Chapter 195: Chapter 195: His Body Recognizes Her, and So Does His Soul

The girl in his arms was as rigid as a stone statue. Xie Jinbai patted her back gently. "Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you."

His voice was surprisingly gentle.

At his words, Cui Lingyao’s eyelashes trembled, and her lips parted slightly. "You’re going to have those people interrogate me?"

Xie Jinbai didn’t deny it.

He fell silent for a moment before speaking in a hoarse voice. "I don’t know what to do anymore, Yaoyao. I’m helpless against you. You can toy with me as you please and not care one bit about a few concubines, but I can’t do that."

He couldn’t.

Once those concubines were brought into the mansion.

Whether he touched them or not, there would be six very real people standing between them. There would be no going back.

He couldn’t bear to scare her.

But...

Xie Jinbai lowered his head, pressing his forehead against hers. "Can you just tell me the truth for once?" he murmured.

"And if I told you, would you believe me?"

Cui Lingyao’s voice was strained. "You said you couldn’t trust me anymore, didn’t you? So I’ll tell you now: everything before was a lie. The truth is, even if I fail the task, I won’t die. Do you believe me?"

’I don’t believe her.’

’This is probably just a strategic retreat on her part.’

’She knew he wouldn’t dare to gamble with her life.’

’She wanted to drive him to the brink of madness.’

’Force him until he had no choice but to compromise, no choice but to...’

Even though he was hearing the answer he’d wanted, Xie Jinbai was stunned to realize his instinctive reaction was suspicion, not relief.

He truly didn’t have a single shred of trust left for the girl in his arms.

Their eyes met.

They could see every flicker of emotion on each other’s faces.

He was a master of forbearance and disguise, but Cui Lingyao caught the flicker of shock on his face.

She gave a bitter smile, her lips pressed tight. "Go on, have your people interrogate me. In any case, you trust the methods of torture and forced confessions far more than you’ll ever trust me."

"It wouldn’t be torture or a forced confession," Xie Jinbai said, his brow furrowing slightly. He wanted to explain that even if he sent her to be questioned, he would never allow them to harm a hair on her head. But after a long moment of silence, he slowly released her. Without another word, he just said, "Get out of the carriage."

Outside, dusk had fallen.

Cui Lingyao stepped out of the carriage into a shockingly cold, howling wind.

She shivered and looked up at the sky.

The Prince Mansion, with its red walls, green-tiled roofs, and countless pavilions, looked strangely desolate under the winter night sky.

She felt a weight settle on her as a cloak was draped over her head and shoulders.

Xie Jinbai fastened the ties for her, and she turned to look at him.

Her bright, almond-shaped eyes were filled with a trace of bewilderment.

And an utter helplessness.

Xie Jinbai was powerless against such a gaze. His eyes darkened as he leaned in to kiss her eyelids, sighing softly. "My nemesis..."

But even Cui Mingrui said that his sister, who had been so well-behaved and sensible as a child, had become this spoiled and willful—tormenting people without a second thought—only because he himself had indulged her so.

She was so cruel to him...

She tormented him time and time again.

She was tormenting him to death.

’I can’t let her keep doing whatever she wants.’

But she truly knew how to make him go soft.

His resolve, just barely hardened, crumbled at a single glance from her.

He wanted nothing more than to raise his hands in surrender.

Xie Jinbai cursed himself for being so pathetic. He bent down to scoop her up into his arms, but she stopped him.

"I can walk on my own."

’He’s already thinking of sending cruel officials to interrogate me. Why is he still trying to be so intimate?’

Cui Lingyao strode forward.

Xie Jinbai pressed his lips together and followed behind her.

It was rare to see her this angry, and for once, he didn’t try to coax her.

Just as they reached the study door, Cui Lingyao stopped abruptly. "I want to move back to my own courtyard."

The cloak she wore was a pale yellow. Standing there amidst the gray, dreary surroundings, she was a dazzling splash of color, brimming with life.

