[Appliance Amalgamation - Silver Monster]

"Roads?" The DeLorean transformer said in a robot voice as it tried to shove itself into the room. "Where you're going, you'll need a body bag." The concrete blocks around it screeched against the priceless heirloom car body that bent and ripped against the room entrance.

"Oh, wonderful!" Alex shouted. "This thing has jokes too. Tell me how–"

"Great Scott. The Professor invented something that really works." The robot rattled off.

"Stop it! You can't just use all the lines right away!"

The blenders with shattered containers whirred and the toasters were baring their metal teeth. Closer and closer he floated towards the ceiling as an energy beam was fired just past his ear. Looking frantically, Alex saw it was a model steam engine that stood on two wobby iron legs and held a gun that looked straight out of a crappy movie. He spun helpless towards the murder blender convention. The toaster's internals glowed a cherry red and the dishwasher's hatch looked like it was yawning before its meal.

From somewhere deep in the science center, the Professor's majestic voice rang out, full of pride. "Pickles! Thank you, you good boy! You found it. Who's a good boy? Who's a goooood boy? You are! Yes, yes, you are!"

THINK! THINK!

A nearby tesla coil zapped and a jolt of electricity beamed through the room and right into Alex's rear.

"Fuck!" he screamed as he arced upside down or rightside up. He was within three feet of the vortex of blades and death by Sears. Not that he knew what that was. Alex looked forward, or downwards, or whatever way the end of the Appliance Amalgatation's body ended, as another jolt of energy pinged against a toaster. An energy beam bounced and shattered what remained of one pitiful looking blender.

With a screech of tortured metal, the DeLorean Transformer finally exploded into the room. Chunks of the doorway flew and one cinder block crumpled a Tesla coil. Alex didn't see, but the damn car struck a pose and blinkered it's headlights, saying in full gravitas:

"This will be heavy."

"Stick to one character at least!" Alex howled as another toaster launcher what looked like a metal poptart past his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut, just in time for the bottoms of his shoes to be kissed by a whirring immersion blender, and activated [Phantom Step].

For a few milliseconds, Alex was nowhere in the current reality. He traveled through the underspace and reappeared ten feet forward. No time had passed for him, though a few microseconds had passed in the real world. His feet slapped against the tiles as he cleared the Appliance Amalgamation and sped off to run upside-down along the tiled ceiling. The Tesla coils zapped at him furiously, the blenders whirred, and the dishwasher bemoaned its missed meal.

The DeLorean monster, never one to be outdone, stomped onto its monster brethren and crushed them underfoot, chasing after him. Alex didn't look back. The pizza box was held aloft and still toasty in his hand, and Professor Neuronium could be heard praising something called 'Pickles'. As Alex sprinted on the ceiling, the room upside down sign read 'Cold War Tech & Forgotten Prototypes'. He leapt through the arch, and felt the slightly more familiar sensation of gravity about to flip on him.

This time, he was mostly ready.

As gravity flipped, Alex instinctively activated [Illusory Copy]. The clone blinked into existence mid-air beside him, hoisting an identical pizza box and looking just like a model for a pizza advertisement. The damn guy had his tucked in, hair slicked back, and a cheesy smile. "You've got to be kidding me." Alex said as he thrashed mid air to get his feet under him.

The clone, cool as a cucumber, gave Alex a wink and executed a perfect front flip, landing with grace and poise. Alex landed like a chubby racoon caught stealing the donuts. At least he still held the box. They did, however, touch down at the same time. They split, Alex veering left and the clone veering right into the buzzing glow of a room the size of a warehouse full of monsters burring to life. Sirens wailed in broken tones and red lights pulsed. The room's ancient voice cheerily declared:

"Welcome to the Future of the Past! Please do not tamper with exhibits!"

A wall of hobbling military satellites lurched toward Alex. They scampered on their cracked solar panels. Alex juked hard, and slid on his heels as he used an antenna for some grip. "Hup!" He yelped as a fleet of CRT televisions launched themselves at him and sailed through the air. They weren't plugged in, but their screens played cold war era footage.

