Chapter 189: Chapter 189: He Is a Hero

Reaching the door, Lu Jingyu stopped in his tracks. He leaned directly against the wall and ceased all movement.

He had come to discuss official business with Shen Yan. However, hearing that there seemed to be a guest inside, he decided to wait. Once Shen Yan’s matters were resolved and the guest left, he would state his purpose.

Lu Jingyu calmly accepted this justification for standing there. At the same time, he pricked up his ears, casually listening to the sounds coming from the room.

"That wasn’t your fault. After all, you had already lost control and couldn’t govern your own actions."

Stepping into Shen Yan’s room, Xu Qingsui frowned and covered her nose, her expression turning solemn. He had clearly only just returned to his room, yet it was already shrouded in thick smoke. Cigarette butts littered the floor. Mixed with the pungent smell of smoke was the stench of alcohol, with several half-empty liquor bottles scattered randomly across the ground.

Upon returning to his room, Shen Yan had slumped directly into the sofa. He held a liquor bottle in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. Taking a drag with his left hand and a swig with his right, he looked utterly despondent. It was evident that the recent events had dealt him an exceptionally heavy blow.

Xu Qingsui waved her hand, dispersing the nearly tangible clouds of smoke before her, before she spoke.

Hearing Xu Qingsui’s words, Shen Yan’s movements noticeably faltered. A trace of struggle flashed in his eyes, but it only lasted a moment. He quickly reverted to his listless state, slouching unkempt and uncaring on the sofa.

"There aren’t that many excuses. The truth is that Chu Tian is gone. Just now, I personally handed his body over to his parents. Two white-haired parents weeping bitterly over their son..." As he spoke, Shen Yan’s eyes turned red. Xu Qingsui even saw tears welling up in them.

"Seeing how his parents looked, I didn’t know what to say. The only thing I could do was kneel before them..."

As he spoke, the cigarette and liquor bottle slipped from his hands. He buried his head directly between his arms. Xu Qingsui could clearly feel the agony in his heart, but she didn’t interrupt him. At a time like this, letting it out was a good thing.

"But the two of them actually pulled me up. They even turned around to comfort me. They said that their child, as the captain of the Survival Team, had died doing everything in his power during the riot. He had stood at his post until the bitter end, and he was a hero!"

Xu Qingsui drew a sharp breath of cold air. Even hearing the elders’ words secondhand made her heart ache, let alone Shen Yan, who had heard it directly from them.

SOB SOB SOB...

Shen Yan finally broke down crying, his hands forcefully pounding his own head.

"I didn’t know how to tell them! Their son didn’t die in the Mutant riot, but was killed by my mistake! I took his life!"

Outside the door, Lu Jingyu—who had been listening to Shen Yan’s description with a look of regret—suddenly widened his eyes.

When the incident occurred, he had been entirely focused on dealing with the Mutants. Later on, he had also entered a berserk state, so he hadn’t noticed many details. After it was over, he only knew that the captain of the 27th District’s Survival Team had sacrificed himself. He had never expected there to be such a hidden truth.

As someone who had also killed innocent people by mistake while in a berserk state, Lu Jingyu could understand Shen Yan’s feelings quite well. His eyes flickered for a few moments before he lowered his gaze, continuing to casually listen to the sounds from the room.

Seeing Shen Yan ruthlessly pounding on himself, a look of unbearable pity appeared in Xu Qingsui’s eyes. She hurriedly took a few steps forward and grabbed his hands.

"Don’t be like this. It was an accident. You didn’t want this either. No matter how Chu Tian lost his life, he sacrificed himself on the battlefield. Furthermore, even when he was gravely injured and his life was on the line, he was still worrying about the battle inside and worrying about your safety. Therefore, he truly is a hero."

Xu Qingsui pulled hard on Shen Yan’s hands, but in doing so, her own hand was bumped against Shen Yan’s head. Pain shot through her, but she didn’t make a sound. She simply continued to hold onto Shen Yan, doing whatever she could in her power.

Perhaps realizing that his actions could hurt Xu Qingsui, Shen Yan finally stopped hitting himself. He continued to clutch his head, shaking it as he said, "No, it’s not. I’ve mistakenly killed people in the past, but this is different!

"Chu Tian came to the 27th District specifically for me. He was managing the Survival Team on my behalf."

From the way Chu Tian had acted, Xu Qingsui could sense that there was quite a bit of history between him and Shen Yan. She didn’t speak, quietly listening to the connection between them.

"In truth, with Chu Tian’s abilities, he could have gone to a higher-level safe zone and secured a good position.

"But just because I accidentally helped him once when we were kids, he treated me as his closest friend. He even gave up better prospects to stay here with me, guarding the 27th District in my stead.

"If he had truly died at the hands of the Mutants, then I would be proud of him. I would feel that he had realized his greatest value for the safe zone.

"But now he’s dead by my hand—dead at the hands of the very friend he trusted the most. I really don’t know how to face him."

As he spoke, Shen Yan broke down in tears again. Xu Qingsui’s heart was pierced by his words. For a moment, she didn’t know how to comfort him, so she could only slowly rest her hand on his shoulder and pat him gently.

Feeling Xu Qingsui’s proximity, Shen Yan sobbed and leaned his head directly against her. Xu Qingsui froze for a moment, but ultimately didn’t push him away. Instead, she began to slowly stroke his hair.

After letting him cry for a while, Xu Qingsui finally spoke again. "I understand how you feel. Just hearing your description has left me breathless, so I can imagine how unbearably hard it is for you to endure. But...

"It has already happened. What will crying here change? Chu Tian still won’t come back to life.

"However, when he was on the brink of death, he was still worrying about you and caring about the laboratory. These are the things he cared about the most.

"Shouldn’t you continue to care about what he cared about, on his behalf? If you become completely despondent because of this, don’t you think you’ll render his sacrifice entirely meaningless?"

Xu Qingsui felt the man in her arms stiffen, and his sobbing gradually subsided. Gently patting Shen Yan’s head, she continued, "You’ve cried, and you’ve wallowed. It’s time to be strong. There are still many things outside that need your attention.

"The laboratory building is completely ruined. You still need to oversee the efforts to salvage as much experimental data as possible and minimize the lab’s losses.

"You need to get the 27th District back to normal operations as quickly as possible—and make it even better than before, so that Chu Tian can rest in peace knowing that."

The hands gripping Xu Qingsui’s waist suddenly tightened, and the crying completely stopped.

Seeing this, Xu Qingsui stroked the top of Shen Yan’s head and released her spiritual power into his body.

"Alright, get a good sleep. When you wake up tomorrow, this will all be in the past. Go on and do what you need to do!"

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