If war had a sound, Reed assumed it would be the clash of steel or the roar of dragons.

He was wrong.

War sounded like the furious, rhythmic thwack-hiss-thwack of a magical sewing machine being operated with lethal intent.

Reed stood in the doorway of what used to be Grika's secondary storage closet. Maira had annexed it three hours ago. It was now The Textile Department.

The room smelled of ozone, starch, and tension.

On one side stood Maira. She had discarded her usual maid uniform for a pristine white lab coat worn over a black bodysuit that looked painted on. She was measuring a roll of glossy, black fabric that looked suspiciously like latex.

On the other side stood Grika. She was wearing her tool belt and a towel. She was holding a pair of shears like a dagger.

"It's too much fabric!" Grika yelled, gesturing at the mannequin Maira was dressing. "I'm an engineer, not a nun! If I'm underwater, I need freedom of movement! I need to feel the flow!"

"You need containment," Maira countered without looking up. She snapped a chalk line on the fabric. Snap. "Your current… assets… create drag. Drag reduces velocity. Reduced velocity means dead goblins."

"My 'assets' are aerodynamic!" Grika argued, puffing out her chest.

"They are ballistic hazards," Maira corrected. "If you turn too quickly in the water without support, you will give yourself a concussion."

Reed cleared his throat.

Both women snapped their heads toward him.

"Master," Maira said, adjusting her glasses. "You are early. The prototypes are not ready for inspection."

"I heard screaming," Reed said. "And something about ballistic hazards."

"She's trying to put me in a wetsuit, Boss!" Grika complained, pointing at Maira. "A full-body, rubber wetsuit! I'll suffocate! My skin needs to breathe!"

"It is a hydro-dynamic compression suit," Maira stated. "It increases swimming speed by 20%. It is logical."

"It's boring!" Grika shouted. "We're the Teasing Tomb, right? Not the… Boring… Basement!"

Reed stepped into the room. "Okay. Time out. We need a compromise."

He looked at the black fabric Maira was working with. It was slick, durable, and definitely waterproof. He looked at Grika, whose towel was slipping dangerously low.

"Maira," Reed said. "Function is important. But Grika has a point. If they hate wearing the gear, they won't fight well. Morale is a stat too."

Maira pursed her lips. She looked at Grika, then back at the fabric.

"Very well," she conceded. "I will… reduce the surface area. But the compression stays."

Grika grinned. "Deal. As long as I can feel the water."

"And what about the others?" Reed asked.

Maira turned to a rack of sketches.

"The Slime Unit requires containment to prevent dilution," Maira said. "The Harpy Unit refuses to wear clothes, so I have designed a harness system. And the Guardian Unit…"

Maira hesitated.

"What about Seraphine?"

"She is cold," Maira said. "Reptiles suffer in the subterranean river. I have had to integrate… thermal threading."

Reed raised an eyebrow. "Heated swimsuits?"

"It was necessary," Maira said. "Otherwise she just coils around the nearest heat source and refuses to move. Usually you."

"I fail to see the problem," Reed muttered.

"It is inefficient," Maira snapped. "Now, get out, Master. We have a deadline. The fashion show is at 1200 hours."

She shoved him out of the room and slammed the door.

The Core Chamber – 12:00 Hours

Reed sat on his stone throne (bed), trying to look regal. He failed. He looked like a man nervously waiting for a bomb to go off.

The room had been arranged like a runway. Maira had placed mana-torches along the sides of the room to create dramatic lighting.

"System," Reed whispered. "Please tell me this counts as dungeon management."

[QUEST ACTIVE: THE GREAT SWIMSUIT CRISIS]

Current Task: Judge the Prototypes.

Criteria:

– Functionality: Can they fight in it? – Aesthetic: Does it fit the "Teasing Tomb" brand?

– Morale: Do they feel cute?

"Right," Reed said. "Morale. Very important."

The door to the workshop opened. Music—or rather, a rhythmic thrumming sound generated by the dungeon walls—began to play.