"Duck and cover!" Alex snarled and slid under the crashing plastic and glass.

A fresh whine rose. Dozens of Cold War prototype planes, no larger than child sized cars came screaming through the air. Their targeting systems blinked and locked in. Alex clenched his jaw and activated [Phantom Step] again. He slipped through the underspace and reappeared–

"SHITSHITSHI-"

Facing a full-sized tank. The tank was ripping towards him and the barrel was lowering. Soon enough, he would be able to look right up the metal metal tube that would surely shoot him in the face. There was no way in hell he was getting blown up. Somehow, he stayed calm and looked right, spotting his damn close who was leaping over planes like he was in a calendar shoot. The clone even took the time to kick a tv over before dashing off.

From the rear of the warhouse came a crash of something massive.

"1.21 GIGAWATTS." said the DeLorean Monster.

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A beam of goopy green energy blasted the tank's side, melting the metal plating. Alex didn't see, but he was pretty sure the DeLorean transformer was lasering out from his chest. The entire turret sagged before righting itself. Alex didn't wait to see the follow up and potential shot to the face.

He activated the second part of [Illusory Step] and blinked through the underspace. It felt terrible, like kaleidoscope and dissociation having a date, and he reappeared into the body of his copy. He was airborne, in a perfect pose, mid finger gunning an antique rocking chair with knives attached to it. Then his feet collided with solid ground. Clone gone. Alex intact.

Alex crouched just in time as a barrage of model guns flew towards him. He fucked under a mini rocket launcher no bigger than a lunchbox as it peppered the monsters behind him. The DeLorean roared. Alex grinned as he sprinted. He was really moving now, weaving between malfunctioning hover bikes and prototypes given life.

Oh yeah. We're grooooving.

Like a linebacker the DeLorean transformer clunked after him, crushing the fellow monsters underfoot. Alex skidded to a stop under the archway. Overhead, he read the sign for the next room. A smile broke across his face as he realized where he was about to run through.

"Oh hell yeah!" He hollered, right arm aloft to protect the goods.

[Deliver the Pizza to the Customer - Time Remaining - 32:02]

"CUE THE RUNNING MONTAGE!" [Blazing Hot] activated and Alex shot off. The chase was on again, and all he wanted to do was see the Science Center and deliver the pizza hot and ready.

He ripped into the prehistoric panorama. Giant model dinosaurs, made of real bone, fiberglass, and infused foam with live eyes twisted their heads toward him. A pack of velociraptors with switchblades for teeth shrieked and bounded after him in perfect synchronicity. They moved like greased nightmares, with mechanical piston mouths snapping shut.

Alex [Phantom Stepped] upwards, and appeared mid-air on a broad back of a brontosaurus that spat glowing metal rocks from its throat. He sprinted along its spine as it thrashed and tried to buck him off. He activated the Skill again to zip ten feet down to safety. Instead, he came face to face with a T. rex belching blue flames.

"Spared no expense, huh!?" He shouted and dashed out of the snapping jaws of the dino. An all bone triceratops charged and went to gore him, but before it could get going, the wall shattered. The DeLorean monster burst in like a Kood-Aid man and body checked the dinosaur into a mesozoic display. He watched in horror as a latch popped open and the DeLorean monster reached in to grab a straw hat, which it placed onto its head. Alex peeled around the snapping jaws of some monstrosity that he didn't know the name of into the next room.

Humidity punched him as giant light and heat lamps simulated rainfall over an indoor rainforest exhibit. The chaotic serenity of the jungle was undermined by the howling of swarming parrots and charging tiger-bots. The trees were alive, and groaned and bent down to snatch at him like grabby hands at a concern. Alex leapt over an anaconda, slid under a swinging vine studded with spikes, and [Phantom Stepped] across a chasm that opened up beneath him. At the bottom were thousands of scorpions. Alex was momentarily stunned by a horrid smelling flower that wheezed out a fog of glitter. Like rotten mangoes and death that made his head feel fuzzy. He dashed out of the cloud.

