Chapter 184: Chapter 184: Even for Xie Jinbai, She Cannot Do It

They were all Cui Lingyao’s dowry maids.

The maids and their mistress had grown up together, sharing an extraordinary bond.

Three years ago, when Cui Lingyao was preparing to leave this world, she had returned their deeds of servitude one by one. She had also given each of them a dowry, hoping they would leave the Prince Mansion and live their own lives.

But now, three years later, Chunzhi and Xia Zhi were married, and Dongzhi and Qiu Zhi even had children of their own, yet not a single one of them had left.

They remained in the rear courtyard, waiting for Cui Lingyao to awaken.

Their relationship had long surpassed that of an ordinary mistress and her servants.

Dongzhi, who had both a son and a daughter, had her own insights on how a husband and wife should get along. Once she started talking, she couldn’t help but say, "I’ve noticed that whenever you mention the Prince these past two days, your expression is quite cold. Are you still resentful of how His Highness treated you three years ago? The Prince truly has you in his heart. He was just momentarily confused back then. You mustn’t hold it against him."

Cui Lingyao gently shook her head but said nothing.

Xia Zhi, who had personally witnessed Xie Jinbai publicly humiliate her mistress for Li Wanrong’s sake, chimed in, "The day you fell into the water, the Prince was nearly frantic with worry. He completely ignored Consort Li, who was still in the lake. He only had eyes for you."

"For these past three years, while you were unconscious, the Prince watched over you day and night. He never allowed anyone to get close. He even took you with him the few times he left the Capital City to go to war. Everyone in the Capital City has witnessed his devotion to you..."

"That’s true,"

Dongzhi added in a low, persuasive voice, "It wasn’t easy for you and the Prince to get to this point. Now that you’ve finally woken up, if you still harbor any resentment, it would be better to talk it out with him than to keep it bottled up. Otherwise, you’ll just grow distant from each other again."

Since they were joined in marriage, they should work together to make their lives happy and harmonious, not treat each other with cold indifference.

Even the most passionate feelings can’t withstand being treated coldly day after day.

Especially since their Prince was cold and proud by nature; he wasn’t a man who would easily bend or bow his head.

As her two personal maids took turns trying to persuade her, Cui Lingyao listened to every single word.

She gave a faint, bitter smile. "What’s between him and me... it’s not something that can be explained in a few words."

’If it were only resentment, things would be simple.’

She could have completely convinced herself not to mind everything that happened three years ago.

But now, what stood between them was her original ’mission’ for coming to this world, and the system that had exhausted its energy to revive her, falling into a deep slumber.

She did like Xie Jinbai.

A lot.

The affection he gave was so fervent; she believed that no woman under heaven could remain unmoved.

But for Cui Lingyao to forget her original purpose for the sake of one man, to give up on herself in another world, to ignore the system that had been with her for so many years... she truly couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t bring herself to stake her life and death, her honor and disgrace, her entire being, on a man’s love.

To stay in this world—a world without electricity, without internet, without equality, a world of rigid class divisions—all for one man.

Even if that man was Xie Jinbai.

She just couldn’t do it.

It was true that her heart had been moved.

It was also true that her resolve had wavered, that she had hesitated out of sentiment.

But in the end, she had solidified her determination to go home.

No one could understand how difficult it was for her to make this decision.

Before, she hadn’t dared to admit her feelings, precisely because she feared having to make such a choice.

But that man, heedless of everything, had pried open her heart’s defenses.

And now, he had put her in this impossible position.

’Fortunately, he has already relented and decided to take a concubine.’

A year and a half.

At most, a year and a half. As long as she could endure it, everything would be over.

Cui Lingyao slowly closed her eyes and said no more.

Dongzhi and Xia Zhi exchanged a look and shook their heads slightly, not daring to press her further.

...

Outside, a steady autumn rain fell from a gloomy, overcast sky.

In the afternoon, a letter arrived from the Duke Zhao Mansion.

The day before yesterday, her good friend had been summoned by His Majesty at the mansion. Chen Minrou knew the reason and was burning with anxiety. Then, she heard the news that Xie Jinbai had returned to the Capital City.

