Taeui waited in the room’s living area, leafing through newspapers and magazines, because Ilrey, perhaps due to being in contact with someone, didn’t fall asleep until late.Instructor Hogan must have long since sensed that Taeui was watching him, too, but tonight he seemed even more on edge. Just before closing the door behind him, he snapped in a frosty tone, “I didn’t realize the deputy instructor’s duties were nothing more than a watchdog’s.” He was probably uneasy because his own work was waiting and he couldn’t shake Taeui’s gaze, but the barb also carried unmistakable mockery of being monitored.He’d never spoken so openly before, but for almost a week he’d worn that plainly hostile attitude. And yet, he couldn’t back down an inch, so his nerves were frayed to shreds.On top of that double stress, there was that damn Lieutenant Kim, who often landed an uppercut of verbal abuse whenever they crossed paths. Taeui had no means to fight back or shrug it off. Worse, for reasons he couldn’t fathom, Ilrey and Kim Jeong-pil sometimes sat together.Kim Jeong-pil seemed to feel a camaraderie with Ilrey, since rumors said Ilrey and Taeui were at odds—but what did Ilrey see in him? A man who showed not an iota of interest in others was chatting with that bastard.…Just now, though, Taeui realized why.“Did you enjoy digging into my past through him?” Ilrey asked.They probably only exchanged old stories of no great significance, but the thought of that unpleasant past being spoken of by someone else—of all people this man—made Taeui’s tone sour. Yet Ilrey only smiled serenely.“Ah, I think I’ve heard all the stories he could tell. The same tales are starting to repeat.”Taeui tore at his hair and shouted irritably, “Ugh—.”Not only was everyone gossiping anywhere and everywhere, now even the one I’m sleeping with—though he wouldn’t know—was repeating slander. I should just—“I even thought, maybe I wronged him somehow without knowing it and should apologize, but forget it! What wrong did I do? What apology?” Taeui roared as if breathing fire.Ilrey, sipping his beer beside him and watching with narrow eyes, suddenly muttered, “An apology, huh….” then smiled chillingly.“You’d better quit.”“I was just going to!”“Good. Quit. I’m cutting you some slack only because we’re at odds.”Ilrey set his empty can on the table with a light clink. Taeui, nursing the half-finished beer, paused and raised an eyebrow at him. Ilrey’s faint smile was as usual, but somehow colder than before.“—What’s that supposed to mean? You cut me slack because you don’t like me? Normally, if two people hate each other, wouldn’t you hate someone who hates me?”“It looked like two pups fighting, and though I didn’t like you sparring and throwing punches, {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} it wasn’t intolerable. It was even refreshing to see a side of you I’d never seen. So I thought I could just let it be….”Pups? Are you calling me a puppy…?“If that bastard’s twisted nature ever untwists and he becomes friends with you….”“Becomes friends?” Taeui repeated suspiciously. Ilrey fell silent, simply watching him with those narrow, curved eyes. Taeui grew even more suspicious and tilted his head.Friends? I already have plenty of friends. This whole division is full of them.“I think he’ll do something to annoy you. Something big. If that happens… well, just lightly.”“Lightly what?” Taeui pressed. Ilrey’s answer never came; only a glint of menace flickered across his slight smile.Taeui sensed there were two or three troubling implications, but somehow he decided not to ask. He snapped his lips shut and resumed sipping his beer.“Don’t hang out with that bastard,” Ilrey snarled. Then he came back and perched on the edge of the bed. The mattress sank softly under him.Taeui met Ilrey’s gaze, drinking his beer slowly. Ilrey said nothing until the can was empty, eyes unblinkingly fixed on him. Finally, Taeui spoke first.“Why?”“I feel a bit sorry, that’s all.”“Sorry about what?”“I wish I’d known you earlier.”Taeui raised an eyebrow. As he blinked to follow the remark’s sudden train of thought, Ilrey leaned back on one hand and continued.