Maira stepped out first. She was holding her clipboard, acting as the announcer. She was still wearing her lab coat, buttoned tight.

"Prototype One," Maira announced. "Designation: The Gel-Casing. Model: Luma."

Luma wobbled into the room.

Reed's jaw dropped.

Maira had solved the "dilution" problem by essentially vacuum-sealing the slime girl.

Luma was wearing a one-piece swimsuit made of transparent, high-tensile material that shimmered like glass. It was tight. Incredibly tight. It squeezed her gelatinous form into a perfect, firm hourglass shape. Because the material was clear, you could see the bubbles inside her body moving as she walked.

The suit had blue piping along the seams, glowing faintly with magic.

"I'm solid!" Luma cheered, bouncing onto the runway. She slapped her own hip. Thud. "Listen! No squish! I bounce!"

She demonstrated by jumping. She didn't jiggle; she sprang. The suit held her together like a water balloon in a corset.

"It feels like a hug that never ends!" Luma beamed.

[Gear: Hydro-Shell Suit]

Stats: +10 DEF, +5 SPD.

Effect: [Cohesion] – Prevents slime dilution in water. Turns Luma into a rubber ball of destruction.

"Approved," Reed choked out. "Very… practical."

"Prototype Two," Maira called out. "Designation: The Torpedo. Model: Grika."

Grika strutted out. She was holding a harpoon gun she must have built in the last hour.

She had won the argument about surface area.

Her "suit" was technically a bikini, but it looked more like industrial strapping. It was made of matte black rubber and brass buckles. The top was a halter style that pushed everything up and in, seemingly defying gravity through sheer engineering willpower. The bottoms were high-cut, held together by tool loops.

She had a belt laden with waterproof grease grenades and a wrench holster on her thigh.

"Minimal drag," Grika winked, posing with the harpoon. She turned, showing off the back. There wasn't much back to see. Just straps and muscle. "Maximum mobility."

[Gear: Sapper's Straps]

Stats: +15 AGI, -5 DEF.

Effect: [Greased Lightning] – Movement speed in water doubled. Storage for explosives.

"Approved," Reed said, sweating. "Very… aerodynamic."

"Prototype Three," Maira announced. "Designation: The Sky-Diver. Model: Riva."

Riva flew in. She crashed into the wall, slid down, and landed in a pose.

She was wearing… ribbons.

Maira had realized Riva hated heavy cloth, so she hadn't bothered. Instead, Riva wore a harness of shiny, silver ribbons that wrapped around her torso and wings. It covered the bare minimum required for a PG-13 rating, but mostly it just made her look like a very dangerous, very shiny present.

"Shiny!" Riva screeched, pulling at a silver strap on her chest. "Look Boss! I sparkle!"

"It is reflective," Maira noted. "To confuse enemies and allow for visual tracking in the dark."

[Gear: Flash-Harness]

Stats: +10 Stealth (Dazzle), +5 CHA.

Effect: [Lure] – Enemies are distracted by the shiny.

"Approved," Reed said. "If only to keep her from flying naked."

"And finally," Maira said, her voice dropping a little. "Prototype Four. Designation: The Thermal Dreadnought. Model: Seraphine."

The room grew quiet.

Seraphine glided in.

She wasn't shivering anymore.

She wore a suit of armor—if armor was made of black latex and gold plating.

It covered her human torso in a high-necked, sleeveless bodysuit made of the thermal fabric. It hugged her curves like a second skin. Over the chest and shoulders, gold plates were woven into the fabric, providing protection.

But the real masterpiece was the tail.

Maira had fashioned a series of segmented, heated rings that slid over Seraphine's tail at intervals. They glowed with a soft, orange warmth. Between the rings, Seraphine's emerald scales glistened with oil.

She looked sleek. She looked deadly. She looked hot—literally and figuratively.

Seraphine coiled in the center of the room, basking in the heat of her own outfit. She ran a hand down her side.

