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Trinity

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I did my best to get back to the door to the royal tower. I knew that I should have just searched the floor that I was already on, but I thought that I might find something in my room, something that the voice probably didn't want me to see. That was why it told me to keep going, not to go back to where I had been.

Then again, I could be putting too much thought into that. That was the problem with this right now. I didn't know what to believe, what to think, or what to do. There were no definite answers that were coming to me. There were just feelings and instincts.

In truth, when you strip away the things that make up who we are, all that is left are our instincts. The feelings that we got that told us if something was safe or not. That's what I needed to rely on right now. I may not be able to shift right now, but that didn't mean that I was incapable of connecting to my primal self and the base instincts that all of us are born with.

Finally, after what felt like more than an entire day, or was it two, I made it up to my bedroom. I thought I had heard whispered words around me from time to time. No, it wasn't that voice talking to me.

These voices, the ones I heard in my tower, were those of Vincent, Roisin, and several other people. I even heard the children's voices from time to time. Little Talia's sweet little voice that was always soft and kind. The slightly older voices of Reagan and Rika as they started to act more like big kids instead of mommy's little babies.

At one point, when I was close to my room, I thought I even heard Reece's and Noah's voices. Those voices, specifically my husband's, actually put me at ease. I needed to be closer to him right now. I missed him and I was starting to lose hope.

Finally, I made it into my room, even though it was only a few feet away from the door that I had been near, it still felt like it was taking me a really long time.

My room looked the same as I remember it. There were no changes at all to the place, except for the fact that it was all in various shades of gray. It was still hard for me to process all of that gray. It was weird to see my home, see myself in mirrors and for it all to just be gray. Well, I guess when I do finally get gray hair, I won't look so bad, well, then again, my face wasn't its usual complexion either so maybe I would look bad.

"UGH!" I sighed the words as I got closer to my bed. "I just need to rest and relax." I was about to drop onto the mattress when I heard Reece's voice again. 

"I'll be here, waiting for you Trinity, so wake up soon. We have a lot to talk about. And I don't think you actually want Griffin to run all those tests on you. He will have you in so many medical machines that it isn't even funny. And I know that you don't want anyone else to find out what is going on with you. So, come on, don't do this, don't stay asleep. It's time to wake up. You've been asleep for a long time already. If you're still tired you can take another nap later, but I think it's time to wake up now. Please, Trinity, wake up. Please, baby."

I could tell that he was crying. There was definitely something wrong. Was this really happening? Was this what he was feeling right now? Has someone called him home early? Or had it been that long already?

"I love you, baby. I love you so much, Trinity. Please don't leave me here like this. I need you. I can't live without you. You know that, don't you?" I focused on the bed a little more and I was actually able to see him there, in full color, lying on the bed and curled up like he was wrapped around something.

"Reece." I called out to him and fought to get to the bed. I felt like, with the fervent desire to reach him coursing through my body, I was actually moving faster than I had been. That or I was just getting used to this place and how it felt to move here.

By the time that I got to the bed, I could tell that Reece was sound asleep as he curled himself around something that I couldn't see. I didn't want to think about it being my body or anything like that. That thought was just scary and morbid.

I laid my head down on his side and wrapped myself around him as best as I could. I was tired now and I needed to get some sleep. I don't really know how long it took me to get this far in this alternate version of my home, but it had taken all that I had just to reach this point.

I was just going to lay here and sleep with my husband, my Fido. Man, I don't call him that nearly enough. And just thinking about it made me remember the first time that I called him Fido. The first time had been when we were eating breakfast together for the first time. He kept pissing me off and finally, I just snapped at him. It was pretty funny, if I do say so myself.

I tried to focus on Reece, his face and his words, when I slept. I thought of good times and bad ones. I thought about the different things that have shaped our relationship and helped us to be who we are today.

"Dammit." I said the words to myself as I snuggled against him. No matter what I was feeling, I should have talked to him about it. I'm such a horrible person. I'm a horrible mate and wife. Dammit! I should never have done this to him. "I'm sorry, Reece. I am sorry that I am not there with you and the kids. I am sorry that I thought I was good enough to handle this all alone. I'm so sorry."

I wanted to sob, I wanted to cry and let all of these emotions out of me, but I couldn't. Actually, it was more like I wouldn't. I wouldn't let this get the best of me. I was going to fight this and get through this. I was going to prove that I was strong enough, even without magic. I would do whatever it took, right after I snuggled and slept like a baby with my mate.

Hey, I was still an emotional person sometimes, I needed him to sooth me.. I was allowed this tiny bit of weakness, right? I was allowed to be vulnerable where my husband and mate were involved, wasn't I? Well, no matter what someone else says, I thought that I was.

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