Jimmy passed out. This wasn't a surprise considering his six semen shots that could knock a bird right out of the sky, but the fact of the matter was that his passing out was counter-productive.
It took four hours for him to wake up. He woke up with a splitting headache, and a level of disorientation that he had never experienced before in his life! He felt like a zombie.
Five minutes after, he started to figure out what happened. For one thing, the dried semen across his dead laptop screen gave him a good hint.
"Fuck…." He heaved out a big sigh, "My fucking laptop's dead?! After all these years, I can't believe a load of cum fried my CPU!"
Jimmy was livid. He was angry, and frustrated. He had two-hundred dollars to his name right now, and the fact that he had to buy a new laptop just to continue his studies, didn't only make him broke, it virtually put his net worth in the negative! Well, other than the student loans.
It only made things more complicated when he remembered that he had a date less than two days from now. Paired with the fact that he needed normal things, like eating food everyday, he concluded that he was in big trouble.
Those one-dollar hot dogs have helped him gain a few pounds over the past couple of years, but even though he was sick of eating those, they were still the cheapest food he could afford. In this case, he wouldn't be able to afford cheap hot dogs either if he took Anna on a date.
"Well," He groaned, and held his aching head, "This means I gotta make a very awkward call, and ask dad for money. But… dad will know that something's up, so I better call mom. Even if by some astronomical chance she knew that I broke my laptop while fapping, she'll know enough not to point it out. Worse case scenario, she'll mention how my cousins have kept their laptops running for eight years no problem. As if that's fucking true."
Jimmy then called his mother. After an hour of wrestling on the phone, and being scolded for not having a 4.00 GPA like his cousins, she agreed to help him out. His parents covered hundreds of dollars of his monthly expenses anyway, so it wasn't problematic for them to send him some more money.
After a lot of haggling, she had agreed to send him three-hundred dollars via one of the many popular online banks. Now three-hundred dollars may not look like much, but for him, it was just enough to get his life back on track. Well, almost back on track, as he didn't know if his rapid erections were fixed yet.
Jimmy's mother had insisted that he'd buy a new, low-range laptop with the money she sent him. Although he agreed with her over the phone, his plan was to buy a second-hand laptop, one which was closer to mid-range in terms of performance. He needed a stronger computer, because some programs he used in a couple of of his classes were either CPU, or GPU heavy.
A computer with a dinosaur-like performance wouldn't be enough. He was well-versed with the struggles of having a potato laptop. His mom wouldn't be able to do anything about it, as she and his father lived in another state.
That aside, he knew a store clerk across the street who refurbished the computers he bought from customers. He was a tech wiz, so the products he sold were dependable.
"Hell, if I wipe the cum off my screen, I can probably get a few bucks for this old primordial clanker of a computer." He thought, and started looking for one of his socks. "Museums are expensive. I'm gonna need as much money as possible if I'm gonna show Anna a good time."
*Ding!*
A notification hit his phone. He didn't bother to read through it, as he was still a bit disoriented, but just sighed in relief when he saw the dollar sign, and the number three-hundred attached to it. Despite the scolding, his mother was his hero today!
Jimmy sold his computer the next day, and was hoping that the clerk wouldn't locate his load on the motherboard. The clerk saw hints of semen annihilation, but didn't care.
The most valuable thing on Jimmy's old computer was its CPU, and its half-a-terabyte SSD storage, which he had mounted himself. The motherboard was worthless even if it hadn't been fried, so the clerk tossed it, and kept the few parts that he could mount on other laptops.
At the end, the clerk estimated the total value of the pieces at one-hundred dollars, specifically because of the sizable SSD storage, but only offered eighty dollars to Jimmy.
However, his mother had taught him a thing or two about bargaining, so in an attempt to haggle, he mentioned that he was looking to buy a laptop from this clerk's store. This in turn, coaxed the clerk to pay a hundred dollars for Jimmy's old, cum riddled laptop.
"Well, now we're in business." Jimmy celebrated, and then he embarrassingly said, "Do me a favor and wipe out the hard drive, though. Or soft-drive? Whatever they're called these days."
"No worries," The clerk said, with a smirk. "I know what you kids are up to these days. I clear twenty terabytes of fine titties on a weekly basis thanks to customers like you."
Jimmy smiled awkwardly, and tried to change topics. Twenty minutes later, he made a decision.
He decided to buy a mid-range HP laptop that had a newish CPU, made in the year 2018, which for him was as new as a computer's main component could get. It also had one gigabyte of dedicated GPU, which was just enough to run the heavy programs he needed for his studies. Its SSD storage was at 128 gigabytes, but he didn't care about this downside, because it actually brought the price down.
"No more porn," He thought, in determination, "Damn porn probably messed up my brain to begin with! I don't need it, so I don't need a half-terabyte SSD."
The laptop he bought cost one-hundred and fifty dollars. It was a little bit expensive for his taste, or in this case, his budget, but he still considered it a good deal, as he hadn't spent the full three-hundred dollars his mother gave him on a simple laptop. He figured that it would last him until graduation at least, so the laptop being refurbished wasn't much of a problem in his eyes.
"Right, I bought my puter, and I have a total of 450$ left over." He thought, as he made some light calculations, "Food for the rest of the month is gonna cost me like 150$, so I can use the rest to show Anna a good time, hopefully in more than one date. If the universe won't fuck me over twice this seek, she'll probably see past my fat fucking gut, and my receding hairline, and understand that I'm not as insufferable as I look."
Regarding the latter matter, he remembered, "I gotta take a shower today. Flies eat shit for a living, and yet I saw a couple of them die as soon as they got near my pits."
Jimmy made it back to his dorm, and took a shower. The stink on his flesh appeared to have been physical as well, because he almost clogged the drain in the shower, but eventually, he did scrub some of the misery off of his body. He looked half presentable now, and after he tried out some clean clothes, he even looked human!
Despite the universe working against him, he was actually ready for a date!
On another note, despite the fact that he had briefly forgotten about it, his problem regarding explosive erections, seemed to have vanished for the moment. He wasn't struggling with that problem anymore, and his focus slowly started returning.
Perhaps the shower did him well, or perhaps he just needed the dopamine boost that came with buying a new computer? He didn't know, and he didn't even think about it.
If his upcoming date went well, then perhaps Anna can take charge and manage his weaponized erections, so he could put this problem behind him all together! A man could only dream.
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