Treatise Of A Failed Knight

Chapter 192: Morality Is Useless


"All done…"

After a little over a minute of struggle, I finally strip the nearly paralyzed Ciel of all the Armaments she has on.

She is naked without them, but I do not care.

I am naked as well.

At some point, I got the inspiration to eat a portion of her body to relieve the growing pain from the poison.

Since I have nothing to lose, I rip out a portion of her hair and ingest it.

What do you know… It actually works!

It's a far cry from an antidote, but my body certainly feels a lot better, and I am confident about lasting at least a couple of hours before the pain returns.

'I can return to Lumian town and prepare a proper antidote within that time.'

It will be hard to detoxify the poison caused by a Cadre 6 Magivore, but if I harvest its organs and use it as a core, I can at least try.

If I don't succeed, I'll keep eating Ciel or even use her as a base for an antidote.

Whatever it takes!

I refuse to die in this Sanctuary, not after all I have been through and all I intend to do once I leave this place.

"Haa… haaa…"

Ciel's powerless breathing echoes softly in the field, and she watches me solemnly as she suffers excruciating pain.

I sit a few meters from her, watching her pointlessly cling to life.

Something stirs within me.

A sadness.

It's difficult to explain, and throughout the fight, I kept ignoring it. But the emotion keeps coming back.

I sigh.

"You aren't even going to explain yourself?"

"...."

"We spent three days together, Ciel! That was enough time to tell what kind of person I was, and yet you chose to label me a monster and scheme against me." I find myself seething as I speak, my emotions rising beyond control while I am absorbed by her dull purple eyes.

She remains silent still.

"I truly loved you. I appreciated and respected your culture. I empathized with your past. I cared for your future. I… gosh, I really cared about you! What did I do to deserve this? What did all those children do to bring about their deaths? The people of Lumian Town? I know not everyone is completely blameless… but why? Why couldn't you have talked it out first? Why did you choose the most extreme option and cause all of this chaos?"

"...."

"I know you can still speak, so why aren't you saying anything?" I yell, my voice echoing within the vast field.

Getting worked up will only tire me out and increase the spread of poison.

But I don't care.

Not at this moment!

All I want are answers, but Ciel is intent on not giving me any.

"Y-you…"

"I wasn't pretending…" A small whisper leaves her lips.

Her pale face turns slightly red, and her eyes grow moist. However, this only appears for a moment before they are dismissed like mere figments of imagination.

I stare at this, dazed, but quickly shake my head.

"You think you can trick me again? I won't fall for your schemes again!"

"It's not a scheme. What's there to do again? You won, I lost. There's no need for us to say anything to each other any longer, which is why I was content in being quiet."

"Ah…"

"If you think I'm going to beg for my life, you have something else coming. I do not regret my actions, and if I were to return to the past, the only thing I would change is my approach in dealing with you. It doesn't matter if you had good intentions or not. I was right about you in the end. You are dangerous, Javier… too dangerous to be allowed to live after seeing this place."

"I wasn't ever going to harm your Sanctuary!"

"How could I be so certain?" She yells back at me, this time her emotions flaring. "You were so certain that I wouldn't betray you, right? Yet I ended up stabbing you in the back! What if it were the other way around? How could I truly know? I am only a Seeker… not a mind reader. I can only see ahead day at a time… nothing more, nothing less. Even if you are fine now, are you certain you wouldn't change once you have enough authority and leverage?"

"I wouldn't have harmed you or your people…"

"Really? Even if your beloved Kingdom were to be in ruins and the only way to protect it were our Magivores and Special Resources?"

"...."

"Your friends, your family… What if they truly needed a Potion and you could only find it here? What if I had told you all of our secrets and you required a part of the Crimson Direwolf Emperor to make a Potion that would allow you to safely pass Apotheosis? You said it yourself… You are not like me, Javier! You are a selfish man, and all you need is the right motivation for you to turn back on your previously held ideals."

I wish to refute her.

After all, I truly had no bad intentions for her or the Sanctuary.

But, after considering her words carefully, I can't help but find some truth in what she is saying.

I was a chivalrous Knight in the past.

Even in my new life, I spent a long time stopping the slave trades and illegal enterprises. I helped to dismantle a lot of the Dark Guild activities in the Randalorion Kingdom.

But—

'The moment it served me, I let all my moral considerations go and allied myself with a cause I swore to destroy. I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do for myself because it offered the most benefits… but what is really right or wrong?' I sigh, staring at Ciel with a calm gaze.

We are Leviathans.

Such a thing as morality is useless.

All that matters are our ideals—the will which we carry and how we seek to enforce it.

Ciel wishes to protect her people, and she is willing to slaughter thousands to achieve her objective. She eliminated everyone in Lumian Town, and even hundreds of children.

All to protect her people, who are numbered over two hundred thousand.

In her mind… she did the right thing.

It's why she feels no remorse.

No regrets.

If I also had to kill everyone in the Vey'lithar Sanctuary to gather enough resources to return to the past and save my family… would I do something so atrocious?

Right now, I don't think I could go through with it.

But—

'Will that be the same later down the line?'

What if I have exhausted all other methods, and the only available alternative that presents itself is the sacrifice of these people?

