The Apocalypse Team gathered at Steve's place to watch the press conference. His family was decently well off, and he was making money hand over fist. The rest of them had six-figure college debt, but Steve was a one percenter at least. Given how important this was, hanging out at Steve's was the most sensible—and the most comfortable.

The President gave an introductory speech, which was pretty good considering the short notice—friendly, reassuring, and diplomatic. The White House Press Room had big monitors set up, so that everyone could see images of Nick, the ship's demonic-looking doctor, Captain Geh!aoa, and the male dog-person, along with the captain of the space freighter Nick claimed to have hired. Half the planet was probably watching and listening from home.

Captain Geh!aoa began by telling an amazing story of her world and her species. She apologized for the poor translation from her native language of Kthufu. They had reached the Industrial Revolution and invented radio, but didn't have computers yet, so translation had to be done the hard way. She listed their achievements, and some of their mistakes, building up a picture of an entire alien history.

Then, she told them, three years ago, disaster struck. Their star began changing, growing brighter, and it was devastating their entire planet. It was chilling to hear about how, not long ago, there were nearly a billion fuak!as on Ooafa—and now, there were only six thousand left.

"My people were dying. Our world was dying. I was a student from a learning-village a year ago. A group of us went up a mountain and stayed in a silver mine with a radio tower near. Every night, we called, gave and got words and messages, telling each other about the...disaster. Months after, the other voices on the radio stopped talking, one and two and three."

You could have heard a pin drop in the Press Room.

"In the end, there was no answer on our radio any more. We did call, every seventh night. We hoped for some news, any news. We had twenty-seven people crowded into the mine, and we feared that we were the last fuak!a in the world.

"Our food...we did not have enough. In a season at most, we would have none, and then we would die of hunger." The Captain paused and made some clicking sounds for a few moments.

"My family was gone. My town where I began. My country. My world. It felt...stupid, to climb up to the tower again and again, and call to the silence. But I did it. Every seventh night.

"And then...a miracle."

Captain Geh!aoa turned to the side, making that clicking sound again, and her huge ears started to fold over her face. But then she straightened and faced forward, deliberately flaring her ears out.

"She's crying," Vanessa murmured. The others glanced at her. "The clicks. That's how they cry."

On the screen, the Captain continued. "One night, as I called on the radio, something called back. Something strange. Something alien. It spoke a language I had never heard before. I felt fear, and also hope.

"Who was it? What was it? A savior? A monster? We had never encountered aliens before. I didn't know what to think.

"And then, I listened to a frightening, terrible noise." The alien paused.

"Nick, singing."

On his screen, Nick visibly snorted, and a faint ripple of laughter in the Press Room cut the tension somewhat.

"I guess they have humor, too," Maggie observed.

"And good taste," Steve added.

"That was how he started," the alien Captain continued. "Then we learned to count, and tried to talk, but it was very slow. I think it is time for Nick to say his part of the story."

Nick told the world about his adventure, describing the portals, explaining how he had gotten stranded on Ooafa with half a car and most of his backpack and nothing else—except a rock one of the aliens called the Nagathi had tossed to him. He recounted how he slowly figured out how to use the rock, which turned out to be something like a 3D copier with some blueprints.

He told everyone about digging to survive, manufacturing food by copying the surviving groceries, making his underground complex, trying and failing to grow an apple tree, and gradually working out how to live like a Robinson Crusoe but in space. He built the radio hoping to find someone to rescue him, and ended up coming to the rescue of the Ooafans.

"This is actually brilliant PR," Brian observed.

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

"How so?" Maggie asked.

"It's a feel-good story—a human helping aliens. It will make people more sympathetic to the Ooafans. It also doesn't hurt that we're more technologically advanced, so the human supremacists will be placated."

"Human supremacists?" Vanessa asked.

"You know they're already printing up the T-shirts," Brian cynically replied. "The Arrurrans will have dog-lovers on their side. The demonic-looking Goldaskians will be a much harder sell, though."

"They'll need security if they ever come down here."

Nick was going into a bit more detail than he had with his friends, explaining how he had gotten sick a couple of times, and then some of the fuak!a had gotten sick. He was still skipping a lot, and soon got to the point where he said, "and then, we came under attack." Nick turned and looked off screen, and the doctor took up the tale.

"I was the ship's doctor aboard the Goldaskian cruiser Kalash-Quovo, which is now the New Hope. We were at a world called Thenigris Glang when a group of Nagathi criminals attacked a major industrial center, stole equipment, and then used the local portal technology to escape. We set out in pursuit, but portal technology is rare, and it required months to travel to the branch point, which was here on Earth.

