Chapter 145: Chapter 145: Having Desires and Wants

He lowered his head and was met by a pair of watery eyes, glinting with a hidden sharpness.

Every time he saw her like this, he couldn’t resist the urge to tease her mercilessly until she willingly surrendered.

"You’d better always know."

He held her, kissing his way down.

’If I can’t restrain myself, then so be it. I’ll take back what I can, bit by bit.’

’Holding her in my arms day after day without devouring her whole... I’m already exercising great restraint.’

The steam from the Five-cooked Pot was nowhere near as hot as the lovers’ breathless gasps.

...

Gu Yu came running in. She didn’t have time to wonder why the attendants, who should have been inside, were all huddled by the door like frightened quails. She had already stepped through.

When she saw what was before her, she wished she could instantly go deaf and blind.

Liang Ji was boneless, like a pool of water. Her skin, like the finest mutton-fat jade, was tinged with a delicate pink. Her shimmering, misty eyes looked as if they were about to overflow with tears. Upon seeing the intruder, a flash of shyness crossed her face, and she quickly averted her gaze.

Sensing the disturbance, a gaze, sharp as an arrow, shot over, instantly pinning her in place like a target.

Gu Yu, as if struck by lightning, snapped her eyes shut and spun around, her voice trembling as she stammered.

"M-My Lord—"

’But the image in her mind was too intense. W-was that really the Lord? Where was his usual appearance, as pure as snow and cold as frost, devoid of all want and desire? His want, his desire...’

Gu Yu’s whole body felt flushed and hot. She lowered her head and bit her nails fiercely.

"What is it?"

The icy voice rang out, instantly yanking her back to a frozen wasteland and reminding her of her urgent business.

She steeled herself and shouted, "Lady... Lady Cao has hanged herself!"

The scorching air instantly dropped to freezing.

Liang Wan’s heart leaped. She pulled up her fallen clothes, her voice grim and cold. "How is she?"

Gu Yu said, "Luckily, Shuangjiang found her in time and saved her."

Liang Wan breathed a sigh of relief.

She saw with perfect clarity that Lu Xiu merely narrowed his eyes upon hearing the news, his expression otherwise unchanging. He was completely unmoved.

’He truly is a ruthless man.’

Liang Wan reached out and straightened his lapels. "You should go see her. I won’t."

’After all, no one wants to face the person they see as the cause of their suffering at a time like this.’

Lu Xiu frowned. "Why should I go?"

Liang Wan stared at him in astonishment. "She tried to hang herself for you. Shouldn’t you go and console her?"

Lu Xiu lowered his eyes and shook his head. "For me?"

Liang Wan was speechless. ’Isn’t it obvious?’

Lu Xiu sighed. "She did this for herself. What does it have to do with me? Besides, someone who truly wants to die cannot be saved, and someone who only pretends to die will not succeed."

Liang Wan was a little dazed.

Lu Xiu helped her up. "How many times have I even met her? How well does she know me, to have such deep feelings? Whether she insisted on staying here or chose to hang herself, it wasn’t because of me. It’s because she’s resentful, and she cares about her reputation and doesn’t want to be the subject of gossip."

Liang Wan said, "When it comes to divorce, few people can be indifferent."

Lu Xiu glanced at her and nodded. "Then should I go hang myself as well?"

Liang Wan was completely exasperated.

Lu Xiu said, "In the matter of this political marriage, am I not a victim just as she is? Does the fact that I didn’t hang myself make me the one at fault?"

Liang Wan was speechless.

Lu Xiu stroked her hair. "Although this matter was proposed by the Lu Family, do you think the Cao Family didn’t stand to gain from it?"

"That day, I made a point of explaining the situation to them before the wedding. I had my plans. But the Cao Family... Since I have no interest in her, why not end things sooner rather than later to prevent any misunderstandings?"

He had a point.

Liang Wan sighed. "But she did try to kill herself."