Think about it.

I'm a Dark Guild manager.

I have also begun collaborating with the managers of other branches to link our channels for better business.

That means I am already complicit in most illegal activities that go on in the Kingdom, as well as in other Kingdoms. That includes the same slave trade and underground fighting arenas that I fought against in the past.

I have changed.

All of these are actions I took after careful consideration, and although my conscience weighs heavily on me to date, I don't regret any of my choices.

They have brought me even closer to my goals.

I know lives will be ruined because of my actions. I know the nature of my business and what will be lost if I continue.

But I chose this path.

I can't stop now.

"I understand you," I speak softly, my gaze resting on the stunned Ciel.

She appears surprised by my response.

"No, I think… I always understood you. I just felt this because you betrayed me. Even though the deaths of all those people and children vexed me, nothing hurt more than knowing you lied straight to my face and that you never trusted me from the start… especially when I trusted you."

"Javier…"

"I really am a piece of shit, aren't I?" A chuckle leaves my lips. "Even amidst the death of so many, I remain self-centered. This doesn't mean I don't care about all those lives that have been lost. But it is true that I am biased in my thoughts."

I know for a fact that if Ciel had killed Seth or Seraphina, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

She would already be dead.

The same applies to the likes of Klein, Leon, and Uncle Damon. Although I care about human lives and I believe they are equal in value, some are more equal than others.

At least, to me.

"This might make me a hypocrite, but just because I understand your actions doesn't mean I forgive you. You made yourself my enemy and even tried to kill me. You attacked those I care about. You nearly succeeded, too."

"Indeed…" Ciel smiles bitterly. "Too many surprising things happened, and I had to keep changing my plans. You must have a guardian angel watching over you."

"Perhaps…"

"To be honest, Javier… I do feel bad about killing so many people. I am also someone with feelings. Before then, I had never hurt a single person. But it had to be done, and although I spent a lot of time in agonizing contemplation, I committed to my actions. I bear full responsibility for that. My gamble failed in the end, and you emerged victorious. As the aggrieved party, you are free to do whatever you like."

Ciel closes her eyes and smiles, letting out a sigh of defeat.

Her body is paralyzed.

She couldn't attack me even if she tried.

Plus, I am with her Armaments she stole, and although I am also severely weakened, I still have Golden Dawn with me.

The advantage is with me.

While I still feel the urge to exercise caution, even disregarding the current circumstances, I can't help but feel her sincerity.

Ciel… she isn't a bad person.

She fought for her people the same way I fought for mine.

I only caught a glimpse of the history of the Vey'lithars, and I can understand why she wouldn't be able to trust anyone.

Especially not someone they just met three days ago.

"You were right…" I let out with a grim tone.

"As much as it pains me to admit it, you were right about the hidden intentions of the Excursion. The Royal Family sent some Royal Knights hidden among the other guards so they could scout for your Sanctuary."

Ciel's expression doesn't change.

She must have known all along, so why didn't she say anything?

Was she trying to spare my feelings?

'Even now, she—'

Before I can conclude my thoughts, I notice something rather peculiar in the distance.

It takes me some time to comprehend what is happening, especially due to the sheer scale of the movement, but I finally grasp it.

"Looks like we're having some company…"

A broad smile forms on my face.

Ciel hurriedly opens her eyes, and it sparkles for a moment before she yells in outright frustration and hidden fear.

"Those fools! I told them to remain hidden until you leave!" Her voice shakes, filled with all kinds of emotion. "Why? Why are they coming here?!"

Then, she looks at me in a panic.

"Please, Javier… they had nothing to do with this. It was all me! My plan! They weren't involved, so spare them at least!"

My grin turns wider.

I cast my gaze to the distance once again and witness over two hundred thousand Vey'lithars running towards us.

'They must have seen their leader about to be killed and hurried back as soon as possible.' I narrow my eyes as I observe the sight.

But to what end?

Why expose themselves like this?

I could easily kill Ciel before they even reach me. If they were smart, they would be more crafty and attack me to save their Chief.

I can't comprehend their actions at all.

"I know what you are thinking, Javier… but it's not like that. Those children, they don't have the capacity to conceive schemes or harm others. They aren't coming with the intention to fight. See? They aren't even riding any Magivores…"

Oh, yes.

Now that Ciel mentions it, they are coming at me bare, without weapons or steeds.

What exactly is their intention?

"Do they want to plead for your life?"

Ciel scoffs at the notion and shakes her head.

"My people have suffered all kinds of humiliations in the past. We have grown to become quite prideful, and we will never again bow to our aggressors. They aren't here to fight or beg… but to die alongside me."

Ciel can see the future, and she knows these people well, so I have to put some extra weight on her words.

However, that feels hard to believe.

Over two hundred thousand people… wishing to simply die for their Chief?

That feels absurd!

I will just have to see it for myself.

Nearly an hour later, the group finally reaches shouting distance, and they don't waste any time before screaming out their intentions.

The volume of their voices and the sheer intensity of it shocks me.

All of them say the same thing.

"Javier Aditi! If you kill Ciel… you must kill all of us as well!"

[A/N: What is your verdict? Does Ciel deserve death? What would you do?]

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