Translator’s Corner (A Pierrot and a Bartender)

Pierrot: Another failed interview. I mean seriously, what’s up with Clown! How will be paying rent now?

Bartender: Would you like a Moscow mule, in that case?

Pierrot: Because the world is so cold to us?

Bartender: It signifies opportunity. How did your friend fail the interview?

Pierrot: Decided to turn the interviewer’s tie into a balloon animal.

Bartender: As expected of a clown.

Pierrot: And the guy almost suffocated.

Bartender: …

Pierrot: Aren’t you going to say anything?

Bartender: The bartender tends the soul of the customer. Sometimes through silence.

Pierrot: Is that how you got the title Gl*ss of the Gods?

Bartender: Oh, you knew about that…

Pierrot: Who wouldn’t know… hey, want to hear a joke?

Bartender: Sure.

Pierrot: Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit beside this clown. The first cannibal wacks the clown on the head and they both start eating the clown. Suddenly the second cannibal looks up and says, “Hey, do you taste something funny?”

.

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Life in the Royal Capital Arc

Chapter 45 – Those Who Observe

Upon reading the report from the espionage division, the Dwarf King Gazelle Dwargo fell into deep consideration.

The division, whom he asked to monitor that peculiar slime, has reported facts he could not ignore.

A city built for monsters.

Were they joking? He thought so for a second, but the spies never told jokes.

They frankly delivered their report. And then, the unbelievable tale continued.

The orcs army had invaded.

The despondent state of the lizardmen.

The war ending due to the appearance of a mysterious army.

The army probably are the clansmen of the said slime.

Holding up the letter to a candle, he burned it.

And, closing his eyes, he tried to sort all the new information.

Currently, there were few casualties in the forest despite the rise in monsters’ activity.

It has increased slightly since when Veldora was there, but is still similar to last years’ statistics.

They had been expecting the number to double, at least.

So, someone is enforcing the order in the forest. Chances are, that someone has something to do with that slime.

And the orcs stopped their invasion.

Had they, for example, rushed into dwarfs’ cities an insane number of people would have been killed.

It would be foolish to expect that the orcs would not have attacked the dwarfs. But he can’t just praise good luck and forget about the whole incident.

He must urgently meet the ones responsible. So the king quickly decided.

He definitely wanted to avoid making an enemy of them. Rather, he’d be happy if they could cooperate in the future.

Perhaps the should carefully start negotiating with them while ignoring the deportation incident.

Or… perhaps they should resort to a more reliable method.

Having made his decision, the King began to move.

＊　＊　＊

The four demon lords decided against independent action concerning the forest.

There was no problem in this regard.

However, they immediately started bickering when it came to who will monitor the situation.

With an appearance of a little girl, the Demon Lord Milim Nava had these thoughts. “If I leave it to these blockheads, they are bound to mess it all up!”

After all, she saw them as little but muscle-for-brain idiots.

Certainly this was just the time for the cool and wise Milim to take the stage!

The fact that she had thrown a table at Gelmudo moments prior completely escaped her.

In fact, the girl herself was one of those muscle-for-brain idiots.

Moreover,

She was the most short-tempered and simple among them; what the rest would consider common sense was completely lost on her.

The Harpy Queen and one of the Demon Lords Frey was bored.

Milim will just go on a rampage again, so sending her is out of the question. Because the clean up would be a pain.

However, Frey could not work against her. Though they were both Demon Lords, there was a clear difference in power.

Frey’s kind are called the rulers of the skies, and she herself is known as the Sky Queen.

It would be preposterous for her to lose against those who can’t fly.

Their special ability 『Magic Jamming』 can cancel out 〈Flight Magic〉spells. So those who cannot fly normally would fall to their death.

And although demon lords would probably survive even if they fell from high in the sky, they would be unable to land a single hit on her.

Those who can’t fly can’t threaten her.

However, Milim Nava doesn’t fit in this category.

The girl is a Dragonoid. And the strongest queen. Her nickname – “Destroyer” is not just for show.

She doesn’t use magic when flying.

Rather, she uses her own wings. Nor does she depend on magic during combat. So Frey would be at complete disadvantage.

Truly her natural enemy.

So Frey was basically forced to go along with Milim’s wishes.

She merely hoped to be able to continue this passiveness for the rest of the conference.

Hopefully all will end peacefully…

She thought, and let out a sigh.

Lycanthrope’s “Lion King” Karion felt pretty good.

He had attended the conference to kill some time, but was able to see something interesting as a result.

I have to make those oni into my subordinates. He thought.

Harpy Queen Frey was probably not interested.

She probably just went along with Milim’s wishes. As for Milim, she might be a short-tempered simpleton, but she is by no means stupid.

Expecting the disagreement to devolve into a vote, Karion brought friends who would support him.

What an impudent woman! He thought, looking at Milim.

What a narcissistic face she makes!

In the first place, who would have expected someone like Gelmudo to be able to stir four demon lords into motion.

