Chapter 1224: Torn Between Heart and Steel

When the three Radiant Lords summoned by Eldrion opened their eyes, three pillars of pitch-black Lumyst shot into the sky like harbingers of annihilation. The sky groaned as if pierced by blades of shadow, and the ground beneath their feet trembled in response, as though dreading what was to come. Their auras were so dense and menacing that it wasn’t just Jake and his companions who felt the pressure—every single recruit on the battlefield flinched under the weight, some outright collapsing, clutching at their chests as if suffocating.

If it was already that unbearable for the Dusken Throne’s army, it could only be worse for the Radiant Conclave. Except for the Saints and high-ranking officers, every Light Warrior of Paladin rank and below dropped to one knee, faces pale, legs trembling like their life force had just been siphoned away. The air itself seemed poisoned by despair, each breath shallow and cold, as if the battlefield had been plunged into an early grave.

And that’s exactly what was happening.

This black Lumyst was so steeped in destruction that even the sheer vitality flooding from those auras couldn’t offset it. More than that, its alignment was teetering on the edge—on the verge of flipping into something wholly opposite. A perversion of life, an anti-energy gnawing at the soul like rot beneath a flawless skin.

As all the Players near Jake scanned the newcomers with swift mental sweeps, an uneasy silence fell. Even after Twyluxia’s grip on their powers had loosened, few had the confidence to last more than a heartbeat against such soul-crushing energy. A primal instinct whispered in their guts: Run. Run now.

Jake, whose team had drawn the first duel against one of these Radiant Lords, didn’t look much more thrilled. In fact, his expression was so grim it sent ripples of anxiety through Asfrid, Will, and the others. His silence screamed louder than any war cry.

’What’s going through his head?’

Luckily—or maybe not—his mind was locked tight, out of anyone’s reach. If they’d been able to hear his thoughts, shame and helplessness would’ve hit them like a gut punch... followed closely by a spike of raw fury.

Because Jake wasn’t thinking about strategies or last-minute tactics.

He was thinking, cold and clear: If I were the one fighting, I’d be yawning right now.

But he wasn’t the one risking his life.

They were.

And that... that was what twisted the knife.

Jake trusted them. He knew a lot could change in four years. But his pessimism hadn’t exactly mellowed over time. He only truly trusted one thing—his own strength. And even then, it wasn’t as absolute as he wished it was. Confidence didn’t always mean certainty.

His yardstick for measuring others had always been himself. Will, his humanoid dragon escort. Asfrid. Enya. Esya. Mani. Those arrogant Great Generals. Even the two Saints from the Conclave... None of them felt like a threat to him. Not even close. They were flames beside a star.

It was harsh, yeah. But his explosive growth had pulled him so far ahead that he couldn’t even see the gap anymore. The difference between them and fresh recruits? Barely noticeable to him.

Sure, he kept telling himself others could be hiding their real strength too. But even so, he felt nothing. No tension. No threat. Just... a void.

Mufasa was strong. His performance had been savage, awe-inspiring. A raw display of primal power that left both Players and natives stunned into silence. He was like a natural disaster given claws and will.

Everyone except Jake.

He didn’t show it, but deep down, he believed—no, he knew—he could crush the lion into paste with a snap of his fingers.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe the King of Beasts wouldn’t die so easily. Maybe his Nemean hide was magical enough to tank the worst damage thrown at him.

But what if one snap wasn’t enough? What about two? Or ten? What if Jake actually tried? What if he used his weapons, his reinforcement magic, his Lumyst... his Soul Class?

In no version of reality Jake’s mind could simulate did that lion survive more than a few seconds. It wasn’t arrogance—it was raw, unfiltered calculation.

Crunch was strong, too. The mischievous cat had surprised him more than once. Backed into a corner, the feline always pulled out something unexpected—stronger, faster, deadlier than anticipated.

Maybe he was holding back another transformation. Who knew?