"When we arrived, we basically ignored you. I apologize for that, but the leaders among my people are frequently...dumbasses, as Nick would put it. We investigated the portal site, and found enough traces to get a list of seven worlds the thieves could have used to escape. As soon as we had the information we needed, we packed up and left. Fortunately, the ship's scanners had picked up some English just in the background data, which was useful for Nick later.

"We traveled from world to world, seeking the thieves. The first turned up nothing. The next world was Ooafa. Our scanners picked up what appeared to be signs of the Nagathi. At that point, my brilliant dumbass of a Captain ordered an attack, invading the base that Nick had built, which was housing the Ooafans.

"As humiliating as it is to admit, my people lost. We saw the primitive technology of the Ooafans and got sloppy, and we did not know about Nick. With improvised weapons, they defeated our Marines, and Nick managed to fly the drop shuttle back up to the ship. When the Ooafans killed our officers, Nick personally took me prisoner and protected me, for which I am very grateful.

"The Ooafans allowed most of us to surrender. They marooned the crew on the planet, but permitted a few of us to stay and work for them. We taught them how to run the ship, and some basics about the galaxy. Captain Geh!aoa can tell you the next part."

"Damn, Nick sounds like John Carter of Mars when you hear it like this," Brian commented.

The Ooafan captain continued. "After we took the ship, nightmare became dream. My people did not know how to fly. Now, we flew to other stars. We renamed the ship New Hope. We explored, looking for help, for food. After searching many worlds, we found the Arrurran System, very close to our own. Grrmyip can tell you about that."

The Doberman-person began speaking, and it sounded a lot like a dog barking, but much more complex. The translation had been a bit stilted with the Captain, but was very clear for the Goldaskian and now the Arrurran.

"Hello. My people have spacecraft but not starships. We are perhaps one century ahead of Earth in technological development, and have colonized the better parts of our star system. When the New Hope arrived, it was our First Contact with aliens. We never expected to meet three alien races at once!

"My father is a businessman, a leader of a system-wide trading house. He and I were aboard one of our ships, traveling with a delivery of food meant for the colony on Grrasa, the outer moon of our gas giant. When we heard the messages from the visitors, my father was the first to offer a trade—food for some information and examples of advanced technology from the Goldaskians. At the same time, he sent me aboard to act as Ambassador and trade liaison. My people soon sent more to join the ship, but I was the first of my people to meet aliens.

"Adaptation was surprisingly smooth. Doctor Vickall and her advanced Goldaskian medicine took care of incompatibilities of food and biota. Within a week, I was able to mingle with the crew.

"My people look forward to friendship with humanity. We have learned about your partnership with the creatures you call dogs. While there are some similarities, we are a sapient race. We promise not to hold the leashes and little sweaters against you, but you should feed them more steak."

There was a silence that stretched. Grrmyip turned to the side. "Nick, you said that would be funny!"

That drew some laughs. On his screen, Nick shrugged and spread his hands.

"More seriously, we like that you call them 'Man's best friend', and we hope to soon be called, 'Humanity's New Best Friends.' We have much to teach you, and much to share. The Ooafans will learn from you, you will learn from us, we will learn from the Goldaskians, and we all will learn from the galaxy at large."

Maggie noticed that Nick had tensed for a moment at the end there. Yeah, still not getting the whole story. Nick needs a better poker face for diplomacy. He's good with a bluff, but not so quick dealing with surprises.

The Captain resumed the tale, summarizing how they had gone on a long voyage, searching for nearby civilizations with starships for hire. They had found several, and returned to continue rescue efforts on Ooafa. Finally, the situation had stabilized enough to spare the cruiser, and the Ooafans fulfilled their promise to bring Nick home.

The next to speak was the captain of the space freighter. He looked vaguely like a huge woodchuck. "Greetings to the humans of Earth. I am Captain Telnik of the Guranaki Melor. I was initially hired by the Ooafans to assist with search and rescue operations, along with space-lifting some of the survivors to the Arrurran System.

"Nick Tomsun of Earth hired me on a 167 day contract, of which 78 days have elapsed on the journey here. He described our mission as helping you to explore the star systems around yours, and to assist with First Contact situations, including this one. My ship can carry up to four hundred tons, and our top speed is about 7.2 light-years per hour."

"That is our...talk," Captain Geh!aoa declared. "We hope this helps you to understand us."

A loud murmur spread throughout the White House Press Room.

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