"Mm, are we still going to meet that town mayor you were talking about?" I turned to Rivi in bed. We'd been lazing around in bed the last three days, and it was really about time for me to get up and start moving around again, but neither of us had made any moves as yet.

"Why? Do you want to?" Rivi mused, scritching behind Rufi's ear who was lazing comfortably between us in bed.

"I don't know, I just kinda get the feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something, you know? We've been laying around like this for the past few days, it's not like we can keep doing this forever…"

"Why not? Sure as the Floor Guardian I'd probably be summoned back by my sisters eventually, but I wouldn't be surprised if they let us off for a decade or two. What's the difference between spending it running around outside or laying around here with you?"

I pushed my head back into the pillow. Damn was this really ok? Yeah, it wasn't exactly like I'd been helping anyone since I'd resurrected, but it still felt wrong to just be laying still like this. Didn't I have any ambition? Wasn't I supposed to fight the bad guys and become someone great and mighty? Or didn't I at least want revenge against the people who'd tricked and killed me?

"Don't you get like…restless, though? Wandering around without a purpose? Isn't that kind of…negligent of your duty or something?"

Rivi snorted and gave a thin smile. "You sound like my sisters. No, I don't think it's that important to have a purpose. Maybe it's just the part of Melphinoe that I represent, but I don't really put that much value in duty or ambition.

"You could say that it's my duty to save people and make people's lives better because I have a lot of power, but haven't I already saved a lot of people and made many people's lives better? Just because I decide to choose ways that benefit me and that I enjoy over ways that demand too much out of me, does that make me a bad person? Is it wrong to take breaks or spend time with people you love?"

"You spent seventeen years in that other world living as a guy. Did you enjoy those years? You got summoned into another world to be a hero, did you choose that path? And didn't the gods who made that choice for you betray you? You've already fulfilled your debt to society, why would it be wrong to take some time to enjoy things for yourself?"

She hugged my arm. "I know things have been hard for you, but that doesn't mean you have to be hard on yourself. It's ok to let go, to be free for a while, and let what happens, happens. If you're still guilty you'll have time to make your mark later. You're one of Our Lady's Undead servants, you'll have plenty of time ahead of you for anything you want to accomplish."

I sat there stunned for a little bit, before finally sitting up. "I think…I need to get some air." I got up carefully, not daring to look Rivi in the eyes as I fled towards the mansion's gardens.

"What's right, and what's wrong, and why do I feel like this?" I muttered to myself as I stepped out into the garden. It wasn't like me to be this vague and philosophical. All this time I'd gotten by on the power of just pushing forwards, but now I wondered what there even was to push towards. For all the warmth and comfort of staying by Rivi's side, I felt rather lost and aimless despite the fact.

"What's up, you alright? You look kind of out of it?" I heard Tevera's voice behind me, and turned to find her drifting in her ghost-state.

"How long have you been alive?" I asked, rather abruptly.

Tevera blinked. "You know that's not a very polite question to ask either a lady or a ghost, and I happen to be both." She chuckled lightly. "A little over four hundred years, I think. Why? Rivi's age getting to you?"

"No," I sat down on a stone bench, and let her sit down next to me. "I just…I don't know what I'm supposed to live for. I guess."

"Oh? Basically just an infant and already questioning your reason for existing? How profound, the undead really must be having an influence on you."

I glared at her. "I don't remember you being this sarcastic."

Tevera chuckled. "People have a lot of different sides to them, sprout, you should take good note of that."

She sighed and looked up to the sky. "There's a lot of different reasons people find to exist, but I think the most important is always the one you find for yourself. I think that's why youth is always hard for a lot of mortals, you grow up always listening to what your parents or your schoolmates or your teachers want of you, and then suddenly you find one day that it's not enough, that you've always been something for someone else and never for yourself."

"Was it like that for you?" I turned to her curiously.

Tevera was quiet for a long moment. "It's not something to be lightly said." She said at last then turned to me. "I hope you can respect that."

I blinked, suddenly feeling guilty. "Oh, sorry. I guess I was a little hasty."

Tevera sighed. "Don't mind it too much, I'm just drawing a boundary. Besides, I don't think my answer would change that much. In the end, only you know the answers to your own heart. Anyways." She exhaled and stood up. "I should get going. Very nice seeing you little miss." The stoic subservience I had seen from her in the study suddenly dropped back into place, and she bowed to me and gracefully drifted off.

"So strange…" I blinked at her sudden change, the corner of my mouth tugging up. But then I sighed again only to chuckle a moment later. "How strange, why does it feel like investigating my own heart is harder than fighting monsters? Is this the real reason I was so excited to be a hero?" I joked, pressing my hand up against my face.

"Well, whatever the answer is…" I looked back towards the manor where Rivi was still lounging. "I suppose we'll find out together."

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