But what would it even matter?

Jake hadn’t been fighting seriously, not even close.

So far from it, in fact, it was laughable.

Because if he ever cut loose for real, the whole concept of winning or surviving the Ordeal would become irrelevant. He could just sit back and let the Blade Spirit butcher everyone. His power had grown into something monstrous, unfit for controlled use.

That was the real issue: Jake was scared for his friends. Each of them had their own trump cards, hidden powers, goals. But after everything... after finally reuniting, he didn’t want to lose any of them. Not now. Not yet.

Balancing his role as a leader—with all the ice-cold rationality it demanded—and his actual emotions? It was like walking a tightrope over a pit of knives. And lately, the wind had been blowing hard.

[You won’t always be able to protect them.]

Xi’s voice broke the long silence, soft but loaded with an eerie weight. Her words were gentle, maybe even comforting on the surface. But lately, she’d been keeping her thoughts closer to the chest, and that shift made Jake’s throat tighten.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that she was hiding something. Her emotional outbursts might’ve seemed minor, but since their minds had become linked, she’d never let her feelings bleed into their teamwork like this.

’I know that,’ Jake replied, his voice harsher than intended, his jaw clenched tight.

They were his subordinates, sure. But no plan—no matter how perfect—was immune to failure.

When he calculated and strategized, he listened to the voice of probability. And with how chaotic things had become, getting a 100% outcome was damn near impossible. Especially now that the enemy Oracle Hacker had trashed their predictive system.

[A good leader, a good general, uses their people without hesitation,]

Xi reminded him, her tone colder than usual, almost forcefully detached.

[You can’t beat a grandmaster at chess without sacrificing pieces. The world doesn’t bend just because you want it to. Just because you’ve managed until now doesn’t mean it’ll keep working.]

Jake scowled. He could tell she was pushing something on him, and he didn’t like where this was going.

’So what, you want me to ditch my feelings and treat them like expendable trash once they’re used up? If I go down that road, how am I any different from those monsters who kill and rape for fun? Without bonds, without emotions, we’re just animals.’

[My point... is that you can’t control everything,]

she said at last.

[You have subordinates—use them. Zero risk doesn’t exist. And these aren’t children. Believe it or not, they know what they signed up for. Or have you forgotten that the Fifth Ordeal has a survival rate of 1 to 3%? Do your part—and let them do theirs. Those who are meant to die will die, with or without your help. And those who are meant to live will grow stronger until their turn comes too.]

[And remember one last thing. Their lives aren’t more valuable than yours. In fact, it’s the opposite. If you die, the Myrtharian Nerds are finished. If they all die, you alone can build another faction just as strong. That’s the brutal truth. You’re immortal now. That’s the reality. Bonds, emotions—they’re worthless in the scope of the endless life waiting for you. You’ve known them for a few years, but you’ll live through cosmic eras. Use them when needed, like pawns. And cherish the moments you do share, while they last. Those are the only currencies that matter.]

She fell silent after that, her words hanging like smoke over a battlefield. Jake stood frozen, a storm of frustration and despair ripping through his chest.

She was right. He hated it, but she was right.

He thought he’d become colder. But clearly, he was still too soft. Still terrified of being abandoned. Still scared of losing it all.

Deep down, he clung to those fears. Because to him, they were the last threads tying him to his fading humanity. If he let them go, became the emotionless machine he feared, he wasn’t sure he could ever come back.

But as painful as it was to admit... Xi was right.

What must happen, will happen.

That’s why he’d awakened the Fate Slayer Aura instead of any other Lumyst Aura. Just another example of his inner child kicking and screaming against the inevitable. A final act of defiance from a heart that hadn’t given up hope.

’Very well. I’ll use them...’ Jake murmured to himself, his expression darkening like a thundercloud ready to burst. ’But not by robbing them of their free will.’

Drawing in a deep breath, he turned to face his companions.

"Who wants to fight?"

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