That thought was brought up by the ghastly Demon Lord Clayman.

Gelmudo was his protege, and, upon receiving this request, immediately went to Clayman to seek advice.

Whatever you may think of him, Gelmudo was the type of person who would hide his true intentions behinds the language of a polite gentleman.

Now, Clayman and Milim, which was a more formidable foe…?

Battle strength wise, Milim hands down.

Karion probably couldn’t defeat her by himself. The very thought angered him, but fighting her without analyzing her battle abilities ahead of time would most likely lead to a defeat.

On the other hand, if he properly prepared, he would certainly be her equal. No, maybe a bit better.

Clayman is probably weaker than the rest.

However!

This case is all about ingenuity. In other words, the easy to deceive Milim is out of the game.

Frey, being Milim’s follower, is also out!

So the real foe is Clayman. That Karion was sure of.

So how should he proceed?

Karion was deep in though planning his next step.

Clayman wore a gentleman’s smile while observing the other three demon lords.

The one who introduced Gelmudo to the other demon lords was none other than him.

He also pulled some strings to get this all arranged.

Gelmudo had planned to get the demon lord’s attention by presenting his magic items and armors, but that was bound to fail.

So Clayman had to arrange the meeting.

And he specifically called two demon lord simpletons here,

Fully expecting that the Harpy Queen Frey would also be brought along. Though Frey is careful and cunning, she seems to be uninterested in this incident.

So everything went according to plan.

Two demon lords who specialize in combat.

No matter how hard they think, they are simply not that bright.

Clayman can easily stall them.

Guiding the conversation the whole time, he even tried to get them on the topic of avenging Gelmudo.

With that thought, he had thought to say…

「Hey, just a thought, but how about we send our subordinates, one each?

That way, I can also send one of my daughters?」

Frey declared with a somber expression.

The other three immediately stiffened.

“While I could reject the offer, I would not be able to substantiate the refusal.”

The three thought.

They would just have to accept it.

And after checking the other’s expression, they nodded.

「Fu, fuhaha! I had just been planning to say the same myself!」

「How strange, I as well!」

「What to do if you took the words right out of my mouth… so it’s decided?」

And thus, although each demon lord had intended differently, they decided to sent a subordinate there.

In reality, they intended to…

Soon, Rimuru’s village would be visited by three demons.

＊　＊　＊

Three adventurers were walking in the woods.

Cabal, Elen, and Gido.

They came to the forest on a subjugation request.

And, by the request of their Guild Master, they also were to visit Rimuru’s city.

To the adventurers, that city was heaven. And the yakiniku was delicious!

But by the time they returned, the village greatly changed and expanded.

Now, they could even have their equipment services and had a guest house prepared for them.

As presents, they brought spices and salt for the seasoning. Not for their sake, of course!

Patrolling the city is a hobgoblin-wolf combo; thanks to their speed they have been ensuring the safety of the area.

It’s thanks to this city that the forest has gotten so much safer.

Moreover! You can get various rare ingredients from them for free!

Get this,

Parts of Poisonous Snake and Horned Deer! On a good day, you can even get the horn of an armorsaurus.

They could even use these to claim to have finished the guild’s subjugation requests.

It is, of course, cheating, but that’s only if you get caught.

Well, unfortunately, the Brumund’s Free Guild’s master Fuze, with whom they are affiliated, is already suspecting them.

So they can’t just suddenly bring back such trophies. Greed would only lead to their demise, so they decided to act with prudence.

And so,

They are once again going on a subjugation request in the forest! Merrily walking to Rimuru’s city.

「But damn! The food is getting better and better!

Isn’t Shuna-chan as good as the cooks in the royal capital?」

「Yeah! I’m usually a bit picky about food, but everything’s great there!」

「Listen up, guys. We aren’t going there to eat, you know!

We actually have a legitimate reason to go there this time, remember?」

「That’s a stupid question!」

「Yeah! It’s been two months since we last visited… plenty of time has passed!」

「Yes. It’s been a while. But… have they finished the “Baths”?

I can’t wait!」

「The Royal Capital also has those! I’d love to go to them someday!」

「The “World Travelers” have been demanding them for a long time, right?

I can see it becoming a habit though…」

「Right? So looking forward to it! But anyways…

Do you know, Gido. There is a wonderful system called “mix bathing” in this world.

Last time, Rimuru-danna passionately spoke about it.

“I’ll make sure this city has it!” Rimiru-danna exlaimed.

Do you get it, Gido!

We have finally reached the promised land (where we can possibly enter the baths together with Shuna-sama and Shion-san)!」

「Wh-what did you say…!!!」

「… Hey, I don’t mind you guys having fun by yourselves over there, but you’re getting left behind.」

Thus they continued on. Aiming towards a yet unseen paradise!

And, during their journey, they would meet someone completely unexpected.

＊　＊　＊

The Land of Farmas Kingdom’s Count.