She had waited patiently for a day, but with no sign of Cui Lingyao, she sent a letter.

She said she wanted to visit the Prince Mansion to see her.

With the wind and rain raging outside, Cui Lingyao couldn’t possibly let her friend, who was just recovering from a serious illness, travel in such weather. She quickly sent a letter of apology.

She explained that she hadn’t gone to the palace at all, that she’d been too busy these past two days, had returned to her family home yesterday, and with the rain today, she had completely forgotten to send a message to let her know she was safe.

She also promised they would meet up for fun on a fine, sunny day.

But the rain ended up lasting for four or five days.

It came and went in fits and starts, never truly stopping.

As the incessant dampness lingered, the weather turned cold.

Winter had officially arrived.

Cui Lingyao was somewhat sensitive to the cold and, more importantly, didn’t want to step on the wet ground and dirty the hem of her dress, so she couldn’t be bothered to go out.

She spent her days cooped up in her room, reading all sorts of books.

Whenever she read something new and interesting, she would get excited and write a special letter to Chen Minrou to discuss it.

The two corresponded frequently, sometimes exchanging several letters in a single day.

This continued until the Prince Mansion’s steward came to her, holding a thick book of gift etiquette, to ask how the year-end gifts for the various households should be arranged.

The New Year’s visits and gifts for the major noble houses, the relatives in the Imperial Family, friendly court officials, and subordinate vassals all had to be arranged well in advance, according to the closeness of their relationships.

And of course, the gifts for the Empress and the other palace consorts could not be neglected.

No matter what their private relationships were like, as long as they hadn’t openly turned against each other, these superficial pleasantries had to be maintained.

In the past, Cui Lingyao had been the true mistress of the Prince Mansion for three years, managing all its internal and external affairs flawlessly.

Now, three years later, just looking at these things gave her a headache. "Just do whatever was done during the years I was in a coma. Follow the old way."

’Just follow the old precedent.’

’Can’t go too wrong with that.’

The old steward agreed, then added, "Over these three years, this old servant has meticulously organized the mansion’s accounts. If you would take a look..."

Three years of accounts.

Given Xie Jinbai’s family fortune, the account books would fill at least a large basket.

Cui Lingyao’s head throbbed even more.

’But with her position came responsibility; there was no excuse to be lazy.’

She sighed softly. "Bring them here."

’I have nowhere to go anyway. It’s good to have something to do.’

Since she hadn’t moved back to her own courtyard yet, she had the Warm Pavilion in the side hall cleared out to serve as a temporary study.

That evening, Xie Jinbai returned under the cover of night.

When he saw that the main building wasn’t lit with its familiar warm, yellow glow, the air around him instantly grew tense.

Dongzhi, who hurried forward to greet him, quickly said, "The Princess Consort is in the Warm Pavilion."

Xie Jinbai changed direction, leaving behind a single command: "Light the lamps."

And with that, he headed toward the Warm Pavilion.

The door was ajar, and the room within was brightly lit by candles.

Xie Jinbai’s expression softened slightly as he pushed the door open and entered.

Inside, a young woman in a goose-yellow dress was sitting upright in a chair.

On the desk before her sat a thick stack of account books. She didn’t even look up, completely focused on auditing them.

Her slender fingers moved ceaselessly over the abacus beside her.

The clinking of the beads was crisp and pleasant to the ear.

It was the eighteenth birthday present Xie Jinbai had given her.

It was crafted from polished Mutton Fat Jade. Each bead was lustrous and smooth, and after years of her handling them, they had gained an even richer sheen.

Back then, she hadn’t been married to him for long. In her own words, she had not yet fully ’conquered’ his heart and was at her most passionate toward him.

She had been single-mindedly determined to be a virtuous and outstanding Princess Consort.

She had poured countless hours of effort into managing the household finances.

For a while, she had even pushed her own husband to the back of her mind.

Xie Jinbai hadn’t wanted to dampen her ’ambition,’ but he also didn’t want to be ignored by her.

So he had specially commissioned an artisan to craft a jade abacus for her.

The idea was that every time she touched the abacus, she would have to think of him.

Now, she still treasured the thing, unable to part with it. And as for him...

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