindrops on a still pond.

Alim's head shot up, staring at the deity in a mixture of confusion and wonder. His gaze flicked to Jin as he signed, "I can hear her in my head."

"Like hear, hear—as in sound?" she signed back in surprise.

He nodded, and Butterfly laughed again, saying, "Well, I am a deity. We can do all sorts of little tricks like that, but I'm sure that's not the question you really want to ask me."

"Why are you here?" Jin asked aloud while still signing for Alim's sake. "I'm sure it's not just to play guessing games like Fox would probably like, is it?"

"I had a question I wanted answered, and an offer to make depending on the answer," the goddess replied.

Jin tucked a strand of her jade green hair behind her ear before asking, "What if I refuse to answer?"

"Then I will be sad like Swan, but I am still hopeful like Firefly that you will answer, even if you refuse my offer."

A small laugh escaped Jin's lips as she dropped her hands into her lap and leaned back against the wall again. She couldn't understand these gods and their games. What could she possibly know that a god would care about? She remembered Fox mentioning all of the deities embodied a concept, and vaguely remembered some of them from the Trial puzzle that she didn't really partake in.

"If you're not sadness or hope like those other gods you mentioned, or play like Fox is, then what are you?"

The little butterfly seemed to perk up as she enthused, "Will you answer my question if I answer yours?"

Jin just gave the goddess a flat look, then turned to Alim and asked, "What does Butterfly represent?"

Alim looked absolutely torn for a moment as his eyes flicked between them, and he retorted, "Why would you do this to me?"

She rolled her eyes at him and teasingly signed, "Scaredy cat."

"Cat is not scared," Butterfly interjected. "Viper is terror, but less being scared and more being scary. Cat is just a bully."

"That actually makes sense," Jin had to agree, recalling all the cat videos of them simply being assholes to everyone. After another moment of Alim refusing to answer her question, she finally sighed and caved. "Fine. I promise to answer your question, since you said I could still refuse the offer."

The butterfly wings fluttered faster in the goddess's excitement. "Wonderful. My concept is 'change.' I love things that always shift and transform into something new, like plants that grow. I love that you chose to make this greenhouse for them." Butterfly drifted down to land on her legs right where they rested atop Alim's. "Now, my question for you was regarding something you said right after becoming a Caster before sleeping in the treasure room that some of us deities have been arguing over."

Jin tilted her head in confusion, barely remembering some of that time due to the exhaustion from ascending. "What exactly did I say?"

"You mentioned being a nihilist, but didn't explain what it was. We've not heard the word before, and are curious."

Her nose scrunched up slightly as she awkwardly replied, "Oh. Um. Well, it can mean a few different things depending on the various types of nihilism you're referring to. At its core, I guess it just means rejecting certain parts of existence? I only really know because I looked it up online after my therapist mentioned it."

"Then what parts do you reject, Wayfarer?"

"Well, a little bit less than I did before coming here," Jin admitted, looking down at her lap and contemplating everything that had shifted within her simply by meeting a creepy witch and getting tossed across realities.

"I think I can safely believe in a multiverse now, and that gods exist in at least some form. However, my type of nihilism that I identified with even before coming here is called 'existential nihilism,' which rejects the idea that there is a higher purpose or meaning to existence," she explained, glancing over at Alim, who was looking at her with that same frown again.

He cocked his head at her, as if slotting some missing puzzle pieces together, and hesitantly signed, "So you think that because there's no greater meaning or purpose to drive us, then there's no point in living at all?"

She shrugged and replied, "Basically. Gods didn't show themselves back in my world, even if they did exist. And meeting the gods here and seeing how little they seemed to care for humans' lives, a lot like back on my world, considering how much bad shit they let happen, only really reinforced that belief."

Jin turned her gaze back to Butterfly and added, "I'm not entirely sure which is worse, having absent gods or ones that like to play games with lives, but neither makes me want to believe there's some greater reason behind it; otherwise, that reason could only be cruel by allowing cruelty to happen."

The goddess's wings slowed their flapping as the tiny fuzzy head with big, solid green eyes stared at her for a long moment before asking, "Do you believe the gods here are cruel?"

"Yes," Jin replied without hesitation. "I know people can be cruel on their own, but here that seems to be rewarded. If you all are so powerful to start it, then you should be powerful enough to stop it, but you choose not to."

"Perhaps not all of us choose that," the tiny goddess said in barely more than a whisper against her mind. Then, in her normal tone, she announced, "I shall tell you my offer now. I would like to grant you a Blessing and mark you as my Chosen one."

Jin blinked at her, then snorted a laugh, before that laugh rippled into more until she was clutching her stomach and wiping tears from her eyes.

Both Alim and Butterfly seemed to exchange concerned looks over her behavior, and that simply made her laugh more.

Once she managed to calm down slightly, she asked through wheezing breaths, "You seriously… came all this way… asked what I thought about gods… then actually offered to turn me into a divine trope?"

"Um… yes?" the goddess hesitantly replied. "It's a little different than what all the others are offered when becoming a Champion. Being Chosen is a stronger bond, and eventually, you might change into something more powerful. Plus, the Blessing now could help change your fate in the tower."

"Oh, well in that case," Jin started to say as if giving in, "not only no, but fuck no." She leaned forward to point a finger at the tiny butterfly. "I said it before to your little fox pal, but we're not pawns, and I don't plan on ever becoming one. In fact, if I do manage to get to the top of this stupid tower and win that wish, I'm half-tempted to wish all of the gods to go kill themselves so they stop killing everyone else."

Jin's chest was heaving with the anger that started coursing through her during that rant, but Butterfly merely let out that tinkling little laugh again.

"Then I shall wish you luck and hope you reach the top to win that wish, Jin the Wayfarer," the goddess said, then vanished like smoke in the breeze.

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