Bordering the Jura Forest, it considered the forest in its sphere of influence.

Patrolling the nearby villages was the count’s frontier garrison.

They were appointed by Count Nidole Maigam himself, and established plenty of routes to quickly get to villages during an emergency.

Their Captain’s name is Youmu.

Quick witted and tough, he has a toned body, darkened by the sun.

Neither tall, nor short.

He looked as if he never let his guard down. By no means ugly; rather, he has a pretty good face.

There are thirty people in their organization, but it has three captains.

Their fighting force is always separated into three groups, with one resting at base. So that in case of an emergency, they can move as soon as they hear of it.

Thus, although they have searched for an appropriate location for their base, none of the villages fit their needs.

Every one of them was built near the forest, creating a large distance between them.

Thus, even the closest village, on horseback with provision, was a day’s worth away; for the further ones, you’d need to prepare a carriage.

The Count’s city is by far the most separated and is a poor place for their base.

Moreover, the lifestyle in the villages could hardly be called pleasant, so the garrison didn’t get the treatment they had wanted.

That led to growing discontent among his subordinates.

They have not received a large sum of war funds, and even if they had, they wouldn’t be able to buy anything worth of note.

After all, they had to spend most of it just purchasing weapons and armors.

What had kept the soldiers away from mutiny was the fact that the villagers were truly thankful.

To ruffians and drunkards that the soldiers were, the villagers offered heartfelt hospitality.

The villagers understood that they were there to protect them against monsters which was true, and considering how honestly they were thanked every time, the soldiers decided to work hard for the villagers sake.

Also, because the monsters hadn’t attacked as often as the Count had thought, there were no casualties among the garrison.

Not just deaths–there were no heavily injured among them either.

More bitter grass soup today… thinking thus, Youmu brought his troops into the forest.

Not wide enough for a carriage, but a horse could traverse through it.

The small twigs coming at them could easily be deflected with magic.

If they had to take a carriage along, they’d have to go down the mountain highway route. That detour would cost them many days.

Hence the problem previously described.

At that time, they ran into a group of people walking in the forest.

Adventurers from head to toe. Did they come on a subjugation request? He thought.

News from here sometimes reaches the cities and requests are not uncommon.

While some adventurers are sent on behalf of the Ghost Researchers, who are attempting to learn thought transmission, if there was an actual subjugation request it would have been announced at every nearby city.

That is, to prevent multiple groups from fulfilling the same request.

If they were aiming for a Giant Bear, then unfortunately the soldiers have already killed it.

From how they look, they seem rather capable.

Perhaps it would be smart to make acquaintance. With that thought, he called out,

「Hey! You guys. What are you doing out here?

If you came for a giant bear, you’ve wasted your time, you know!」

And when he did,

「Ah, no. Well, I guess subjugating a monster is one of the reasons?」

「Danna, what are you saying? Our objective is subjugation, isn’t it?」

「Right! The official story! … crap!」

They were too careless.

Youmu listened to their exchange while surrounding them with troops.

Were they foreign spies? While he had no duty to capture them, he’d be troubled if they caused trouble.

Why would they be here if not on a request? He thought,

「I repeat, what are you doing here? Answer me!

If you don’t, you might lose your lives!」

He didn’t plan to kill them, but needed to intimidate them a bit.

Their exchange abruptly ended, and,

「The thing is, we are heading to a city…」

Their representative (?), a large man answered.

There is no city further in.

No doubt about it, they are suspicious… should I hand them over to the count? But I really hate that guy. What to do…?

「No, really! A kind monster…」

「Hey! What are you doing revealing this!」

「Don’t look at me! If they tell you: “don’t come again,” we’ll go on without you, you know?」

They are too suspicious to ignore.

While looking at three bickering, Youmu decided.

He had to confirm their words.

「Where are you adventurers from? Answer!

Don’t attempt to hide it.

These are the lands of Farmas Kingdom’s Count, under the protection of the frontier garrison. I am their captain, Youmu!」

The three exchanged glanced and seem to have given up.

While apprehending spies was not part of his duties, it was something he could do.

He couldn’t leave them alone, after all.

The countries have agreed on not employing spies. However, whether any country has actually kept that promise is a different story.

Who knows what country they’ve come from, but only an idiot spy would pretend to be an adventurer.

Spies would normally take their lives if cornered, but these guys don’t seem to plan on it.

Are they really adventurers? When he thought that,

「No, honestly! But, it’s a monster’s city…

You wouldn’t believe that if we had told you, would you?」

「Besides, we don’t want to cause trouble for Rimuru-san…」

「I’m not involved in this. The one who spilled the beans is you, Danna.

What would we do if we were banished from there?」

And again they began fighting.

Amazed, Youmu thought: could they perhaps not be lying?

If so, he had to check it out!

After restraining the three and throwing them on a horse, he had them show the way.

To a city yet unseen.

And a monster who would play a large role in their lives.

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