What a shitty choice. I wanted with all my being to refuse this absurdity. It would have been better to leave Victorian chained up, suffering torture for the rest of his life, than to simply resolve an armed conflict where everyone might want my head.

Still, I accepted. Why? Because I'm obviously not right in the head! I should have just let the offer slide and quietly enjoy the rest of my pathetic life, but nooo, I had to involve the big guy and feel astronomical guilt for refusing.

I hate my uncle, honestly... it didn't even take a day since I said "yes", and I'm already packing my bags to go after the problem. I don't even need to comment on how the counselors simply went crazy, right? Sending the young problem of the aristocracy into the middle of a battlefield and asking him to solve it alone. I would also find that completely absurd!

At least, I was compensated with a good amount of money that will give me some breathing room.

"That goddamn senile old man…" I cursed under my breath, fiddling with the papers on my father's office desk, which I came to fetch.

"Are you talking about your uncle or me?"

"KWAAAHH!"

Why does the duke have to appear so suddenly?! Hell, besides letting out a little shriek, my heart jumped against my ribs and went back! Even worse, why did Leonhardt come with him? Wasn't this jerk supposed to be preparing for that crazy church inquisition, just like in the original manuscript of Sword of The Iron Maiden?

Duke Moonlight is standing there in the doorway, with his usual serious bear face, but there's a glint of irony in his eyes that makes me think he only showed up to laugh at my misfortune. Leonhardt, on the other hand, is right next to him with a somewhat shocked expression, tilting his face to the side as if he wants to understand the reason why I'm here.

"Tsk, Duke!" I complain, throwing the papers back onto the desk. "Can't you announce your arrival like a normal person, no?"

"I announced it. You were so busy cursing you didn't even hear."

Leonhardt lets out a muffled laugh.

"So it's really true, Darius? You're going North?"

I look at the two of them, puffing and wanting to slap the inquisitor's face just because his expression disgusts me.

"Oh, great, you know about it too? Soon they'll be printing flyers in the square talking about how Darius Moonlight turned into a popsicle in the country's most inhospitable and hostile environment! Then I'll become an urban legend, the 'popsicle guy,' and that will be my legacy! How lovely!"

The duke doesn't move, he just stares at me with that irritating calm.

"The King wouldn't give you this task if there weren't a reason."

"Don't give me that talk, old man." I run my hand through my hair, almost pulling out some strands in the process. "It was clearly a way to bury me along with the problem, and you know that better than I do!"

"And yet you accepted", Leonhardt comments.

"Shut up, church dog."

"Woof woof?"

I want to bang my head against the wall. My life is a disaster, I accepted this stupid mission, and I still have to put up with these two as an audience. Compared to the ugly fight in the North, I honestly believe that escaping the royalty and causing chaos in the Scorn along with Ravenna was easier than what I'm about to do now.

The Northern War of Independence is a well-developed conflict in the work because it lasts for many years, to the point that even after Leonhardt left the church, he ended up getting involved in the middle of this mess. The question is how to manage the side of the kingdom and these guys.

If it were up to me, I'd let them be independent and be done with it, because the kingdom is also kind of a bastard for shoving so many taxes down those guys' throats and not even treating them like human beings. It pisses me off.

"Leonhardt wanted to come to say goodbye", the duke finally speaks, breaking my train of thought. "The carriage is already waiting downstairs. Kristia, Leliana, Ravena, and Victorian are waiting for you at the entrance."

"Great. They're going to see me walking straight to my funeral."

Leonhardt even takes a step forward, giving me that irritating protagonist look full of conviction, which always annoys me whether I want it to or not.

"It's not a funeral, it's an opportunity to change things for the better."

"An opportunity to perhaps avoid a slow and agonizing death, is that what you meant?" I retort, gesturing dramatically. "Oh, wait, it's to change things for the better! So it's a guide of what not to do!"

Man, that deadpan expression of yours isn't going to change my opinion, but whatever. The main character of the work is convinced of his own words because he himself is not a normal person, on the contrary, this crazy guy has the power to decimate an entire fleet of trained knights if he wants. I don't have that power.

"You talk like that because you don't understand, Leonhardt" I continue, pointing my finger at the inquisitor. "You're not the one who's going to have to negotiate with a bunch of warriors who hate you to the depths of their souls. You're not the one who's going to be at the mercy of a knife in the dark because any of those guys might want my head in exchange for honor or revenge. Unlike you, no divine blessing rains down on my head, nor does a sacred sword fall into my lap every Thursday."

"That's not what I mean, Darius. I talk like this because I know you can survive it."

"Oh, sure, you believe it. That solves everything, right? Because the church's saint thinks I can handle it, so presto, the war is already won."

He just holds the gaze, without rebutting or changing his expression. This makes me angry. Why can't you show a different emotion even in this kind of situation, you damned man?

Duke Moonlight then takes a deep breath, adjusting his coat as if he wanted to end the scene quickly.

"It's decided, in any case. You must leave according to what the King requested."

I looked from one to the other with that trash feeling bothering me in my stomach. No matter how much I complained, threw a fit, or tried to get away with sarcasm, the truth was there was no turning back now.

We descended together, but it felt like every step was a sentence hammering in my head. When we reached the main hall, the light passing through the stained glass almost blinded me, and outside, the carriage was already waiting, along with the people waiting for me.

Kristia stood with her arms crossed, wearing that cold, disgusted look, like the good little sister she was in our healthy relationship. Leliana was right next to her, clearly distressed, clutching her fan tightly between her fingers... strange, it's the first time I've seen her like this, I feel like something is wrong with this.

Ravenna was staring at me with an uncomfortable intensity, I could see a dignified confusion in her expression, and I understand the reason behind it, considering that even I didn't understand why I accepted this mission in the end.

Finally, Victorian... the bastard looked like he'd stepped out of a heroic painting with his armor and spear, but without the helmet, revealing his hair and his extremely defined neck muscles.

"Boss..." he was the first to speak, with a voice so bitter I thought he was going to cry. "I'm sorry, I didn't want things to go this far. You shouldn't have accepted that request..."

"Shut up before I change my mind and leave you here to rot forever."

Leliana stepped forward, tapping my shoulder with her fan to get my attention.

"Darius, why did you accept that absurd request??"

Yeah, I already imagined this reaction from my stepmother, considering how reckless and irresponsible I actually am. I shrug.

"Because I'm an idiot, duh. The King also wouldn't want to be near me after I called his son a tiny dick, isn't that obvious?"

"Stop fooling around" Ravenna spoke, clearly wanting to pressure me to find something. "You could have refused. The King wouldn't have killed you for it. So, why did you agree to throw your life away in the North?"

"I have debts to pay, isn't that obvious?"

There are no more questions for me as I force my way straight to the carriage, tossing my bags inside and leaving the door open for the other two companions to board, namely Victorian and Ravenna.

I lean against the window, just to look at a curious detail... the carriage remained stopped.

"Huh... how much longer do we have to wait? Did the coachman skip out?"

"Of course not." Leliana rolled her eyes hearing what I said. "Did you forget that we would also be sending a servant with you, one who can do everything?"

"And the damn person is taking forever to arrive?! Call them already!"

"Darius, she is bringing the horses, right there..."

My stepmother points to the side. I poke my head out, ready to yell at this person who was causing me so much delay, but I stop in mid-motion. Who is coming is... an angel with beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts, a nice ass, in a set of clothes that I would believe belonged to an adventurer if it weren't for this woman's unmistakable expression.

"Elizia!"

There's no way this trip could get any better!

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