Just as his heart was softening and he was about to pull her into his arms for a tender embrace, he heard her bring up the same topic as last night. In an instant, all the tenderness he felt vanished.

His gaze turned cold, and he refused her bluntly. "No. The rear courtyard doesn’t have a ’your own courtyard.’ From now on, this is our courtyard. We will sleep together and eat together. You’re not going anywhere."

"..." Cui Lingyao stared at him. "Is there any point to this?"

’He’s about to have me interrogated and doesn’t trust me one bit. We’ve basically torn all pretenses apart.’

’So why insist on being together day and night?’

’Is he just making things difficult for himself?’

But the man before her didn’t see it that way.

He gave a slight nod and smiled at her. "Of course there is."

It was fascinating, in fact.

"You know I’m deeply in love with you. It’s like I’ve been bewitched. Even I can’t figure out how I could be so pathetic, falling so hard for a woman..."

Xie Jinbai paused, looking at her for a long time before continuing, "But thankfully, I’m not completely self-deluded yet."

"Your constant deception has made it impossible for me to trust you. So go on, keep tormenting me. Maybe if you torment me enough, my heart will finally give up, and I’ll be able to let you go..."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "And believe me," he said, his voice light, "I look forward to that day more than you do."

’The one who created the problem has to be the one to solve it.’

’Since she was the one who made his Love Value peak...’

’...couldn’t she be the one to make it fall?’

Xie Jinbai was sick and tired of having his every emotion—his joy, his anger, his sorrow—controlled by another person.

He was sick of being a complete mess, of humbling himself and showing weakness, of using every trick in the book just to win a single glance from her.

If this so-called love only made him this weak, this miserable, and this pathetic, he would rather not have it at all.

Cui Lingyao’s face was a mask of astonishment.

Xie Jinbai leaned in slightly, his gaze fixed on her for a long moment. "Whether or not I can escape this trap of love... it all depends on you, Yaoyao..."

His tone, as he spoke her name, was still gentle.

With that, he turned and walked into the study in the front courtyard.

A mountain of work was waiting for him.

Leaving Cui Lingyao standing rooted to the spot, dumbfounded.

...

「That night.」

Xie Jinbai returned very late.

The room was pitch-black; no lamp had been left lit for him.

His night vision was superb. He waved away a servant woman who was about to enter and light the lamps, then shut and bolted the door himself.

He rounded the partition screen. There was a slight mound under the covers of the large canopy bed against the far wall.

Xie Jinbai stood by the bed, listening to the girl’s ragged breathing. He raised his arms and began to unfasten the collar of his robes.

One clasp...

Two clasps.

The covers were thrown open, and the man’s scorching body pressed close.

A hand slipped inside her nightgown.

His fingers were long and his palm broad. The skin in the web of his thumb was faintly callused from years of wielding a spear.

The hand slid unhesitatingly up her waist.

Cui Lingyao’s breath hitched, and she grabbed his wrist. "I’m a little tired."

Her voice was taut, her body rigid.

Xie Jinbai flexed his fingers, savoring the smoothness of her skin against his palm. "Then just lie still," he said. "You don’t have to participate. I’ll manage on my own."

Cui Lingyao: "..."

’She didn’t know where he found the nerve to say something like that.’

Xie Jinbai’s lips parted to take her earlobe, and he let out a hoarse sigh. "I can’t help myself."

’As long as she’s lying next to me, I can’t hold back.’

"I want you," he murmured. "Even if you’re a liar, and even if what we have becomes twisted beyond recognition, I still have to have you."

’My body only recognizes you.’

’And so has my soul.’

His kisses trailed down the side of her neck, his voice growing even hoarser. "Otherwise, why don’t you try harder? Make me fall out of love with you. When that day comes, I’ll set you free, and you can finally be rid of me."

’He wanted to see, too, if there was any salvation left for him.’

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