Switch: Alien Invasion/Violence&S*x

Chapter 112: The cost of trust


Ha! I think. I know she doesn't, else why would she be so adamant about what I'm allowed to do around this other woman?

"I don't know," I tell her uncertainly. It isn't that I'm averse to the thought of fucking this beautiful golden blonde-haired woman, just that I really don't want to hurt Stephanie, who has done nothing but care for me.

Mary isn't about to give up, though. "You know she loves you, right?" The words delivered so matter-of-factly seem to come out of nowhere.

Of course, I suspect that she might care for me more than just a little, but the 'L' word is a bit strong. Isn't it? Thinking back to when she'd taken care of me, after I'd been so exhausted from Vage, and everything else since then, I can see how what Mary says might be true. Then I remember Stephanie actually saying the words to me, and almost saying them once before.

"How do you know this?" I ask. "Did she tell you?"

Mary looks down at her feet while she fidgets before answering. "Well, no, but you can tell by the way she lights up when you're around her. She actually DIMS when you leave. I swear it. If that isn't love, then I don't know what is."

"And you want me to use that love, so that she'll allow me into your pants, is that it?" I can't quite keep the disgust from entering my voice. If I'm not going to use my switches to manipulate Stephanie, why would I use her love? Of course, Mary doesn't know about my switches.

"You don't have to make it sound like a bad thing," she admonishes me, looking me fiercely in the eyes again.

"I saw how you looked at me the other morning. You want it, too. Please don't lie to me. We wouldn't be hurting her; we'd be helping her. She is my friend now, too, remember. I don't want to hurt her, but why can't me and you also be together as well?"

She takes a step closer to me and places her hand on my chest. Her perfume fills my nostrils, and I can't stop myself from breathing in deeply.

Why indeed? She sounds so convincing that I almost want to believe her. Stephanie loves me, and as long as she is still with me, what would it hurt to help her and Mary grow closer? The added benefit of slipping into this gorgeous woman is not exactly a high price to pay.

Almost.

"Thanks," I tell her, trying to be delicate for her sake, "but no thanks." It will not do to piss off Stephanie's girlfriend and end up with Mary as an enemy. That is a sure-fire way to lose Stephanie.

"I will wait for her to change her mind on her own. Do not get me wrong, I would love to lie with you and find out just how good you are, but I can wait. I will not hurt Stephanie, and I will not manipulate her either."

Good, I think. That should work.

I am wrong.

"How good I am? You can wait? Who do you think you are, God's gift to women?" she snaps. She is yelling now, and despite how secluded the corner is, people are starting to stare.

"Just because you have a monster cock and know how to use it does not mean every woman is going to come crawling to you," Mary snaps out angrily.

I have no idea what just happened. She spins on her heel and storms off before I can think of anything to say. A small crowd has gathered during Mary's outburst, snickering behind their hands. A few women even give my crotch an appreciative glance.

My face burning red, I flee the scene.

I decide I had better do some quick damage control and call Stephanie, but she does not answer. I leave her a message, asking her to call me back as soon as possible.

I reach out with my senses and locate her switch, already moving in her direction. I will be late for my next class, but this matters more. Maybe talking face-to-face will help. Hopefully, I am in luck, because her happy switch is flipping on.

Before I am even halfway there, my phone rings.

"I just got off the phone with Mary," Stephanie says immediately.

Dammit. I am too late. But why does she sound happy?

"And I saw that I missed a call from you."

"What did she tell you?" I ask, bracing myself. I am afraid Mary spun some story about me coming on to her. I never know what an angry woman might do. Honestly, I never know what any woman might do. Video game heroines have taught me that revenge can get extreme. Not exactly a perfect comparison, but it is all I have.

It takes a moment for Stephanie's following words to sink in.

"She told me she tried to come on to you," Stephanie says, "and that you turned her down because you care about me too much."

There is a trace of excitement in her voice, and I struggle to reconcile that with what I expected.

"She said you are completely worthy of my trust, and that I should not hold back with you anymore. Is that true?"

"Uh, yeah," I answer dumbly, still trying to switch mental gears.

Yes. That is precisely what happened.

"I am sorry you cannot trust her," I add weakly. "I really hoped the two of you could be friends."

Stephanie laughs softly. I usually love that sound, but now a pit forms in my stomach as the pieces click together.

"You were testing me," I say flatly.

I already know it is true, and anger flares. I have gone out of my way not to manipulate people, even though it would be so easy with my switches, and now she has done it to me.

"Please do not be mad," she pleads, and I feel her happiness switch dip as my anger rises. "I just needed to know I could trust you. And now I do."

"And if we are together five years from now, are you going to test me again?" I shoot back. I do not wait for an answer before following with, "Trust is earned, not tested. I trusted you, even when you did not want us to be official."

I know I am being unfair. I have been sleeping around, and she does not really deserve this anger. But I hate being manipulated. The irony is not lost on me. The demons, my children with Vage, and even the other female aliens, all crash down at once.

"With all this lack of trust," I say, "how do I know I can trust you?"

The moment the words leave my mouth, I know I have made a mistake. But I cannot take them back.

One word echoes in my mind. Manipulated.

And I start laughing.

All my efforts to avoid manipulating others, and here I am on the receiving end. Maybe this is karma for what I did to Tina, Nancy, and Professor Jane. The irony is almost funny.

Still laughing, I hang up.

For a moment, I debate walking toward her or away. Then I decide and start moving, ignoring my phone as it vibrates insistently.

Stephanie sees me coming. Her eyes are red. She has been crying. Her dyed red hair still catches me off guard, and I wonder if she will ever go back to her natural color. Guilt twists in my gut, but I know I am about to cause her more pain.

She throws her arms around me and sobs into my shoulder.

"I am so sorry, Nick," she cries. "I did not think you would be upset. It was stupid. I should not have done it. Please forgive me."

My stomach sinks, but I cannot stop now.

I gently push her back, my hands on her shoulders.

"No, Stephanie," I say quietly. "You did the right thing."

Hope flares in her eyes, and I hate myself for what I am about to do. Maybe the demons will kill me, I think. Perhaps that would be easier for her.

"I have something to confess to you," I pause and drag in a breath before continuing.

"I have not been faithful to you," I confess.

The hurt appears in her eyes instantly, but I force myself to continue.

"You did not want us to be official. So we were not."

"But I love you," she whispers, right before she slaps me.

I know I deserve it. Still, it stings.

"There is more," I say, deciding to tell her everything.

"No," she sobs. "I do not want to hear it."

She turns to run, but I stop her. I need her to understand. She is the one person I can be completely myself with, the one I do not have to hide my love of anime, science fiction, or video games from. Honestly, she is probably better at them than I am.

And that only makes this hurt more.

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