"Warm," she purred. "It feels like… sun-warmed rock. Everywhere."

She looked at Reed, her pupils blowing wide.

"My Lord," she hissed. "I am ready to hunt."

[Gear: Thermal reactor Plate]

Stats: +20 DEF, +10 STR.

Effect: [Cold Blooded Counter] – Negates penalties from cold water. Adds [Burn] damage to constriction attacks.

Reed stood up. He clapped.

"Maira," he said. "You're a genius."

Maira lowered her clipboard. She unbuttoned her lab coat.

"I have also," she said softly, "prepared a prototype for myself. For supervision purposes."

She let the coat slide off her shoulders.

Underneath, she wore a one-piece swimsuit that was the definition of "strict." It was black, high-collared, with white piping that mimicked a tuxedo or a maid's uniform. It had sleeves. It had a high cut leg.

It was modest, severe, and somehow the most erotic thing in the room because of how tightly it clung to her. She wore waterproof thigh-high boots.

She adjusted her glasses.

"Designation: The Lifeguard," she said. "If anyone drowns… I will be very disappointed."

[Gear: Supervisor's Skin]

Stats: +10 INT, +10 Authority.

Effect: [No Running] – Can instantly debuff enemy movement speed in water.

Reed slumped back onto his bed. His Mana was fine. His blood pressure was critical.

"Quest complete," he whispered. "We have swimsuits."

Floor 2 – The Slime Springs – Test Run

An hour later, they stood on the edge of the subterranean lake. The water was murky no more—Luma's filter-body and Maira's cleaning protocols had turned it into a clear, steaming pool.

"Alright," Reed said. "Field test. Everyone in."

Riva didn't wait. She dive-bombed from the ceiling, hitting the water with a splash that sent spray everywhere.

"WET!" she screamed, surfacing in a tangle of silver ribbons. "SHINY WET!"

Luma walked to the edge. She looked at the water. She looked at her vacuum-sealed suit.

She jumped.

She didn't splash. She bounced.

Her rubberized body hit the surface, skipped once like a stone, and then she dove under. She rocketed back up a second later, shooting ten feet into the air.

"I'M A BALL!" she yelled. "LOOK AT ME GO!"

She began ricocheting off the cavern walls, using her [Cohesion] to turn herself into a high-velocity projectile.

Seraphine slithered into the water slowly. As the cold liquid hit her scales, she flinched—but then the thermal rings kicked in. They glowed orange.

She sighed, a long release of tension.

"Acceptable," she murmured. She sank lower until only her human half was visible. "It is… pleasant."

Grika adjusted her goggles. She looked at Reed.

"You coming in, Boss? Or are you just gonna watch from the dry land like a creep?"

Reed looked at the water. He looked at his monster girls—bouncing, swimming, glowing.

"I'm coming," he said.

He stepped into the water. It was warm.

Before he could get waist deep, the water swirled around him.

A massive coil wrapped around his legs. Seraphine pulled him deeper.

"My Lord," she purred, surfacing next to him. "The water makes things… lighter. Easier to move."

Another shape shot through the water. Grika surfaced on his other side, clinging to his arm. Her rubber straps were slick against his skin.

"Easier to grab, too," the goblin grinned.

Luma landed on his head with a boing.

Maira stood on the shore, arms crossed, watching them with a critical eye.

"No horseplay!" she called out.

Then, she sighed, removed her glasses, and waded in with a look of long-suffering resignation.

"Form a line," Maira ordered, wading toward Reed. "If we are going to do this, we are going to do it efficiently. I will scrub your back, Master. Seraphine, take the legs."

Reed floated there, suspended by a snake, hugged by a goblin, hat-ed by a slime, and groomed by a demon.

He looked up at the stone ceiling.

"System," he thought. "I'm never leaving."

[STATUS UPDATE] Floor 2: Operational. Morale: Maximum.

Dignity: Minimal.

Reed closed his eyes and let himself float. The water was fine.

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