The same 5:30 am alarm was a mercy this time. I'd been awake since four, staring at the ceiling of my flat, my mind a tangled mess of formations, pressing triggers, and what-ifs that wouldn't stop spinning.
Saturday. Match day. The final test. Ninety minutes against Inter Milan's U18s. Not a sixty-minute kickabout, not a friendly where the result didn't matter and everyone went home happy.
This was a proper match, a full ninety minutes, the last chance for Eberechi Eze and Antoine Semenyo to prove they belonged here, to prove that the last three weeks of relentless work, of early mornings and late nights, of one-on-one sessions and tactical drills, hadn't been a waste of time.
The last chance for me to prove that I wasn't just some lucky kid who'd stumbled into a job he didn't deserve, that the Millwall win hadn't been a fluke, that I could actually do this.
I rolled out of bed, the familiar ache in my muscles a dull throb that I'd learned to live with over the last three weeks. The 6k run was a blur of nervous energy, my feet pounding the pavement in a frantic rhythm that matched the beat of my heart, the cold morning air burning my lungs as I pushed myself harder than usual.
I finished in 32:18, a new personal best, but I barely noticed. My mind was already at Copers Cope, on the touchline, watching, waiting, hoping. The streets of South London were empty at this hour, just me and the occasional delivery van, the city still asleep, unaware of the battle that was about to unfold on a youth football pitch in Beckenham.
[SYSTEM] Fitness: 51/100. Cardiovascular Endurance: 48/100. Mental Fatigue: Low. Adrenaline levels: High. Recommendation: Focus on tactical execution, not emotional management.
Back in my flat, I stood on the balcony, the hot coffee scalding my tongue, the London skyline a hazy silhouette in the pre-dawn light, the Thames a dark ribbon winding through the city. Two players. Two futures. Both in my hands.
The weight of that responsibility was crushing. Eze, the prodigal talent, cast aside four times by clubs who couldn't see past his slight frame, a diamond in the rough who just needed polishing, who just needed someone to believe in him.
Semenyo, the raw, untamed force of nature, a fifteen-year-old kid with the weight of the world on his narrow shoulders, two years younger than everyone else on the pitch, a boy trying to do a man's job. His eight-week trial was up after today. This was it. His last chance.
If he didn't impress today, he'd be gone, back to wherever he came from, and Bristol City would swoop in and take him, and I'd have failed him. My phone buzzed, the vibration a jarring intrusion into my spiraling thoughts.
A text from Emma. 'You've got this. They've got this. Trust. x'. I smiled, the simple words a lifeline in the swirling chaos of my thoughts, a reminder that I wasn't alone in this. I typed back, 'I'll try. x', and took another sip of coffee, the bitterness a welcome distraction.
By the time I arrived at Copers Cope at 8 am, the place was already a hive of activity, the training ground buzzing with a pre-match energy that was both exhilarating and terrifying.
Sarah was in the analysis room, a fresh pot of coffee brewing, her laptop open to a video of Inter's last match, her eyes glued to the screen, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she made notes.
"Morning, boss," she said, not looking up, her voice a low murmur of concentration. "They're disciplined. They don't give anything away cheaply. Their back four is a wall. We'll need to be patient, to move the ball quickly, to find the spaces between their lines. Eze will be key. If he can find those pockets, we'll create chances." I nodded, pouring myself a cup of coffee, the familiar ritual a small comfort.
"And Semenyo?" I asked. She looked up, her eyes meeting mine. "He needs to stay wide, to stretch their defense, to make those runs we've been working on. If he can do that, we'll have space for Eze to operate."
Rebecca was in the physio room, checking on the players, her calm presence a soothing balm on the pre-match nerves, her hands moving with practiced efficiency as she taped ankles and checked hamstrings.
Michael was with Ryan, going over his distribution, a quiet word here, a reassuring nod there, the two of them a picture of calm focus in the midst of the chaos.
Gary arrived early, his face a mask of inscrutable calm, his presence a reminder that this wasn't just a match, it was a test, a judgment. "Big match today, Danny," he said, his voice low and measured. I nodded, my throat suddenly dry, my hands clammy with sweat.
"We're ready," I said, trying to inject a confidence into my voice that I didn't entirely feel.
He looked at me, his eyes searching mine, looking for something, some sign that I was up to the task. "I hope so," he said finally. "I'll be watching closely. Both of them. And you." He walked away, leaving me standing there, the weight of his words a physical thing pressing down on my shoulders.
The Inter Milan U18s arrived at 11 am, and they were everything you'd expect from one of the biggest clubs in the world. They stepped off the coach in matching club tracksuits, a sea of blue and black, looking like they'd just stepped out of a fashion catalogue. Nya, who was standing next to me, let out a low whistle.
"They even look expensive," he whispered. I had to agree. Their faces were a mixture of teenage swagger and professional focus, the kind of confidence that comes from knowing you're part of something bigger than yourself, and probably also from wearing a tracksuit that cost more than my first car.
They were organized, disciplined, and intimidating, a well-oiled machine that moved with a precision that was both impressive and unnerving. I watched them warm up, a symphony of coordinated movement, passing drills that were executed with a crispness that spoke of hours of practice, and I saw what Sarah meant.
There were no standout individuals, no flashy tricks, no players who demanded your attention with their skill or the system pointing them out. Just a cohesive unit, a team that knew their jobs and did them well.
There was no one here for me to poach, no hidden gem to unearth. This was a different kind of test. This was about us, about whether we could break down a team that didn't make mistakes, that didn't give you anything for free.
In our changing room, the atmosphere was a mixture of excitement and nervous tension. Nya was practically vibrating. "Do you think they know Zanetti?" he asked anyone who would listen.
Reece, ever the captain, just rolled his eyes. "They're eighteen, Nya. They probably think Zanetti is a type of pasta."
The air was thick with the smell of liniment and shattered dreams of getting a signed shirt. I named the starting XI. Both Eze and Semenyo were in.
There was no other way. This was their test. I looked at them, at the faces of the young men who had given me everything for the last three weeks, who had trusted me when they had no reason to.
Reece, our captain, put on his face a mask of calm determination. Nya, bouncing on his toes, his energy a palpable force. Connor, his jaw set, his eyes focused. Ryan, in goal, his face pale but resolute.
And Eze and Semenyo, sitting side by side, their faces a mixture of fear and hope.
***
Thank you to nameyelus for the gifts.
If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.