Female complications, day 36 Brand new day.

In the morning I wake up lying on my side holding Caecilia against me, with my head between her breasts, as has happened before with others. Caecilia likes it, the morning kiss and that we can share the bed without having sex and that I held her against me while we fell asleep, as a husband and wife more than just a purely sexual relationship. To me it still feels very much like a 'sexual relationship' because Caecilia prefers to fall asleep with my hand or hands resting on her breasts or between her legs, rather than on her hip or bum or around her stomach, while she herself prefer to rests her hand on my crotch and penis. She dislike sleeping completely separated in bed, or where I have used her for sex, but then pushed her away from me before she had an orgasm, or most boringly just used her for sex or let her pleasure me without thinking about her pleasure, and then sent her out of the room. She would of course accept if I did that, but loves that I don't. I don't think I've made that mistake with any of the women, but the stag night is foggy, and I wasn't normal. It annoys me that I still have regret and actually feel ashamed that many of the women had what I consider is a bad experience - especially Unn and Lifa - and I've avoided founding out whether there were more virgins there, because that might also apply to Myrun's young shieldmaiden or Gauthild. Guilt over such things is one of my many quirks that my sambos enjoy, especially Jane.

I whisper that no matter what Caecilia's legal status is, I like her and she's mine, in body and soul, which gives her a blissful smile and she rewards me with a kiss on my head. I don't love her like my sambos, but I care for her as more than a friend, and she was never someone who just works for me. Her legs instantly slide apart when I place my hand on her vagina, and she adjusts her body, putting her leg over mine to give my hand easier access. I caress the hóra branding on her breast, and can't help wondering if it would be possible to surgically remove the branding. It's not too deep, just a little big at a few centimeters and it's certainly possible, but not something I want to try unless I have to, and I don't know how big the scar would be because there will be a scar. I can imagine the Midgård option of skin transfer, but that's impossible for me, so the only option would be to cut away and pull together. Just the thought of cutting into a friend's body with a scalpel, carving and cutting away, and then stitching the wound up makes me shiver. Gah! I can't even do anything about the scar afterwards. There are no laser treatments and the like here, and I don't even know which laser is suitable in power, pulse rate or wavelength, although I imagine it is in the IR range and probably between 0.8 to 2 µm that penetrates well into the skin, and it may be quite precise wavelength range needed. And just making any useful laser is hard enough.

There is also no good way to really numb the pain and knock out a patient during surgery except with alcohol. Unn can make a rather toxic-dangerous mixture that needs to be carefully dosed and is obviously quite risky. I might eventually try making ether for anaesthetics, but surgery doesn't really happen here except to take out arrows and stitch up wounds after battle, or try to fix a serious bone fracture reasonably well, or just amputation, and that is something I'd like to start changing to some extent, but that requires knowledge of the body which they lack, and it's an area where Jane and I only have superficial knowledge. However, better medical technology has to start somewhere, but I hope there is someone really knowledgeable that we can attract here in the future.

Caecilia asks if I'm thinking of having her hóra mark removed, which surprise me. But as she continues to talk, I realise that Jane has already told them about cosmetic surgery and how 'medical craftsmen' in Midgård could have made her mark disappear, probably without a trace. How medical craftsmen in Midgård can attach fingers that have been chopped off, sometimes so they are partially usable. Or replace large burnt areas, change or recreate noses, jaws etc that have been damaged or deformed, and it is very common to enlarge or reduce breasts, fill in lips and change noses etc - just because of vanity, self-confidence or social pressure.

Jane has been close to getting bigger breasts several times, but backed off because of the healing period. She had plans to do it this winter, because she would like to have slightly larger breasts, just a size or two, and she has also thought about maybe doing a small injection in her lips, because she thinks they could be a little fuller. Discussions with Iselin about breasts are apparently the reason Jane started talking about cosmetic surgery, and they have since talked about it several times, and Jane has shown Iselin pictures of Midgård women from her mobile phone and my tablet. Iselin wouldn't hesitate to get bigger breasts if she could, and it would be at least two sizes bigger and maybe more, because she thinks Caecilia and Ciara with E are just right, but Alith with 65G and Ryla with 70G are a couple of sizes bigger, and 'prettier'.

