White House Press Secretary Amelia P. Johnson called out, "To facilitate matters, our visitors have asked me to call on members of the press for questions." Over the immediate clamor, she pointed and continued, "Let's start with Juan."

The reporter stood. "Juan Mendez, Global News Network. Captain..Gehaowa—"

"Geh!aoa."

"My apologies—"

"It is good. Nick needed half a year to say my name right. You can call me Captain Jen Ana. That is what Nick called me when beginning."

"Thank you, Captain. My first question is the most obvious one: are you, or any of you, a threat to the people of Earth?"

"No. As I said to your President, we are only visiting, and you are far from our homes. If you shoot us, we will shoot you. That is normal. But, if you shoot us, we will speak first, and only shoot people who shoot us. We have very powerful weapons, but we will not use them first. We do not want war. Do not be dumbasses and we will be fine."

There was some laughter in the Press Room.

"Ah. Please excuse my Kthufu. I am not a diplomat. Nick is not a diplomat. And Nick teaches English very bad. Please be patient."

"Belinda."

"Belinda Carter Murray, CNN. Captain Jen Ana, how much of your technology will you be sharing with Earth?"

"It is not my people who have the technology, but I know the Arrurrans have already given Nick many books and designs. We will speak more with your leaders and your scientists. Nick, do you want to answer more?"

"Uh, yeah. I have a ton of good stuff, but I don't want to screw up the world, so we're going to share it out slowly. Like a friend of mine suggested, 'first give out the stuff so nobody has to work any more, then give out the stuff that makes all the jobs go away.' I don't mean that literally, but you get the idea. Slow and careful, but yes, awesome stuff is coming."

"May I answer as well?" Captain Telnik called, visibly surprising Nick, who gestured, yielding to him. "Of everyone here, I probably have the most experience with peaceful First Contact. We have materials for helping your society to advance in technology rapidly. But on the first page of each of those books, the advice is, 'Don't do it.'"

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The Press Room fell silent.

"The boss has the right idea. Take it very slowly. In the history of the galaxy, well-meaning visitors have tried many times to uplift a civilization, and it rarely turns out well for the uplifted. The best results come with the slowest work. Gain our technology, yes, but don't lose who you are as a people in the process. Part of my job is to help you succeed in this, and give you..." the alien paused a few moments, squeaking things that didn't translate, before finishing, "...the best of all worlds." The freighter captain nodded to show he was finished.

"Zack."

"Zack J. Kramer, Fox News. Who will make these decisions about what technology will be released, when, and to who?"

"We will talk to many of you about it, but Nick will choose. He is one of you." There was a murmur among the press.

"But he's young, and just one man," Kramer protested. "And he's not a diplomat, or scientist, or leader. Why him, when you have all the people of Earth to choose from now?"

"For reasons," Captain Geh!aoa replied. "One, Nick is the human who saved my people. Every Ooafan owes their lives to Nick's kindness, his giving, and his good decisions.

"Two, in all of us on these ships, he is the one human, so he is the best choice of us to decide what is best for humans.

"Three, Nick hired Captain Telnik and his crew. He is their boss.

"Four, he is the human with the most experience with aliens.

"Five, we know him. We like him.

"Six, Nick says he is a dumbass, but he is—" there was a beep. "I am sorry, I do not have the word in English. He chooses good things."

"Wise," Dr. Vickall put in. "I believe she means that Nick is very wise for such a young man, and I agree."

"Thank you, Sana. That is my answer, Mr. Kramer."

"Mister Torrance."

"Edgar Torrance, BBC News. My question is for Doctor Vickall: How will you protect the Earth from alien sicknesses?"

The red-skinned alien gave a smile, which might have been meant as reassuring but showed her fangs. "That is an excellent question. When we are permitted, we will sterilize one of our shuttles, including the passenger compartment. We will land, open the hatch, and allow some humans to approach and board. We will then return to the ship.

"I will spend probably two days examining all of the biological particles those humans carry. I will test to ensure that they will not get any of the crew sick, and then expose them one by one. I will manufacture any vaccines or other medicine required, including synthesizing gut bacteria to enable you to eat our foods. Your volunteers will be fortunate that Nick has already been your...gopher?"

"'Guinea pig'," Nick corrected quickly.

"Your guinea pig. At the same time, I will be curing any sicknesses your volunteers have."

That got a strong response.

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