Lu Xiu let out a dry laugh. "Imagine if she were truly determined. If I were to go to her every time she makes an attempt on her life, when would this charade ever be over?"

Liang Wan stared at him blankly.

Lu Xiu sighed softly. "I know you want me to console her out of sympathy for a fellow woman, but how can you know what’s truly in another person’s heart?"

Liang Wan lowered her head. She truly didn’t know what was in another’s heart. She only knew that when she herself had sought death, she had truly not wanted to live.

Lu Xiu’s gaze fell on her lowered neck. "I dare say, if I were to show even a shred of pity for her, you would immediately start plotting how to escape this place overnight, wouldn’t you?"

Liang Wan kept her eyes fixed on the floor.

’Yes. She was no longer some charitable person.’

’She would no longer be magnanimous or generous. Sacrificing herself for others? Impossible. Let alone sharing someone...’

Lu Xiu sighed softly. "These past few days, I’ve seen very clearly what’s on your mind."

He cupped her chin, gently tilting her head up. Their gazes locked, leaving her no escape.

"Wanwan, I can tell you with certainty, no matter what my status is, you are my one and only."

His gaze was too scorching; something deep inside her seemed to be melting, bit by bit.

She would remember that single look for many years to come.

Suddenly, a soft warmth touched her forehead. Liang Wan froze for a moment.

Lu Xiu stared at her intently. "This matter has nothing to do with you. You don’t need to feel guilty. Even without you, there was never any possibility between her and me."

Liang Wan looked into his eyes and nodded involuntarily.

Lu Xiu caressed the hair at her temples, a smile rippling through his night-dark eyes.

Later, whenever she recalled it, it seemed that many things had started to change from that night on...

Gu Yu, her back still turned, stood stiffly at the door, listening in a daze.

’The Lord really is—’

"How long are you going to stand there?"

Gu Yu quickly turned around and lowered her head. "My Lord, this servant—"

Lu Xiu merely glanced at her, then said to Liang Wan, "A guest should defer to their host. You rest now."

After Lu Xiu left, Liang Wan had someone clear everything from the small table.

Gu Yu followed Lu Xiu, one behind the other, toward the place where Cao Luyun was staying.

The sky was completely dark. In the courtyard, everything looked cold and bleak, save for the windproof lanterns.

"Gu Yu, how long have you been in this mansion?"

The sudden voice was like the northwesterly wind on a winter’s night.

Gu Yu shivered. She took a careful breath and said, "My Lord, this servant has been in the mansion for eight years, and in the South Garden for seven."

The man in front hummed in acknowledgment and then fell silent. Only the sound of the wind whistling past their ears remained.

Gu Yu lowered her head. ’I was indeed reckless just now, barging in on the Lord and Liang Ji’s intimacy, and crucially, interrupting them...’

A feeling of unease grew within her.

’I have to accept my punishment willingly.’

Gu Yu said in a low voice, "This servant was reckless. I ask that My Lord—"

"...From now on, when you all leave, close the door behind you."

Her plea for punishment was cut short. Gu Yu looked up, stunned for a moment, then quickly shut her eyes and shrank back. "Yes. This servant will pass on the order."

「In the new residence.」

The maids and servant women knelt on the floor, frightened and alarmed.

On Cao Luyun’s neck, the skin that should have been fair was flushed red.

She sat on the daybed, one hand tightly clutching the length of white silk, the other gently wiping away her tears.

Shuangjiang and another maid were beside her, offering words of comfort and consolation.

They only knew that when Lady Cao had returned from seeing Liang Ji that morning, she had been in a rather good mood. At noon, she had even gone to the kitchen full of enthusiasm, specifically making a large number of pastries that she said were for the Lord.

But somehow, after exchanging a few words with the Lord, she had emerged with a tear-stained face.

After returning, she had dismissed everyone and hidden herself in her bedchamber. If they hadn’t gone in to call her for the evening meal, she might have already been gone.

Everyone felt a lingering fear just thinking about it.

To commit suicide in the Grandmaster’s Mansion...

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