“The you who fought Kim Jeong-pil is a you I didn’t know. It was fresh and fun to see… but at the same time, I regret not knowing you then.”Taeui stared at Ilrey without lowering the beer can.If only I’d known him earlier. Before he was discharged. Back in cadet days. As a youth. Before entering school. Five-year-old Ilrey. Ten-year-old Ilrey. Fifteen, twenty-year-old Ilrey. All those Ilreys that shaped the man he is now—if only I’d known them all.“….”He didn’t think so. If he’d met him then, days like this would never have come. They wouldn’t be what they are today.He was satisfied with what they had now. Nothing more, nothing less.“I don’t think you need to have known me back then. Besides… if you’d met me in that tumultuous childhood, you’d have pitied me.”If such a man had been around me as a child, I might have grown up twisted. Even now I couldn’t call myself fully mature, but at least I’d grown not to hate myself.Ilrey watched silently as Taeui bit the empty can lightly and shook it idly in thought. Then, in a soft voice, he asked,“Do you regret it?”Taeui stared at Ilrey’s impassive face, uncertain what he meant. At first he was dazed, not grasping the question, then even more stunned that such a question could come from him.Do I regret meeting him? No, I don’t.Then, if I could turn back time, would I choose a life that never met him?…That gave him something to ponder.He thought seriously. After staring at Ilrey for a long moment, then meeting that silent gaze waiting for his answer, he found it.He shook his head.“No. …But separate from regret, I feel that since meeting you, I’ve had to live a life of resolve.”“Resolve?”“Yeah, resolve.”He must live with the resolve that at any moment beside this man—who’d sown hatred in every direction—he could be struck by lightning; that this man’s whims, unpredictable as they are, could cut him off at any time; that by some mistake, his life could hang on Ilrey’s hand. Even if those things were unlikely, he had to engrave them in his heart to walk beside him.He couldn’t help it. It was Ilrey’s nature to live that way, and Taeui’s nature to foresee these things. Not out of negativity or pessimism, but realism—considering what could happen at any moment.Even so, Taeui chose to be with Ilrey. (Though it’s misleading to say it was purely his own will.)To live with this man, he had to accept these as part of his life.“Oh, by the way, I heard a lot of people are planning to ambush you. Don’t die on the march tomorrow.”It wasn’t something one says casually to someone close—especially not as a half-joke.Except for accepting that way of life, it was fine. Not bad. Good.…Moreover, even if dozens plotted against him, it hardly felt like a real threat…In that inexplicable trust—if you could call it that—Taeui reached out and tapped Ilrey’s arm.But the very man he warned paid no heed. Ilrey, lost in thought, suddenly spoke. Unusually hesitating, he paused, then blurted out,“In that resolve…”“…?”“Does it include your danger?”Taeui stared at Ilrey. He couldn’t tell why he asked, but it wasn’t mere curiosity.Frowning, Taeui scratched his head and answered truthfully in one word:“Of course.”Ilrey said nothing for a while in response to that unassuming reply. Then, folding his arms and looking at Taeui as if seeing something beyond him, he finally spoke,“You’re right, Taei. I know I could easily kill someone on a whim, without enough time to stop myself or think twice—just that easily. And you—voluntarily with me—always live with that in mind.”Listening to each hushed word, Taeui realized. This man’s mood was subtly twisted in places. Though it wasn’t meant that way, he felt as if Ilrey were reproaching him.“So what? It’s true you’re overwhelmingly stronger than me, and you can’t suddenly change your humanity now. You can’t fix it even if you wanted to. Or can you?”Ilrey tapped his arm slowly. Tap, tap. The silence stretched long. The answer he expected finally came.“No.”“See? That’s how it is. Then we can only maintain the current situation in the best way possible.”Taeui shrugged as if asking why Ilrey was so earnest about it. Silence fell again, but this time no answer came.A short, disgruntled tongue-click was all that sounded.

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