"IT IS WEDNESDAY, MY DUDES." Giant neon frogs called and shot their tongues at him, but Alex's faux flames were all that they caught. He dodged, jumped, and even did a sweet 180 over a bunch of marching flowers that pranced after him.

Behind him, the DeLorean monster stomped in and was immediately entangled by vines that trapped it. Alex stopped to take in the rainforest. It was probably the closest he would ever get to the real thing, seeing as the Amazon rainforest was one of the most Dungeon infested areas in the world, crowded with building sized snakes and packs of monkeys that ruled and rode jaguars.

Alex stopped at the clearing for just a second. The indoor rainforest was kind of beautiful. The scene had a weird harmony to it. Sure, a good chunk of the birds were sparking from the rain and the foliage was half-plastic. But the flowers were in full bloom under well maintained heat lamps. One section was marked off with a rope that read "UNDER MAINTENANCE – LEAVE FLOWERS ALONE PLEASE,". Said flowers were waddling after him with glacial speed, crying out little war cries. The DeLorean was getting its ass clawed by a bunch of mechanical lepards that were finally realizing they were supposed to be killing Alex. One hissed at him, and they all turned their heads, suddenly remembering that he existed. The DeLorean monster was thrashing against the vines.

Alex scratched his chin with his Stone Sword and frowned thoughtfully. Why did Professor Neuronium take such good care of his Dungeon? The place looked like a labour of love. Terrifying murder love, sure. But weirdly curated. Then a plant tried to bite his leg.

"Alright, enough introspection," he said and took off down the hallway. The sign overhead the next room read:

MODERN PHYSICS – EXPERIMENTAL WING – BEWARE OF DEATH

The room look like a certain professor had watched too many platformer speedruns. The floor dropped off sharply, leaving a twenty foot drop into a churning, rainbow coloured pool that sounded like TV static. Suspended above it were metal platforms on invisible tracks, either flipping, sliding, and occasionally smacking together to crush whoever was standing there. Alex scampered forward and kicked a rock into the liquid.

BOOM. The rainbow slurry exploded in a splash of shrapnel and hissing.

"Acid. Exploding acid. Exploding acid acid. Great." Alex said and prepped.

He popped [Illusory Copy]. His clone appeared next to him, and as usual looked like the guy who had a terrible job but would somehow still steal your girl. The copy slicked back his hair, soundlessly cracked his neck, and surveyed the room. He looked like he was one badass line from the finale of an Indiana Jones movie. Then the smug bastard turned to Alex and raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Oh, you pluck those on the regular, don't you?" Alex said snarkily. The clone just smirked.

From behind, the thundering CLANK-CLANK of a certain angry automotive robot boomed down the hallway.

"I AM THE PARADOX OF THE FOURTH DIMENSION! I WILL PLACE YOU IN INFINITE TIME!" bellowed the DeLorean monster, evidently having torn free from the jungle vines.

Alex nodded toward the shifting platform room. "Go on," he said while jerking his chin. "Git. Since you're so cool. Get somewhere safe and I'll zap over."

The clone scoffed without making a sound. He gripped the pizza box tighter and leapt.

Alex watched as the clone twisted in mid air to land on a narrow platform just as it flipped. The clone sprang off, using the flip like a launch pad, and backflipped through the air across the room. The clone met his eyes while upside down and finger gun shot Alex. Then the clone landed on the next platform and leapt to the other with ease.

"Show off," Alex said.

The DeLorean monster punched the hallway wall behind him. Alex looked back for just a moment and saw the car monster just on his tail.

Time to move. His clone leapt onto a sliding pad and turned to Alex. The damn dude put his hand gave him the lazy "come on, keep it moving," while feigning a yawn.

"Absolutely ridiculous, you know that?" Alex said and zapped over to his clone, just as the platform flipped, trying to dump him into the glitter acid.

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