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I've heard way too much talk from Iselin, Caecilia and Jane about different women's breasts, sizes and bra designs. Bras are an ongoing project, and apart from sizes and correct fitting, there have been discussions about breast shape, design and other things like how the body changes. Several women in my proximity have spent the last 8 months eating a lot of nutritious food and working less physically demanding jobs than in their previous lives, and thus have put on a bit of weight, which has affected breast sizes and bra fit. Kari seems unchanged, but Iselin is so happy that her breasts have gone up a cup, while Ciara has really grown since I first met her and now has E, which according to Ciara is 'almost back' to where she was 2 years ago. I get why Iselin said she had beautiful big boobs.

Apparently Jane has been considering 'fat grafting augmentation' where body fat is sucked out from available places and injected into the breasts, as it actually avoids implants, but found the surgery more complicated. I'm not surprised that it's something Iselin is particularly curious about, as she sees a small chance that it might be possible in 5-10 years. I don't even want to think about Iselin doing something like that with the primitive things we will be able to produce and make here. The risk of complications and bad results is way too high that I don't even want to start experimenting with such things, even in 10 years, because there will be women who will have complications and maybe die, and if it seems to work well and is safe enough, it's only a matter of time until Iselin wants it.

Their biggest discussion was about changing sex, and although Iselin and Caecilia hardly see anything negative about all the other operations, that went against the will of the Gods and was wrong. But since in Midgård it is only possible to change the outer appearance, but not the function - i.e. a man who has become a woman cannot give birth, and a woman who has become a man cannot make a woman with children - they have accepted it. What the soul is like is, of course, also under the influence of the gods, so a person should have the right to decide about their own appearance, even if some humans make too extreme changes for their taste.

I am annoyed that Jane has told them all of that, but Caecilia says that Jane quickly realised that she shouldn't have told her or Iselin, and Caecilia has already promised that she will not ask me to try to remove on her hóra mark, because they know I would be so distressed by the problems that might arise and having to cut into her with a knife. They are convinced that it would hurt me deeply, and even if I hadn't forbidden her to do it, she would never force me to continue by cutting away the mark herself.

At the same time, Caecilia has learned to appreciate her hóra branding by seeing it in a different way, which a comment from Jane also made her realise. With or without the mark, she will never be able to have children because of that Völva ritual, but the hóra mark makes her special from my other sambos and gives us a bond that the others don't have, and that was apparently what inspired Caecilia to mark herself with a rune. Caecilia knows that she now is only mine - in body and soul - and her hóra mark means that no other Norse man will dare to touch her sexually, regardless of my status or her oath. For the rest of our lives she will be mine alone, and it sends a little jolt of pain through my soul that she says it with a happy, satisfied smile.

I'm glad she's not going to ask me to try to remove her mark, and that she's no longer sad about that mark. When I start kissing the mark, her breast and her body, the discussion just becomes a memory.

Caecilia joins Jane and Ciara in the greenhouse where they will sit and paint nature, although Ciara will knit, and I go to the day room and use the radio for an update, and to try out the new super regenerative receiver.

It's a bit awkward and annoying to switch the antenna from the permanent installation, and in future I'll probably have to erect a temporary antenna if I'm going to do more tests like this, but the super regen radio works fine to Borgarsandr, but it's definitely trickier to use and get right, although I suppose it's a quick learn. Of course no difference in transmission, but the reception is trickier, and I have to fine tune the frequency adjustment. Building more super regen radios may be worth it if the regen receiver is good enough for Skiringsalr, or if in the future I manage to make usable vacuum tubes, as I expect the vacuum tubes will be very bad, but it is possible to make a simpler regen receiver with just a vacuum tube. We switch back to the mansion's permanent radio when the test is done.

I really should create a proper standard for radio calls and such, with a list of short codes much like Q codes, and give each of us a callsign. There will be so few radios and people using them, so we can make it simple by using the first four letters of the name, as long as it don't appear to be a word. Robert could be ROBE, or maybe RBRT? Kari is only four letters, and so are Jane and Asta, and Ciara only five. I should also give places names. ACKE can be for Ackerek Island. Or THRY for Thrymheim. Borgarsandr is a bit harder, but something like BRGS works.

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